Safe by being his Daughter

by FelesMagica

After having been kidnapped by Death Eaters, Harry Potter is offered a unique opportunity: to die or to become someone else. But could a new life that would be dictated by his archenemy even be something worth considering? And could death truly be so much worse? Harry has to find out what he wants to do with his life and time is not on his side. Warning: femHarry, character deaths

5. Sealing Fate

5. Sealing Fate

Harry knew he was staring and that this was considered impolite in both wizarding and muggle society. But to be honest he couldn't help himself.

In front of him and next to his bed was sitting Professor Snape with a strange and ominously insane glint in his dark eyes and one of the most sardonic smirks on his thin lips. The very sight sent shivers of fear and dread down his spine. Snape truly looked like he had gone insane and was moments from doing something horribly stupid like acting only upon his instincts and without conscious or logical back-up.

Harry tried to hide a fearful wince. Instead he swallowed painfully around the big, dry lump that had appeared in the throat and did his best to force up a placating smile.

"What do you mean, Sir?"

The way Potter was forcing the words carefully out of his mouth, the way his glassy, emerald green eyes were watching his Professor intently as if the boy feared that Severus might attack him any second if he just moved too fast or in a way that could be considered all of a sudden and finally the way the boy was trying futilely to vanish into the blankets and the cushions made Severus' heart speed up in elation.

Oh, how often he had longed for Potter to once, just once, react to his mere presence during one of their Potions lessons. It would have made Severus' day.

But now, in this hidden and protected room in the equally hidden and protected Slytherin Manor everything was completely different. Severus needed Potter, he needed the boy to trust him and place his faith in the wisdom of Severus's words as well as in the efficiency and quality of his actions. Severus needed the boy or he would fail this mission.

As thrilling and enticing as the knowledge was that he could make Potter cower and whimper in terror, it couldn't be any less target-aimed if he had tried to come with another course of action. Acting like a mad-man might be socially acceptable among the Dark Lord's followers, but it was something he normally never did and something he had sworn himself to never be around Lily's child.

Disgust clouded his mind, as Severus tried to regain control over his raging emotions. He would blame this slip of control on the fact that he hadn't slept or eaten for more than two days while he had been working non-stop to ensure Potter's survival. Severus was tired, hungry and cranky, he needed a shower and a good, stiff drink so excuse him for losing it for a tiny moment.

The knowledge that Potter might even be open and accepting to Severus' far-fetched scheme had just been too good to be true.

Severus took a deep, calming breath and tried to look at the boy placating. It was difficult with how filthy he was and how grumpy he felt, but at least he was trying.

"It's rather easy, Potter." Severus explained in what he hoped as an understanding and patient voice. It probably wasn't, not that he could change that, anyway. "There is another way for you start a new life, although this way would be more radical than the blood-adoption."

Severus leaned back and let his gaze wander over the still scared looking boy. "No one would ever associate your new self with Harry Potter again. It would be too far-fetched to compare the two of you." Severus paused and regarded the boy intently. "There is one disadvantage to this solution."

Dark eyes bored into glassy green ones. It was of utmost importance that the boy understood. "I will be honest with you, this solution warrants bravery and determination in amounts seldom witnessed in wizards and witches." Severus wasn't exaggerating, what he was proposing to Potter was something he would never even consider if he had any other alternative.

"It is in its own right scarier than the blood-adoption could ever be." Severus voice became dead serious, his back was rigid and his long, thin finger had wound themselves tightly around his wand. "If you truly decide to do this, then you will have to be absolutely sure. I won't help provide you with the necessary means if I don't think that you honestly know what your decision will mean and what the consequences will be."

Potter was still staring at him wide eyed. He was swallowing painfully and looked tense enough to break his spine but his eyes were urging Severus to continue. It wouldn't do Potter any good if he hesitated and wasted more precious time. Those eyes were the reason why Severus finally decided to just drop the bomb.

"We could change your gender, Potter."

There was complete silence between them.

Potter was lying in the spacious bed dwarfing his small form with wide open eyes on his bony features and with his yaw hanging open. The incredulity and the disbelief were clearly visible on his face as Potter slowly started to move his mouth though no sound escaped his dry lips. Severus thought he looked eerily like a fish on the dry.

