Love Triangle
Chapter 9. Love
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What is love?
I'm not sure… After all, I've never actually taste the flavor of true love.
Is it sweet? Is it kind? Is it wonderful like everyone said?
I don't know, and I might never know.
Because as far as I know, I'm useless.
I'm not worth for the bright trophy that stand on top of everything.
I can't learn, with my dumb, small-minded brain.
I'm not clever, I can't think of tricks and tips.
I'll never be confident enough to dance, to sing, to perform on a big stage.
I have no talent to my name.
I can't even look like the gender that I am.
I'm just a nobody.
And this cruel, lopsided world don't need a nobody.
They want somebody, somebody that can learn, that is clever, that can dance and sing and perform confidently.
Somebody with talent.
If you're not somebody, you're just going to live and die, unhappily.
To receive no love or regconition.
But, everyone, everyone, wants to be somebody, somebody worthy of being alive.
Sometimes they try.
And sometimes they are being pushed.
Me, I've been pushed so far off that cliff, I'm falling.
Falling with pain, even when I haven't touch the bottom.
The tears that I shed are meaningless now, because I'm falling anyhow.
I can't even be at the brim, and hatred that is used to push me is heavy.
How heavy?
Undescribable.
I was sure that hell, for me, was going to be horrible.
But it's not.
Hell was… friendly.
Strangely nice.
I have fun.
And everything was going fine.
And I've found love.
But love… is it this obsessive?
Is it this scary?
To think about the person all day and night non-stop?
So much like you're being drive away from reality to focus on your love?
To feel like being hypnotize, to feel like you're being brainwash?
My heart is burning.
Why? Is this love for me?
Is this all I deserve?!
Is this it?!
NO! I'm sick of it! I'm sick of all of it!
If love is like this… I prefer to be rotting away in some basement…
Why must I feel so trap?
But of course… I'm so clueless…
That I probably don't even know I'm growing crazy inside.
But I know, deep down in the back of my mind I know…
That memory,…
Of something red…
Sunset…
I know it means something...
I know.
My conciousness just haven't realized it yet.