Hope you're all doing well! Uh, this last week was pretty hectic, so here's some fun stuff. Hopefully. I hope you enjoy, and I am very glad that everyone enjoyed the new 'format' of sorts. Quick little update on that, continuing what we did last time, we're going to have small parts of the story-line scattered throughout the episode, and then a short little 'cliffhanger' of sorts at the end. This one is a doozy, and also something that will be probably controversial. So, I'm just warning you now.
AaronCottrel97: Thank you! Old Bailey was hard to nail down, because I'd always had this idea in my head of "Oh, wouldn't it be funny to bring back my Inspector Norris character and show that this is who he is," but he was harder to write than you might think. I'd also like to thank you for inspiring me on what quirk to give to Derek so that I had a bit more fun writing him. See if you can guess!
Bronze Shield: Actually, the funny thing is, I do really enjoy Haunted Henry, in fact of all the episodes I watched when I was a child, I think that out of this season only Rusty and the Boulder and Duncan Gets Spooked scared me out more than this one. I took the mickey a great deal more because I figured that Toby's Flood was taken pretty seriously, and thus had a bit more of a mixed reaction. I apologize if for whatever reason I didn't do a good enough ob, but those aforementioned stories, I will be trying my damnedest to do good at adapting them.
TrainManiac: Very welcome! On balance, I think that, yeah, the way I balanced it out last time was the best way I've done it thus far. This episode really was fun to watch, it was very atmospheric and fun. Trust me, your idea is no more strange than mine. I just wanted to go for a more Frankenstein approach to Marklin's 'birth' as it was, because I thought it looked and felt cool. The war stuff is going to be a ton of fun, because it does set up some things for Magic Railroad...again.
Reality Rejection Service: Pretty much. Things are about to get...interesting.
Game-Watch: You'd be surprised! Ha, just kidding. Basically, the idea was that when the woods were just that, woods, Godred did some stupid shit there. Pretty much all there is to it.
MattPrice01: Glad you enjoyed! Hopefully those good feelings will continue throughout this chapter!
CUE THE THEME
Bill and Ben, who are twins (In case you haven't seen the last two or three seasons and are very, very, very, VERY confused), work in the clay mines and pits around the Island not too far from Brendam Docks. The work is important, but it can be hot, and dirty.
I'll just give you all a moment to stop sniggering there. You good? Okay.
Sometimes this makes the twins naughty...all right, more than usual. Other things that make the twins naughtier...would take too long to list.
n this particular morning. BoCo was trying to make sure that his last week went somewhat smoothly, not least because the after-party was becoming quite the affair according to the 'planners' as it were. As Hatt's car drew in, BoCo reflected on how nice it would be if, just for once, things went right.
In retrospect, this was a pretty stupid thought to have around Bill and Ben, who were feeling especially naughty today.
"That's my line of trucks! Go find your own, twit!" snapped Bill.
"Hey, now that's not fair, Bill! S'not, it's mine!" shot back Ben. "Yours is over there!"
"They're both the bloody same." hissed BoCo, his usual iron calm rattled somewhat by his nerves. "Just take a train and go, there doesn't really need to be this much-"
"HOW DARE YOU, BEN!? I am always right!"
"Yeah? How about that fire in the shed? How did pouring gasoline on it make it any better!?"
"At least I did something! All you did was run around in a circle hollering "OOOH LUVVIE, WE'RE GOING TO DIE!" like a very camp Betty Boop knock-off!"
"S'mine!"
"S'not!"
"'S'mine!"
"'S'not!"
Bill and Ben, in case you couldn't tell, had decided that they were too cool to speak the Queen's English. BoCo, infuriated by all of the arguing and on the verge of just seeing what it was that delighted the twins in setting things on fire, idled up. "STOP QUARRELING, YOU TWO! OR I SHALL PLANT MY SAINTLY WHEEL UPSIDE YOUR ARSES! Only thing you'll have left to share is-"
And at that moment, Bill and Ben shot off at the same time, banging each other off the rails. BoCo closed his eyes and counted to ten.
"-trouble." he finished.
"Silly!"
"Silly yourself!"
"BILL AND BEN BEHAVE YOURSELVES OH GOD WHERE DID THE GROUND GO?!" The Fat Controller waddled forward, having forgotten that there was a foghorn stuck in his throat for some reason. He was also only slightly drunk. He also sounded incredibly gravelly on this fine morning. "IT IS VERY CLEAR TO ME THAT, NOW WITH BOCO HEADING OFF, WE'RE GOING TO NEED ANOTHER DIESEL TO HELP OUT! ONE WHO PREFERABLY ISN'T A SNOB OR TRIES TO KILL MY ENGINES!"
"That's some hard criteria to fill." muttered BoCo.
"Only one is avaliable! He's new and young and gulible, and he's keen to make a good impression! And his name is-"
...
