Thanks to all who reviewed! Now, let's get under way with the next episode!

Cue the theme!

...

All right, we've got another story for you, Mr Starr.

Goodie. Oh, and it's another Tommy one!

Thomas. The people we got the rights from were very specific.

Thomas, Tommy, Tom Thumb, does it really matter?

Just...do your thing.

Fine mate. Ahem.

...

Thomas the Tank Engine was grumbling to the other engines.

I'll give you a moment to compose yourself from the shock.

"I spend my time pulling coaches around ready for you to take them out on journeys." he whined piteously. Edward and Henry looked at each other, and the latter rolled his eyes. Edward too felt the need to roll his own eyes, but he tried vainly to hold them back.

Thomas had been going on about this for quite some time. At first, the engines had found it...cute. Edward had threatened to hit them if they said that aloud again, but he had bit his tongue when it came to assuring Thomas that it would be his turn one day.

Because...well...it might not be.

Sir Topham Hatt had long ago promised Edward his own branchline. It had been something that Edward would have actually found rather interesting and enjoyable in all honesty. But he had been placed on standby and no one had looked at him until recently. Marklin was a engine who had been here as long as Edward at least, and was still just a little shunter engine. Not everyone got want they wanted.

And as the complaints got larger and larger and longer and longer, and as Thomas kept going on and on, it had worn Edward's patience down.

They both laughed in the end.

Thomas was not done though. "Why can't I pull passenger trains too?!"

"You're too impatient Thomas." said Gordon, in the way that a very sarcastic boss might speak to a slow employee. "You'd be sure to leave something behind."

"Like your dignity." Gordon let out a laugh at Henry's comment.

"RUBBISH!" declared Thomas. "I'll show you!"

He drove off in a huff.

He came back a minute later, waited for his fireman to actually get on the train instead of adding more coal to his bunker and then left in a huff again.

...

One night, he and Henry were alone.

Well, alone's a subjective term. There were other engines there, but they had used the turntable to escape to the nearby goods shed to start playing a rousing game of 'Let's Ignore Henry Being Sick'. So far, Gordon was winning.

But yeah, Henry was ill. The men worked hard, but couldn't make him better. The engine doctor wasn't there, on account of he didn't exist back then. This is why the Fat Controller began work on a proper health care service.

Thomas looked into the distance and wished that the turntable had not broken before he could escape the sounds of Henry retching and moaning aloud.

...

"Had a good night Thomas?"

"OH SHUT UP GORDON."

He was just as bad the next morning. Henry let out a cry of pain and let out such a thick cloud of black dust that the Red Engine and Edward almost immediately were drenched in coal dust.

"Oh god I'm supposed to be getting trucks ready!" moaned the Red Engine as he waited for the first engine to go. The turntable had been fixed. Henry usually pulled the first train (A act which most of the engines suspected was Sir Topham Hatt's way of placating him and making sure that a massive lawsuit didn't come his way) and Thomas had to get his coaches ready.

Thomas was considering joining a union, but then a better thought entered his brain.

If Henry is ill, he thought, perhaps I shall pull his train.

It was lucky for Henry that Thomas the Oppurtunistic Engine did not thin of hiring a hitman to take him out full time. He puffed off to the yard.

He then reversed back to get his fireman, who had once again been checking his coal was high enough.

...

Thomas ran to find the coaches. "COME ALONG, COME ALONG!" He roared, doing his best impersonation of a drill seargant.

The coaches were having none of it. "There's plenty of time, there's plenty of time. Besides, this is only our first date!"

The Red Engine grimaced as he pulled the orange branch line coaches to collect some of the resident trainspotters. Now, what were orange branch line coaches doing on the main line? There's a very good answer for that.

I don't have it, but there is one.

Thomas took them to the platform ("Oh real original!" they grumbled) and wanted to run round in front at once! But the driver wouldn't let him. Don't be impatient Thomas!" He snapped, and quickly looked back to make sure that the Fireman had stayed by the cab.

Thomas waited and waited. The people got in (Among them the new sensation Jerimiah 'The Bootlace' Jobling and his wife), the guard and the stationmaster rocked their Hitler mustaches as they walked up and down, the porter banged the doors (Not like that.) and still Henry didn't come! Thomas grew more and more excited! He was almost about to pee himself, if he could.

