Dr. Jack Hodgins hesitated in the office doorway for a few seconds, wondering if his colleague would be in the mood to talk to him. It had only been a week since Max Keenan's funeral, and he knew Brennan was trying to lose herself in her work so she could avoid facing her feelings about her father's death. Normally, Hodgins would've stayed out of her way as she worked through something emotional like that, but this time it was different. This time she had hidden herself away from everyone who cared for her, and, as he knew from his own recent history, that didn't make things any better. It seemed to him that the only way for her to heal was going to be to expose her painful wound to the light of day. It would be risky, invading her privacy like this, but she'd done the same thing for him several months ago, after he'd first been injured in the explosion, and now it was time to return the favor. After taking a deep breath to steady his nerves, he cleared his throat slightly. "Um, Dr. Brennan? Do you have a minute?"
Shaking her head as she studied the file on her computer, Brennan dismissed him without even a cursory glance. "No, I don't have a minute. I'm quite busy, Dr. Hodgins. Please leave me alone so I can continue with the process of identifying these remains. I need to finish this report so the Department of Defense can return this soldier to his family."
"Those remains are from World War I, Brennan. I think they can wait for a few more minutes." Hodgins wheeled himself into her office. "I'm asking for a favor as your friend. Please?"
She turned to glare at him coldly. "I suppose I can give you five minutes as long as you promise to be concise."
"I don't know if I can actually promise that." Shrugging as he stared at his toes, Hodgins continued softly. "I want to talk to you about Max. I need you to help me as I grieve for him."
A weaker man might have collapsed under Brennan's withering disapproval, but Hodgins was resolute. He knew what had to be done to help his friend move toward getting over her grief. "I really haven't gotten to talk to you since his funeral, and I want to tell you how much I respected your father as a scientist."
"So you've said many times. Now, if you'll excuse me, Hodgins, I need to get back to work." Brennan turned back to her computer and accessed a different file, trying to ignore him.
"No, you need to listen to me, Brennan." Hodgins crossed his arms over his chest, refusing to be turned away. "I'm your friend, and I want to talk about something. As my friend, it's your responsibility to listen to what I have to say, because you care about me, right?"
Obviously surprised by his refusal to leave, she nodded slowly as she thought through what he'd said. "I do care about you, Jack, but…"
"Good. So here's what I want to say." He moved his wheelchair so that it was directly in front of her desk. "I know Max wasn't perfect. In fact, he was far from it, just like I am. But I'll tell you one thing, Brennan...he was a helluva good scientist. Remember that case we had several years ago with those bones that were found in the tree? The case with the Special Forces guy who was a nanny for those kids, and the little girl shot him?"
"I remember." Sighing softly, she nodded as she reminisced about the wind tunnel Hodgins and Wendell had built to demonstrate how the bones had blown into a tree. "I also remember being quite angry because you had allowed a felon to take part in an experiment that was related to our murder case. His mere presence in the lab could've corrupted the evidence and that would've cost Booth a conviction."
"Well, just to be concise, since that's what you've requested, Max helped design the experiment but he did not take part in its implementation." Hodgins smirked at Brennan's obvious irritation. "Anyway, that's not the point. The point is that your father had a gift, you know? He had the mind of an exceptional scientist, but he was able to use that gift to teach others to love science as well. He reminded me how much fun it was to solve problems in different ways just to see if we could do it, and that's part of why I wanted to be a scientist in the first place. He was a very creative man…"
"As indicated by the way he manipulated facts if he thought it was necessary to serve his purpose." Brennan grimaced slightly as she remembered the last discussion she'd had with her father when he'd told her about his newly implanted pacemaker. She turned back to her monitor, hoping to end this discussion with Hodgins. "I need to finish this report, Jack…"
"I know. I'm almost done with what I need to say, and then I'll leave you alone." He paused, waiting for her to realize that he wasn't leaving immediately. "Max used his gift to help you, too, didn't he? He was an exceptional teacher, inspiring lots of kids to become scientists. He had that group of kids he taught at the Jeffersonian, remember? And I imagine he loved teaching you about science when you were young, inspiring you to be a scientist, too."
"Yes, he enjoyed mentoring that group of children tremendously. Max also enjoyed demonstrating various science experiments for Parker and Christine." Brennan couldn't help but smile as she remembered Parker causing the huge cola explosion with the candy in the two liter bottle. "He loved teaching Parker and Christine about the wonders of the world…"
"And he passed that love onto you as well, Brennan. You have the same sort of gift he had, although it might be packaged a different way. You're not only a world renowned forensic anthropologist right? You're also a gifted teacher. Think about how many interns you've helped to begin their careers in forensics…"
"Perhaps." Brennan's brow furrowed as she considered Hodgins' statement. "However, I fail to understand why you're bringing this up now…"
"I'm bringing it up now because I know how much it hurts to lose someone who meant so much to you." He shook off her protests and continued. "My dad died several years ago, and I still miss his tall tales and corny jokes. Those things made me who I am now. Like it or not, Dr. B, Max loved you, and he had a lot of influence on your life, both good and bad, and there's no way to deny that. What happened to him was horrible, and I'm so sorry things worked out that way, but maybe instead of dwelling on the past, and on the bad things you can't control, you should think about how much good Max ended up doing. After all, his influence over your life has led to you using your talents to bring justice for people who wouldn't otherwise have it. Don't you think that's worth celebrating?"
Blinking back her tears as she stared at her desk, Brennan nodded. "My father loved teaching. He loved answering my questions, too." She hesitated, brushing away a tear. "One afternoon we drove all over town looking for the end of a rainbow." Chuckling softly, she smiled at Hodgins. "I wasn't looking for the pot of gold. I wanted to know how the rainbow could be in the sky without touching the earth. My father helped me figure out what was really going on by talking me through it as we searched for the rainbow." Brenan sniffled as she leaned back in her chair. "That's part of why it hurt so much when he left Russ and me. I missed learning things from him...my science teachers at school never went into enough depth to satisfy my need to learn new things, and Max wasn't around to provide the extra layer of information I needed. I was so angry with him...and then seeing him working there in the Jeffersonian, helping other children learn...I think I was jealous because I felt that they were getting something I'd missed out on." She shook her head as she gazed at Hodgins. "That's irrational, isn't it"
"Maybe, but as we both know, feelings aren't rational." Hodgins reached across the desk to pat Brennan's hand. "Those irrational feelings are gonna creep up on you from time to time, and you're probably gonna be angry that you're missing time with Max. My advice? Cherish what time you had with him, okay? Don't let grief take that time from you. And then later, when you're able, you can share that time you spent with your father with your own kids, okay? It'll be like passing on a legacy."
Rubbing her eyes, Brennan spoke softly. "Max was one of the few people in the world who accepted just as I am. I know that Booth, and you and Angela have always been accepting of me, Hodgins, but now there's one less person…" She clenched her jaw as she turned back to her computer. "I need to get back to work..."
"You're right. We all love you just the way you are, okay? So let us help you get over your loss. You don't have to grieve by yourself, you know? We all want to share that burden if you'll let us." Feeling as if Brennan was shutting him out again, Hodgins shrugged as he turned his wheelchair toward the office door. "That's all I wanted to say. I'll see you later."
"See you later." Brennan watched Hodgins as he moved to leave her office. "And Jack? I appreciate your help…"
Turning back to her, he smiled. "Anytime, Brennan. That's what friends are for."
