Thanks to RosieAngelina for reviewing!
And cue the theme!
...
Come on then!
Man, why are you so stressed?
I HAD A PRETTY ROUGH DAY NEGOTIATING. THERE'S A RIOT OVER THERE. Would you like to find out how bad!?
Noooo.
...
It was just another day at Knapford Station. There were coaches ready to be taken, porters and workmen hurrying to and from various different places, smashed bottles being thrown about, an angry mob-
Wait.
Of course, today wasn't just another day at Knapford Station. Sir Topham Hatt was sitting in his office (His reinforced office, he noted once more, thanking that he had had the sense to steal his ex-wife's plan for a fallout shelter) listening to the noise outside. The passengers were angry. This was a mild understatement. Several porters and workmen had vanished off in the direction of the signal box to avoid being crushed by the large clock that the passengers had ripped down.
The stationmaster, having been attacked, did not so much walk in as stumble. Mr Carlin followed with a large cloth to wipe the blood from his temple. The stationmaster staggered up, opened his mouth and fell arse over teakettle into the sofa.
"Ah. Off to a good start." said Hatt. The hapless Stationmaster stood up, and saluted what he believed to be the Fat Controller, but was actually a hatstand.
"Trouble in the shed, sire! Henry's sulking-"
"Nothing new then."
"-there are no trains, and the passengers are saying a lot of things. Mostly that this is a bad railway."
Carlin grunted. "The blue **** and the red ***** are sulking as well!"
"Indeed!" said the Fat Controller, grabbing the hat stand from the confused Stationmaster and jamming his hat on his head. "We can't have that." He looked around. "I think there's a back way."
...
He found Gordon, Henry and James looking very cross. So business as usual. Flanked by his two bodyguards, the Controller strode over from the car. "Come along Henry! Train time!
Henry gave him a disgusted glance, then looked over to Gordon. Clearly the ring-leader.
"Henry's not going." said Gordon gravely.
"Well no, I'm not selling him!" Topham laughed at his own joke, no one else did and he soon shut up.
"We won't shunt like common tank engines. Or Edward, for that matter. That was Thomas's job, but we are important tender engines! You fetch our coaches, and we will pull them."
"Not literally." added James. "I mean, you've got really stubby arms."
"Tender engines don't shunt!"
For a moment, Sir Topham stood there and merely looked at the three engines. James, looking arrogantly out. Henry, ill but sullenly determined. And Gordon, proudly leading. It did not enter into Sir Topham Hatt's mind until that very moment how much they needed more engines. Without them, the railway would most likely start to become a very sour place to live.
"Oh?" He said. "Indeed? We'll see about that." Henry swallowed at the tone of his voice. "Engines on my railway do as they are told!"
"No they're not!" cackled James, who was shut up by the glare from the Fat Controller. Hatt got into his car, and the two bodyguards watched as he drove away. To himself, he sighed.
"The yard has never been the same since Thomas left to run his branchline." he said sadly.
And then he hit a goat.
...
Edward pushed some trucks into the corner, and was just thinking of shunting a bit more when the Fat Controller, his car grill covered in goat, drove up.
"Leave those trucks please Edward. I'd like it if you pushed coaches in the yard. The three stooges have gone on strike."
Edward shrugged. "Thank you sir? That will be nice."
"Good engine! Off you go!" Hatt turned back and sighed at the mess on his car. "This isn't going to look good."
So Edward found coaches for the three engines, and that day, after the riot squad had beaten the resistance out of the more rowdy passengers, the trains ran smoothly. Sure, there were one or two dirty looks from both Gordon and Henry to Edward, but he was used to that.
...
The next day however, as Sir Topham walked over to Tidmouth to check on the progress, he saw Edward looking weary and unhappy. He was just about to ask his number 2 why so glum, when Gordon stormed past, contemptuously glaring at Edward and hissing steam in his face rudely.
"Bless me!" said Sir Topham Hatt, who felt the steam was going to make him sneeze. "What a noise!"
Edward, faced covered with ashes, coughed and moaned aloud. "They've been doing that all night sir!" he wailed, suddenly feeling his age and how lonely he was. "They say tender engines don't shunt! And last night, they said I had black wheels! They say I can't come in the shed any more!" Edward looked so depressed that even Hatt couldn't insult him. "I haven't, have I? James has black wheels too!"
"I know Edward, No. You've got nice blue ones and I'm proud of you. Tender engines do and will shunt!" He sat down at the little workman's shed near Edward. "All the same though, we do need another tank engine."
"There's Marklin."
"Yes, well...I have my suspicions about that one."