"Paxman?! The Paxman, the one who does University Challenge?!"
"No, James, that's Jeremy Paxman. This one is Derek Paxman, his engine brother who is also way less successful and charismatic."
"Huh. Pity."
...
"Now, for the love of God, DON'T SCREW THIS UP!"
"If I were you, I'd get back to work straight away. But thank god I'm not you, am I right?" And off BoCo went, to the branch-line, where Edward was getting drunk. Meanwhile, as Hatt headed back to his car, he began to have doubts over his own decision.
"Ohhhh I knew I should have just spent more than three minutes looking at 'HONEST ZERO'S ENGINE DEALERSHIP'! Damn you cheapness! Bloody diesel, hope he doesn't cause any more trouble, and he's going to have teething troubles atop THAT! MY GOD I AM TERRIBLE AT MY JOB."
Then he had a cream bun to calm himself down.
...
"So, you want to run by me what happened here, soldier?"
"I can honestly tell you that I have no earthly idea!" Carlin was very glad that Benn had clearly left the uniform of an American soldier draped over one of the trucks. It made him feel a bit less out of place when being interrogated by the Fat Gentleman in front of him. He had seen him in a portrait before, in Sir Topham Hatt's office. He was tall, slightly rotund, but overall seemed to keep himself in far better shape than the current owner of the railway. Charles Topham Hatt looked grimly at Carlin, his eyes seeming to bore straight through Carlin's and to his soul.
He was imagining things, of course. Charles was a cold man, and the only thing that concerned him was the damage of the Vicarstown Sheds, which looked far more rickety than they had a few moments ago. The bomb had shook the foundations, and so the engines were being transferred to Tidmouth for what, to Charles, would only be a temporary measure. There they all were, Edward, Gordon, Henry, Eagle, Thistle, Biggles, Albert and the two unnamed blue engines. All looking glumly at what had once been their home.
"Well, I think we've heard enough, haven't we, Peter Sam? Be on your way."
Not a moment too soon, thought Carlin. And thus he departed, though he glanced back to catch a glimpse of the man formerly known as the Thin Controller, bent over with the Fat Gentleman in discussion.
Now to find Benn.
...
Hatt was right. The new diesel, Derek, was already in a particularly awkward mood as he began the climb up Gordon's Hill. Not far behind him, an ambulance followed just in case something should happen to him, which it usually did.
"Ohhhhhhhhhh my- HIC -grease and oil, I- HIC -wasn't expecting this- HIC -Hill!" Derek slurred. There was a loud bang as he backfired. "Oh BALLS IN HEAVEN, what is- hic -that!? Smells like a dog sh-"
Then his wheels spun helplessly, he came to a rough stop, black smoke began to leak from his chassis, and just to put the cherry on top, his buffers caught on fire.
"Ah, well! All in the- HIC -line of duty for DEREK THE GREAT!" Derek wondered vaguely why the entire world seemed to be spinning like a ballerina before passing out in a drunken daze. And BoCo, as he has done many times, came to the rescue with the breakdown train coach, which carried a ton of stuff to help the ambulance crew with their shoddy workmanship- I mean, fix Derek. That's definitely what I meant
"Sssssssoorree-" declared Derek "-I'm a bit all hot and bothered!" He winked lavaciously, and BoCo shuddered and tried to hold him what passed for his lunch. "Got teething troubles, you- HIC- know!"
"Your teeth are the least of your troubles." muttered BoCo.
...
News of this outrageous new diesel spread down the line. At the docks, because they had nothing else to do, Thomas and Percy were discussing it.
"Yeah, and then he threw up his entire load of oil all over BoCo's front."
"No way!"
"Way! Driver says it's teething troubles, but I just think we've finally met a diesel who can't hold his liquor!"
Percy tottered off after this to the quarry, primarily because he was Percy, and therefore makes all the best decisions in life. As he arrived, he suddenly beamed to himself. A rather naughty idea entered his mind, but seeing as this was one of the few times he was going to get a chance to be the one doing the tricking rather than being the trickee, he shrugged off any moral problems.
"Hey you two! This new diesel's got toothache! Bye!" And off he went, as fast as he entered.
"Why does Percy want to wish us good luck?! No one likes us! No one ever wishes us well!"
Ben growled. "Clearly that was code, you boob! He knows we'll need it! Clearly this new diesel is a dentist in disguise!"
Even by Bill's standards, this was stretching it.
"All right!" amended Ben "Clearly he's an arse! And we don't like any arses around here except for us! We must do battle in the Showdown of the Ultimate Arses! For it has been mentioned in the Engine Bible that Diesel's with Toothache are the worst diesels of all!"
"...Is it, though?"
"It's right next to the words 'And Lady looked upon Misty Island, and she did weep for all of her failures in good engineering design, and smote it, mightily, and forbade anyone speak of it again!'"
