A Merry Christmas Eve

Written and Posted on Tumblr for Mystic Messenger Secret Santa 2016

The smell of baking goods filled Yoosung's apartment as he pulled the freshly cooked Christmas cake from the oven. The hot tray swayed and tilted in his hands. He quickly deposited it onto the kitchen counter and drew a sigh of relief; even wearing oven mitts his fingers were at risk of burning.

"Mm…" the girl beside him inhaled the rich scent. "That smells good!"

Yoosung beamed a smile at her praise. It bloomed across his face with a flush he blamed on the heat of the oven, not the fact that her words always sent his heart aflutter. Not the fact that she was, most definitely, the love of his life.

Even if she didn't know that.

"Now, it just needs to cool and we can add the icing," she said, stirring the white icing in a large bowl. She swiped a bead of icing on her finger, drawing it to her mouth for a quick taste. Her tongue cleaned the sticky icing off her finger, before running over her lips to collect any remainder. Yoosung's eyes followed its path. He swallowed thickly and shot his gaze away, suddenly feeling warmer than before. Desperate to think of something, of anything else other than those supple, pink lips of hers, alluringly shiny with lip gloss, he reached for the icing bowl.

"Uh-uh!" she chided, and tugged the bowl out of his reach. "This is for the cake!"

Yoosung pouted as he eyed the bowl in her hands. She hugged it protectively in her arms, and turned her body slightly away from him.

"Ehh?" he whined. "You got to try some!" He stepped closer, reaching around her for the bowl.

She dodged with a quickly timed step. "That was a taste-test!"

"Let me taste-test too!" His lips drew further into a pout and he lunged for the bowl. She backed up, turning away in time to save the icing from his grasp, but making him hit the spoon instead. It flicked up from the bowl, splattering the white, sticky icing into the air, where it spectacularly plopped to the kitchen floor. All of it, that is, except for a glob on her cheek.

"Yoosung!" she huffed in exasperation. "Now look! It's all over the floor!"

"Sorry…" He shrunk as she sighed, though his eyes were glued to the icing on her cheek.

She hadn't noticed it. She was too busy mumbling, muttering about the icing, the floor, cleaning it…

An embarrassed, yet eager, grin pulled on Yoosung's face. Now was his chance. He snuck closer to her, one step, two, and reached his hand for her cheek. Her eyes fell on his. They widened, her lips parting in surprise, as his thumb dusted her cheek. Lightly, softly, it brushed across her cheek and collected the icing. He drew his thumb to his lips, keeping his eyes on hers, and licked the icing off.

Her cheeks bloomed a bright, bright cherry red and his composure shattered. A violent heat seared up his neck to his ears.

"S-Sorry!" he blurted, stammered, words stuck on his tongue. "Th-There was icing! On your cheek! So, I just–"

Her fingers touched where his had been, drawn to her cheek automatically in surprise. "Oh."

Their eyes, still locked together, held that shy gaze between them. A deafening silence draped over them, so quiet that Yoosung swore she could hear his heartbeat. It pounded heavily in his chest. It was all he could feel save for the sparks shooting through him, the fluttering in his chest.

"Sh-Should we remove the cake from its tin?" she asked, stammering over the first word. "For it to cool." She set the mixing bowl down a little too roughly, and shuffled around him to the cake tin. Yoosung caught a faint whiff of vanilla and something flowery as she brushed past.

He just nodded and dropped his gaze.

After rescuing the cake from its tin, the awkwardness in the air seemed to dissipate. The cake held together, set aside to cool, and filled the air with its warm, heavenly scent.

"I can't wait to try it," she said. "I've never made a Christmas cake before."

"Me neither," Yoosung admitted.

A small smile flittered to her lips. "What did you do last Christmas Eve?"

Yoosung's expression dropped. He sighed dejectedly and cupped his face in his hands. "It was awful! I made the mistake of going outside…"

She gave a dry, understanding laugh. "There were couple's everywhere, huh?"

Yoosung nodded and grumbled through his hands. "I've never felt so lonely! It was the worst!"

"Well, I'm here," she said, drawing Yoosung from his hands. "So, it's an improvement on last year!"

A tight blush made its home on Yoosung's cheeks. She was smiling up at him, brightly, caringly, in his kitchen, his apartment, on Christmas Eve. They were alone, the evening drawing to a close, Christmas drawing closer with every minute.

