anonymous asked:
sanvers + lost. (sorry these all somehow turned into the one word prompt things that some people ask for. i personally like seeing how the writer interprets the word and what they decide to make)
She's pretty sure she's dreaming, but dreaming has never felt quite this vivid.
And she's had some pretty vivid nightmares since she joined the DEO.
The DEO! Why would… why would she be at home in Midvale? She's on assignment, she…
"Morning babe!" Maggie greets her from the kitchen, six mugs set out for coffee as Kara bustles around behind her stirring up a mean pancake batter.
"Maggie, what – "
"Good morning, honey." A scruffy kiss lands on her cheek and Alex jumps, and then Alex sobs, and then Alex backs away quickly, quickly, quickly.
"Dad, you – no, Cadmus has you, you're not – and Maggie's not – no, no, Cadmus has you, I'm dreaming, or – is that my board?"
Her eyes land on the surfboard – propped up near the back door – she rode in her last competition before leaving for Stanford. The one she completely wiped out on. The one she'd tossed in a fit of rage, a fit of despair, a fit of not being worthy, of not being deserving, of not being good enough.
It's clean and it's sleek and it's new-looking, and Eliza steps in from the backyard with a wide smile.
"Oh Alex, I'm so proud of you. My beautiful girl."
Eliza steps forward and hugs her and kisses both her cheeks and Jeremiah beams and Maggie giggles with Kara as they try to smear each other's noses with pancake batter.
"Mom, what – what'd I do?"
Eliza shrugs as she steps back from Alex's befuddled arms. "You don't have to do anything for me to be proud of you, Alexandra."
Alex squints and Alex steps back again.
"No. No, this isn't right, this isn't… The DEO – J'onn needs me, I – "
"The DEO? Alex, we haven't been bothered by those damn soldiers since you created that serum to keep Kara safe from kryptonite, remember?"
Alex blinks and Maggie sidles up and kisses her slow, kisses her soft, kisses her passionate. "Mmm, my brilliant fiancée, being brilliant. And beautiful. As always."
"Your… fiancée?" Alex blinks and Kara laughs.
"How early were you up to surf this morning, Alex? You even awake yet?"
"I… no… I…"
But Maggie's lips are soft and Kara's smile is warm and Jeremiah's cologne is strong and Eliza's pride is… genuine. Deep. Unconditional.
And the ringing in the back of her mind diminishes, the alarm bells in the pit of her stomach settle, the tension in her ready-to-fight muscles dispels.
Because in a half hour, J'onn and James and Winn and M'gann are streaming through the door, with champagne and with orange juice and with pie, because Sunday is for brunch and brunch is for family and family is whole and here and now.
Alex leans into Jeremiah as she laughs and Eliza strokes her hair and asks everyone if they'd ever seen such a perfect couple and Kara is popping champagne bottles with her powers and she's kissing Alex's cheek as she crosses past where she's sitting with Maggie, who's joking with James and M'gann, who's sitting next to a skeptical-looking J'onn listening to an overenthusiastic pitch for some new computer whosawhatsit from Winn.
And by the end of the day, she forgets that there is something to worry about. Because this is her life. And her life is perfect.
She waves energetically from way out on the surf when she sees Maggie and Kara, weeks and weeks and lifetimes later, standing on the shore waiting for her, waving her in. She tosses up a hand and knows Kara will be able to see that she's gesturing one, one more, one more wave.
And she catches it, and it's perfect, and it's beautiful, and she doesn't risk swiveling her eyes toward Maggie, but she knows she's impressed and she knows she's turned on and she knows she's in love, in love, in love.
She rides through the funnel of a wave until it crashes down, and she carries the board the rest of the way out to Maggie and Kara.
"Alex. You look happy," Kara says, but she doesn't sound like herself. Alex furrows her brow.
"Of course I'm happy, Kara, why wouldn't I be happy?"
Kara and Maggie exchange a glance, and Alex's frown deepens.
"What's wrong with you two? Didn't you see me ride that wave?"
"Yeah, it was great, babe, you were great – you're always great – but Ally, baby, you – "
"Alex, remember when I was under the effects of the Black Mercy?"
Alex stares between Kara and Maggie and Alex laughs.
"The what now?"
"Babe, I know this is going to be so hard. And I'm so sorry, but honey, it – Al, this world you're living in? It's not the only world out there. It's not the world you're… you're actually from."
"What the hell, Maggie? What're you talking about?"