However, in all honesty Severus could understand the boy. Potter was the epitome of proud young man. He liked girls, he loved to play Quidditch and he even adored the thought of being the one to aliment his family more than anything else. The present proposition of becoming a woman and as thus being destined to be the one to start the family by bearing children and stay at home to raise them had to sound like a nightmare to Potter.

"What?"

Well, at least the boy remembered his state of health and didn't use his full force and power to scream at him although the harsh yelp must have been bad enough. Severus glared sternly at the panting and lightly coughing boy. It was to be expected that Potter would agree with the suggestion all of a sudden, but Severus was prepared to argue about this matter until Potter finally saw reason.

Severus' plan wasn't perfect and he knew this. But it was the best he could currently do. Potter would be safe and protected as a woman. No one would be able to connect his male former person to the new female one. The Dark Lord's followers would treat him with respect – they would never lay a hand on a pureblood dark witch, after all.

But the most important advantage would be that the Dark Lord would see to Potter's protection personally.

Potter would be safe under the Dark Lord's protection and Severus would finally be able to fulfil his oath to Lily. It was a perfect win-win situation for all parties involved.

Potter only had to get over himself.

With a low sigh on his lips Severus leaned back further into the chair and pierced the boy with his gaze.

"It is rather simple, Potter." Severus harshly suppressed the urge to roll his eyes and sneer at the boy. Just when he had thought Potter might be able to use that grey matter between his ears, Potter has to revert back to his old, brainless self.

"In addition to the blood adoption potion you would receive another potion with the unique property to destroy every single Y-chromosome in your body and replace them with X-chromosome's from your blood adopted 'mother'." Severus didn't know how profound Potter's knowledge about human reproduction was – Hogwarts education was certainly lacking in that aspect. Not that Severus cared enough to volunteer for that job, thank you very much.

"The potion would turn you into a real woman." Severus tried to keep his voice level and smooth at the horrific thought of changing his gender. "You will be able to conceive and bear children. Your life goals would still be achievable. You would still be able to complete your scholastic education, find a job, marry and start your own family. The only difference would be that you would do so as the Dark Lord's Heiress and not as his heir."

Twirling his wand between his fingers Severus gazed down at the boy with cold eyes. "And you would be safe from suspicions from the light side. The thought that you could be a woman would never cross their mind as the potion necessary is utmost dark in its entire nature and only known to a select few."

Severus had done his very best to try and explain the potion and its advantages to Potter and yet the boy was still lying in the bed and staring dumbly at his former Professor. Severus couldn't suppress the sigh wanting to escape his mouth.

It wasn't as if he was speaking Spanish, Potter had to have understood what Severus had told him. It shouldn't be too hard to understand. And in all honesty the boy had brought the topic up. He was, after all, the one to comment he would be happy to be adopted by the Dark Lord. He shouldn't have remarked that he wanted to start his life completely anew if he wasn't up to. Potter had to be in a dire state of desperation to come to such a desire.

So why was the boy acting as if Severus had gone crazy?

Potter jerkily shook his head. "No, honestly, no. Why? Why should I even do this?"

That was obviously the most important question running through Potter's troubled mind. Why on earth any sane man be willing to change his gender?

"Turning into a woman would have advantages on its own." Severus tried to keep his voice neutral. Potter needed to see reason on his own, forcing him to understand would only backfire in the end. "One advantage would be that no one would expect a woman to be the former Harry Potter."

Severus' eyes became sharp as he regarded the boy intently. "You know the light sight will never just accept your disappearance. They will search everywhere." Severus stressed. "And one day they might find you. It would be most suspicious and a great coincidence that Harry Potter disappears and the Dark Lord's appears at the same time. They will suspect your involvement and they will try and kidnap you."

Severus dark eyes were merciless as they bore into Potter's. "The light side doesn't care for you as a person, Potter. You know this, there is no need to deny it. They would do everything in their might to ensure that you live so you can fulfil your duty." Severus sneered coldly at the pale boy. "They don't care that you don't want to fight anymore, that you don't want to kill. They won't care that you feel empty and broken."

Severus smiled coldly at the shivering boy. "The light side doesn't care as long as you keep on fighting. All they care for is that you fulfil your duty as the chosen one and vanquish the Dark Lord."

