Chapter 16:
Sora was ushered through the giant golden doors and into the throne room. Her bow and quiver had been taken from her before she was allowed to see the king, as was standard procedure. Sora felt strongly about parting with her father's bow, making the commander promise to have it sent up to her rooms. He said he would try, his deadpan tone not convincing her of this in the least.
Loki looked up at her from his lounging position on the throne and smiled as if she was an old friend he hadn't seen in a long while.
"Consul Sora, my Lord," the Commander announced, holding his head high as he presented her to him.
Sora's eyes narrowed on the trickster in front of her, hardly believing he had the gall to smile at her like that. There was nothing friendly or light about this moment and she felt the burning need to viciously berate this deceiver.
"Thank you, Thandrill," Loki said, standing up from his throne. His warlike attire cut an ominous figure atop the royal dais. "You many go now. I have important matters to discuss with Consul Sora."
The Commander bowed his head and took his leave. The guards followed and closed the doors behind them, leaving Sora and Loki alone.
"Hello Sora," he greeted, a serpent's smile curling at his lips. "It is very good to see you again. I was really beginning to get worried. Did you like your escort? I hope they didn't alarm you."
"I'm surprised you didn't have them bring me here in chains," she remarked, regarding him with an acidic look.
"Now what sense would that make when I have already told the Council that your absence was due to a sudden illness?"
Sora stared at him in confusion, which prompted a smug grin from Loki.
"I would not be so heartless as to condemn you Sora, despite what you probably believe."
"And the boy, what about Nuru?" she asked, most eager to discuss this matter.
"Him? His capture was merely a plan to get you to come to me without a fuss," he said with a satisfied grin.
"What will you do with him?" She pressed.
Loki's expression darkened then, making his displeasure of her previous actions clear. As much as he was enjoying his success in her capture, his pleasure still did not outweigh his underlying anger. "Nothing will be done about him for now, unless you decide to defy me again."
"If you hurt him…" she warned, her protective nature seizing her once more.
"You'll what, pacifist?" Loki spat harshly as he looked down his nose at her. Her threats were empty nothings to him. Her honorable nature made her predictable and without many viable options. His morality was grey at best; he had an endless number of tricks he could employ to thwart her cause. "Besides, I already assured you that I haven't done a thing to him. I'm a king, not a monster Sora. There's no need to do more than what's necessary in this case. We want to hide your indiscretion from the council, don't we?"
"What about the letters I sent Merin? Surely he distributed them, otherwise you would not have found it so prudent to hunt for me," she reasoned swiftly. "How will the council believe your thin lie over the crushing weight of my truth?"
Loki grinned widely, setting Sora's teeth on edge… of course he had a plan for that as well, she thought bitterly.
"Oh how I've missed your fire, Sora," he said, the exhilaration clear on his face. Clasping his hands behind his back, he drew closer to her. "Let us be honest, Merin was always on the fringes of the Council. It wasn't hard to convince the other members that he used your illness as an opportunity to push his own anti-war agenda by dispersing a series of seditious letters he claimed was written by your hand. The act would leave him blameless of any treachery. I, of course, came to your immediate defense confirming that you were too ill to speak two words much less wield a quill. You would have been labeled as a traitor had I not intervened in your foolish attempt to insight an uprising. Besides, why would you validate the truth in those letters when it would put your dear friends in peril, especially little Nuru?"
Sora said nothing, her eyes intently studying the floor at her feet. There was nothing that could be done, the serpent had already dispersed its' lethal venom. "What of Merin, now that you've slandered him for my actions?"
"He's been barred from the council by my orders and awaiting trial." Loki knew he could not kill the old goat because Sora was so fond of him. She would never speak to him again if he did. So he would give Merin a mild prison sentence to teach him a lesson and leave it at that. An Asgardian prison was not hospitable to say the very least, so that was enough of a punishment for Loki.
"Though Merin will be punished, I think we both know who the real traitor is don't we Sora? However, I went to great lengths to keep your name clean. So now that you're back, I want this nonsense to stop, is that understood?" He told her, his eyes narrowing on the consul. It seemed as if he was rebuking a child and his words only stoked her anger. If only she could reply to him in the manner that she wished.
Sora remained quiet, bitterness filling her entire body. The full extent of her failure seemed to have suddenly hit her. And Loki's hand in it infuriated her. Loki had completely and utterly outwitted her, as he often did his opponents, and that irked her to no end.
Loki took her silence as an agreement, whether she meant it to be one or not. "I can be a loving master too Sora," he explained, placing a hand under her chin and tilting her head up to meet his gaze. "As you can see I am very much capable of forgiveness. Simply do not defy me… then you will see how generous I can be."
