Much thanks to all the reviewers.
Cue the theme!
...
Okay, so we're going to have to try something new today...we're going to have to recap what actually happened on the episode that was to recorded
That sounds complicated, but okay.
...
Donald and Douglas are twins. They had arrived from Scotland to help the Fat Controller, but only one engine had been expected.
That's the cliffnotes version.
In actuality, the Fat Controller had been grimly realizing that he needed more engines that were able to pull long loads of goods trains, especially as they entered the Autumn to Winter period, where passengers and cargo were piling up something fierce. So having sent for one engine, he had done a double take at the sight of twins. And failing to have gotten to the bottom of it, he had shrugged and decided to see which engine would preform better.
But then the incident of the coach had happened. A special coach, that had been specifically set aside for the Duke and Duchess of Boxford's arrival to see whether or not they should take up retreat there, had gone missing, according to the official story, it had accidentally been shunted elsewhere. Not helping matters was that the twins had swapped tenders in a attempt to cover up for the other engine.
It had not worked.
Therefore, the Fat Controller was now tossing a dice back and forth to see which one he should send away. The twins meant well, he was sure, but they did cause confusion. Not just because they were twins, but because their accents were so thick it was like trying to get information from them in Gaelic.
Eventually, he had resolved to give them numbers, Donald 9, Douglas 10. And even so, he still planned to send one engine home. It was not a prospect he relished.
...
As for the others, they mostly got on with the Scottish twins. There had been friction from Gordon and Henry towards them at first, but that had been sorted out when it was clear that neither twin would take crap. Donald had even gone as far to threaten that he would "Rip tha bloody dome off and take it down to Glasgow and kick tha hell out of ye!". The rest of the engines got on well, especially Duck and Edward, who were both glad to get extra help.
But that didn't help with another incident.
Thomas one day whistled to Douglas, but was surprised to see that he didn't react. He was sitting in the yard, having a good long think sadly.
There was a brake-van in the yard, the brother of the one who had been killed while fighting Duck near the barber shop, that had taken a dislike to Douglas.
Things always went wrong when they had to take him out. His trains were late, and Douglas was blamed, so he began to worry that the Fat Controller's fat finger would be pointing at him.
Donald, his twin, was angry. And never be close to a angry Scot as the Spiteful fool found out when he buffered into him hardly."
"Yer a muckle nusiance!" said Donald.
"Muckle?"
"Don't change tha subject! It's to leave ye behind I'd be wantin!"
"You can't." said the van, smugly. "I'm essential."
"Och aye!? Yer're a bloody pain in the arse, that's what you are!" Donald burst out. "Ye're nothing but a bit o screeching an noise when all is said and done! Spite Douggie would ye, TAKE THAT!"
Donald rammed into the van with the force of a shotgun blast. "OH! OH! OH! I'll be onto the trade reps for that!" cried the van, who was able to dish it out, but not take it.
"And there'll be more comin, should ye misbehave yerself!"
...
The van behaved somewhat better after that, and Douglas seemed to relax more with this change in attitude. But then, one day, the inevitable happened. Donald had a accident.
I'll give you a moment to suspend your shock.
The rails were slippery, and he couldn't stop in time.
"Why tha hell have they been greasin up the tracks?!" He wailed. He didn't get a answer as he descended, tender first, into the nearby signalbox. Donald stared. "Now who put that there?!"
Everyone was annoyed, but the Fat Controller was most annoyed, particularly because he had been romancing a woman at the time of the incident and it had interrupted a very important moment for him.
"I AM disappointed with you Donald! I did not expect such, er...CLUMSINESS from you!" He glared angrily, stepped forward and tripped over a brick. Swearing, he staggered up. "I had decided to send Douglas back and keep you!"
"I'm sorry sir." said Donald, though not too convincingly.
"I should think so too! You've upset my arrangements." Hatt looked mournful for a moment. "In more ways than one! Now while you have to get your tender mended, I'll have to get someone else to handle the work...the only one to do that is James! Do you know how TERRIBLE he is going to be for the next few days?! He won't like that."