Harry shuddered and felt disgusted with himself but he had to admit that Snape was right. The light side would never cease trying to locate him and if they did everything would be like it had been before.

Severus almost smirked to himself. The first seeds of doubt had been successfully planted. "Another advantage would be that you would be better protected as a woman. As the Dark Lord's Heiress no one would expect you to participate in raids and attacks even though you be trained to defend yourself." Pureblood society's bigotry and machismo had been a frequent subject for debate with Lily. She had felt double cheated – being looked down for being muggleborn and being excluded from most activities as it was her duty to bear and raise and not to lead and change.

"As a man you would have to prove yourself worthy of the title the Dark Lord's son to your father's followers. As his daughter you would be easily accepted." Severus openly goaded the boy. Acceptance was what Potter longed for in his new life.

A slightly faraway and wistful look crossed the Potions Master's features as he mindlessly stroked his left arm causing Harry's interest to spike. "As Heiress your role would be more representing than active. Your attendance at social gatherings would be required. But your mere presence would be sufficient enough."

Severus almost shuddered as a cold hand wound itself around his heart and he forcefully pushed the troubling memory away. "Nobody would expect you to demonstrate your power. You wouldn't have to show your superiority by torturing muggles and muggleborns. It wouldn't be expected from a woman to do something as foul as this." There was a reason why Bellatrix Lestrange was the only woman with an active role in the Death Eater ranks. But Bellatrix was the vile product of generations of in-breeding and craziness ran strong in her family.

Severus refocused his attention on Potter. "Your life would be peaceful and carefree, Potter, especially as you would be spared from taking the Dark Mark."

Harry looked up startled at his professor at the mention of the Dark Mark. To his shame he had to admit that he hadn't thought about what the consequences of becoming the Voldemort's son might entail. Of course, Voldemort would force his son to take the Dark Mark and take an active role in the ranks of his Death Eaters.

The sole thought of having this awful tattoo marring his skin sent shivers down Harry's spine. It was like choosing between the devil and the deep blue sea. What was worse? Turning into a woman? Or having the Dark Mark on his skin?

All of a sudden a strange and troubling thought crossed Harry's mind. Harry crossed his arms moodily over his chest and stared with open suspicion at Snape.

"All this sounds to me as if you want to convince me to choose and to become a woman. Why is this so, Sir?" Harry glared and narrowed his eyes. "Do you have ultimate reasons?"

Hissing sharply in anger Severus spun around and glanced over his shoulder in agitation. As he placed one slim finger over his lips the Potions Master listened intently. When nothing strange or threatening could be heard, Severus slowly turned around and looked at the boy in the bed with angrily burning eyes.

He was debating on the pros and cons of what he was about to do. On one hand he she shouldn't tell the boy as it wasn't his secret to share. On the other hand this piece of information might tip the scale.

Harry watched with worry clouding his mind and heart as his Potions Professor muttered soundlessly under his breath. Snape's brows were deeply furrowed and his eyes flickering restlessly from one side to the other. Finally, Snape came to a solution. He grabbed his wand with slim fingers and stared into Harry's eyes.

"I shouldn't tell you any of this, but if this is the only way that you will consider my proposal as a possible solution then this is the only way." Severus felt the tension taking possession of his body. His actions went against everything he held dear and considered important. "However, before I tell you, you have to swear an unbreakable oath to never speak of anything you are about to hear."

Severus leaned forward and scowled darkly. "It would be mine and your death and be sure of it, Potter, it would be the most horrendous death imaginable." Severus hissed threateningly. "Do you understand?"

For a mere moment Harry hesitated. Then curiosity won over logic and he nodded curtly albeit hesitatingly. Snape had all the while been staring into his eyes as if he was searching for any hint that Harry might go against his word. When he found nothing, Snape nodded equally curtly and then motioned for Harry to grab his hand.

Harry complied after a moment of flaring unease. As soon as their hands touched, Snape uttered the necessary spell. His wand shone brightly and eerily in the dark room as their hands started to glow in a bright green. Thin snakelike ropes of poor magic wound themselves around their hands and connected them through magic and intent.

