Lost Hope
Chapter 12
On the helicopter, Desmond is looking out the window while Frank is piloting the helicopter, with Sayid looking on, I turned my head and looked at Desmond putting my hand on his shoulder, he turns his head and smiles at m grabbing my hand. Frank is looking at a piece of notebook paper with a compass bearing on it.
"What's that?" Sayid asked him
"Cheat sheet Faraday drew for me." Frank told him
"You don't know where your boat is?" Sayid asked.
"I know where it is." Frank said and suddenly the helicopter begins flying into a thunderhead.
"Why are you flying directly into the thunderhead?" Sayid asked him
"Why don't you just sit back and let me do my job, huh?"
Sayid looked at me, "What do you expect to find when you get there?"
"Answers." I said to him and the helicopter experiences turbulence and there's a lightning strike.
"Damn it!" Frank yelled and struggles to keep the copter steady.
"Hold on!" He yells and I feel Desmond grip my hand and I grabbed a handle on the other side of me.
Desmond POV...
"On your sodding feet, move, move, move!" I heard the drill sergant yell and I was slow at getting up.
"What are you waiting for, Hume?" He yells, I stand up and get into line.
"What's the matter, Hume? Did you not hear me?" Sergant asked me
"I'm sorry, sir. I was...I was having a dream, sir." I said staring forward.
"You were having a dream, were you? And what were you dreaming about, that it took you so sodding long to get to your mark?" He yells
"I was in a helicopter, sir. And there was a storm, sir. And I don't remember the rest, sir." I told him
"Well, at least it was a bloody military dream." He said then walked away, "Right! All of ya! In the yard, four minutes. And you can thank Private Hume for having to do it in double time. Move!"
Then we are out in the mud and rain, doing pushups.
"One, two, three!" the sergant said
"Four!" We all said back
"One, two, three!"
"Five!"
"One hundred crunches! Go, go, go, go, go!" The sergant yelled and we got into position.
"One, two three, four..." He yells.
"I hope your dream was worth this, mate." My friend said to me.
"Sorry brother. It's just that, I've never had a dream so vivid. It was like I was actually there." I told him
"Have you got something to say, Hume?"
I remained silent and the drill sergant yelled at me, "I asked you a question!"
Freya's POV...
I look over at Desmond who looks extremely disturbed and he pulls his hand away.
"We're almost through it. I see daylight!" Frank yelled
Desmond begins to unbuckle himself, "What are you doing? Desmond! Are you alright?" I yelled asked him
"Who are you? How do you know my name?!" He said to me and I looked at Sayid with a confused look.
"We're at two thousand feet, sit down!" Sayid said to him
"What am I doing here?!" Desmond yelled
"What the hell's going on?!" Frank asked not taking his eyes of the sky
"Something's wrong with Desmond!" I yelled to Frank
"How do you know my name?!" Desmond yelled at me
"Hold him there, Sayid!" Frank said
"I'm trying!" Sayid said trying to hold Desmond in his spot
"Let go of me!" Desmond yelled trying to fight Sayid
"Keep him away from the stick! We'll be there in two minutes!" Frank said
Then the helicopter veers down, and comes close to the freighter. Sayid lets Desmond go, and the helicopter lands. As two men run over, Sayid arms himself.
"What are you doing back?" The first guy asks
"Who are they?!" Asked the other
"Survivors of 815." Frank said to them
"You shouldn't have brought them here, what the hell were you thinking?!" The first guy said
"Alright, where am I?" Desmond asked
"Alright, just take it easy." the first guy says
"Alright, who are you people?" Desmond asked
"Whoa, buddy. Calm down." The second guy said to him
"What am I doing here? who are you people?" Desmond asked and Sayid stood in front of Desmond.
"My friend is disoriented!" Sayid said
"I'm not your friend! I don't know you! I don't know you!" Desmond yelled at Sayid
"When did he start doing this?" the first guy asked Frank
"He was fine when we took off. When we hit some weather... Hey, Faraday told me as long as I stayed on the vector -" but Frank was cut off when the first guy motioned for him to stay quiet. He and the other guy stepped toward Desmond, but are blocked by me and Sayid
"What's your name, my friends?" The first guy asked
"Sayid."