"Ah. A classic."
"Indeed. Oh look, manager's on his way."
"OI! YOU 'ORRIBLE LOT! YOU'RE TAKING A LARGE LOAD TO THE DOCKS, LOVELY BOYS, AND YOU SHALL STAY THERE! THERE'S 'ARD WORK ON THE WAY!"
"Wait-"
"SHADDUP!" And so saying, away stormed the manager.
By the time they reached the dock (Having gotten lost three times in rapid succession, and then bumping into BoCo and Edward, who were both drunk and weeping that they were going to miss each other so much) it was dark, and so they left the trucks on their own before scurrying off to join Duck in the shed.
"What are you doing, Duck?"
"NOTHING. AT ALL." Duck couldn't have looked more shifty if he tried. "I definitely wasn't trying to get a message through to City of Truro about a rampaging killing machine- ANYWAY. You do look glum! If I was a horrible person, I'd ask who it was so I could shake him or her by the...buffer, I guess."
"It's all the new diesel's fault! We've never met him but he's an arse! He's got toothache! Clearly he is worse than Hitler, Stalin and their secret love child!"
"Toothac- Teething troubles, you daft nits! He's new, and he causes some problems through no fault of his own!"
"He's not a dentist, then."
"I...don't know him personally, so I can't comment on it. In this case, it's his cooling system from what I've heard. Now can I PLEASE go back to sleep!?"
"You weren't asleep when we got here-"
"Shut it."
...
Carlin was lost. It was the exact same Island that he had lived on for so many years now, and yet it was all so different as well. Where soon there would be large masses of rails covering the soil and the grass, there were lush green fields and thick woods that Henry would die to see. And where there were going to be paths that helped him along the way, now there were just no ways of telling where he was and where he was supposed to be going. The note itself had mentioned something about Kirk Ronan, but he had no idea how to get to there, most of the developments were after his time.
"Almost there, Peregine!"
And now he was in Crovan's Gate. For some reason.
The two men hadn't noticed that he was here yet. Both of them were working very hard on an engine who looked rather uncomfortable with what they were doing. The first was a somewhat lanky youth with wire rimmed spectacles that rather played into the stereotypical image of a nerd, wearing typical welding gear. The other was a great deal larger than his friend, with what appeared to be a handknitted sweater and awkward, checkered trousers. He was changing back into a pair of blue overalls, and was looking at the coffeepot engine they were both working on with pride.
"Maybe we should-"
"What?! Give up! On old Glynn here?! He's going to be amazing once he's finished!"
"Oh, boyo, you can just leave it, you've done wonders as it is-"
"No, no, I insist! Glynn's going to be a proper number one!" The larger one laughed and affectionately tapped upon the coffeepot's boiler. "Come on Peregine, just need to check that he can steam properly, and then we can head off to see the soldiers on parade!"
"If you're sure."
Carlin watched in amazement as the thinner one continued his welding, making final checks, as his friend climbed aboard and patiently waited. Then Peregine finished, and with a gleeful shout, the other started Glynn up.
Slowly at first, inch by inch, Glynn started to move. The two youths were stunned into silence for a moment, then let out loud whoops of triumph and congratulated each other firmly on their victory.
"All we need now is to get you out on the main line!"
"Ha, fat bloody chance of that." From the door stepped someone wearing a bright red and green pinstriped suit. Carlin had the feeling that if he stepped out wearing that at night, he'd ruin the blackout efforts entirely. He had a confident little smug grin on his face, like he was privy to a secret no one else knew about. He and the larger lad had certain resemblances in the facial structure, and it didn't take a genius to work out that they were brothers. "Thought I'd find you two here."
"Should I-"
"Pop off, Percival. I'm sure your mummy's waiting for you with your hot water bottle."
"See you later, Toppers!"
"Yes. Of course." 'Toppers' watched as Peregine Percival left in a hurry, before focusing in on the other. "There was no need for that."
"No? Look, I'll say this as nicely as I can, which is a bloody miracle considering how I normally act. You're not going to be allowed to take old Glynn here out on the main line at this time. The sheds got bombed last night, and most of the engines are out of sorts."
"Anyone hurt?"
"No. Pity really. Wanted to try out my collection of jokes. Ah well. Have to settle for having Gemina Cole over my place again!" He smirked, but then looked at the other carefully. "You look rather...pale. You didn't get sleep last night, did you?"
"With the bombs?!"
"You get used to it. Ah, cripes, I'm running late. Got to get to Mr Jolly's factory before he gives me a right reaming out. See you tonight."
"Bye, Lowham."
For some strange reason, Carlin felt a great deal for the lad. He stepped forward as Lowham walked away, and coughed slightly. The youth turned, and did a double take at the uniform.