...
"Goddamn trucks! Goddamn rails! Goddamn Scotland! Goddamn twins! Goddamn EVERYTHING!"
The Fat Controller was right, as you could tell, James grumbled dreadfully. And could not go one moment without getting roundly mocked for how badly he was taking it.
He angrily buffed down on the trucks in Tidmouth yard, noticing with horror that Henry, Gordon and Douglas were gathered around, playing cards while they waited for their next job. All three exchanged mischievous looks.
"Anyone would think-" said Douglas loudly. "-that Donald had his accident on purpose! I hear tell of a engine and some taarrr wagons."
"SHUT UP! SHUTUPSHUTUPSHUTUP!" James screamed. "IT'S! NOT! FUNNY!" To say he was frazzled would be a understatement. He didn't like being reminded of his own accident.
"WELL WELL WELL!" gasped Douglas in shock, as both Henry and Gordon began out-right laughing. "Surely James, it wasnae you!? You dinnae say-"
But James didn't say, because he had already began to start moving, for if he didn't, he would have very likely killed Douglas where he stood. He slouched sulily away to start his slow goods train.
Douglas laughed along with the other two. "Ah, well lads, seems I'm to be off! I'll see ye all at the Sidings, first pint's on me!" Henry and Gordon cheered as Douglas headed off towards Edward's station.
...
"He's cross!" sniggered the Spiteful Brake-Van as they made their way past the ruins of the castle. "Shall we make him crosser still!?"
"Hold back!" giggled the trucks hysterically.
James was doing his best, but by the time he reached Edward's station, he was exhaused and had a face as red as his paintwork. He clearly needed some form of exercise, but lucky for him, Douglas was already there, filling up on coal.
"He-Help me...help me up the hill please?!" panted and begged James as he wheezed. "These trucks are playing tricks, and I don't think I need another repeat of what happens to me on Gordon's Hill with trucks!"
Douglas was nothing if not gracious. "We'll show them!" he said confidently.
The Scostengine rushed back down to the back of the train, and was coupled up. Edward gave him a brief bit of advice. "If you have to, you need to show a bit of force. Most engines up front think that they don't need to bother with a bank engine behind them. You need to be strong enough to force the trucks up." and then slowly but surely, both James and Douglas, snorting furiously, forced the trucks up the hill.
...
Then there was trouble.
James was rapidly losing steam as he tried to force his way up there. "I can't...I can't do it!" he whimpered in agony as he strained hard.
Douglas growled, grit his teeth and dug in tight. "Lae it to me!" he shouted.
"You want me to lay you? I'm not a chicken!"
"No, I mean-"
The guard was anxious. He stared at the floor of the van, who was spitefully holding on. "Er, go safely, the van's breaking!"
"Well duh. I'm a brake-van-" The van suddenly did a double take in horror. "LET GO, LET GO!" He screamed to the trucks, but James was stuck in place thanks to their tricks, and suddenly, Douglas dashed forward beyond his control and...
Well it was over quickly. The van was in crumpled pieces that lay around the track.
No one had been seriously hurt, save for the van, and Edward soon arrived to clear the mess. And onboard, was the Fat Controller. He stared in complete horror as the dented remains of the brake-van was towed away. Douglas was staring in shock at the remains.
"OH! I might have BLOODY known it would be Douglas." Hatt wailed.
"Douglas was grand sir." piped up Edward. "James had hardly enough steam left, but Douglas puffed hard enough for three! I heard him from my yard! He's a fine engine! ...And it was my fault, I probably emphasized pushing a lot more than I should have."
"Two engines would have been well enough!" grimaced the Fat Controller. He sighed. "I want to be fair Douglas...but...Oh I don't know. I just...don't know."
He paused and hands in pockets, he strolled back down the hill. The Fat Controller was making up his mind about...something. But that's another story,