Hiya guys! Toonie here! Much thanks to all the readers who have favorited it, didn't think it would get this popular, I must admit. Also, if you want to review, even if it's just writing a 'This sucks' or 'Rot in hell Toon Guy!' then please do so!

And now, CUE THE THEME.

...

All right Stevie, I'm ready...Stevie?

Sorry, we're getting some problems with the cameras.

Oh, how so?

Well, every so often there'll be a glitch. Just for a millisecond, if we hadn't tried to slow it down to make sure that none of the crew members are in the shot too much, we wouldn't have noticed...we're not sure what it spells out yet, but it's a message of sorts...ah, never mind, Ringo, go ahead.

...

Percy works many places over the Island of Sodor, but for the most part, he has recently been working at the yard near the big station. Often he is seen pulling trucks, and many are not sure for which party the punishment is being given.

He loves playing jokes, but they can get him into trouble. Henry knew that all too well, as he had been stuck in the same position at Knapford for a few days now.

One morning, he was being very cheeky indeed, even by his standards.

He rushed up in the Tidmouth yards and sidled up besides Gordon. "Peep peep! Hurry up Gordon the train's ready!"

Gordon thought he was late and let out of a blast of rude words. He then paused in thought as he realized that today was supposed to be his day off. "HAHAHA!" laughed Percy, who had no concept of when a laugh was necessary, and showed him a train of dirty coal trucks. Gordon thought how to pay Percy out, only to then be presented with a bill for parking in the wrong area.

That got his day off to a good start and no mistake.

...

Next it was James's turn, and Percy specifically went in a loop twice just so he could arrive as James was resting by the Breakdown Train. James was bearing the signs of a scuffle with Thomas, who had finally gotten the full use of his face back again.

"Stay in the sheds today James!" said Percy, barely hiding his snickering. "The Fat Controller will come and see you!"

Now, let us be frank. If this situation was happening to us, there would more than likely be a reasonable thought in your mind that trusting the resident prankster with news was a bit like giving the codes to all nuclear weapons to a Anti-War demonstrator. You know that. I know that.

James did not know that, for it has been mentioned a number of times that reasonable thoughts died in his brainbox.

"Aaah!" though he aloud. "The Fat Controller knows that I'm a fine engine! And handsome too! He wants me to pull a special train!"

"Uh yeah that's it!" Percy rushed off before he exploded with laughter. James's driver and fireman could not make him work, both in the sense that he would not do his work, and that he refused to even start.

Now what James was trying to accomplish by not, for example, asking the driver and fireman if this was true or not, since the Fat Controller would have certainly sent someone reliable to tell them, is a mystery that will last until the end of time.

This in turn caused the other engines to grumble dreadfully, as they were forced to do James's work.

Gordon snarled and angrily threatened James with all manner of painful acts preformed upon his cab. Henry hissed and fumed and muttered curse words that should pass through the lips of neither engine nor human. Even Edward, who James had supposedly entered in a truce with, remarked as he passed the lazy sod that he probably should have left James to crash.

At last, after about twelve hours of this, and a dramatic slow down with work, Inspector Norris arrived.

"Show a wheel James."

James swiveled his eyes to his driving wheels. "There."

"Smartass." Inspector Norris said loudly. "You can't stay here all day!"

"Actually he can." cut in the driver.

"Stow it mate!" snapped Norris.

"The Fat Controller told me to stay here. He sent a message this morning!" James looked smug, feeling that he had got the better of Norris in this exchange.

"He did not. How could he? He's away for a week in Wales!"

"Oh?" said James mockingly.

"Oh." he said in contemplation of just who had delivered the message.

"OH!" he said as the penny finally dropped into the abyss that was his brain. "WHERE THE HELL IS THAT MISERABLE GREEN SCROTUM WIPE PERCY!?" Somehow, he started forward just by pure rage, and both driver and fireman grabbed on quickly to stop him from causing a nasty accident.

Inspector Norris glared at the foolish boys, who had come back for more after the previous week's stunt.

...

Percy had wisely disappeared in the rough direction of Vicarstown.

...

When the Fat Controller came back (Mysteriously with a woman who appeared to be staying at his house) he did see James, and Percy too, in the yard. Gordon promptly began selling tickets, and within three minutes they had already sold out.