Speaking of which, let's check in on Henry.

...

"BLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

...

And that was all we needed to see.

The Fat Controller came to see what the matter was. Which was serious, as he had been drinking to quell the pain of his divorce. The guard and the stationmaster told him about Henry.

"Well sir, he's green, got the number three on his tender-"

"I KNOW WHO HENRY IS! Where is he?"

"Being sick sir. As a horse."

"And that's why horse and carriages went out of fashion! Let this be a lesson to you. Find another engine!"

"There's only Thomas." They said.

"Excellent! More footage! called back Miss Allcroft.

"You'll have to do Thomas! Go quickly, son of gon- I mean, hurry up Thomas!"

So Thomas ran round to the front and backed down on the coaches, ready to start! After all, it had been three whole episodes since he had actually done anything fun!

"Don't be impatient!" said his driver, who had just finished gluing the Fireman to the back of Thomas to make sure he wasn't left behind "Wait til everything is ready!" But Thomas was too excited to listen. He should have gone to the little male engine room.

What happened then, no one knows.

Perhaps they forgot to couple Thomas to the train (Those damn couple-uppers!) or perhaps the driver pulled the lever by mistake. Anyhow Thomas started! As he passed the first signalbox, men waved and shouted, but he didn't stop! He was a engine on a mission damn it. "They're waving because I'm such a splendid engine!" He declared to all and sundry.

Somewhere, The Red Engine figured out what his catchphrase would be. Co-inki-dink.

"Henry says it's hard to pull trains, but I think it's easy! Hurry hurry hurry!" said Thomas the Arrogant Sod as he did his Gordon impersonation that would fool perhaps a five year old. If said five year old had never seen Gordon before.

"People have never seen me pulling a train! It's nice of them to wave." And he whistled, scaring the hell out of several people and causing one lady to go into labor. "Peep peep, thank you!"

"SCREW YOU, BOG OFF!" shouted back several drunk yobs, before a policeman rushed up.

Now it may occur to you why the driver had not immediately corrected the oversight. Well, shortly as Thomas began moving, he had turned back and stared in shock at where the Fireman should be. Gluing his hands to the back had had the unfortunate side effect of keeping him there until he had fallen off and smacked into the rails. The Driver had therefore spent most of the rest of journey sitting in a dazed silence.

Then he came to a signal at danger. "OH BOTHER!" He declared, doing his Winnie the Pooh impersonation. "I must stop and I was going so nicely too! What a nuisance signals are!" Thomas hated signals with a passion. One had killed his father. He blew a angry "PEEP PEEP" on his whistle to try and murder it. The Signalman ran up.

"Hello...Thomas, what are you doing here?"

"HA! Oh ye of little eyesight, I'm pulling a train, can't you see?"

"...Where's the coaches?"

Thomas looked back and smiled.

And smiled.

And smiled.

And smi- "OH BALLS ALIVE!" He declared as it finally sank in. His face took on a look of complete and utter shock. "If we haven't left them behind!"

"Go back and get them then." said the signalman brusquely as he walked off to return to his magazine.

Poor Thomas was so sad he nearly cried.

"Cheer up" said his driver hopefully. "Let's go back quickly and try again!"

...

There was a sudden bump as they returned over the level crossing.

"What was that?" asked Thomas.

"Nothing Thomas." said his driver, his face pale with horror as he stared at what had used to be the Fireman's body and was now railkill. "Just keep looking backwards." He spotted the policeman giving pursuit. "Oh balls!" He declared.

...

At the station all the passengers were talking (And in a few cases, rioting) at once. They were telling Sir Topham what a bad railway it was. But when Thomas came back and they saw how sad he was, they couldn't be cross.

Thank you Thomas, Topham said mentally.

They coupled him up and this time he really pulled the train.

At which point, the policemen rolled up and arrested his driver.

It was not a good day.

...

But for a long time afterwards the other engines laughed at Thomas.

"Look-" they said. "There's Thomas who wanted to pull a train but forgot about the coaches!"

They had not yet learned the art of the 'Joke'.

Of course, not only then was Henry still occasionally letting out horrible noises and being incredibly ill, but with the upcoming court case, the Railway really didn't need what happened next to happen.

So it did.