He looked at me, "Freya' I said
"Okay, Sayid and Freya. Look, we're going to take your buddy down to the sick bay, okay." The first guy said
"I'm going with you." I told him
"Let a doctor look at him first, then you can come down. You got my word on that, okay?" He said to me
"I'm a doctor and if anyone is going to take a look at him its me and if you have a problem with that thn shoot me right now." I said looking at both of them, the first guy smirks.
"Alright, you can come." He said.
The two guys move to approach Desmond.
"Alright." The first guy said to him
"Listen, listen. This is a mistake, alright?" Desmond said as we walked towards the ship.
"Settle down." the second guy said
"I don't know these people." Desmond said to him
"I understand." The second guy said.
"No, this is wrong! I'm not supposed to be—"
Desmonds POV...
"—here!" I suddenly appear in the rain, standing up while the rest of my regiment is doing crunches.
"Twenty, twenty-one, twenty-three..." A solider is counting
"Here? Here what? What the hell are you doing on your feet? Are you finished with your crunches, because you want to run?!" The sergant asked me. "Right! Squad, on your feet! Right face! Ten kilometers, go, go, go, go, go!"
"Keep moving, or so help me, I'll kill you myself!" Billy says to me.
Later on we are all loading a truck.
"What the hell's the matter with you, Des?" Billy asked me
"If I told you, you'd think I was crazy." I told him
"I already know you're crazy." He tells me with a smile
"This morning, when I was in the yard doing crunches, I left."
"What do you mean you left?" He asked
"I was on a boat. And then I was back here...right where I started." I said to him
"Des, if you're trying to get tossed out of service-" He said
"Billy, I'm telling you the truth, man." I said to him
"Who else was on this...boat? Anyone you recognized?"
"No, No one, there was this girl who seems to know me but I dont know who she is." I said remembering that woman who kept saying my name trying to calm me down. I get up and walk away.
"What? Oi, Des...where you going?" I hear billy yell at me but I didnt stop. Just then another soldier bumps into me
"Thanks for this morning, Hume."
Freya's POV...
I see Desmond almost fall over and Keamy grabs him.
"Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Watch your step. Watch your step. Take it easy."
"I'm not here. This...this isn't happening." Desmond says
"You are here. And, this is happening. Look, we're going to take care of you." Keamy told him.
"Wh-wh-what am I doing here?" Desmond asks
"It's alright, you're gonna be okay." Keamy says and we step into a doorway, and walk down a hallway.
"Who are you people?" Desmond asked
"Well, my name is Keamy, and this is Omar. I'm from Vegas and he's from Florida, but as for where we are, I—"
"The last port was Fiji. So at least we know we're still in the Pacific." Omar said cutting Keamy off opening a door, me and Desmond steps into the sick bay.
"Alright, my friend. Now you just relax, okay? Now, we're gonna go get the doc, and he's gonna want to ask you some questions to help us sort all this out."
"What do you mean, sort out? Wait a minute! What do you mean?" Desmond yells after them but Keamy slams and locks the door.
"I'm not supposed to be here!" Desmond says struggling with the door, "I'm not supposed to be here! Open this door! Open this door!"
All of a sudden we hear a voice, "Hey. Hey! Hey." we turn to see a man strapped to a bed. "It's happening to you too, isn't it?"
Desmond leans over the man, who is staring blankly into space. "Hey. Hey. Hey! Can you hear me? Are you alright? Hello?" The man blinks.
"I was just on a ferris wheel."
Just then the doctor enters the room and the man on the bed talks to him.
"See, Ray? I'm not crazy. It's happening to him too, Ray. And it's going to happen to you. It's going to happen to all of us. Everyone! Once we start heading to that Island again."
I see the doctor prepare a syringe, "Would you please step aside?" he asked Desmond.
"No, Ray, Ray, no." The man pleaded.
"I need you to relax for a minute."
"No! It's not going to stop it, Ray, nothing can stop it, Ray, nothing can stop it!" The man screamed and then the man is injected, and immediately relaxes.
the doctor turns to Desmond, "And how are you feeling?"
"What the bloody hell is going on?!" Desmond yelled.
"I understand, you're disoriented." He said
"You're not going to stick him with that!" I said to the doctor.