Waving his hand in the air beside him, he conjured up a gold circlet shaped like a long, thin pair of wings, the tips coming to a point in the front. Sora recognized the circlet of office immediately and stared at it in trepidation, wondering what had happened to its previous wearer- most likely killed or imprisoned for insubordination. She wanted to knock the gift from his hand, repulsed by his gesture of so-called kindness, but stayed her anger knowing it would only cause her more grief.
"I'm appointing you Leader of the High Council," he told her with a pleased smirk as he raised the band of gold over her head. His expression darkened in a brief look of warning as he said, "Wear it well." With that, he placed the circlet atop her head, smoothing his hands over her hair as he slid them down to rest on her bare shoulders. "Are you not pleased?"
"Yes," she bit out. Her fists were clenched so hard that it cut half moon shapes into her palms.
"It vexes me how someone so beautiful could cause me so much trouble," he murmured, as he twisted a lock of her hair between his fingers. "It must be because I love you."
His words were like bitter poison mixed in sweet wine. She wondered if he even knew how deeply he was wounding her by telling her that. It was killing her to know that even through all his rage and his wickedness, that he still loved her. Because, even though he was the sorrow that touched her heart, she still loved him as well. He was surely to be the death of her, but she could not help but love her murderer.
Loki leaned down and kissed her deeply, drinking from the reservoir that often sustained him in his dark times. When he pulled away, he saw from the tears on her cheeks that she was crying.
"I had a dream for us Loki… that we would be together regardless of all the unhappiness and strife in the universe. But how can we when you are the cause of it?" She asked, sinking away from him in despair. "This is not who you are Loki. Please, come back to me."
"How do you know who I am?" he yelled in her face, the madness flaring in his green eyes. Clearly she had struck a nerve. "If you knew the truth about me- knew of the monster that dared to even touch you- you'd be disgusted."
Loki's words stole the breath from her lungs. Suddenly, so much of what he was doing, what he had done against her and his family, made sense.
"Loki, I've always known who you were," she told him, her confession soft.
He laughed bitterly, knowing his next words would be the killing blow. But he never got to deliver them.
"Loki, I've always known you were a Jotun."
The room fell completely silent then. It felt to Loki as if a bucket of cold water had been thrown over his head.
"What?" he whispered, his anger breaking into crippling devastation. "No…"
"It's true," said Sora, knowing this was tearing him apart by revealing this. "Your father wanted to bring about a permanent peace with Jotunheim. So, he had begun to work with me on creating a treaty between the two worlds. Nearly a year went by before he told me about your true parentage. He had an idea that the revelation of your birthright would bind Asgard and Jotunheim together in eternal brotherhood."
"So why didn't you go through with this brilliant plan of Odin's?" He scoffed bitterly.
"Because I wouldn't let him exploit you, Loki," she told him, her stomach in knots.
"Oh, I see, so you felt a sense of duty protect the unwitting half-giant. Once again your pretentious moral conscience rears its ugly head."
"I didn't know you back then," she argued. "What I did know was that it was wrong to use you- to use anyone in that way. And despite everyone else's bad opinion of you, I made sure no harm came to you."
"My savior," he snorted, angrily rolling his eyes. "As if I needed your charity. So here's the real question: if you knew all along, why didn't you tell me?"
"I was sworn to secrecy, Loki! I had no choice in the matter. I wanted to tell you… everyday I wanted to tell you… but then suddenly it didn't matter to me anymore. So I chose to forget, hoping that you would never find out."
"But you had to know that, one day, I would," he said, glaring at her.
"I was afraid of what of what it would do to you if you knew," she said, realizing the irony of her words.
For once Loki was speechless. It nearly killed her to see him so lost.
"Show me what you are, Loki." She whispered, stepping towards him. Loki looked at her as if she were insane and instinctively backed away from her. The notion of showing her his natural form to anyone, much less her, genuinely frightened him.
Sora then crossed over to him, stopping his sudden retreat. "Please… Loki."
Closing his eyes in defeat, he transformed in front of her. His white skin was overtaken by a heavily pigmented ice blue and large patterns of scarification appeared across his angular face. Once the transformation was complete, he couldn't bring himself to look at her, knowing that she must be staring at him; most likely in horror. "My whole life, my father told me about the savage wickedness of the Frost Giants, knowing all along that I was one. And you… you knew as well."
Sora felt tears forming in her eyes as Loki spoke, feeling his pain tearing up her own heart.
