Zugzwang:

Chapter 3

It's been a few weeks since Ludwig took me in. A few weeks since I found myself in Germany in the year 1936 two months away from 1937. Ludwig had treated me most generously. He bought clothes for me when I told him my possessions were stolen. When I joined him for mealtimes he would ask a lot of questions about me. He learned mostly true things about me. I played the piano, sometimes sing, and I enjoyed writing. The night after I expressed my talents for writing and music, he gave me a leather diary where I could write whatever I'd like. He asked me what I could do for a job. Back home I wanted to become a critic, a writer or editor of some sort. I was made Ludwig's personal assistant. I often helped him with his paperwork and attended meetings with him. When I started working for the first time, I had to meet his current boss. Adolf Hitler.

I don't think I've ever been more scared in my life. Those eyes...so cold and dark. A chill runs down my spine just thinking about it. Especially knowing about what he was and what he had done. I try to push that day out of my mind. I clutched my left hand whenever I think about that day. The feeling of the Fuhrer still hasn't left it.

…...xxxxxXXXXXxxxxx...

I stared at myself in the mirror in dread. My new clothes and makeup looked magnificent but that didn't increase what little confidence I had at the moment. I was grateful that my previous clothes weren't modern enough to raise suspicion. They contained a white blouse, long black skirt, and long stockings. After I told Ludwig my possessions were stolen, I explained how the thugs wanted to further humiliate me by taking my shoes.

I wore a black business suit that reminded me of military women in World War II, I put my hair into a chignon, and slipped on shiny black low heeled stilettos.

I took a long breath before grabbing my new purse and walked downstairs where Ludwig was waiting. His reassuring smile only slightly calmed my nerves.

"Du bist wunderschön, Miriam." He said, holding the door open for me. I thanked him and he lead me to a shiny black vehicle. He opened the passenger door for me before going into the driver's seat. The ride was about thirty minutes but to me it seemed like hours before we arrived.

The Reichstag's majestic appearance made me feel like a lamb walking into a wolf's den. A group of men wearing familiar black military uniforms stood outside the building, smoking cigarettes and conversing. These men were the perfect combination of danger and beauty. They were young, about in their early twenties or late teens and they had a very prideful appearance. Their dark and wrinkle-free uniforms gave them an alluring appearance. Undeniably handsome.

It was the red bands with swastikas on them that proved their allegiance and made them unapproachable. To me, at least. I had no doubt that any German woman would fling themselves at these young men without a second thought. Their blue eyes reminded me of ice and made my spine tingle.

As Ludwig and I approached, the men immediately stepped into place and gave the Nazi salute, shouting "Heil Hitler!" Ludwig returned the salute and I wasn't sure if I should do it or not. I couldn't help but look at the men on my left side as we walked past them. One of them caught my gaze and I quickly returned my face forward but I could still feel his stare on the back of my head until I was out of his sight. Those had been the bluest eyes I had ever seen. They weren't as icy as the other two officers but that young man's eyes were the color of the sky on a sunny day. A more lively color than the other men's irises. He seemed to be closer to my age, eighteen or nineteen perhaps. His face was clean shaven, thankfully because I absolutely hate facial hair, and beneath the hat, I could see beautifully gelled blonde hair, the same color as Ludwig's.

If I could compare those Nazis to anything, it would be aconite. A beautiful flower that contains a deadly poison. Coincidently, I read that this plant symbolized misanthropy. What irony.

"Ve are here." I nearly stumbled into Ludwig when he stopped in front of a door. I tried to control my breathing and I wondered if the heart could be heard from outside the body because I could swear that my heart was about to burst. Ludwig knocked on the door and I straightened up when an 'Hereinkommen' come from the room.

The room was many shades of red. From scarlet to crimson, decorated with brown and there was a golden eagle above the desk. In the red chair, was the Fuhrer.

I've only seen Adolf Hitler in black and white pictures but I prefer them much more than seeing him in color, let alone in person. He looked up at us, briefly looking at me before turning to Germany, then back at me. I remained still as a stone as he rose from his seat.

"Fuhrer, das ist meine neue assistentin, Fraulein Miriam Toller." Germany said. "Sie ist aus der Schweiz, aber sie hat sich bereit erklärt, Ihre Sache zu unterstützen."

Hitler gazed at me and smiled like any gentleman would when meeting a beautiful woman.

"Ah, Sie sind Fraulein Toller." He finally spoke. "Herr Deutschland hat mir viel über Sie erzählt. Wenn das, was er sagt, wahr ist, erwarte ich große Arbeit von Ihnen."

"Ich werde dich nicht enttäuschen, Fuhrer." I replied, in a professional manner. "Ich bin geehrt, Deutschland zu dienen, wie du es für richtig hältst. Was Sie tun, ist wirklich bewundernswert."

"Fasziniert." Hitler chuckled, extending his hand. I expected a handshake but instead he raised my hand to his lips. A jolt of electricity seemed to go into my hand and expanded throughout my body but I dared not to make a sudden move.

Germany and Hitler made a brief discussion but I didn't hear a word they were saying. Anxiety swelled up in my abdomen as I waited for it all to be over, not wanting to be here any longer.

When we got back to Ludwig's house relief swept over me like a wave and I fought the urge to sigh as we got out of the vehicle. I still felt a painful tingling in my hand whenever I thought about that day, no matter how many times I scrubbed my hands.