"I don't want to stick him with anything. It's okay, I just want to check your eyes."
"Why?"
"So I can help you." The doctor said and went to move to Desmond but I stood in front of him.
"If anyone is going to be checking on him it's me." I said reaching my hand out for his light, he sighed and handed it to me.
"Fine but I will still be asking queions" The doctor said to me and I nodded.
I turned around to face Desmond, "I know you're scared but If you will allow me to I'd like to make sure you are okay." I said to him and he paused but nodded.
"What's your name?" The doctor asked from over my shoulder
"Desmond."
"Desmond. Desmond, why don't you tell me about the last thing you remem—"
Just then I see something change in his eyes.
Desmond's POV...
"Did you just experience something, Desmond?" I asked him and he looked at me but then Frank and Sayid walk in.
"What the hell, Frank? You're not supposed to be down here, and definitely not with him." The doctor said to Frank and I stood up putting a hand on desmonds shoulder then turning to face Frank and Sayid.
"Sorry, doc, but I've got Faraday calling from the Island, and he needs to talk to this—"
"No, Faraday's not talking to my patient, now get out of here." The doctor said cutting Frank off.
"He's not your patient." I said and Sayid slams Ray to the wall.
"Hey!"
"Give Desmond the phone." Sayid told Frank and Ray sounds an alarm.
"Give him the phone now!" Sayid yelled
I see Desmond take the phone and Sayid closes the door.
"Hello?" Desmond says holding the phone and it's on speaker
"Desmond! Desmond, my name is Daniel Faraday. We met yesterday before you took off? But I'm guessing you don't remember that. Am I right?"
"Took off? What?" Desmond said trying to hear Daniel over the alarm
"Desmond, we don't have long to talk so I need you to tell me what year you think it is."
"What do you mean, what year do I think it — it's 1996!" Desmond yells and I looked at Sayid confused
"Alright, Desmond, Desmond look, you gotta tell me... where are you?"
"Um...um...I'm in some kind of sick bay..." He starts to say
"No, no, no, no. Not right now, Desmond. Where are you supposed to be. Where are you in 1996?"
"Uh, Camp Millar, it's a... Royal Scots Regiment, it's just north of Glasgow." He said and I looked over at him, I remember him telling me about that camp, I was with my friend when we were traveling Europe and we passed by there.
"Dan. You might wanna—" I hear jack say on the phone
"No, no, no. I'm thinking, I'm thinking. Desmond, listen. When it happens again, Desmond, I need you to get on a train. Get on a train and go to Oxford. Oxford University. Queens College Physics Department. Alright?"
"What, why?" Desmond asks
"Because I need you to find me." Daniel says. after a long pause Daniel comes back on. "Desmond, you still there?"
Sayid is still blocking the door and I'm still next to Desmond, behind there is yelling.
"Talk to him! I can't hold them for long." Sayid yelled.
"Yes! What've you got?" Desmond said
"Okay, Desmond, listen. When you find me at Queens College, I need you to tell me to set the device to 2.342."
"What?" Desmond said not understanding him
"Alright, you got it? 2.342! And it must be oscillating at 11 hertz. You got it Desmond?"
"2.342 and oscillating at eleven..." Desmond confirmed
"Just remember that. 2.342 and eleven hertz, alright? And one more thing, Desmond. If the numbers don't convince me, I need you to tell me that you know about Eloise."
Just then Keamy and Omar bust in.
"Hey, hey, hey! Take it easy..." Omar says to Sayid
"Desmond! Tell me that you know about Eloise!" Daniel says but before Desmond can repsond Keamy pushes me out of the way and snatches the phone away from Desmond.
Desmond POV...
Suddenly I'm back in 1996, I get on a train and travel to Queens College. I walk down a hall, and sees Daniel talking to a student.
"...not a single piece of original thinking. You do understand the concept of original, the opposite of derivative? Now I'm the one you need to impress, Mr. Hollister, and I'm not impressed. So go. Go try again." He says and the student walks away.
"Um, sorry. Are you Daniel Faraday?" I asked him
And you are...?"