Of course this kind of situation would make him exited. Eager. Nervous.

He swallowed.

"If you were dating someone," she asked, and drummed her fingers absently on the kitchen counter, "how would you spend Christmas Eve?"

"Oh!" her question jolted him from his thoughts. "I'd – uh – spend the day with them. Eating sweets and cooking Christmas cake–" That was a mistake. The hot flush doubled in intensity on his cheeks. "W-We'd go for walks and hold hands and…" Stop. Stop, stop, stop. "Y-You know, just couple things."

God. Could he have made it any more obvious?

He wished the kitchen floor would swallow him up right now.

"Hmm," she sounded, Yoosung feeling the very note in his chest. "That sounds really nice, actually." She peered out the window. "Do you want to go for a walk?"

He froze. Her suggestion hung in the air. Was there a subtle hint in her words, or was that his mind talking? His mouth dropped open, clamped shut, and opened again.

"Y-Yes!" he chimed, possibly a little too quickly, possible a little too loud. "A walk would be nice."

Her smile brightened the room and dampened the anxiety coursing through him. "Great! Let me grab my jacket, then." She trotted over to the couch, where her jacket and bag lay. She tugged it on and met Yoosung by the front door with a smile. "Let's go."

The frosty outside air embraced them with a jolt. Their breaths plumed in the air as they headed down the street, following the flickering Christmas lights and glowing decorations. Despite being near midnight, the streets were far from empty. Yoosung let his gaze wander, following a couple holding hands in front of them. His fingers flexed by his side. Cold, numb, and empty.

He tugged the sleeves of his jacket down further.

"I've heard they've put up a huge Christmas tree nearby," she said, before exhaling a deep, puff of air. "Why don't we go see it?"

"Sure!" Yoosung chimed, dragging his eyes from the nearby couple. He hoped she hadn't seen him gazing off at them whimsically, longingly.

God. He hoped he didn't look desperate.

They headed off down the street as a Yoosung rubbed his hands together. He drew them to his face, exhaling hot air at his frosted fingers.

"Are your fingers cold?" she asked. She eyed him curiously, tilted her head on an angle that Yoosung could only find absolutely adorable.

He laughed awkwardly, wishing to hide his blush behind his hands. "Just a bit," he said. "My gloves have holes in them. I think Lisa liked them too much." He sighed. It was a mistake leaving his gloves out. His cat made a mess of them the instant they were in her sights.

"Do you want to use mine?" she asked and held up her hands, snuggly fit in two thick, woollen gloves.

"Then your hands will be cold!" Yoosung said, shaking his head.

"It's fine."

"No, it's not." He drew himself up, drew his hands from his face and to his sides. "I can't take your gloves. It's the guy who's supposed to share things." Not that they were dating. Not he minded the idea of sharing anything with her.

"Then, let's do this." She took off her left glove and held it out to him with a smile. "Put it on."

Curious, Yoosung took her glove and slipped it on his left hand. The instant his left hand was snug inside the glove, warm fingers entwined with his right. He jolted, the warmth spreading, coursing like lightning through his body. She'd taken his hand.

He couldn't breathe. Couldn't see anything but her hand in his.

"There," she said with a smile. "Now we're both warm."

He wanted to scream and cry and disappear all at once. He was so happy, so elated, so obviously in love with her. No response found its way to his lips. No words fell on his tongue. He just nodded. Pretended that he wasn't focusing on the feel of her fingers in his. Pretended that he wasn't trying to imprint this memory into his mind.

He found it hard to focus on anything but her. Anything but how close they were walking, now hand-in-hand, among a sea of couples. Anyone who saw them would think they were dating. That's what they looked like. A couple.

He was too warm. His heart was pounding too hard. Fluttering in his chest, stammering whenever he felt a slight pull on his fingers as they walked. It was a dream come true. Walking with her, holding hands, on Christmas Eve. Almost as if… almost as if they were a real couple, and not just friends.

Not just friends.

"Wow!" she gasped in awe as they turned down the next street. Her eyes flew up the towering Christmas tree, covered in huge shiny baubles and sparkling lights. The street beneath it was littered with couples, admiring the lights, hugging, talking, laughing.

Kissing.

Yoosung found himself tugged along as she drew closer to the tree. He was more than content to watch her, to see the childish joy on her face, to see the way her eyes lit up as brightly as the Christmas lights. She turned to him with a smile, one that stole his breath away.

