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Maddie laid on her dad's bed, not moving. She heard Scarlett get up and walk to the door, slowly opening it and closing it again as she left the room.
She let out her breath, feeling Daphne beside her, her breathing even as she slept. It felt like they had cried for hours-she had never thought about what it meant that someone was inconsolable, but this must be it. There was nothing Scarlett or her dad or Juliette or anyone could say to make this okay.
Maddie wasn't sure she'd ever be able to sleep again. Why had she left the hospital like that? All those hours she spent with Clay? They were the last hours of her mom's life and she hadn't been there.
She choked down a sob and rolled on her side, her back to Daphne.
Ever since she'd found out about Deacon being her dad, she'd dreamed of having that family, of Deacon and her mom being together, but when it happened, she never appreciated it. She took it all for granted, always thinking it would still be there when she came back, just like her mom would be there when she got to the hospital.
But nothing is life was guaranteed. What would she do now?
Maddie got up and went into the bathroom, splashing some water on her face. She had been lying in bed, awake for what felt like hours.
She slipped out into the hall, to get a glass of water. As she stepped into the kitchen, she saw the light on in the living room. Her dad was asleep on the couch. She stopped, not wanting to disturb him.
So much had happened since that day she found the results of her paternity test. As a girl, her mom hadn't ever talked much about Deacon, other than he was a friend and he had always been around, in the band, on the road when her mom was touring. But the wayTeddy acted around him, she knew something wasn't normal-Teddy didn't treat Bucky the way he treated Deacon and Bucky was around all the time, too.
It was hard to understand what had happened, how they had lived that lie for so many years, but Maddie knew her mom had her reasons. Being with Clay now, she understood how complicated it could be to love someone who had big personal demons like her dad did.
She felt her breath catch as she thought about the conversation she'd had with her mom in the kitchen only a few days ago. She had never really thought about what it meant that her mom had loved her dad so much when he was drinking.
She looked at Deacon and a wave of pain washed over her. Would he be able to handle this? Would this horrible thing make him drink again like it did when he found out about her?
Deacon stirred on the couch and sat up. He looked over at her and held his hand out. "C'mere."
She crossed the room and sat down next to him. She had no idea, what to say, how to share all of her fears. She choked out "How can she be gone?"
Her dad looked at her and shook his head. "I don't know."
She wanted to tell him how afraid she was, but couldn't put voice to her fears for him. Instead she leaned against him and said "I don't want to be here without her."
He offered to take her home, but that wasn't what she meant. She didn't want to be at this place in their lives, in a world without her mom-not just for her, but for Daphne, for her dad.
"No, I don't want to be anywhere without her," she explained.
Deacon leaned down and kissed the top of her head. "Me neither, sweetie...me neither."
He pulled her tight in his arms and held her.
And finally...finally she slept.
The first thing she heard was the voice. It was singing. She followed it out of her room, down the hall and to the top of the stairs. She paused. She wanted to follow the sound, to find out who was singing.
But she already knew. It was her mom. She started to go down the steps, but then stopped. If she went down there, her mom would be gone. She was gone. If she stayed here, maybe she could still hear the voice singing.
Maddie sat up, the smell of coffee hanging in the air. She could hear the sound of her dad talking to Scarlett on the porch. The dream held on, she could still feel her mom there. She sat for a moment, trying to decide what to make of it. She knew what her mom would want her to do-she would want her to take care of her dad. She would be there for him, like her mom had been. She could do that.
TBC