"Um...sorry, I'm Desmond Hume, and um...I was told I could find you here. I think I've ... just been to the future." I said sounding crazy
"...the future?" He asked
"Yes. Uh, I spoke to you there, you told me to come here, to Oxford, to find you. You said you'd help me." I told him
"Why didn't I just help you there, in the future?"
"Sorry?" I asked
"Why would I put you through the headache of time travel, you know? You know what I mean, it just seems a little... unnecessary. And don't you think that my esteemed colleagues could have come up with something just a little more believable, huh? Wha—what kind of a prank is that? Huh, paradox. So uninspired."
"Set your device to um... 2.342 and make sure it oscillates at 11." I told him
"Okay, now you, you're going to tell me who told you those numbers."
"You did." I said
"No, this is — this is ridiculous."
"I know about Eloise." I told him and Daniel leads me into his office
"What, what is all this?" I asked looking around
"This is where I do the things Oxford frowns upon. Alright, this, this future version of me... uh, he referenced this meeting, right? Obviously, so, so I would remember you coming to Oxford, right? I would remember this, here, right now."
"Actually, um, no." I said told him
"No."
"Maybe you just forgot." I said
"Yeah, right, how would that happen?"
"So this, this is changing the future?" I asked him
"You can't change the future." He told me.
I see Daniel put on a special coat, "What's that for?" I ask him
"Radiation."
"Do I get one?" I asked him
"You don't need one. For prolonged exposure, I do this 20 times a day."
"So what do you put on your head?" I asked
He chuckles at me, "Yeah." Daniel flicks some switches. He then reaches over, taking out a white rat , "And this... this is Eloise." he said holding the rat then places Eloise in the maze.
"What does this do?" I asked him
"This, if the numbers you gave me are correct, what this will do is unstick Eloise in time. Just like you." He presses a button, and a purple-white light consumes Eloise for a few seconds.
"What happened?" I asked
"Wait, shhshhshh! She's not back yet...there she is. Okay, here goes everything." Daniel lifts a flap, and Eloise runs out into the maze.
"Come on, come on, that's it, come on, that's it, yes, yes, yes, haha! Yes! Oh, it worked! This is incredible." He said
"I'm sorry, how is a rat running through a bloody maze so incredible?" I asked him
"What is incredible, is I just finished the maze this morning. I'm not going to teach her to run it until an hour from now."
"S-so you, you sent her to the future!" I yelled
"No, no, no. Her consciousness. Her mind." Daniel says and runs over to a board and starts erasing things.
"So, so how does that help me?" I asked him
"You, what? I don't understand, am I supposed to help you? Didn't I send you back here to help me?'
"I don't know why you sent me here. All I know about you is, you, you end up on some bloody island." I said
"An island. What island, where...why would I go to an island?"
Just the I reappear back on the freighter, still struggling for the phone.
"Desmond, give me the phone." Keamy says and takes it, I look over at Freya who was holding her stomach and she looked relieved.
"Hey look! Hey, come on! Everybody relax, listen! Look! Daniel wanted to talk to the guy so we brought him the phone, that's all."
"You let Faraday talk to him?" Keamy said
"He said he could help!" Frank yelled
"Faraday can't even help himself!"
Omar turned to Frank, "Outside now. The captain wants to talk to you."
"And I want to talk to your captain." I hear Freya say.
"I'll be sure to let him know. In the meantime, have a seat." Keamy said
They leave Sayid, Freya, me and the man in the sick bay, locked in. I begin shining the doctor's light pen into my eyes.
"Desmond what are you doing?" Freya asked me
"I need to get back." I said
"Back where? The island?"
"He said he could help me, said he could tell me what I needed to do."
"Desmond, Desmond, can you please explain to me what you are talking about?" Freya said coming over to me, just then I go back. I wake up back in Daniel's office.
"What happened?" I asked
"Whoa, you're back, and you were out almost 75 minutes." Daniel said
"Out?"
"Yeah, yeah, yeah. You just whoof, went catatonic right in the middle of a sentence. I had to carry you to the chair. So I take it you were, you were in the future again?" Daniel said.
"Aye."
"For how long?" He asked me
"I don't know...five minutes? Why does this keep happening?" I asked.