He was speechless.

Speechless and hopelessly in love.

Then, her hand was gone. She dug in her bag for something as Yoosung flexed his bare fingers, rubbed off the sweat awkwardly on his pants. He hoped his nervousness hadn't shown. He hoped the sweat didn't gross her out. Hoped she hadn't noticed, hoped that she would stay oblivious.

But, honestly, he hoped she would look at him. Really, really look at him.

He wished she would look at him the way she looked at the Christmas tree.

She pulled out a small, neatly wrapped present and held it out to Yoosung. He blinked down at it, up at her, then at the present.

"It's a bit early," she said, with an embarrassed smile. "But Merry Christmas, Yoosung."

"What? It's for me?" he gaped and accepted the present. It sat in his hands, solid, real, but he couldn't believe it. "Can… can I open it?"

She laughed. That sweet, short laugh that sent his heart soaring. Fluttering. "Of course."

Instead of wasting no time tearing into the wrapping paper, Yoosung peeled at the tape holding it together. He didn't want to destroy the precious, neat wrapping she'd gone to effort to put in place.

"You can just tear it open," she said with another laugh.

Yoosung flushed. "No, I won't. Not when you put so much work into it for me."

That made her pause. Her gaze dropped to her feet. "It… it's not that big of a deal…"

Slowly, finally, Yoosung managed to unwrap the present. It was a new computer mouse, sleek and black, made specifically for gamers. It had various buttons on the side for quick commands.

"I hope you like it," she said. "You said you were getting frustrated with your old mouse, so…"

"Y-Yes! I like it!" Yoosung blurted. "I really like it. I love it!" He flipped the box over in his hands, studying it, turning it, before beaming a smile up at her. "Thank you, thank you, thank you! This is the best!"

She breathed a short sigh of relief. "That's great. I wasn't sure if you'd like it, or if you'd already gotten yourself a replacement, or if it was the wrong colour… they have it in red, too? Or blue? I think there are ones that light up as well–"

"It's perfect!" he cut off her rambling and shook his head. "And you got it for me. So, it, uh, makes me really happy."

"Right."

"I like it."

"Okay." She pursed her lips together, before they pulled up into a smile. "Merry Christmas, Yoosung," she said again.

"I – I have something for you, too," he said quickly. "But it's at home. I was going to give it to you tomorrow, or when you left…"

"Any time's fine," she said and shrugged. "I could… come by tomorrow and you can give it to me then, if you want."

"Tomorrow?"

She cast her eyes away for a breath. "Or when we get back. Either. I mean, if you're busy tomorrow…"

Tomorrow. Was… was this her way of inviting herself over? Did she want to spend tomorrow with him?

"Tomorrow's fine!" Yoosung said quickly. "I can… I can give it to you tomorrow."

Through her nervousness, she smiled back at him. Whether it was the cold or her own embarrassment that dusted her cheeks red, or something more, Yoosung didn't care. His own were flaming red. And he knew that wasn't the cold.

She laughed, breathy and light, in the air of nerves around them. It drew a smile to his face, and then a chuckle, before they settled into a comfortable silence. Silence surrounded by noise, surrounded by couples.

Their eyes had met; Yoosung held her gaze. Something had lit aflame inside him. Something that had been building all day, building since the day they'd met in person. Since the day he'd heard her voice. It built and built until it was there on his tongue.

He would say it. Right now. Tell her everything he'd wanted to for such a long time.

"Um, y-you know," he coughed, cleared his throat. It was now or never. "I really, really li–"

Shouts of surprise, squeals of delight, swallowed his confession. Small beads of white fell around them, dancing, falling through the air. Yoosung looked back at her, to see her eyes drawing up, away from him, away from their moment.

"It's snowing!" she gasped. She held up her hands, one gloved, the other bare. Snowflakes dipped in the air and kissed her fingertips, dusted her hair. She twirled, catching the snowflakes, studying their paths through the air.

Yoosung clenched his fingers beside him. He held them tight, swallowed tight, then relaxed. He breathed a long, drawn out puff of air.

"It's going to be a white Christmas," Yoosung said. He grinned at her, she returned the smile. That was good enough for him. She was smiling. Happy. And he wanted her to stay that way.

He didn't want his confession to trouble her.