Marklin, listening discretely, frowned and drove away silently. He was aware that he was going to be on thin ice indeed if they found out what he had been up to, and so he began making plans to escape.
...
"Ere you are sir!" said Honest Jim, salesman and part time scrap collector. "Ere's the best selection of engines you can ave!"
"They just look like the engines I've already got under sheets."
"Ah heh. Funny you should mention that." said Honest Jim, who had managed cloning before Dolly the Sheep was even a lamb.
Sir Topham looked at all the different sized engines. He paused, and then whipped the tarpaulin off one of them. And at last, he saw a smart little green engine with four wheels and a infectious grin. That's the one, he thought. "If I were to choose you." he said. "Would you work hard?"
"Like a dog, sir!" enthused the engine.
"That's a good engine. I shall call you...Steve!" Jim shook his head. "Fine. I'll call you Percy."
"Yes sir, thank you sir, three bags full sir!" said Percy, cheekily. The Fat Controller got on him and rode him back to the sheds.
...
Edward stared in surprise as a little green tank engine pulled up. "Uh? Hello?"
"Edward." said Sir Topham Hatt. "This is Percy. Will you show him everything?"
"What, even the supply of magaz-"
"NO. NOT THAT." Edward shrugged, and led Percy over. The two suddenly started chatting rather animatedly, much to Marklin's horror. He rushed over and whispered something to Henry. Sir Topham walked over to the three engines and smirked.
"Gordon, Henry, James, let me introduce Sodor's Number Six. Percy." He grinned. "Oh, and get comfy."
"What did he mean by that?" James asked baffled. Gordon shrugged.
Percy was a quick learner of what he had to do, and both engines spent a happy afternoon just shunting everything back into order again.
"I don't know how the yard gets so dirty." muttered Edward. "Especially because-" and here he slipped into a terrible Gordon impression. "Tender engines DON'T shunt!" Percy found it funny, however. Then Henry came by, whistling as usual.
Percy then let out a shriek of "WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESH!" that made Henry literally jump into the air and run back screaming of the demonic presence in that little green engine.
"Impressive!" Edward said. "How beautifully you weeshed him! I can't weesh like that!"
"Oh that's nothing!" said Percy, his head growing bigger by the second. "That's nothing! Hear them in the workshop sometimes! It's like Black Friday there! You ahve to weesh loudly just to get yourself heard!" He stared and then grinned. "MORE TRUCKS TO SORT!"
...
The next morning, as the three big engines sulked, Thomas arrived. "Sorry I'm so late!" he said cheerfully. "Had a problem, dealt with it! Those fish won't dare laugh at me ever again!"
Edward smiled at Thomas's ramblings. "Thomas. This is Percy."
Thomas looked at Percy. "So...big engines giving you any gip?"
"Scared the hell out of the green one."
"Well well!" Thomas was impressed. "I get the feeling you and I shall have a beautiful friendship!" He turned to Edward. "That Fat one sent for me Probably wants help."
"Sssh, here he comes!" whispered Edward. Sir Topham climbed over and stood in front of the three engines.
"Nice work Thomas. You've been quick. Listen, Henry, Gordon and James are sulking. They say they won't shunt like common tank engines. So I have shut them up literally in their sheds, and I want you both to run the line for a change."
"Common tank engines?!" snorted Thomas as he puffed away. "Balls to them! We'll show them."
"Oh, and Percy, of course, will help too."
"Oh thank you sir!"
"Don't suck up to me, Percy."
...
Edward and Thomas took over the running of the main line, whistling and greeting each other as they passed. And also started making up stories about how Henry would no doubt descend into cannibalism. Percy had puffed along the branchline, taking over as resident cheeky busy body. Thomas was worried about Annie and Clarabel, but both driver and guard promised to look after them. Annie preferred Percy, as he actually appeared to listen to her rambling.
There were fewer trains, but the passengers didn't mind...as much. They had run out of things to throw, and knew that three engines were having a lesson.
...
Elsewhere, Sir Topham Hatt was finishing a pitch. "It occurs to me that it's time to expand the railway This situation has given me the opportunity. We meed more engines to prepare for the influx we get in the next few years." He sat down. "So gentlemen. We've got a whole island to explore. How about we start expanding?"
...
"GO ON STRIKE YOU SAID!"
"HE WILL LOOK SILLY, YOU SAID!"
"Okay, fellows, let's just- JAMES, DON'T HIT ME LIKE THAT. HENRY! STOP WITH THAT STEAM."
Gordon, Henry and James were cold, lonely and miserable. They wished now they hadn't been so silly.