After the magic had finally bound them to the oath, Harry felt his emotions returning to their former state of curiosity and anticipation. The green magical light ceased and finally Snape let go of this hand and stepped back.

Dusting off the invisible dirt from his clothes, Severus rose from his chair and took a seat on the end of Potter's bed. From his position on the bed Severus would be able to watch the boy and the door at the same time. It wouldn't do for them to be suddenly interrupted by some brainless Death Eater minion. No, it wouldn't do at all.

"Not many people know about what I am going to tell you, in fact only the Dark Lord and I possess this piece of information." Severus observed the boy critically and pursed his lips in displeasure. What he was willing to do to keep the boy alive was unbelievable. "Keep this in mind, Potter. The Dark Lord knows that I know. He spared my memory, but he made absolutely clear that should I ever tell another soul about any of this that he would skin me alive."

Severus wasn't able to suppress a shudder. With the Dark Lord no one could know whether he meant what he said in a metaphorical or literal sense. "Believe me, Potter, I have no reason to question his devotion not to go back on his word. Never speak nor think about this after I have told you, Potter. It's elemental you don't."

A curt nod from the boy was the only answer he received yet again. With a deep sigh on his lips, Severus tried to find the best way to explain what had influenced his proposal.

Perhaps he should start at the beginning. "The Dark Lord has not always been like he is now." Potter had the audacity to snort in disbelief and Severus dearly wished he could swat the boy. "Of course, Potter, the Dark Lord has always been inclined to dark magic. He is evil and had been when he was still attending Hogwarts, so that is not what I mean."

Severus shook his head, as if the movement might chase away the depressing memories. "What I mean, Potter, is that the Dark Lord is lonely."

He ignored the boy's scoff and the incredulous widening of his eyes. "His current situation is understandable seeing as the Dark Lord tends to torture and sometimes even kill without reason those who are willing to follow him." Severus shuddered. Those weren't good memories that were creeping up on him.

"It has not always been like this. Many wouldn't have considered to follow him had he acted like this from the beginning." Severus sighed, his gaze growing far away and unfocused. "Years ago the Dark Lord was not lonely. There was one person who followed him everywhere he went and not in the stalking manner. He could trust this person and the person trusted him with its very life. Twenty-five years ago, Potter, the Dark Lord got married."

A surprised gasp escaped the boy's mouth, but Severus silenced him with a deathly stern glare. It was difficult to talk about this, he didn't need the boy to interrupt him.

"Yes, Potter, the Dark Lord was married." Severus snarked sharply. "It may be difficult to imagine but trust me, Potter, the Dark Lord was married."

Oh, how different things had been back then.

"His wife had been considered the beauty of Hogwarts. She had stolen many young men's hearts and so it was not a surprise to me when the Dark Lord started to get interested in her, too." Severus would have chortled with laughter if he ever allowed himself to do such a thing. The Dark Lord's face when he had confessed his growing interest in the young, beautiful and strong-willed woman had been hilarious.

"The Dark Lord was the epitome of a handsome, powerful young man and was always looking for women to grace his side." Severus recounted, his voice remarkably lighter and filled with life. "It wasn't different with her. He had cornered her one day after class and after some persuasion he finally managed to tickle the agreement to accompany him on a date out of her. It wasn't different from any other woman he had dated before."

A wistful look crossed Snape's features. All of a sudden the normally sour man looked almost sad as if he was remembering better times. The very thought made Harry itchy and desperate for more.

"It might have started the same, but during one of their dates the Dark Lord suddenly realized that something was different with her." Severus shook his head lightly. How different thing had been then. "He was looking forward to meet her and became desperate to see her happy. After month of pondering he had finally realized that he was falling in love with her."

It had been a most interesting and enlightening moment back then. "He didn't only appreciate her for her beauty but also for her intelligence and strength of character. He started courting her during his seventh year and the day he had completed his school career, he married her."

Playing with the wand in his hands Snape seemed to be far away, lost in the memories of a better past.

"She was a Slytherin just like him." Severus continued. "Unlike most she didn't have any problems with the way he acted. He wanted power and to change the world. She had sworn him fidelity and she would stay by his side until either of them died."

Severus paused and glanced at the boy thoughtfully. "It was a perfect marriage, perhaps not romantic and touchy-feeling like most girls would wish for but it was perfect in its own way. Two people had found each other and lived to complete the other. He would do everything just to please her."

