To all the reviewers, once again, I thank you! And welcome back...
Cue the theme.
...
Okay, you're going to tell me eventually...
Tell you after we're done recording.
...
Daisy the diesel railcar's work in the country was full of surprises to say the least. She was not only afraid of bulls and cows, but she remained very lazy and stubborn, refusing to do anything other than take passengers. In doing so, she had driven Toby and Percy to near madness. It was becoming a frequent thing now for enginesi n the yard to see Percy biting down hard on a piece of chewing gum, as if trying to bite Daisy's head off, or to see Toby suddenly blow up angrily at one truck in particular after a long night of dealing with Daisy and her ego.
Not only that, but fate had conspired together to bring Gordon and Daisy together. This nightmare-ish team of ego could only have been worse if it had been James. Rumors that perhaps the two were flirting and/or starting a relationship had left the entire railway rife with gossip.
One day, Toby brought Henrietta to the sheds, to witness Percy grumpily shunting trucks and coaches with the same amount of calm and patience that a bull might see upon spotting a platoon of Beefeaters all standing in a row.
Toby watched in dark amusement as Percy began thrashing the nearest truck for a good two minutes before smoothly speaking. "Hello Percy."
"HELLO TOBY!" said Percy loudly. "NICE WEATHER ISN'T IT!?" Finally stopping his attack, he took a deep breath of air and sighed.
"I see Daisy's left the milk AGAIN." Toby had got used to this, though he was beginning to get a little fraught with the farmers who always blamed he and Percy for how late their milk was.
"Oh! I'll have to make a special journey for it, I suppose!" snarled Percy, glaring at the milk tanker as though it had personally come to life and taken three days of his life away from him. "Anyone would think I have nothing better to do with my life! Ye gods, I thought I was actually going to be doing things that didn't involve me getting trains for the big twits!"
"Tell you what." said Toby kindly, as he was feeling somewhat disposed to take pity on Percy. "I'll take the milk, you fetch my trucks from the quarry. It'll get you out of the yards for a bit and it'll give you a chance to do something non-Daisy related for a change."
Their drivers, and the Stationmaster agreed, and both engines set off for their important tasks.
"Toby?"
"Hmm?"
"Where is the quarry from here?"
"Oh balls."
...
Once Percy had gotten proper directions (And after several moments where he realized he was going in the wrong direction) he arrived at the quarry. He had never really been here before, aside from briefly stopping by one time before his race with Harold, so he wasn't exactly used to the attitudes of the ruder trucks located here. Quarries were places where good manners, clean language and decency came to die.
He began to order the trucks around. "Come along! Get into order! You there! Fix that face of yours, it's bugging me!"
Percy had not learned much from the Wharf debacle. If anything, he seemed to be regressing.
The trucks grumbled to each other like a bunch of old cockney and illiterate housewives. "Dis is Toby's place!" They moaned, having no care for grammar. "Percy's got no right to poke his big fat green nose here!"
"E can't push around! E's a very naught boy!"
"Wrong story, matey."
They whispered and passed the word. Not literally, there wasn't a giant word that was going to be passed around repeatedly like a game of pass the parcel. "PAY PERCY OUT!" Someone played a harmonica. "PAY PERCY OUT!" Another blast from the harmonica.
Before an entire ditty about paying Percy out could start, Percy puffed past having angrily punched a truck minding it's own business in the face. "HA! TAKE THAT DAISY! Come along! None of your nonsense now!"
"We;ll give im nonsense all right!" laughed the trucks, and Percy didn't hear them because he was currently taking his frustrations out on the buffers.
"WHY! DON'T! THESE! STUPID! THINGS! WORK!"
Once he had finished that and tried to hold on to the very small part of his dignity left, Percy was coupled up to the trucks and at first, they followed so quietly that Percy thought they were under control.
Again, his intelligence had taken a hit over the past few days. But to be fair, listening to Daisy'll kill a lot of braincells that were just hanging around for no reason. He passed the scrapyard, and began to entertain a rather dark fantasy that he had had over the past few days of shoving certain engines into the crusher.
He hadn't had much sleep, come to think of it.
Suddenly, they saw a notice ahead. 'HOUSE FOR SALE'.
It was then that they saw a relevant notice. 'ALL TRAINS STOP TO PIN DOWN BRAKES. THAT MEANS YOU. DON'T IGNORE THIS JUST TO SPITE US.'
"Peep peep! Brakes, guard please!"
There was silence for a moment, before the fireman turned to Mr Carlin. "Sir?"
"Yeah?"
"We didn't get a guard."
"Well **** my donkey."
And the trucks surged forward.
"Oh THIS IS NOT HOW I WANTED THIS DAY TO GO!" wailed Percy.
"ON! ON! ON!" They yelled.
"Help! Help!" whistled Percy. As they neared the signalbox, Inspector Norris rushed out waving a red flag to try and alert traffic. But unfortunately, he was too late to switch Percy onto the runaway siding!
Frantically as he tried to grip the rails, Percy skidded into the yard. "Oh please don't let there be anything! Please just let it be a nice loop-" He stared in horror at the larger than usual brake-van. "Peep Peep! Look out!"