"In your case, I'm guessing that progression is exponential. Each time your consciousness jumps, it gets harder and harder to jump back. I would be careful crossing the street if I were you."
I look over and see Eloise, it is clear that she is dead, "What happened to her?"
"She died."
"Yeah, I can see that. How?" I asked him
"Brain aneurysm, probably. I dunno. I'll need to do an autopsy later." Daniel said
"Is that going to happen to me?" I said getting scared.
"The effects seem to vary from case to case, but uh—" I cut him off pinning him to the wal
"If this keeps happening, am I gonna die?!" I shouted
"I don't know. I think Eloise's brain short-circuited. The jumps between the present and the future...she eventually, she couldn't tell which was which — she had no anchor."
"Wh...what do you mean, anchor?"
"Something familiar in both times. All this, see this is all variables, it's random, it's chaotic. Every equation needs stability, something known. It's called a constant. Desmond, you have no constant. When you go to the future, nothing there is familiar. So if you want to stop this, then you need to find something there...something that you really, really care about...that also exists back here, in 1996."
"This constant — can it be a person?"
'Yeah, maybe. But you have to make some kind of contact. Didn't you say you were off on a boat, in the middle of nowhere?"
I begin to walk out of the office.
"Uh...where are you going?" He asked me
"I'm going to find my bloody constant." I said leaving the office. I slam the door and leave and suddenly I collapse near the steps and wake up on the freighter.
"Hey, hey. You okay?" Freya asks me.
"You look a lot older now, huh? Welcome back, Desmond."
"We need to get out of here" Freya asks as her and Sayid unstrap the man.
"And how do we get out of here?"
"Through the door." The man said and we all turned to see that the door was open, "Looks like you guys have a, a friend on this boat." jut then I notice his nose bleeding
"Hey, uh...your nose, brother."
"It's clear. Let's -" Sayid said and just then I flash back to 1996, I was walking around not really knowing where I was going, but I was looking for th one person I knew would always be my anchor, I was looking for Freya. I was about to abandon hope when I see her standing next to a trolley cart buying something.
"Hello there" I said to her and she turned to look at me.
"Oh..hi." She said, "Do I know you?"
"Well actually I was the man who told that bloke at the bar to leave you alone." I told her and she smiled.
"Oh yeah I remember, how is your nose doing?" She asked.
"It's ok, I wanted to thank you for helping me out with that." I told her and she smiled again.I may not remember who she was but why did that smile affect me?
"Oh it was nothing, if anything I should be thanking you, that guy wasa douche bag" She said.
"Well either way I was wondering if I could properly thank you by buying you some coffee" I told her.
"Um...well actually I am waiting for my friend who I'm traveling with but maybe we can take a rain check?" She asked.
"Sure"
She grabbed a piece of paper and wrote something on it then handed it to me, "I'm not really sure how phones work over here but you can give me a call and we can set up that coffee." She said and just then I hear someone call her name, "I'll talk to you later" She said and walked away. I stood there for a few more minues then started in the other direction. Suddenly I hear her ask something and I turned around.
"Sorry?" I asked
"I said what's your name?" She asked me
"Desmond" I answered.
"I'm Freya"
Just then I was back on the freighter and the man from the sick bay looks at me, "Desmond. I know...it's getting harder. It starts happening faster too." The man said
"Come on, let's move." Sayid said him in front, then Freya, then the man then me.
"Hey, how did this happen to you?" I asked him
"We were anchored here. Waiting for our orders. Bored out of our minds. Me and Brandon — he's one of the crew members we took off the ship's tender. We just wanted to see the island. But Brandon started acting crazy...so we had to turn around."
"Where is he?"
"In a body bag." the man said and we enter the communications room, which is all messed up.
"Who did this?" Sayid said
"You got me. But when the captain finds out, I feel sorr—" Just then the guy passes out and I cradle him in my arms and Freya comes and kneels down next to us.
"Can you fix it, brother?" I asked Sayid
"I need a minute." Sayid says just then the guy seizes
"Wake up, wake up, you've got to come back! You've got to come back—" I said and Freya puts a hand on my shoulder.
"Desmond thats not going to help" Freya told me and I nodded.
I happen to notice a calendar on the wall with days crossed off on it — it's December 24, 2004
"It's 2004..." I said
"I didn't realize it was almost Christmas. It's been..."