"She was the reason for his decision to wipe out muggleborns." Seeing the shocked expression on the boy's face Severus chuckled darkly.

"It's true, Potter, the Dark Lord's wife is the reason for this war." Severus iterated. "Sharina Salwick was the last descendant of a long line of purebloods, born to Sheldin Salwick heir of the Salwick family and Taranee Shafiq heiress to the Shafiq family. She was famed for her beauty that caused many young men to do very stupid things."

Severus almost winced at the sudden thought that Potter would have to be taught pureblood history and genealogy. That would only end in a disaster.

Shaking his head Severus continued. "You have to keep in mind, Potter, in pureblood families daughters are just as priced as sons. An heir may carry on the family name, whereas an heiress will bear another generation of pureblood children. In many muggle families it seems to be different." Severus emphasized. He had been raised between two worlds, he knew as he had witnessed and experienced it himself.

From the way Potter's face darkened briefly, the boy knew what Severus was talking about. "Some muggleborn boys had been fantasizing about Sharina. They stalked her through the entire school and tried to get her to go out with them." Severus still felt aggravated by the memories. "However, Sharina was proud and knew what she wanted. No matter how often they cornered and pressured her, she always declined."

Severus scowled darkly. "The boy couldn't take no for a no and felt that Sharina owned them for all the trouble they went through to get her attention. That she agreed to go out with the Dark Lord only added insult to injury."

The dark expression on the man's face intensified and Harry idly wondered what could have happened to cause the normally stoic man to experience so much hate and revulsion.

"One evening they cornered her before she could reach the common room. They silenced and stunned her and dragged her to the boys' toilet." Severus shuddered at the memory of the Dark Lord's agitation when she didn't return to the common room as she normally would.

"They started to undress her. At one point the silencing spell must have broken, as Sharina was screaming loudly but nobody seemed to hear her." Severus' eyes narrowed dangerously. He had never been able to figure out why no one had heard Sharina and come to her aid.

"The Dark Lord found them just in time to prevent the first boy defiling her. He had started to worry when she didn't return on time and went to search for her. Her screaming alerted him to her dire state." Severus took a shuddering breath. The sight of the Dark Lord storming towards the Infirmary would forever haunt his nightmares.

"I don't know how he managed, but the Dark Lord didn't kill the boys on sight. Instead he stunned them, rescued Sharina and brought her to the Infirmary." Severus personally felt that the Dark Lord should have killed those bastards. They would have deserved it.

"The boys were suspended, but in the Dark Lord's eyes it was never enough." And rightly so, Severus thought darkly. "He blamed them for his girlfriend's trauma and her sudden fear of darkness. His disdain regarding muggleborns and muggles was well-known, however it was this incident that turned disdain to hate."

The dark expression lighted a little. Harry on the other hand was shell-shocked. Dumbledore must have known, he had been a teacher at Hogwarts during Voldemort's school years and yet Dumbledore had never thought about sharing this story with Harry. What had happened didn't justify Voldemort's actions, but it would have helped to understand his reasons better.

At least, Harry would have known that Voldemort hadn't just started hating and hunting muggles and muggleborns out of the blue.

Snape's voice brought Harry back to reality. "To avenge what happened to his girlfriend and to make the world a safer place for pureblood woman the Dark Lord decided to rid the world of those that didn't value the old traditions." Severus' face was a strange mixture between understanding and exasperation. "His followers kill and torture, but not once have they touched a woman in an inappropriate way during those raids. The Dark Lord would kill them for trying."

A strange, warm feeling suddenly spread through Harry's body and with a jolt of surprise the boy realized that it was reassurance. Perhaps living with Voldemort as a woman wouldn't be too bad, after all. At least no one would dare to touch him against his will. That was good to know at least.

"In their fourth year of marriage I was called one night. The Dark Lord was on the edge as his wife was feeling miserable." Severus almost huffed a laugh. "He threatened to kill me should I fail ease her ailing. It didn't take me long to figure out what was wrong. Sharina was pregnant expecting their first child."

Again the strangely wistful smile appeared. Harry felt as if someone had pulled the rug from under his feet. How could it be that no one knew that Voldemort was married and had a child? How could it be that only Snape knew?