"Alex, it's me. It's your sister, you have to trust me, trust us, it – this isn't real. None of this, I'm sorry, none of it is real. What's real is that right now, you're hallucinating, you're… you're creating the perfect world, your perfect world, around yourself, but your real body… Alex, you're dying, the Black Mercy will keep you here forever if you don't come with us, and I – "
"Kara, what the hell? You've been here with me, you've been staying here with me, while Maggie and my apartment gets renovated in National City, you – "
Kara pales and Maggie gulps, and Alex notices why the moment after they do.
Because suddenly Kara and Maggie aren't the only Kara and Maggie on the beach.
Suddenly, the two women she's been living with – the women in soft clothes and sunburnt skin – make the two women she's been talking to, with their pale expressions and their wide eyes and the sidearm and badge on Maggie's hip, stand out as imposters, as invaders, as fakes. As threats.
"What the hell – "
"Ally, I'm so sorry, babe, but Kara's right, you have to listen to her – "
"Listen to her? Alex, who are these people? Why do they look like us? Should we call Clark? He can help us get rid of them, Alex."
"Alex, babe, this isn't you, this isn't your life. This isn't the life we're building together – "
"The life you're building together? You might look like me, but I'm the one with the finger Danvers put a ring on – "
"What the – Al, you wanna – "
"Maggie, don't let yourself get distracted, we need to – "
"Right. Right right right. Al, I – no – "
No, because the Black Mercy versions of Kara and Maggie are restraining them, now, are fighting them punch for punch, mirroring their moves and holding them down, Eliza and Jeremiah suddenly on the shore to oversee the brawl.
"Babe, this isn't your dad. But I promise you, we're gonna find him, Alex, I promise you but this – this isn't how – " She takes a punch to the gut from herself as Kara slams herself into the sand.
"Alex, you need to listen to Maggie – the real Maggie – and me, Alex, it's me, I'm me, I'm your sister, I – I broke your hand the first time I tried a human handshake, and you crawled under the kitchen table with me the first time I got scared of the popcorn maker, and you needed stitches that time I pulled that girl out of that van, and you know why I'm telling you this?"
Kara is yelling, now, is pleading, because the other version of herself is holding her down, is holding her back, just as the other version of Maggie is holding Maggie down, is holding Maggie back.
"Because this world, Alex? This world doesn't allow for that kind of pain, for any pain. And when I was trapped in my own world, you told me, Alex, you saved me – you told me that the world can't always be about pain, but Alex, Maggie needs you, J'onn needs you."
"Don't listen to this imposter, Alexandra, she's trying to corrupt your beautiful mind – "
"Alex please, I need you. I have always needed you, more than I've ever needed anyone, anything. And the world needs you, Alex, Jeremiah needs you! He needs you to rescue him from Cadmus, and the world needs you to keep it safe, and I need my sister!"
Alex stares at the tears streaming down Kara's face, at the blood streaming down Maggie's. Her Kara's. Her Maggie's.
Hers. Because Jeremiah. Jeremiah needs her. J'onn. The world. Maggie.
And Kara. Kara, Kara, Kara.
Calloused hands take her by the arms, now, and it's the last bit of convincing she needs, because Jeremiah would never hurt her, never, and this? This grip hurts.
"Alex, you don't need to rescue me. You don't need to rescue anyone. I'm here, Kara's safe. All thanks to you, Alex. You can live your life here, with all of us, with the people who love you, not these… not these imposters."
His grip on her arms hurts, and his words are soft, but his eyes are hard.
And Alex kisses his forehead anyway, because she knows. She knows it's the last chance she'll get in a long time.
But he lets her go, because he doesn't understand. He doesn't understand that she's saying goodbye
"I will rescue you, Dad. I will. That's a promise. And I'll find a way to make you proud, Mom. Somehow."
Jeremiah's eyes glow and he leaps on her, then, to prevent her from reaching Kara, to prevent her from reaching Maggie. She hits the sand and her surfboard snaps against her ribs, and she screams, and Maggie struggles to free herself enough to reach for her hand, and Kara struggles to reach for her other, and Eliza yells and Jeremiah's fist raises and the world goes black.
The world goes black until she opens her eyes, and she gasps, and she sits bolt upright.
And she sobs.
Kara and Maggie's hands find her as J'onn grasps her thigh, and she lets her sister and her once-fiancée-now-girlfriend hold her, hold her, their tears mixing with hers on her face.
"I'm sorry, Ally," Maggie whispers into her hair, and Alex moves back and shakes her head.
"No. Mags, babe, I… no, I – I was lost. I was lost, and you two found me. That's… never apologize for that."
She leans up and kisses Maggie's lips and she leans back and pulls Kara into a bone-crushing hug.
"You're my sister, Alex. I will never let you stay lost. Never."