Hi Guys! Well this week has been a bit of an emotional rollercoaster from an attempt to move away to begin a new career only to find that both the career and the move just weren't right for me after a whole year in-the-planning. So now you find me at an airport, waiting for a flight home and all I really want to do right now is to write for my wonderful readers.
As always, a huge thanks to my lovely cheerleaders; Dragonfly, FrenChi, Joanrbb, KK- you guys rock!
Keep on hitting those follow and favourite buttons guys, your quiet support helps me carry on writing too.
Thanks for sticking with me!
Chapter Ten
The Dàl's dimly-lit lair was a hive of activity with dust-laden books covering every available surface including the floor; even the spiders shrank back into their cobwebs from the passing back-and-forth breeze of industrious bodies.
The Doctor, for her part, was just thrilled to have found purpose once again, even if the concept of being thrust into the spotlight having been bullied into the role of reluctant hero was more than a little daunting. Though Dyson remained certain that Lauren was the answer to Bo predicament but he had been less sure on how to move forward. It was all very well to examine the patterns in what amounted to not much more than ancient fairy tales but if Christophe really was using Bo to raise an army to knock them all into oblivion then she was hard-pressed to believe that only the seven of them could stand up and defeat it. Yes, they had done it in the past but even then, Bo had still somehow been reachable, if only through a combined Chi-suck. This particular David was not so confident in her ability to face her Goliath…her own wife.
Twirling her Aunt's brooch between long fingers she allowed her mind to drift, letting an endless number of possibilities, theories, hypotheses and just downright madcap schemes flick across her brain. The truth was, when Dyson had come to her the night before, he had had no real follow-through to his plan. She guessed it had just been his way of snapping her out of her self-induced funk. Kind, yes but misguided? Possibly. Yes, she believed that inside each and every one of us was something heroic; the guy who jumps in front of a speeding car to save a child, the soldier who steps off an aeroplane to strange and terrible lands but Lauren's had always been more of the fact-finding, behind-the-scenes, bookish variety. She was definitely no action star and yet here she was supposed to lead her friends into battle.
Surreptitiously, she glanced over at Dagny who had her arm around Saoirse's shoulders in a comforting hold and she frowned. She hadn't had a chance to talk to her eldest since Kenzi had freed them from the warehouse and truth be told, she had no idea how to even go about that conversation. The two of them had been laid bare to the world in all their vulnerable glory by a despicable stranger in that godforsaken place. An intruder, violating what was most private and sacred. But Lauren was Saoirse's mother. She was supposed to be the strong one, a parent to whom her children could look up, no matter how big and tough they thought they were. In that moment, she had been weak in front of all her children. It was embarrassing. In fact, she couldn't help but wonder if her proud Griffin daughter actually felt embarrassed for her which was why she had barely looked her in the eye since they'd made it out of there. Was she disappointed? She knew Saoirse, herself was utterly humiliated, Lauren could see it in the flush of her daughter's cheek and ever downcast gaze. Mortified at being placed in such a compromising position by a mere Earthbound Fae.
But worse still, Lauren would never forget the fear she had witnessed and still lingered over the faces of Charlotte and Ethan. How could she ever expect them to trust in her again? She had failed as a parent. Failed in her duty to protect her own precious little children. When Bo came back to them, how could she ever face her? How could she face any of them? In years to come, would Charlotte and Ethan grow to loathe her?
Abruptly, she gave herself a shake. This was just no good and the thought suddenly struck her that this was exactly what de Villiers wanted. Was everyone else battling the demons within themselves too? Those cruel voices that haunted one in the depth of night?
"Hey, you okay?" asked Dagny gently, not wishing to startle her new friend even as she slipped an arm across Saoirse's shoulders, suddenly aware of the firm muscle and sinew of the Griffin's Traps beneath her thin, cotton sweater. Someone so strong should never seem this defenceless, she thought privately. Dagny was well-used to the daily silent battle of self-confidence and self-deprecation she faced within herself. It was hard being the only Valkyrie in around, a lone voice in a crowd, often wondering if this was how her mother had felt at times. If this was the burden they were simply expected to bear; the quiet pain of one who dealt only in death.