"It was one of the memorable evenings in my whole life." Severus openly confessed. "The Dark Lord was speechless. Later he confessed that he had thought of everything, poisoning, a spell, charm or curse gone wrong, a deathly illness, even about his wife having been kidnapped and the person using polyjuice-potion suffering from the changing effects."

Severus smiled softly, a smile never once before witnessed by one of his students. "The thought she could be pregnant had never crossed mind. The Dark Lord was proud, ecstatic even. He forbade his wife to leave their rooms, called for the best healers and bodyguards and would only allow his two most trusted elves to provide her with food and everything she needed."

Smiling to himself Severus remembered the small photo in his secret hiding space in his chambers. The photo of a small, beautiful baby with dark blue eyes, dark hair and pale skin smiling laughingly at him. Perhaps one day he would show it to Potter but only if the boy behaved himself.

"Saleena was making her father proud. She lived hidden and protected. No one knew of her existence." Severus' face turned disdainful and his lips pulled into a derogatory sneer. "The Death Eaters thought Sharina was his concubine, the one to act upon his wishes. They had no clue."

Severus sneered snidely. "With his daughter's birth the Dark Lord's possessive and protective urges reached a new magnitude. No one was to know that she existed. Saleena was to be kept safe. At first it worked fine, Saleena grew up loved by her father and mother and she had everything she could wish for. It was perfect."

Harry felt completely unprepared to deal with Snape as the man's expression suddenly morphed into one of utmost devastation. His eyes became glassy and had Snape been alone, Harry was sure that the sour man might have shed a tear.

"Mere days after her fourth birthday we were attacked." Severus was staring into nothingness as he experienced the horrible events again in his mind. "The Death Eaters were assembled for a meeting when Aurors attacked the Manor. Chaos erupted, some people were injured others killed."

Severus swallowed painfully. "The Dark Lord ordered us to flee. Something crashed and the earth shook. An Auror had dropped a bomb, the Manor was about to collapse. Thinking his wife would be waiting outside for him with their daughter the Dark Lord vanished, too, moments before the Manor collapsed. With their work done, the Aurors left."

All of a sudden Snape's voice became hateful and a dangerously angry glint appeared in Snape's dark eyes.

"Sharina and Saleena were nowhere to be seen, so the Dark Lord started to search the ruins. By dawn he had found them." Severus paused, a haunted look on his bony face. "Sharina had been taking a bath when the Aurors had stormed the Manor and Saleena had been sleeping. Before Sharina could reach their daughter, the building had collapsed and buried both of them."

Severus took a deep shuddering breath. "Sharina survived, but their daughter died under the masses of rumble."

Trying to regain his steady breathing, Severus clenched his hands to stop the shaking. Harry hadn't even noticed they had started to tremble. He had been too entranced by Snape's story.

"The Dark Lord was devastated and angry, but he moved forward. One day they might have another child." Severus remembered the past, the dark haunted look in Sharina's eyes and the Dark Lord's increased activity as a means to distract himself from his loss.

"Sharina, however, felt guilty. For months she was lying in their bed. She was crying, wouldn't eat nor speak. It didn't take a schooled eye to realize that she was developing a depression. I did my best to help her." Severus' eyes dropped and his shoulders hunched. "Six month later she killed herself in the bathtub."

A long time there was silence. Harry was lying in his bed and tried to digest everything that Snape had told him. It was heart-breaking, nobody deserved to lose loved ones, their only family in such tragic ways and in such short time.

Severus was meanwhile sitting on the bed, his mind filled with happy memories and devastating sad ones. It had been cruel years until the Dark Lord had finally been over the loss of those two special women.

A soft sneeze broke his concentration. Blinking shortly Severus suddenly remembered where he was. Potter was with him. He had to save him. This was his mission. Severus looked intently at the young man and tried to convince him with his finale statement.

"You see, Potter, as his daughter you would be perfectly safe. After all, he would never harm his daughter."