As he hurtled towards it, many thoughts came to mind about potential last words that would be grand and epic.
"I NEVER GOT TO SEE FRANCE!"
Those were not them. There was a crunch as the brake-van disintegrated.
Seconds later, the brake-van was in less than smithereens. Carlin and the fireman had jumped clear, having had plenty of practice, but Percy was stranded like a beached whale on the remains of said van.
...
The next day, the Fat Controller arrived to see a very cold Percy. Toby and Daisy had arrived to help and clear up the mess, but Percy remained on his perch of trucks. He looked depressed to say the least.
"We must now try-" said the Fat Controller. "-to run the branch line with Toby and a diesel-" He paused. "Not that there's anything wrong with diesels, to clarify! You've put us in a awkward predicament, Percy."
"I am sorry sir." Percy said quietly.
"You can stay there until we are ready. Perhaps it can teach you to be careful with trucks. For once."
Percy sighed. The trucks groaned beneath his wheels. He quite understood about awkward predicaments. "Sir, may I just tell you something?"
"What is it now?!" Hatt was angry. "You've already cost us a day's work!"
Percy took a deep breath. "Sir, with the greatest of respect...F**k you.
F**K YOU SIDEWAYS, IF I CAN BE SO BOLD. GO TO HELL SIR, I HAVE HAD A CRAP DAY MYSELF! You think I like being stuck on a stack of trucks, you fat f**k SIR?! YOU THINK THAT I ENJOY THIS!? I WOULDN'T EVEN BE IN THIS STUPID GODDAMN MESS IF YOU HADN'T BROUGHT THAT S**T WORKER OF A RAILCAR OVER HERE! WHO THE HELL DO YOU THINK HAS BEEN DOING ALL THE WORK!? HER?! IT'S NOT! IT'S BEEN ME! ME ME ME ME ME ME! I HAVE LITERALLY STOOD BY AND TAKEN EVERYONE S**T OVER THIS YEAR, AND FOR WHAT?! SO I CAN HAVE INDIGNITY ON INDIGNITY SHOVED ON ME?! YOU WANT TO RANT AT SOMEONE AND FORCE A UNUSUAL PUNISHMENT ON THEM, THAT RAILCAR SHOULD BE FIRST IN LINE! BUT NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO, WE CAN'T HAVE THAT CAN WE, MR FAT ASS F**K CONTROLLER! GO! TO! HELL! SIR!"
The final scream promptly broke the sound barrier.
In the long silence that followed, no one really knew what to say to that. The fireman had literally buried his head in the sand. The trucks were staring slack-jawed and made a vow that for the rest of the year they'd never get Percy this annoyed ever. Daisy's eyes were wider than plates. Toby, either because of the amount of alcohol he had been drinking or the nerves, started giggling hysterically.
The Fat Controller's face had gone white. He turned to Carlin, who looked as though the bottom had fallen out of his world. "I...I don't know where he gets it from." he lied.
After a brief pause to collect himself, Hatt patted Percy awkwardly on the boiler. "There there, Percy, we'll get you down in three minutes." He leaned towards Norris. "How much morphine did you give him?"
"A lot."
"Ah." He then turned his attention to Daisy. "Well...Percy just said some things." He wiped his brow. He had never sweated so much as before Percy's rant. "My engines work hard! I send lazy engines away!"
"James's existence clearly says you don't." Toby said mutinously.
"TOBY. NOT NOW."
Daisy was ashamed. Or she was a really good actress.
"However." Hatt continued. "Toby said that you worked hard after Percy's accident."
"Did I?" asked Toby to no one in particular.
"So you shall have another chance."
"Thank you sir!" said Daisy gratefully. "I will work hard sir! Toby said he'll help me."
"I DID?!" shouted Toby to no one in particular.
"Good! What Toby doesn't know about trucks isn't worth knowing. Our Toby's a experienced engine."
Toby was puzzled. Should he feel grateful or used?
...
The next day, Thomas came back. He looked as though he'd had one too many morphine shots as well. "Damn it!" he shouted. "Where's my goddamn crossword!?"
Percy was sent to be mended.
"So...sideways?"
"Shut up Toby."
"Mr Fat Ass Controller?"
"Shut up Toby. I WAS IN PAIN."
"I'm not denying that. It was pretty bad though."
"IT GOT ME TO THE WORKS, DIDN'T IT!?"
Toby rolled his eyes and smirked. "Talk to you later Thomas." He puffed away, pulling Percy on a flatbed, and he wasn't sure which was groaning most. Annie and Clarabel were pleased to see Thomas again.
It didn't last long. But he took them for a run at once, so there was that.
All of the engines are now friends, though they still sometimes bicker. Make that all the time, but in a good way. Daisy and Percy seem to have made up, mostly. Toby had taught Daisy a great deal, when she wasn't blowing kisses to a unusually flustered Gordon. She shooed a cow off the line the other day. That shows you, doesn't it?
...What it shows you, however, is still unknown.