When I fell asleep that night, I had nightmares of skeletal figures in striped uniforms crying out and reaching for me with fragile and desperate bony fingers.

I didn't sleep for the rest of the night after I woke up.

..…...xxxxxXXXXXxxxxx...

I have not needed to meet with the Fuhrer since that day and I was grateful. I'm not sure if I would be able to hide my fear the next time I have to see him.

I was currently writing in my new diary about today's events. Ludwig had treated me to lunch at the oldest restaurant in Berlin, Zur Letzten Instanz. It was built in 1621 as a tavern and it's name means 'In the last instance'. Ludwig said it had the best cuisine in Berlin. He was right.

The waiter brought us bread with a side of lard as a starter. I've never had lard before and it tasted slightly similar to butter.

For a drink I ordered apfelwein and Ludwig, unsurprisingly, ordered a beer. I normally have alcohol once a year on Christmas when my maternal grandmother served homemade apfelwein, never having more than one cup. She learned to make it at a young age when she lived in Germany.

Before she moved to America and married, her name was Miriam Roth. Her parents, my great grandparents were Berthold and Aloisia Roth. Her father owned a furniture company in Heidelberg and they were very wealthy. Her mother was an artist and a musician. Aloisia Roth could paint the most vivid and beautiful sceneries. Gazing at them could make one feel as though they are looking out a window into another universe. Her piano skills were passed down to her daughter, who passed it to my mother, and then to me. They were a family of the arts and I was proud to have their blood in my veins.

When the food arrived, Ludwig and I enjoyed a hearty meal of sauerbraten, a German pot roast prepared with usually beef as the main meat and potato dumplings. Many considered German cuisine to be nearly as bland as British food but they've clearly never even bothered to try it. Sauerbraten was officially my favorite German meal.

As soon as I put my pen down, I heard a knock on my door.

"Hereinkommen." I called. Ludwig entered and smiled at me.

"Hallo Miriam, darf ich mit dir sprechen?" He asked. I immediately nodded.

"Ja, sicher." Yes, of course. I gestured for him to sit down before asking. "Was ist es?"

"Es wird ein Treffen mit anderen Nationen in ein paar Tagen. Ich dachte, du solltest mit mir kommen." There will be a meeting with other nations in a few days. I was thinking that you should come with me.

I scoffed. How silly of him to ask. "Natürlich werde ich kommen, Ludwig. Ich bin Ihr Assistent, es ist mein Job, mit Ihnen jederzeit zu arbeiten." Of course I'll come, Ludwig. I am your assistant, it is my job to work with you at any time.

"Sehr gut." Ludwig continued. "Wir reisen nach Japan für dieses Treffen. Italien wird uns am Flughafen treffen." We will travel to Japan for this meeting. Italy will meet us at the airport.

I laughed at that. Italy is meeting us. I doubt he can even sit still for five minutes. "Angenommen, er ist nicht spät oder geht verloren." Supposing he is not late or gets lost.

"Ah, bitte verschone mir die Kopfschmerzen, Miriam." Ludwig muttered, his mood changing but with a slight smirk. Please, spare me the headaches, Miriam.

I giggled at that. "Es tut mir leid."

Ludwig sighed and stood up. "Gute nacht, Miriam."

"Gute nacht. Schlaf gut." I replied. Good night. Sleep well.

After Ludwig left, I immediately collapsed onto the bed. I will be meeting the rest of the Axis Powers very soon and visiting Japan. I had dreams of traveling back home, in my time, but not during a period where the deadliest conflict of human history is taking place. Not only that but I'm working with what will soon be my homeland's enemy once again. And I will meet it's worst enemy in a few days. The land of the rising sun. Along with the personification of fascism's birthplace, which inspired Nazism in Germany.

I was grateful that Ludwig could only sense ancestry to his country and not my ancestors religions. I am Roman Catholic but my grandmother, Miriam, was Jewish.

AN: First off, thank you alexc1209 and The Man Who Speaks In Hands for your reviews. And here are the translations of the meeting with the Fuhrer.

Translations:

Du bist wunderschön, Miriam: You are beautiful, Miriam.

Hereinkommen: Come in.

Fuhrer, das ist meine neue assistentin, Fräulein Miriam Toller: Fuhrer, this is my new assistant, Miss Miriam Toller.

Sie ist aus der Schweiz, aber sie hat sich bereit erklärt, Ihre Sache zu unterstützen: She is from Switzerland but she has agreed to support your cause.

Ah, Sie sind Fraulein Toller: Ah, you are Miss Toller.

Herr Deutschland hat mir viel über Sie erzählt. Wenn das, was er sagt, wahr ist, erwarte ich große Arbeit von Ihnen: Mr. Germany has told me a lot about you. If what he says is true, I expect great work from you.

Ich werde dich nicht enttäuschen, Fuhrer: I will not disappoint you, Fuhrer.

Ich bin geehrt, Deutschland zu dienen, wie du es für richtig hältst. Was Sie tun, ist wirklich bewundernswert: I am honored to serve Germany as you think fit. What you do is truly admirable.

Fasziniert: Charmed

Hallo Miriam, darf ich mit dir sprechen: Hello Miriam, may I talk to you?

Was ist es: What is it?

Sehr gut: Very good

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