Both engines wished that Hatt had stayed just a few days longer. Mainly because his curses were turning the air blue.

...

But one day after that, Percy was being careless, even more so than usual. He hurried out from Ffarquhar Sheds and grinned at Gordon and James. "I say! You engines! I'm to take some trucks to Thomas's junction."

"Ah." said Gordon. "This is of course different from the many times previous that you have taken trucks there, right?"

"It is! Thank you for noticing. The Fat Controller chose me especially! He must know that I'm a really useful engine!"

"More than likely he wants you out the way." James said bluntly. James had, in a rarity for him, hit the nail smack on the head with that one, but Gordon shushed him. He looked across to James, and both of them began making a plan.

"James and I-" James grinned to back Gordon's statement up. "-were just talking, funnily enough, about signals at the junction. See, you can't be too careful with signals, but then, we don't need to mention that to such a clever-" Percy swelled with pride "-understanding-" More swelling occurred "-wise and really useful engine like you Percy." Percy felt, among other emotions, flattered.

"We were just talking about BACKING signals." said James, hit with one of those rare brilliant flashes of intelligence that only can come from the mind of a completely self-centered twit. Gordon grinned and winked to James, with his dodgy eye. "And they need extra special care indeed! Isn't that right Gordon?"

"It is indeed, James!"

"Would you like me to tell you about them Percy?" James and Gordon knew how to work someone. Gordon offered honey covered bait, and James provided the hook. Percy, bolstered by the taste of the praise, grinned.

"No thank you James! I know all about signals!" He ignored Thomas snickering to himself quietly. The blue engine rushed around the corner in order to leave before giving the scam away. Percy was worried.

I wonder what backing signals are? he thought as he puffed off.

The two engines waited until Percy was gone to burst out laughing.

"Oh, no thank you James! I know all about signals!" Gordon mocked.

"Yeah, except for the signals that he's being FOOLED!" cackled James, and this in turn set Gordon off.

Toby, observing this from afar, realized that the two engines had crossed the point of no return with regards to their sanity.

...

"Never mind!" Percy said to himself as he passed the ruins of the castle and Thomas, again. "I'll manage- Thomas!? You were just in front of me a minute ago!"

"Loop line!" Thomas said cheerfully. Percy was not aware that Thomas had successfully set up Gordon and his express coaches to see what was about to occur. Percy pushed that odd tidbit aside, he puffed crossly to his trucks and soon felt much better.

It would not be a feeling that he would feel for the rest of the day.

...

He came to a signal and glared at it. "Bother! It's at danger!" He looked ahead, it was not too far away until Dryaw, and here he was stuck at Elsbridge. It was a damn shame.

The signal moved to show line clear. It's arm moved up instead of down. Percy started backwards, he had never seen a signal do that before. Mr Carlin, his driver, was busy talking to the fireman of certain things that Percy...did not understand involving human women. This meant that Percy was left to work out his insane logic in his own head.

"Down means go, and up means stop! So upper still...must mean go back! Ah HA! I know, it's one of those backing signals!" Percy prided himself on his smarts. Carlin finally looked up and started.

"Oh ****!" he swore. "Come on Percy, off we go!" He stared in shock as Percy went backwards. "STOP YOU FOOLISH ******* ENGINE! YOU'RE GOING THE WRONG BLOODY WAY!"

"But-But it's a backing signal." said Percy in a protesting manner.

"THE **** IS A BACKING SIGNAL!?" Carlin snapped.

Percy told him about Gordon and James. Carlin laughed, and explained, though he felt like he was back in Henry's cab for a bit after seeing the thunderstruck look on Percy's face.

"Oh...Oh...OH DEAR!" Percy gasped in shock. "Let's start quickly before they notice-"

POOP POOP!

It was too late. Gordon had seen everything, and was howling with laughter.

Percy stayed still for a few minutes, his mind going into overdrive trying in vain to work out just where exactly he had gone wrong. Then, at last, he puffed on, pulling under the Elsbridge...bridge.

...

That night, the big engines talked of nothing but signals. Percy, having been kicked out temporarily by Thomas, was not in the mood for it. They thought the subject funny. And Percy thought they were being silly.

Even as Edward and Toby laughed, they were a little worried.

"This is going to be a bootlace incident for weeks." groaned Edward.

"There's going to be so many damn signal jokes." muttered Toby.

How right they were.