Decisions
I wasn't running back to Kate, I was just running. Even if I still had some lingering feelings left for her, I had been gone too long to just run back to her like some love sick pup. This was the argument of the rational side of my mind, but even still, my emotional side wasn't so easily convinced. 'You still miss her, even now you feel the pain in your heart. No matter how long it's been you still love her, no?' My emotions demanded, and they were right, I did still love her, but to pursue a relationship of that kind after so long just felt wrong.
Where was I running? Couldn't say, just that I was trying to force my brain to think of the dull ache in my legs rather than the whirlwind of thoughts clouding my mind. Unfortunately for my however, it would seem that the two sides of my mind, rational and emotional, were steadfast in their need to fight this out right now. My rational side would always use the time spent away as its weapon while my emotions would use love. No thought could take real hold in my mind before it was swept away by another wave of new ones.
The soft sound of rushing water was the only thing that managed to penetrate my mind, and with it I realized that I was at the river near the pack leader's den. I stuck my head cautiously through the bushes, checking to see if there was anyone there besides me. I was in luck, the area was devoid of any wolfs. I slowly made my way towards the water's edge. Once there, I had a peculiar need to check my reflection, not to see if my fur was dirty or anything, just to see the changes that had occurred during those two years.
I was startled by the difference, I wasn't the skinny Omega anymore, I had grown into a strong lone wolf. The thing that truly startled me however, were my eyes. They were more cold and tired than I ever remembered them being. 'See! We've changed! You can't just ignore that!' my reasoning soldiered on in the argument. 'Love sees past that! No matter how much we've changed it won't change that fact!' my emotions wouldn't take this sitting down. With the constant internal argument going on in my head, I hadn't had the chance to realize how sweaty I become while I was running. I sniffed my back and had to conceal the yelp of disgust that had struggled to escape my throat.
'Ok guys, can we at least hold this argument until after we get clean?' both sides of head responded in the affirmative, and with that sudden reprieve I walked into the water and proceeded to wash myself. Once done, I just sat at the water's edge trying to figure out a way to fix the predicament I found myself in. 'I can't just reveal myself yet, there could be some lingering resentment for me living in such a precarious time'. Even if I did do that, I wouldn't be being true to myself, I was Roman now, I wasn't Humphrey anymore. From my mannerisms to my looks, it had all changed. 'I doubt anyone would even believe me if I told them who I was'.
However, I couldn't just ignore my feelings like I had when I was young. 'That's how this whole mess started after all'. So I needed to find some type of compromise, though the raging thoughts in my head weren't helping. 'Screw the consequences, reveal yourself to her and get her back!' my emotions yelled. 'How is that going to work? And what do you mean 'back'? We never had her in the first place!' my reasoning yelled right back. 'How many times do I have to tell you that love trumps all?' my feelings retorted, ignoring the jab about the 'back' comment. 'And how many times have I told you that that's not how it works in the real world!?' reasoning ripped on. 'What about what that figure in our dream said?' wait, I had forgotten about that! 'Idiot! That was our subconscious! He wouldn't know any more than we do!' he… he had a point there. 'Those were just some romanticized visions that we wanted to see!' damn, he was right, that was the perfect outcome in my mind. 'B-but, no… that can't be the case. I won't believe it.' My emotions valiantly clung on to that last shred of hope. 'Don't deny it! We all know it's true!' I-it wa-was, there was no denying it, what my subconscious showed me was the best possible outcome, and it appeared that my emotions realized it as well. 'Ok, so that may be true, but that doesn't mean we should give up in despair! We still have a chance, and we need to take it!' my emotions had found new resolve. And to my surprise, my reasoning was on board, 'I agree, but we need to take this cautiously. Making the same mistake again isn't an option.'
'So… do we have any ideas?' my emotions asked. Yes, actually I did, 'How about this, we wait till we have a real idea of what has happened during those two years, and then when we do this, we do it as Roman, not Humphrey. Humphrey already failed, but Roman will succeed!' my resolve seemed to surprise them, but nonetheless, they agreed. With the plan set up, Roman was ready to face 'Her'.
"Oh… um sorry, I didn't think anyone would be here this early."
Just. Not. Yet.
AN: There we go! The long awaited Chapter three is up. Now you can all yell at me for being absent for… *Checks the date* Oh shit!? A year and a month? Damn, didn't feel like it was that long…*rubs neck nervously*. Well, there's no real excuse I can give to explain an absence of that length so I won't give one. I didn't update this story because I was lazy, pure and simple. The only thing I can offer in recompense is my most sincere apology. I, IncognitoSteve, am and will always be, sorry for being a piece of literal feces and not updating my only story for more than a year.
There it is, now roast my ass in the reviews for it anyway. Also tell me about the chapter, always curious to know how shit I am at writing.