Her work at the clinic helped and she had Bo & Lauren and her cute little niece and nephew of course. Her faemily. But it didn't stop her longing for those things herself, even knowing that as a Valkyrie she would forever be forbidden from ever knowing the love of a child of her own, just as countless generations before her. Would she destined to remain alone for eternity, caught between two worlds simply by dint of her species?
"Yeah, I'm okay, thanks. You?"
Dagny was snapped from her dark reverie by the Griffin's gravelly voice and she eyed her doubtfully.
"Really? Why do I find myself somehow not believing you, huh?"
Saoirse shrugged nonchalantly.
"I dunno, you tell me?"
"Well, you're being evasive for a start. For someone usually so direct it's a dead giveaway!" the Valkyrie grinned teasingly. "And your eyes. They just seem sad." She finished mildly. The other woman huffed, not bothering to argue further. She knew her feelings were written all over her face, it was a constant source of self-disappointment. She wished she could be as inscrutable as her mother, more enigmatic, able to hide her emotions from prying eyes and this latest episode had done nothing to reassure her. She shook her head and tried to organise her thoughts;
"I don't know what to tell you Dag, I'm all good." It was almost convincing too. Almost. Then Dagny did something unexpected. Out of nowhere, she began to encroach further into Saoirse's space, running the fingers of her outstretched arm along the densely-packed muscle of the Griffin's upper arm as she leaned her body into the other woman's, nuzzling her face into Saoirse's neck. It was suddenly all too much and the Griffin jerked back;
"Dagny, what do you think you're doing?"
"I- uh…" the Valkyrie stammered.
"I can't do this with you. Or anyone for that matter. I won't make the same mistakes my parents made!" She said, easing further back and placing a more comfortable distance between them.
"I'm sorry, I didn't think I was doing anything wrong," Dagny spluttered, "I just feel so easy around you, I thought it would be okay. I thought…"
Saoirse sighed and took pity on the young woman;
"No, I'm sorry," she began, "I overreacted. I just, I don't think I can afford to get close to anyone." She said, recovering a little of the space between them until they were almost side by side once again. Dagny looked at the Griffin curiously;
"You think your parents made a mistake by falling in love? I'm sorry, it's just, it sounded like that's something you've never said before."
Saoirse nodded thoughtfully;
"I guess I surprised myself with that one…but yes, I meant it, I think."
"But…if they never met, you wouldn't be here!" said Dagny, the note of protest clear. Saoirse's gaze sunk to the floor and she mumbled something barely audible. "What?" asked Dagny, reaching out to trace a tentative finger over her friend's cheek.
"I said that maybe that wouldn't have been a bad thing."
Dagny sat there stunned into silence, her mouth agape as she fought for words.
"But…you can't think that really!"
"Why not?" Saoirse bit, her head whipping round to reveal features twisted in anguish.
"I don't get it! Why are you torturing yourself over something that wasn't your fault?" she exclaimed.
"Because I never should have existed, Dag! I was borne of a union that should never have been and maybe that's why I'm such a bloody disappointment!"
For the second time in as many minutes, the Valkyrie could only stare incomprehensively.
"I had one job to do, Dagny. One task the elders charged me with. To protect Charlotte and Ethan whatever the cost and I couldn't even get that right. Then that bastard got inside my Mother's head and I did nothing! I failed, Dag." She trailed off miserably. Dagny was at a loss for words. From what little she knew of the Griffin; this defeatist attitude just wasn't her and the young Valkyrie began to wonder if any of the others were noticing any weird thoughts or feelings.