They talked, enjoyed the snowfall, under the tree for some time. Minutes passed like seconds in their laughter, in their conversation.

Soon, she held out her un-gloved hand to him. "Come on," she said. "Let's head back before we freeze."

"I'll… I'll walk you home," he said. "We can ice the Christmas cake tomorrow."

"Okay," she said.

Yoosung straightened, swallowed the jolt that coursed through him as he took her hand. Her fingers settled in his, and gave his a gentle squeeze. He pressed his lips together, fighting back a giddy smile, fighting the blush burning on his cheeks.

He returned the squeeze. A second passed, a few steps, then she squeezed his hand. He did the same. She laughed into her other hand, and bumped him lightly with her shoulder. He glanced at her curiously, to see her grinning. There was a spark in her eyes. A knowing spark, one of elation.

It sent his mind spinning. His heart fluttering.

God. He wouldn't be able to take more of this. And he didn't even know what he'd done!

Yoosung's phone chimed in his pocket, so he dug it out with his gloved hand. Struggling, he managed to input his pin code to see that Seven had sent a message.

Four words.

You'll thank me later.

A single winky-faced emoji ended the curious text. Yoosung frowned at it.

"Who's it from?" she asked as he stuffed his phone back into his pocket.

"Seven. Just another weird text."

She laughed. "Does he send you them often?"

"Always!" Yoosung groaned. "And he's always teasing me!"

"Like the chocolate milk incident?"

Another groan. "Don't remind me! I still have to get him back! I can't drink chocolate milk without feeling sick because of it!"

"You'll think of something," she said, giving his hand another squeeze.

He doubted that. Especially because his mind was trying to work through what Seven's text meant.

Slowly, they meandered through the streets, neither too desperate to cut their walk short. The night air was cool and calm, not cold enough to be of bother.

Truthfully, Yoosung didn't want this night to end. He didn't want to let go of her hand. He didn't want to say goodbye to her, even though he'd see her tomorrow. Even though they were always a phone call away.

He wanted her to stay. He wanted to pull her into his arms, to tell her everything.

But he'd already tried that once tonight, and that was enough. For now.

Too quickly for Yoosung's liking, they arrived outside her apartment. It wasn't too far from his, after she moved from Rika's place following the RFA party. They stepped up to the door. Her hand dropped from his.

Yoosung fumbled with her glove on his left hand. He tugged it off and handed it to her. "Thanks," he said, quieter than he wished.

She smiled. "Anytime." She fished her key from her handbag and unlocked the door with a click that fell flat in the silence. She pushed the door open a crack, revealing a sliver of darkness, before she paused. Her eyes flicked up, as if towards the roof, before she turned quickly to Yoosung.

"Thank you for tonight," she said. Her wide, grinning smile from before had faded into a gentle, albeit embarrassed, one. "I'll come over tomorrow? Around noon?"

Yoosung nodded. "Okay. I'll be looking forward to it. I get to eat Christmas cake with you." He smiled and breathed an embarrassed laugh.

"I'll see you tomorrow, then."

She looked up at him, pausing for a second, as if thoughts were ticking over in her mind, and smiled. With a quick step, she closed the gap between them. She rose on balls of her feet, suddenly close, so close, that her breath tickled his cheek. She pressed a curt kiss to his cheek and stepped back.

"Goodnight, Yoosung." She flashed a bright smile at him before disappearing into her apartment. Only when the door clicked shut behind her did Yoosung snap alert.

He staggered back a step. Two steps. Heat flushed his face, his neck, his ears. A hand cupped his face, felt the burning heat of his flush, touched the cheek she'd kissed.

Kissed.

She'd kissed him.

His heart thundered as if he'd been sprinting. His mind spun and spun and spun and all he could think of was the feel of her lips against his cheek. The sweet, vanilla scent that reached him as she stepped so close.

He backed up a final scent before something green caught his eyes above her door. There it sat, up high, at the very top of the door. A mistletoe.

That's what she'd seen. That's why she paused. That's why she kissed him.

Yoosung didn't know whether to be elated or dejected. He didn't know whether to curse Seven or praise him.

All he knew is that she'd kissed him. She'd held his hand. She'd spent Christmas Eve with him. And tomorrow, they'd spend Christmas together.

And maybe, just maybe, that was enough for him.

I love Yoosung so much. His ending on the christmas DLC gave me so many feels I didn't know what to do with them all.