Chapter 3 - Go to the North Pole

Barbara tapped her foot as she, Brian and Stewie waited in line at the mall. The clock read 9:55 pm. They had been waiting for over two hours.

"Doesn't the mall close soon?" Brian asked. 'We've been here forever."

"Would you relax?" Stewie asked. "We're right here. I'm next."

The kid currently sitting on Santa's lap left with his mom, giving Stewie the chance to finally talk to Santa.

"Hello, Santa", he said. "Now, we got a slight problem here because I have been rather naughty. But you're a business man, I'm a business man. I'm sure we can…work something…out."

Stewie pulled a dollar from his pocket, holding it in front of Santa with a smile. Santa checked his watch before posting up a sign that read "Closed to feed the reindeer. See you tomorrow!" he said nothing as he got up and left.

"Hey, what are you doing?" Stewie asked. "Santa, you can't leave now!"

"What do you think you're going?" Barbara asked. "Can't you wait for one measly minute and take a picture with the kid?"

"Hey, buddy!" Brian spoke up. "We've been in line for like two hours."

"Sorry, I'm done", Santa said. "If you want your kid to sit on my lap, meet me at the bar at Applebee's."

"Oh, that sucks!" Brian said as Santa walked away. "Sorry, Stewie."

"Don't let it get you down", Barbara said. "We can come back tomorrow if you like."

"That son of a bitch!" Stewie said enraged. "He just turned his back on me, the way reality turned its back on Gary Busey!"

"Don't remind me", Barbara said. "I hate that smile of his. Come on, let's go home."

She picked up Stewie and carried him to the car. She looked at Brian who said nothing on the ride home.

"Hey, I know what'll cheer you guys up. When we get home, let's bake some cookies. I can fix up a cup of hot chocolate with marshmallows. Would you like that, Stewie?"

Stewie said nothing as he crossed his arms looking angry.

"Just leave him alone", Brian said. "He'll get over it."

Brian parked in the driveway when they arrived home. Stewie slammed the door open as he stomped upstairs.

"Hey, how was the mall?" Lois asked. "Did Stewie see Santa?"

"That guy was a douche", Barbara said. "The minute we got there, he left."

"Oh, Stewie must be so disappointed. Do you and Brian want to help? We're decorating the tree."

Everyone smiled as they opened the box of ornaments and started decorating the Christmas tree. Stewie came downstairs with a backpack and held out his hand to Brian.

"Give me your keys", he said. "I need your car."

"What?" Brian asked. "You're not taking my car."

"Stewie, you're one year old", Barbara said. "You can't drive."

"Very well", he said. "Then you guys are driving me."

He grabbed Brian's collar and pulled him toward the door.

"Driving you where?" Brian asked.

"To the North Pole to see Santa Claus. If that beslobbering onion maggot pie thinks he could just blow me off like that, he's got another thing coming!"

"Don't you think you're taking this a little too far?" Barbara asked.

"Look, Stewie, I know you're disappointed that you didn't get to see Santa", Brian said. "I'm not driving you to the North Pole."

"Everyone, Quagmire's niece is in the ICU", Lois said getting off the phone. "I think we should go down there to support him."

"What?" Brian asked.

"Yeah, apparently something happened at the mall and she took a turn for the worse. They don't know how much time she has left. Quagmire just called and he's really upset. It doesn't sound like he wants us there for some reason, but we'll go anyway."

"Alright, let's go to the North Pole", Brian said to Stewie.

"Yeah, we should leave", Barbara said.