Stepping towards him, she placed a steady hand on his cheek. His blue skin was cold and he seemed to almost tremble beneath her touch- whether he shook from rage or fear, she would not pull away. She had told him she was not afraid of his Joten lineage… she was at least going to prove that to him, regardless of how she felt at the moment.
"I do not see the monster that you see," She told him, threading her fingers into his long raven hair and holding his blood red eyes level with hers. "I see Loki."
She gave him time to register her words then she pressed her lips softly to his forehead. Loki's heart froze in his chest as he realized that she was actually touching him.
When she pulled away his face changed back to the one she knew so well. His skin returned to its smooth, pale complexion, his green eyes regained their luster, and all his body heat returned to his veins.
"You are also king of Asgard," she spoke, breaking the calm in the room. "Is that really not enough for you?"
Loki sighed, pulling away from her, his expression darkening.
"No Sora, it is not enough," he murmured.
Sora clenched her jaw tight at the realization that he was not going to see sense and come back to her. Her confession was her last attempt to save him, to pull him back from the edge, and he would not listen. The madness had taken hold of him and it was too late for Loki to turn back.
"Goodbye, Loki," she muttered, taking off the circlet of office and pushing it into his hands before heading for the doors.
"Sora," Loki called, gripping the gold headpiece.
She did not turn around, and deep in the pit of his stomach, he knew he held no real power over her. He'd lost her.
Reaching the doors, she turned back to him. "I sincerely hope that the destruction of one of us is not the only way to end this," she said before leaving.
Loki stared after her a moment, recalling a time when Sora and he would have given anything to be together.
It had only been a week since the day Loki first kissed Sora in the healing room and already their lives were being turned upside-down. At first, it was as if they were living in a waking dream, meeting each other in secret whenever possible and exchanging knowing glances in public. Sora couldn't keep herself from smiling whenever he was near and it made him happy to see that he was the cause of her happiness.
Then one day, Loki noticed Sora was no longer smiling. She would not answer the notes he sent to her- all of his magpies flew back to him, the letters still attached to their feet. She would not meet with him in their usual places or walk with him after Council meetings. She had completely cut herself off from him without warning or reason and it was obvious to Loki that he would have to go searching for her, lest she leave him in the dark forever.
One afternoon after training with Thor and the Warriors Three, Loki scoured the palace for her. He looked in all the usual places before deciding to head for the Council Chamber. Passing down a row of empty guest apartments, he suddenly remembered something. One time, long ago it seemed, Loki had found Sora in one of the guest rooms having just been a fight with Thor over the peace agreement with Jotunhiem. Finding what he thought to be the right door, he cracked it open slightly and peered inside.
There he found Sora pacing the floor, the grey beaded train of her dress dragging heavily behind her. She must have heard the creaking of the doors' hinges because she turned to look at him.
"May I come in?" He asked from the doorway.
Sora nodded quietly, stopping her anxious movements. Loki stepped into the room and closed the door behind him so they could talk. He opened his mouth to speak but it seemed that Sora was one step ahead of him.
"We should never have kissed one another," she told him, nervously folding her hands inside the long fabric of her sleeves. "And I ask that we never kiss again."
Loki nearly stepped away from Sora upon hearing her words. Never get close to anyone… he learned this lesson long ago. To be close to another meant heartache. For a moment, back in the healing rooms, Loki thought he might be willing to risk it. However, it seemed that he was mistaken.
"You regret what we did?" Loki asked, trying his best to play the part of the stoic, despite his inner restlessness.
"A little," Sora confessed quietly, their eyes briefly connecting from across the room. "Please understand I do not want to reject you."
"But you do not harbor such feelings for me," he finished, assuming these were her sentiments.
"No!" Sora all but blurted out. "I assure you, my feelings are quite the opposite."
Loki regarded her with a confused expression, his façade of indifference crumbling and revealing his true desire beneath. The way he looked at her now, the yearning written across his boyish face, was enough to make her have to fight back tears.
"Loki," she said, taking a step towards him. "I have thought of nothing but you ever since the day you walked out of the shadows and pressed a bit of silk to my wounded side. Believe me, I do not want to do this."
"Then why run… why push me away?" He breathed, hardly believing what Sora had just said.
"Because Heimdall saw us together!" she blurted out. "He did not trust that you would save me without a reason so he turned his gaze to you."
"And instead seeing only me, he saw us together," Loki concluded, his brow knit in concern. It was now clear to him why Sora was attempting to put distance between them.
"Yes, he called me down to the Bifrost a few days ago and told me he knew what we were doing," she said, remembering Heimdall's expression of disapproval- and to her shame, hidden behind that was his obvious disgust. "I could hardly believe it. But he says he has seen it, that he has evidence to prove it."
