To all the reviewers, once again, I thank you! And welcome back...
Cue the theme.
...
Mr Starr, you look perturbed. Something up?
Hmmm? Oh it's nothing Steve.
If you're sure...
...
"Okay, so here's my question Toby."
"Yes?"
"What is a diesel railcar? I mean, I get the diesel part but-"
"Oh, it's a sort of...uh...well, it's a extra long diesel, right, like Gordon size. With me so far?"
"Yes..."
"Right. Now instead of having to pull coaches and worry about all that, passengers can go inside her, because they've put seats in there...odd thing really."
"So it's a bus on rails."
"In simplified terms, yes...wonder what he'll be like."
"Or she."
Toby and Percy turned the second to last corner of the track leading to Elsbridge. They had had two of the nicest days of their stay on the Island, not least because a certain blue puffball had been dragged off to the works. The peace had been slightly overpowering, and both had taken the opportunity to sleep in to the appropriate time instead of being waken up a hour before they were supposed to by the over-compensating Thomas. That wasn't to say they didn't miss him, they just missed him in the way that two people miss a particularly loud puppy. Oh sure, they'll miss him eventually, but the first few days are practically euphoric.
"Ssssh, here he is!" The two engines put on faces that were suitiable to be seen at a funeral and sidled up quietly, giving the impression that they were worried about the fact that Thomas's recent accident had caused a great deal of trouble.
The Fat Controller, while reading the Sodor Weekly and frowning at something, glanced up and placed the paper down. "Here-" he said "-is Daisy. The diesel railcar who has come to help while Thomas is, er, disposed."
Both engines looked over, and jumped. Daisy fluttered some incredibly long eyelashes (That were too long to be real) and winked. Percy felt the heat of his fire rush to his wheels and Toby tried to stop himself from doing something stupid.
"Well allo." she said in what was apparently a exotic French accent. Toby frowned, the fact that it sounded more like Essex to his ears broke the spell a tad. "I am sure zat I will get to know you all in good time." She licked her lips, and Toby swallowed to try and remove the sudden feeling of terror in his stomach.
"It's nice to-" he coughed. "-meet you too. I'm Toby and he's-"
"The engine of your dreams." said Percy dreamily. He had never seen a engine of the female persuasion, and it showed. Toby groaned.
"He's Percy. Also, a complete prat. Pay no attention to him."
"Oh I don't know." Daisy practically leered at him. "I think zat he's cute." She said cute in the way that humans said "Slip into something more comfortable."
Hatt felt as though he had rapidly lost control of the conversation. "AHEM!" All three's attentions snapped back to him. "Thank you. Now, any questions?"
"Please sir." said Percy. "Will she go sir, when Thomas comes back sir?"
"That depends." said the Fat Controller, who had the oddest feeling that Percy meant both that he was worried for Thomas and that he hoped very much that Daisy didn't leave. "Meanwhile, however long she stays, I hope you will both make her welcome and comfortable."
"Yes sir! We'll try sir!" said the engines, though Toby said it with a tad more reluctance.
"Good, run along now and show her the shed. She will want to rest after her journey" As they left, Hatt wiped his brow and went to his car. He turned to his girlfriend. "God in heaven Alice, this railway is going to kill me."
"You need to rest." Alice put her hand on his and he grinned mischeviously. "How about we take this baby for a spin?"
"Why not! Only young once...which reminds me, what do you think of women in the workforce?"
Alice raised a eyebrow. "They should be in it? Shouldn't be a concern in this day and age...I do hope you're not sexist."
"No!" Hatt said hurriedly. "Just a bit worried...well, there were a couple of rail cars you see...most of them were very good, and dare I say it, even better than Daisy. But a couple of the papers said I have something against women, so rather rashly, I put Daisy ahead of the males...I don't think one should hire just for the hell of it. You should know if you can rely on that engine first, you know what I mean?"
"Honey, you're getting on your soapbox."
"You're right." Hatt slammed his foot on the accelerator, and they were off. "Born to be WILD!"
This meant that he was not around for the palaver that followed.
He would have wished he was.
...
Percy had taken off rather quickly, so quick that Toby had had to steam hard to keep up with him.
"And here, Daisy-" simpered Percy. "-is the shed!" His eyes gestured to the large shed that stood proud and tall. It was rarely used by most of the engines, for the fact that there were much better sheds that were going. But it was decent enough. There were no rats, almost no leaks and the fact that it was rather close to the trucks soon became less of a factor as you tuned them out.
But Daisy was hard to please. She shuddered at the engine shed. "This is dreadfully smelly, ain't it?!" she snapped, french accent dying a horrific death. "I'm highly sprung, and anything smelly is bad for my swerves!"
Toby and Percy shared a look that indicated exactly what they thought of that. It can't be repeated her, for fear that impressionable young children may read it and carry it out.
"Yes Daisy." said Toby in vain patience, as he had spent the past five minutes patiently listening to Daisy flirt with Percy, Percy take it like a chump and then get talked down to by the diesel railcar. "It does smell. Most things have a smell."
"Well this smell is...UNAPPEALING." Daisy said, as though this was the be-all and end-all of criticisms. Neither engine dared to argue any more, so they took off in search of a new place-
...
-which turned out, thanks to one of the longest loops of Toby's life, right next to the engine shed.