"Well, I don't know what I can say to make you feel better lady but you do have a friend, whether you want one or not," she added impishly, "and for what it's worth, I don't think this is you talking. Or any of us!" She announced, standing to address the room; "anyone else here getting trapped in a spiral? Any strange thoughts? Feeling randomly depressed?"
The nervous glances being cast about the room gave the answer without the need for any further words.
"It's him." Said Dyson. "You think he's doing this?" he said, turning to Kostas who was currently sat behind an old Davenport-style desk jammed into a tight corner where the Wolf could keep a close watch on him. Kostas shrugged unconcernedly;
"It's what he does. Doesn't affect me," he said with a slight touch of smugness, "been around him too long now." He finished a little distastefully. He grunted and turned to the group; "He gets into people's heads and finds their weak spots then leaves 'em to self-destruct. Just being with him yesterday in the same space was enough to give you all a taste of his power. You wanna beat him, you have to purge yourselves of all doubt. All your fears, *poof*" he finished, make a presto motion with his hands.
"Uh, you couldn't have just told us all this before, huh, big guy?" Kenzi retorted from another table on the Dyson's other side.
"You never asked." Said Kostas simply and Dyson had to fight the urge to smack him one but then his face lit up in recognition.
"Wait, that's it! That's the answer!"
Somewhere on the other side of town Bo opened her eyes to find only darkness surrounding her like an oppressive yet somehow comforting quilt. The soft patchwork kind that you could just snuggle down into never to emerge again until the big, bad world got better again. Until she suddenly noticed that her wrists had been tightly shackled to a hard, stone surface that sent a freezing chill up through her body, bringing her out in goose-bumps that prickled under her satin shirt.
"Hey, hello!" she shouted, thinking that perhaps she had had another episode and one of her friends had placed her in one of the cells beneath the Dàl but then that didn't explain why everything was so dark. "Dyson?" she tried again but her only response was a disembodied laughter that seem to float through the air above, curling about her invasively like she was in one of those smoky blues bars back home in the Mid-West. There was just something so…obscene about that laugh in a way that made even the Succubus' skin crawl.
"Dyson isn't here my dear! You're all alone." The voice said in mock sympathy.
"And just who the hell are you buddy? Huh? Someone who's too much of a coward to just come out here and face me obviously!"
And there he was. She could only make out his pale, sneering face and a pair of unnaturally long hands that seemed to luminesce sickeningly in the blackness as he sashayed towards her, coming to a kneel just slightly out her reach.
"Oh, tut-tut, Bo, such language!" he said with mild reproach. "And you know, I am just a little hurt that you don't remember! Oh well, I guess you're not really as powerful as they say." He shrugged.
"Remember what?" she spat.
"Well, what you did, Bo. Oh, you were such a naughty girl, it was wonderful, wonderful to watch!" he said, clapping his hands energetically. His words gave Bo pause and she eyed him cautiously;
"What are you talking about?" a nervous bile rising at the back of her throat, suddenly making her feel nauseous. Christophe grinned in amusement;
"Well, your friends. Your 'faemily'," he said dismissively, making little air quotes with his fingers, "so quaint. Why, you killed them all, dear." Bo's face scrunched in consternation, shaking her head from side to side, her brain refusing to accept it;
"No, I couldn't have…I'd never…"
"But you did. And now you really are all alone Bo. You made them all go away," he said, pulling a sad face like she had just dropped her ice cream at the fayre. "I'll leave you in peace to have a think." He said finally, rising once more to his feet and vanishing as unobtrusively as he had appeared. Meanwhile Bo only continued to stare into the consuming darkness. She refused to believe, she would not accept that she could ever…yet something in his words pulled at her. The iron shackles bit into the soft flesh of her wrists as she twisted painfully in her restraints, her body writhing and contracting and she desperately tried not to wail out loud;
"No…no…I couldn't…No!" She screamed.
Then the holding cell burned white.
Shorter chapter tonight folks. Kinda struggled to get this one out but hope you're still enjoying this crazy ride!