Sayid points to his nose, "...Desmond."
Freya looks at me and was about to move her face to my face when the man starts flailing again.
"I...can't...get...back!" he says then is still, Freya checks his pulse but shakes her head.
"He's dead" She told us
"What happened to him?" Sayid asked
"The same thing that's gonna happen to me." I said and laid the man on the ground and I felt someone touch my shoulder and wipe the blood from my nose away with a cloth, I look up and see it's Freya.
"I'm not going to let that happen to you. I promise" She said.
Suddenly I get hit with flashes.
"Mind if I join ya?" I asked Freya who was sitting on the beach
"Oh Umm..sure, pull up some sand." She said
I sat down next to her and she pulled her knees to her chest.
"Something on your mind lass?" I asked her crossing crossing mylegs and resting my arms on my knees.
She looked at me then back at the ocean, "Just taking a moment before I head back to camp and get bombarded with questions."
"What kind of questions?" I asked her and she looked at me smirking a little.
"Well look at that its not even 8am and I already have my third question of the day." she said with a laugh and I laughed a little too.
"Sorry" I said.
It's fine," she looked back at the ocean, "People keeping asking me why your back, How far did you make it, stuff like that."
I chuckled, "Believe me it wasnt my intention to come back. All I remember was being happy that I had finally left this island and was going to find my way home, last thing I remember was drinking a bottle of cheap whiskey I had on the boat then waking up hearing Jack and them." I said uncrossing my knees.
She leaned back on her hands, "I'm sorry you winded up back, especially after being here for three years. Do you have anyone waiting for you back home?" she asked me.
I looked at her and smiled, "Now look who's asking questions." I said and nudged her a little, " And no, no I dont have anyone waiting for me back home. I was never able to find someone, I was to busy trying to make a life for myself."
next thing I know she put her hand on my shoulder and I looked at her, "Still, I'm sorry your back here." I gave her a smile and she pulled her hand off my shoulder and I suddenly missed the contact. "So were you able to get what you needed to make a tent for yourself?" she asked me
"No, I spent three years underground, I slept under the stars last night."
She laughed, "I get that but what if it rains?"
"Then thats just another thing I'll enjoy after being in that hatch." I said looking up at the sky.
She stood up,"Get up you crazy Scottish person we are gonna go get you what you need to build a tent, and I will make sure you can still see the stars."
next flash
I crashed their plane, it was all my fault was the reason they were trapped here, I was the reason Freya is here. Freya, the most beautiful woman I've ever seen, someone who I never thought I would ever fall for, let alone get. She was beautiful, smart, funny, and the kind of girl I would pine over, then I remembered that kiss, the kiss was something I wanted to do since we were trapped in that tree, her lips were soft and melted so perfectly into mine. She kissed me back, I never thought it would happen, I was waiting for her to pull away and run but she didnt. Everything in me wanted to turn around and go back to her but I had to do this. For her.
I put the key into the failsafe device for the hatch, I was about to turn it but once last thought went through my mind and I had to say it.
"I love you Freya." and I turned the key and it ended.
Next flash
"I love you too Desmond." SHe said after she found out I was alive
I smiled and pulled my face to hers again and kissed her deeply and passionately, before I knew it I backed her against a tree and my hand was in her hair pulling her face as close as it could go to me. She gasped into my mouth and put her hand in my hair as well and I ran my tongue along her lips and she opened her mouth, god it felt so good.
next flash
"When we get rescued, I will follow you where ever you go." I said running my hand up and down her arm.
"Same goes for you, I'll follow you anywhere, always and forever." she said
The flashes end and I look at Freya my memory of her and her time on the island returned I pulled Freya to me kissing her passionately and I felt her stiffen from shock but sh relaxd and kissed me back
"Are you alright now?" Sayid asked and we broke apart.
"Aye. I'm perfect." I said still loking at Freya.
"What happened?" She asked.
"I remember you, I can't believe I forgot, I'm so sorry Freya, Im so sorry." I said and she put her hands on my face.
"Don't, don't apologize, I love you and I'm just happy your back" She said and Kissed me again. I swear at this moment I am never ever leaving her again.