The last words of the poem rang a little in my head after I finished processing them.

What. The. Hell.

While Keith was better then me at a lot of things, I always considered myself the one that was the romantic, the suave one, the one who was good with words and hearts (and I still am), but this? This was beyond something I could ever do.

I was good at talking. I was good at communicating with emotion. But I was terrible at putting it on paper, which was why I was a little surprised to find this.

My chest warmed, and a fuzzy tingle was rising in my head. A strange heat crept up my neck and onto my cheeks, and suddenly I was giggling and blushing like one of those school girls in those cheesy romance novels.

Shit. SHIT SHIT SHIT.

There was no mistaking it; my competitive dislike/like situation had evolved into a crush. It was the same sensation I experienced during junior high, when I was into people like Jennifer Lawrence and Johnny Depp (yeah, I was going through a 'whatever works' stage of bisexuality, and I still am. Sue me.). Except this time, it was on my teammate and claimed competition. There was no way I would be able to do my work as a paladin now, not when I was growing a childish obsession over Keith.

As I was mulling these knew discoveries over, a sudden banging shocked me out of my stupor. Keith was knocking on Blue's jaw.

"Open up! It's time for dinner!"

Oh fuck me.

Not only was I trapped between my new love interest and my robot cat, I couldn't walk out with Keith's notebook on me and get caught with it. I had to get it back to Keith's room before he noticed anything.

Except…I also wanted to keep reading. A quick scan through the pages told me that there were more poems there, and I wasn't about to ignore them. An idea flashed in my head, and I snatched my opportunity.

I pulled out my phone. It hadn't been in the best shape since we left Earth, what with falling down waterfalls and stuff, but Pidge fixed it to be like new for me. While it's usefulness was inferior compared to the Altean tech, it still had a camera. Which is what I needed.

I started snapping pictures of the pages I didn't read, trying to get them as clear as possible before moving on. All the while, I heard Keith still calling and tapping on Blue.

"Come on man, I know you're in there. Are you jacking off or something?"

"Wow, rude. Give a guy some privacy man!" I called back, too busy copying to think of a good comeback.

"You're not denying it! You better be clean when you come out!"

Click. Last page saved away. I stuffed the phone and notebook into my pocket and opened the door.

"Took you long enough." Keith was waiting for me, looking impatient and edgy as ever. "They're all waiting for us, come on."

And we're walking. Just walking, side by side. I can't help but sneak glances at him, to see how he's acting. And surprisingly? He looks the same as ever. Just calm, ordinary Keith. Keith that has a crush on me. Keith with piercing eyes that could be blue or violet or any color in between, Keith with the sculpted chest and arms that weren't prominent like Shiro's but more suited for hugging.

"What are you looking at me for?"

Abort. ABORT ABORT ABORT FUCK YOU DONE FUCKED UP

"NOthiNG." I said, though it came out like a strangled squeak. "Your mullet is dumb."

"Stop hating on my damn hair, okay? It's not as dumb as you."

"Hey! I'm the one that at least knows how to be clean!"

"You're the one that's obsessed with exfoliating and pedicures! I know perfectly well how to stay clean!"

"You're just lucky you got naturally smooth skin you selfish quiznack! Think about the rest of us sometimes, pretty boy!"

Silence. He stares at me, confusion in his face. "Did you just call me-"

"Petty boy! I called you petty boy! I'm going to go wash up!" I sprint off toward the direction of the bedrooms, inwardly dying of relief. I never got closer to a heart attack then at that moment.

I skid to a halt at Keith's room and slapped the button. My legs carried me in and over the random hills of towels on the ground before the door was all the way open, and I dropped the notebook back on the bed and dumped a towel over it before racing out again. I gave myself a mental pat on the back and sped off in the direction of the dining room.

"You're late."

The first words that greeted me came from Shiro's mouth. He looked vaguely annoyed and disappointed, like a dad at a son that came home past curfew. Allura and Coran were watching me with similar expressions, Hunk had a look of I-expected-this-but-I'm-still-annoyed-a-little-bit' look, and Pidge was completely oblivious to everything with their usual laptop in front of them. Keith was eating quietly, not looking up.

"Um, sorry? I lost track of the time." I mumbled in apology, refusing to meet Shiro's eyes. After being away from home for so long, I couldn't look at Shiro without seeing my own mom sometimes. Sometimes that wasn't a good thing either. "It won't happen again." I added quickly.

Shiro just sighed tiredly and gestured toward my empty seat between Keith and Hunk. "We'll talk about this later. Your dinner's getting cold."

