Thanks to all who reviewed! Now, let's get under way with the next episode!
Cue the theme!
...
Well he won't notice if I just take one...or maybe two- Oh hell he's back!
Right mate?
Right Mr Starr. Go ahead!
Hey, two of me special brownies are missing! Oh well.
...
One night, Henry and Gordon were alone with James. It's not as bad as it sounds.
Edward had lucked out significantly over the past two nights in that Thomas was needing a hand moving some of his stuff into his new shed at Ffarquhar. Said stuff had included all off his old Playdriver magazines, his disco ball, and several trucks that were hooded over and he was specifically told not to look underneath. By the time they had shifted as much as they could in the day, it was too late to come back so they just slept there. Edward enjoyed it, especially because that meant he could be justified in leaving the rest of the yard in a mess for once.
James, on the other hand, was having a pretty bad time. Although the Fat Controller was beginning to think well of him (Relatively) whenever the chance came they would talk of nothing but bootlaces.
Now you would find that hard to understand considering that there are limited ways that bootlaces can come up in conversations, but mostly it involved talking about licorice and people tripping over.
"Remember the time that one of those had to used to get you out of trouble James?" asked Henry innocently on this particular night.
"YES HENRY." James growled out. "I WAS THERE."
James tried to get his own back by talking about engines getting shut up in tunnels or stuck on hills, but he was the target of the month for the bigger engines, so this didn't stop any time soon.
"You talk too much little James." said Gordon.
This stunned James speechless, for this was literally like the pot walking up to the kettle, slamming" his handle into the sprout and telling him off for being black.
"A fine strong engine like me always has something to talk about."
"Isn't that true." muttered James under his breath as he glared at their drivers, who were each trying to warm their hands.
"I'm the only engine who can pull the express, when I'm not there they need TWO engines. Think of that!"
"So what about me?"
"Shut up Henry. I've pulled expresses for years and have never once lost my way!" Gordon had never been re-baptized. "I seem to know the right line by instinct!"
Every wise engine knows of course of two things, one, you never say this aloud because it will more than likely lead to you messing up, and two, the signalman works the points to make the engines run on the right line. But Gordon was so proud he had forgotten.
...
After finally getting to sleep when Gordon's lecture had sent him off, James awoke to find Thomas back again for the rest of his stuff, and for several workmen gathering around and helping the engines ready.
"Too early." he moaned.
"Wake up James!" said Gordon, who was being annoyingly smug. "It's time for the express! What are you doing? Odd jobs? Ah well, we all have to begin somewhere don't we."
James was about to instruct Gordon on just where he would shove his oddjobs when the big blue engine blustered on. "Run along now and fetch my coaches."
"You'll end up in a shallow grave somewhere." muttered James as he headed off to fetch the coaches.
...
Their coats glistening, they were all shiny and new, and James was careful not to bump them and they followed him smoothly into the station, singing happily "We're going away we're going away!" It was their last journey before they could take a break and go to a coach spa. It was held at the Steamworks.
"I wish I was going with you." said James. He really wanted that spa treatment. "I should love to pull the express and go flying down the line."
"JAMES, LESS CHATTERING MORE COUPLING!" Gordon, with much noise and blowing both of steam and his own trumpet, prepared to back down upon the train. The Fat Controller was on the train with many other important people (Not enough to note their names, but important none the less), and as soon as they heard the guard's whistle, Gordon started off. "Look at me now! Look at me now!"
"I'm looking, don't like what I see." snipped James.
The coaches glided after him
"Poop poop poop poop! Goodbye little James! See you tomorrow!"
"Thank god for that." James muttered, and he watched until the train disappeared, and then went back to work. He pushed some trucks into their proper place and went to fetch the coaches for another train.
On the way, he passed Marklin. "Hiya!
"Ich stehe auf und toten Sie einter von diesen Tagen!" raged Marklin.
"Same to you mate!"
James had just brought the coaches to the platform when he heard a mournful noise. It sounded like frustration mingled with despair and a good bit of creeping thrown on for good measure. He glanced and sure enough, there was Gordon trying to sidle into the station without being noticed.
James waited for a good minute or so, waited until Gordon had just about slowly come to a stop and then cheerfully said "Hello Gordon! Is it tomorrow already?"
Gordon jumped, and glared with a expression that indicated that if he was one day going to end up in a shallow grave, James was going to end up next to him. He let off steam feebly.
"Did you lose your way Gordon?" said James.
"NO!" raged Gordon, who took a deep breath and calmed down. "It was lost for me. I was switched off the main line and onto the loop. I had to go all round and back again."
"Perhaps it was...instinct?" James suggested innocently.
Gordon's expression told a very dark and malignant story.
...
Meanwhile, all the passengers hurried to the booking office, holding makeshift pitchforks and torches. "WE WANT OUR MONEY BACK!" They howled, and one even threw a brick at the nearest person.
Nearest person was the Fat Controller, who rubbed his head and thanked god that his new top hat had taken the brunt of the blow. "That's the fourth hat in a year!" He hissed angrily.
He climbed on the trolley and blew the guards whistle so loudly that they all stopped to look at him. Then he promised them a new train at once, and then abdicated the trolley for fear that he resembled a antelope at a lion convention. "Gordon can't do it!" He said. "Will you pull it for us James?!"
"Yes sir, I'll try."
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-"
...
As soon as Gordon was quietened (Read: Slapped) James was coupled on and everyone got in.
"Do your best James!" shouted the Fat Controller. "Or I'll kill you." he added softer.
"Come on come on!" puffed James as he headed off.
"You're pulling us well! You're pulling us well!" added the coaches.
"Don't sound so bloody surprised!" James snapped back.
...
Bridges and stations flashed by, the passengers cheered (This was mostly because someone had handed out free drugs but James thought it was for him and who will really correct him?) and they soon reached the final station.
Yep. Pretty much it.
Everyone said thank you to James, and the Fat Controller was very impressed. By how clean the station was, not by James, though that wasn't too bad.
"Well done." he said. "Would you like to pull the express again some times?"
"Yes please!" answered James, his eyes whirling like a spinning top.
"Okay, don't go over the top."
...
The next morning, when James came by after a long drink, he saw Gordon pushing trucks.
"I like this quiet work for a change." Gordon mused. "I'm teaching these trucks some manners, I heard you pulled the express well yesterday." He smiled, genuinely happy this time and whispered conspiratally. "Good, we'll show them." His eyes widened. "HEY! YOU!" And he gave his trucks a bump.
This was the best Gordon was going to do apology wise, so James accepted it.
James and Gordon are now good friends. James takes the express sometimes, Gordon never mentions bootlaces (Henry is another matter) and they are both agreed on the subject of trucks.
...
"Well, that's the last of it." Thomas said as he left his berth at Tidmouth Sheds. He looked at the other four engines. "Welp! See you guys around, I guess!" He puffed off into the distance.
"Aaaaah." Henry sighed in relief. "No more Thomas."
"Yep!" James enthused. "Just us four tender engines with our mature discussions."
"No more angry moaning about his desire to actually do something with his life." Henry smirked.
"No more random hacking coughs from those nasty cigarettes." added James.
"No more of his relentlessly annoying shunting around of trucks and coaches to all the wrong places." agreed Gordon.
There was silence for a moment.
Edward turned to the other engines. "Well this sucks."
The other three had to agree.