Harry thought there may still be a good reason for Voldemort to torture or kill him. He seemed to have adored his daughter and therefore might not take too kindly to seeing her memory tarnished by his arch-nemesis. He would be Voldemort's daughter even in blood thanks to those potions, after all. On the other hand, if Voldemort truly cared so much for the pureblood costumes and upbringing he would never hurt nor touch Harry inappropriately. It would be against everything their traditions stood for. So in any way, Harry would be safe, safer than he could ever be if he remained a man.

He may not be loved. That was very clear to Harry. Voldemort didn't want to adopt him because he thought Harry needed a loving family and Voldemort felt so lonely. No, he would adopt Harry to keep him alive. However, having a family that would tolerate and even protect him was far better in Harry's opinion than a family that hated him and wished him the worst so that he would finally let them live in peace.

Voldemort would care for his education. He would be tutored, he would finish his schooling, he would start to work and he would learn how to act and speak during pureblood gatherings. Voldemort would present him to the world. He wouldn't try to hide him like Harry's relatives had done it and if he did, it would be for completely different reasons.

To keep Harry safe.

Snape had even said he would be allowed to marry. Harry wouldn't be free in his choice of partner, as he was sure his partner had to be a pureblood to be even considered by Voldemort, but he would be allowed to choose. Harry had always wanted to marry and have a family. Though in his wishes and imagination he had been the one to wear black at the wedding and to be the one to hold his wife's hand while she was bringing their child into the world.

It was a strange thought to be a woman all of a sudden. But sincerely Harry knew that it wouldn't change much and he would be able to handle it. He knew he fancied girls, but this may change with his body.

His interest in girls had been minimal at best. He had never truly felt aroused by the thought of a naked girl. He hadn't been able to imagine how sleeping with Ginny would be, it just wouldn't work. In his mind she always appeared censored. With Hermione it had been different but the outcome had nearly made him feel nauseous. And with other girls he hadn't tried.

He might feel attracted to someone for the first time once he was a woman.

Although Harry had to admit that the very thought of being the one who would be speared instead of being the one to spear for the lack of a better word was just as bad as knowing that somehow he would be the one to deliver a half meter long and several kilos heavy baby through a tiny small split between his legs. The very thought was freaking him out. Sure as hell it would hurt tremendously if just being pregnant caused Voldemort to think his wife was dying.

Perhaps there were other means to solve this. Surely Snape must have some potions and creams to make it better.

Hopefully.

With a sigh Harry sat up in the bed startling Snape while doing so. He had made up his mind. His face was void of emotions, he wouldn't give Snape the pleasure to see the turmoil of emotions causing his head to spin. He would have to hurry, otherwise he would never be able to do it. He would be too scared.

Harry shuddered and squared his shoulders. "I can't believe I'm going to say this." Harry muttered weakly. "I'm doing it, Sir." He proclaimed strongly. "I want to become a woman. I want to live."

A content and self-assured smile spread over the Potions Master's face. He must have realized how difficult this decision had been for Harry as not a single word of teasing left his lips. There was not a single sign that Snape might possibly enjoy the prospect of Harry changing his gender. Instead he nodded and rose with a fluent motion.

"You can't imagine how happy your decision makes me, Potter."

With another nod Severus dusted the dirt from his robes and was about to turn around, when a small voice made him halt in his actions. Potter more than a little bit pale and slightly shaken by his own decision was looking at him pleadingly. There must have been something else on the boy's mind, Severus realized with annoyance. Sighing deeply, he motioned for Harry to speak.

"Please, just tell me how I will look like." Potter pleaded weakly. "The thought of becoming a woman is scary. But not knowing what to expect is horrific. Please, I will be stuck in this form, I know it. Just tell me how I will look like so I know what to expect, Sir."

The sardonic smile spread yet again over the Potions Master's features. He knew what to expect. After all, he did not only know how the Dark Lord had looked before his transformation. Severus had also seen quite a number of old Slytherin and Riddle family photos. He knew what Potter would look like. But he wouldn't just tell him, the boy could, after all, still suffer a bit for all the stress and anger Severus had had with him during those last seven horrible school years. It was only too fair. And it wasn't like Potter would curse himself for making this decision. Severus was sure of that.

"You will look like a member of the Slytherin family and like a descendant of Salazar Slytherin himself."

With those words delivered a smiling Severus left a terrified and desperate Potter behind in his room. Oh, the next days would be eventful.