I plopped myself down at my chair, grateful it hadn't been any worse. Now that I was out of the danger zone between Shiro, Keith, and that damned notebook, I was suddenly aware that I was ravenous. Half of the green goop portion on my plate that tasted like heaven (thanks to Hunk) was inhaled before I remembered to dinner was awkwardly quiet, Allura and Shiro talking in hushed voices, Pidge clicking away at their keyboard between bites, and Hunk and Keith silent beside me. I couldn't take it.

"So guys…what'd I miss?"

Keith lets out a chocked cough, and I land a good smack on his back. He coughs a bit more, eyes watering, before answering in a faint voice.

"You almost killed me there. What the quiznack is up with you?"

"I was just trying to make conversation." I replied. I turn to Hunk instead. "What about you, buddy?"

"You didn't miss much. But there was a mini race being held as we were looking for you."

"Aw really? I'm touched you guys would think of that for me. Usually it's for Pidge." Pidge had the habit of falling asleep in unconventional places, so most mornings resulted in a hide-and-seek game.

"When I do it, at least it's because I was doing something useful." Came Pidge's muffled reply around a mouthful of food. Keith laughed softly into his drink.

"They got you there."

"Are you implying that I'm not useful? I'm the one that shot Sendak's arm off and found the blue lion!" I retorted automatically. It felt good and natural, just bickering. Give a good reason why I was blushing, at Keith's gentle smile, the way his eyes crinkled when he laughed…

"Um, no. I was the one who made the geiger counter to find the blue lion. Sorry buddy.""And I was the one that cut his arm off, you're just the one that shot him in the back." Hunk and Pidge added their statements in, rather unhelpfully. I glared at them, feeling my face reddening again.

"Hey, are you okay?"

Keith was there again, gazing at me with a mixed expression of worry and amusement, if that was even possible. I felt his eyes stare right at mine, and my face warmed up even more.

"Your face is all red. Are you sick or something?"

"I'M FINE." My voice came out a lot louder then I anticipated, and it was higher pitched as well. Shiro and Allura stopped talking and stared at me in alarm. Even Pidge stopped their work to look at me.

"No, you look like you're going to pass out. Are you allergic to anything? You should get to a cyropod. Tell me if you're allergic to anything," Babbled Hunk right away, like the mom friend that he was. Keith on the other hand, took my hand gently and pulled me to my feet, genuine concern in his eyes.

"Come on, you need the cryopod. I'll help you there."

SHIT.

My breathing sped up, and my heart hammered rapidly. His hands were soft, so soft, and his touch was gentle. My mind was numbing fast. Me being a dumbass, I reacted the only way I knew how.

"Don't touch me, asshole!"

I jerked my hand away and stepped back like I was burned. Six pairs of eyes followed the movement, but only one of them held my attention.

"Lance…" A pair of evening blue eyes, mixed with apprehension, anger, sadness, and…disappointment? Stared at me, and suddenly I had the irrational fear of them looking into my head and reading my thoughts.

"I'm sorry, shit I'm so sorry." I mumbled, but already those mesmerizing eyes were hardening to diamonds. I dropped my head. "I-I'm fine. I just- I need-I'm going to go lie down." I never ran faster in my entire life as in that moment.

Safely snuggled in my covers, away from everyone else, away from those eyes that now probably hated me, I pulled out the treasure I gained that evening. The shiny black screen of my phone revealed a weakling, someone who can't even bring himself to admit the obvious. Tears leaked down my cheeks, and my shoulders began trembling.

I fucked up. I fucked it up so hard. You had a chance, and you fucked it up, like the dumbass that you are. A small voice whispered in my head, and I agreed with it. One chance, a golden moment, and instead of seizing it, I broke it past repair. My heart ached from my own stupidity, and the fact I might not be able to look at him ever again.

I brought out the photos app, and scrolled through an abnormal amount of selfies before finding the images I wanted. I smiled at the "Red/blue" poem I read earlier today, and found the next one and started to read.

I only knew hate until I saw you.

Hate was the only thing I found in the eyes of others. Hate was the only thing I was treated with. Even my mother would not look at me with warmth in her eyes.

And then I found you.

I witnessed the light in your expression and joy in your face, and I was drawn to you as a moth to that light. I would not look away, even as your flames burned my hair and seared my skin and heated my heart

The first time I let myself get drawn to you was the first time I felt warmth.

Since then I always attempted to be seen by you, to experience that warmth again in my world of icy hate, but that warmth was so rare and fleeting, I was lucky to have for even a moment

That just made me crave it more.

I prayed someday you would see me, and that you too would experience that addictive heat

First I had to be able to create that free heat as well, to learn how to share it. I stopped hiding in a shell and began to talk, to try and generate that warmth for you

Instead that made your warmth grow colder

I never hated you. I never could. I never will. I only wanted the love that was the opposite of the chilliness I only knew. Even if one day you gave only ice, I would be there to sacrifice my flames.

Love is such a fleeting thing, and I only wanted it from you