"Why hasn't he told my father yet?" Loki muttered.
"He said that he is keeping silent only for my sake and only this once. If we continue with our relationship, he will reveal us," she told him.
Heimdall thought Sora trusted too easily in others and that Loki had exploited this in order to seduce her. 'Entire tomes could be filled with his exploits,' he told her, 'I do not wish to see you among them'. He knew her heart was in the right place, he said, but Loki wasn't wounded animal needing care, he was an asp waiting to strike.
Sora had carefully considered his words, and could understand Heimdall's position. Yet, he did not know Loki the way she did. 'You have eyes to see the universe Heimdall, but you do not look deeper than the surface,' she told him, 'I have acted foolish to be sure, but there is one thing I know and that is Loki is not the villain you think him to be'.
The Gatekeeper could not know of Loki's admiration for his older brother Thor, or his devotion to his father Odin, nor of his dependence on the kind words of his mother Frigga. He did not know of the way he looked at her from across a crowded room, as if she were the burning light that warmed his soul. And he did not know of the yearning inside the man to become something greater than what people saw him to be. Yes, Sora understood Loki, more than anyone knew. Loki could be good and honorable if given the chance.
Regardless, she knew that she had broken the law and that was the only reason why she would heed Heimdall's warning and break from her relationship with Loki. Now here they stood, desperate and in pain because she would not allow Heimdall to slander him.
"I will admit, I have been somewhat careless about our concealment," Loki said, slowly pacing the floor. "We will have to be more careful in the future to be sure."
"It is forbidden for us to be together, Loki, and it took Heimdall only a matter of days to discover us," she told him, trying to get him to understand. She would not be responsible for bringing peril down upon them. "We have to stop now before it gets out of hand. The All-Father's wrath will burn us asunder if we are revealed."
Hearing this, Loki crossed the room and took her face in his hands, "Then we will become invisible, even to Heimdall's gaze." He wiped away her tears with his thumbs and drew her into his arms. The thought of anyone taking her away from him made him hold onto her tighter. "I will begin my study on the matter tonight. Besides, we need only deceive them for so long. Once Thor becomes king, things will be different. He will be able to make his own commands as well as change that of the All-Father's. Thor is my brother; he would not deny me my happiness."
Sora looked into his green eyes and saw optimism there. She only wished that she could feel as confident in his plan as he did. It seemed wrong to deceive her friends for so long, but she had no choice if she wished to be with Loki.
"So we must live a lie until Thor takes the throne…" She muttered, her expression a muddle of uncertainty and discontent. "I do not see how we can manage to keep up the charade."
"You seem to forget who you are talking to. I am the master of lies and deception, no doubt you've often been informed you of that," he said with a wide grin. "Frankly, I would be disappointed in myself if I could not find a way around Heimdall."
Sora laughed, shaking her head in response. What he said was true. She had often seen his mischievous nature put itself to work and was amazed by his abilities. And regardless of his powers, she realized that her fear of discovery did not outweigh her desire to be with him.
"Aright," she said with a nod, consenting to this insane plan.
"Yes?" Loki asked, making sure he had heard her right. He could not help the elated smile that spread across his face.
"Yes, we will do it. But I still do not think it is wise," she told him quickly, as he picked her up off the ground and squeezed her tightly to him in excitement and relief. Sora laughed, wrapping her arms around his neck.
"Whoever said I was wise?" he said with a smirk before kissing her deeply.
Soon Loki's cool lips and strong embrace made her forget her worries and remind her of how perfect he made her feel. Whenever they were together, they remembered why all the trouble they went through was worth it.
Loki stopped in front of Sora's apartment door, twisting the gold circlet of office in his hands in uncertainty. He wished to speak with her, but what about he didn't quite know. Admittedly he was ashamed of his rough treatment of her, but there was not taking it back.
Resting his hand on the wood he breathed out slowly, taking in the stillness of the halls around him. He had chased away the one person he believed truly loved him. This would not pain him so much if he thought he could win her back. But that harsh look in her eyes, the coldness of her manner when she left him in the throne room, made him believe that she was no longer the idealistic, forgiving woman she used to be. He feared the potential darkness he had awoken in her and what that meant for them.
Letting out a quiet sigh, he pulled away from her door and headed to his own rooms.
AN: I wrote this story ages ago (It was my 2nd large undertaking on ) and I realized, re-reading it and checking out the reviews, that there needed to be an overhaul on some of the chapters (mostly this one). Hopefully the years have made me older and wiser and that this is far better than the original (I think so, anyways). So, any who, I'm still trying to give this story another go. Let's see if I don't cock it up ;)