Lily was numb. She couldn't feel anything. How could this have happened? Her father was still young, well, too young for this to have happened anyway. There was nothing she could do, she couldn't even get out of the castle to send her reply until morning and yet she couldn't sleep. How could she when she knew she would never see her father again, when she didn't even get to say goodbye. But she didn't cry. Why, she wasn't sure. Perhaps the shock had stopped her from being able to do so or maybe there was something wrong with her but she didn't.

She buried herself beneath the blankets of her bed and laid there trying to get some sleep until she was sure that the other girls were fully asleep before she crept out, down the stairs and to the common room where she paused. It was quieter than it had been when she'd gone up to bed, but there were still a few people sat on the chairs, talking. Lily could feel the breakdown that she'd been holding back coming and didn't feel like doing it in front of the fifth years who were studying for their exams, so she snuck out.

Lily had spent enough time with the marauders that she knew most of the more secretive routes around the castle so that she wouldn't get caught by Filch or, worse, Mrs Norris. She knew that if she walked out of the common room and straight down the stairs, she would come to the painting of the Hogwarts grounds at night, and behind it was a small staircase that led up to the astronomy tower, which Lily knew would be deserted today as there were no lessons.

Up at the top of the tower, Lily moved out onto the balcony where they would normally set up their telescopes and leaned against the cold brick wall of the tower. Whilst it wasn't warm, it wasn't too cold either (although Lily really wished she'd brought a blanket when the wind began whipping her long hair around her face). Tears began falling down Lily's face and once they started, they didn't stop. It didn't feel real. How could her father be in a different world entirely from her? How could he not be the one that would pick her up when she went home for the summer? Would home still feel like home without him there?

Lily pulled her knees into her chest and wrapped her arms around them and burying her head between them. Maybe I'll wake up and this will all have been a dream, she thought, all just some horrible dream. Alas, there's no waking from reality so, try as she might, she couldn't do it. There was no way to erase that letter that was under her pillow, just a few floors below. There was no bringing her father back to life.

She wasn't sure how long she sat there, or if she'd fallen asleep, but the next time she opened her eyes, the sun was just beginning to rise, putting a faint amber glow over the landscape. She stood up, her swollen eyes hurting a little, and looked over the brick wall that surrounded the tower. The grounds were deserted, as they should be that early in the morning. Lily had hoped to see James, Sirius, and Peter coming up the hill back to the castle but it was no surprise that she couldn't see them. They were probably back at the tower now, and if not then they would be under the invisibility cloak.

"Lily?" She jumped and turned at the sound of her boyfriend's voice, concern was spread all over his face. Without even thinking about it, she fell into his arms and began sobbing. "What's wrong? What are you doing up here?"

"It. It's my dad." She sobbed, "he died yesterday, my mum sent me a letter last night." James held her tighter.

"Lil. I'm so sorry. Is there anything I can do?" She shook her head.

"Will you just sit with me for a while?" She looked up into his eyes and he smiled sadly.

"Of course." And he did. The pair sat out on the balcony of the Astronomy tower for hours, watching as the sun rose higher in the sky. They said nothing – there was nothing to be said – they just sat in silence, both happy just to be together.

Lily's head was on James' chest and her eyes slowly fluttered shut. James smiled as he looked down at her, asleep in his arms. He knew that any sleep she would have gotten the night before wouldn't have been very good, nor likely for very long, so he was glad that she was relaxed enough with him to sleep. It seemed crazy to him that less than a year ago she could barely stand to be in the same room with him for more than a few minutes. They say that there's a thin line between love and hate, apparently that was true for Lily's relationship with James. He hoped it would never go the other way, but it was different for James. He hadn't walked that fine line, never had he hated Lily. Sure, there'd been times when he was angry, upset, or cross with her, but he'd never even disliked her.

James said nothing when he looked at his watch to see that first lesson was starting. Lily wasn't in the right state of mind to go to lesson, and no one would think it odd that he hadn't gone – especially since chances were that Sirius, Peter and Remus wouldn't be going either. In fact, he found himself slowly falling asleep beside her, and covered them in the invisibility cloak to keep them warm and free from interruption.

By the time they opened their eyes again, the sun was high in the sky, basking the scenery and the couple in a warm yellow glow. James felt Lily stir beside him as the pair woke up together.

"What time is it?" She asked sleepily. James looked at his watch.

"Just gone twelve, shall we go down for some lunch?" He asked.

"I can't believe I slept through all of my morning lessons. If we go and get some lunch now then we can make it to Charms this afternoon and I'll go see my teachers before dinner." She stood up, taking the cloak off them and shook it out. She handed it back to James as he stood beside her, all folded neatly for James to put back in his bag.

"Do you actually think you could have handled lessons this morning? And can you handle them now?" James asked her, throwing an arm around her shoulders. Lily shrugged.

"I don't know. I feel a little better now, numb, but still." Lily turned into his embrace and placed her hands on his neck. "Thank you for looking out for me, you're always there when I need you, even when I think I've hidden." She said softly against his lips before kissing them lightly. "I love you so much."

"I love you more, Lily. And I will always find you, even if you think you have concealed yourself from everyone forever… you'll find me right beside you." He kissed her again, long and deep. She could almost feel his love leave his soul and enter her own.

"If I find a way, will you come with me to the funeral next week?" Lily asked, though it was pointless, they both already knew the answer to the question.

"Of course. And if you can't find a way then I will get you there, even if it means flying all the way on my broomstick." He smiled and wiped away the few tears that had crept out of Lily's eyes. "Come on." He said, taking her hand. "I bet lunch is good today."

I know! I'm sorry! It's another short-ish chapter after far too long! But, the good news is, that I've finished my university course for the year! I have a placement after Easter but I will do my best to update ALL of my stories as much as possible. Hope you enjoyed this chapter – please drop me a review either way and let me know what you want/hate – and I'll see you all next time – chescaannie xx