"Percy!" Toby whispered in bafflement. "Did...we could have just backed out if you were going to bring us here!"
"And miss my chance?!" Percy seemed less sure of his chances now as they approached the Carriage Shed. Daisy cast her eyelashes over the shed, which looked somewhat rickety, and neither engine decided to point out the fact that the carriage shed's walls were non existant, unlike the engine shed.
"Better." admitted Daisy. "Homely. But what on earth are those orrible rubbish!?"
"Those." said Toby with more of that patience that refused to die. "Are carriages...they typically reside in a carriage shed."
The rubbish turned out to be Annie, Clarabel and Henrietta, who were most insulted.
"We won't stay here to be insulted!" They fumed.
"Go home and I'll do it there then!" laughed Daisy coarsely. Toby and Percy stared at each other with frozen grins, the kind of grins that indicated that they knew that they were on a death march but showing weakness would be punishable by jackboot up the chassis.
They had to take the coaches away, and therefore spent half the night soothing their hurt feelings.
Daisy, meanwhile, enjoyed a relaxed evening resting in the shed.
...
The two engines crawled into the engine shed at five in the morning. As morning dawned, both were exhausted. Percy, whose desire had died a quick death, was practically ready to strangle Daisy as he saw a hour later that she was now back in the engine sheds.
"And what-" said Toby through clenched teeth. "-was wrong with the carriage shed?"
"Too...empty."
Toby moaned and tried to go back to sleep. Daisy, feeling bright and cheerful, began to move. "Ooooo! Ooo!" she moaned as she showed off her swerves, coming out of the yard and heading back to the station.
Both engines looked at each other. Neither wanted to speak.
"So to clarify." Toby said darkly. "The Fat Controller's plan to rid us of a loud, arrogant, pushy and attention seeking train...was to give us a loud, arrogant, pushy and attention seeking train."
"Fair trade." Percy said with words practically dripping in sarcasm. "The fact that she's a she makes it completely different, doesn't it?"
"Oh..." groaned Toby. "Isn't it your turn to get the milk van?"
"It's a tanker now." Percy sobbed hysterically. "And you're right! It is!"
"Brave heart Percy!" Toby sighed as he settled back to sleep.
There was silence. The distinct absence of Percy leaving filled Toby's cab.
"OH FINE!" Toby snarled as he puffed off.
...
"Look at me!" Daisy purred to the passengers. Among them were Mrs Kyndley, Jerimiah Jobling and, on his holiday, Inspector Norris. "I'm ze latest diesel. Highly sprung and right up to date! You won't want Thomas's bumpy old Annie and Clarabel now! I'm revolutionary!"
The passengers, always excited to see a new attraction at the freak show that was the North Western Railway, waited for Daisy to start. But she didn't. For she had seen Toby, looking grim and determined to ignore Daisy at all costs, was pushing a milk va-tanker, to be coupled up to her. Daisy was most indignant.
"Do they expect me to pull that?!" She said in shocked rage, accent once more falling off.
"Surely." said her driver, used to this by now. "You can pull one van...tanker...thing."
"I can...but I WON'T!" said Daisy. "Percy can do it! He loves messing around with trucks, how else could he ignore such a ravishing creature as myself!?"
"It's a bloody mystery." muttered her driver. She began to shudder violently. "Nonsense!" he said. "Now come on!" He angrily jerked the door open and grabbed at the controls. "BACK! DOWN!"
She did. Daisy lurched backwards, and did so in such a cross mood that she blew a fuse. The passengers stared at each other, words failing them at the sight of a full blooded rebellion. "Told you!" she snapped and stopped completely.
Everyone argued with her, but it was no use.
"It's fitters orders, innit!"
"What is!?" asked Inspector Norris, pushing to the front of the crowd. Kyndley and Jobling looked wearily at each other. How hard would it be, they asked themselves, to just catch a train?
"My fitter is a VERY nice man. He comes every week and examines me carefully and in great detail!"
Toby, waiting patiently for the end of the argument, laughed loudly, not caring how rude he sounded.
"And he says, "Daisy! Never, never pull! You're highly sprung, and pulling is bad for your swerves!" So that's, how it is." finished Daisy.
"Are you sure he didn't say highly strung?" asked Toby innocently. The screech did nothing to quell the laughter.
"Stuff and nonsense!" said Norris, who had taken the place of the stationmaster on account of the stationmaster having given up.
"I can't understand it!" said the nearest shunter. "Whatever made the Fat Controller send us such a feeble-"
It was the wrong word to say the least. "Feeb- FEEBLE!?" screamed Daisy, shattered a nearby window. "LET ME AT YOU!"
"Oh come on!" wailed the passengers. "Stop arguing! We're late already!"
And to Toby's absolute thunderstruck shock, they uncoupled the milk thingy, got in her and Daisy purred away feeling very pleased with herself. She was the only one, and the passengers would go on a major rant once this trip was done.
"That's a good story!" she chuckled as she crossed the tier bridge. "I'll do just what work I'll choose and no more!"
But she said this to herself.
...
Toby stared desolately.
He then turned back to the shed and promptly told Percy in no uncertain terms that for the next day, Percy was doing Toby's jobs, and that it was the least he owed him. Percy would have argued, but seeing the usually patient and calm Toby twitching and on the verge of beating him down told him that would be most un-wise.