"I, er, couldn't help overhearing. I'm looking to get to-" He checked the note again "-Kirk Ronan, and...well, you need to test your train."
"Who are you?"
"Carlin...Jim Carlin. You?"
"Oh, you must have heard of me. Topham Hatt. The 'Fat Controller'. I've heard all the jokes."
Carlin tried not to stare open mouthed as he clambered aboard Glynn.
...
The next day, the twins were back at the quarry, eyeing a long line of trucks that had to be taken away (Omniously, that was the exact wording the driver of Bill had heard when his horse had vanished mysteriously) when an unfamiliar whistle sounded.
Unfamiliar because it was in fact a horn.
"OH NO. TIS THE NEW DIESEL! WE'RE BONED!"
And it was. But they weren't. So to speak.
"Heyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy chappies!" declared Derek, whose breath smelled like Jack Daniels and Canadian Mist had spent an entire night partying and mating away like there was no tomorrow. "Hey, hey, hey...Bodger and Badger, or whoever you are, I'll sort this train out- HIC! You take the...the...not back bit, you know, up at the beginning, whatsit called?"
"The front?"
"That's it! You take the...that, and I'll take behind! Not my first time going behind, am I right?!" He laughed laddishly, and then proceeded to cough and splutter his way to the back. "WHAAAAAAAAT FUN!" He belched.
All went reasonably well as they started off. Perhaps that should have been the first warning sign to all involved.
Then they came to a hill. Although, considering that it's in a quarry, is it technically a hill, or is it a mountain? Ah, question for another time. Ben decided that now was a good chance to mouth off and unleash his more racist side. "COME ON, PUSH HARDER YOU SILLY SLAG FILLED DIESEL! WHERE THE HELL'S THAT FUN YOU WERE TALKING ABOUT?!"
Derek was suffering from trouble. He couldn't push any harder, and was just about to suggest they take a break, when IT happened. "OHHHHHH BUGGER, I'M OVERHEATING AGAIN!"
And he did. With a very loud and rude sound, he came to a shuddering stop, mumbling something that sounded like "SMASHING!" under his breath.
"OH PAH!" said Ben, with dignity and grace.
"Let's finish the journey anyway. I'm too tired to care right now!" sighed the driver. "Means pulling Harold 'Diesel Version' over there. Can you do it?"
"We'll try."
And, to make a long story short, they did.
...
That night, the Fat Hatt arrived at the docks to see them. BoCo was spending his last proper night on the Island with Duck and the twins, with Edward arriving soon to have one last hurrah together before he headed off for his new job.
"Never thought I'd say this in a million years, but well done, Bill and Ben. New diesel's back at the works going through withdrawal, can you manage alone for the time being?"
Bill turned to BoCo "Sorry we were so rude earlier. We're going to miss you."
"Even if the new diesel turns out to be quite friendly once you get through the bad hygiene and his constant breaking down." added Ben.
"And you know what friends do?"
"What, Duck?"
"Always say goodnight to each other."
"Do friends really do that?"
"Well they do now." So they did. But they stayed up all night, talking about teething troubles all night long. Or at least until Edward arrived with the others, and the party began in full swing.
Many speeches were made. James and Gordon thanked BoCo for putting up with them in their worst days, and Gordon in particular thanked BoCo for saving him from scrap at the hands of Tweedleprat and Tweedlearse. Donald and Douglas, who had come ready-drunk, lead a rousing chorus of 'Auld Lang Syne' that brought BoCo to tears for the reason that the singing was terrible. Percy and Oliver got very drunk and nearly fell into the ocean. Duck spoke fondly of the many experiences he had had with BoCo, getting many laughs, and then Edward spoke too, telling tales of adventure that they had shared, and of all the things he was going to miss.
And as the sun rose up, BoCo realized it was time to head off. He gently drove through, muttering goodbyes to most of the engines, before pausing to say a few select farewells to his closest pals.
"You two, I know this is asking a lot, but please try not to burn down anything for at least two weeks."
"We make no promises."
"Ah, I know you can't." BoCo smiled. "Well, this diseasal's very glad he met you. Both of you. You're both arses, sometimes. And oh so maddening. But I can safely say that when I do come back, I can't wait to get back to working with you."
"We'll miss you!" cried Ben, who definitely wasn't on the verge of sobbing hysterically. Bill had already started.
BoCo smiled once more, then turned his attention to Mavis. "Don't let them wear you down. Take care of them. They're good lads, really. Just have to dig down...a lot...with a jackhammer."
"Duly noted." She smiled.
BoCo looked to Duck next. "Good hunting, Duck. Been a blast."
"LIkewise, mate."
And finally, he turned to Edward, who smiled, but also appeared to be on the verge of tearing up. For a moment, no one knew what exactly to say. Then Edward remembered an old saying from the workshop, a way of saying goodbye.
"May your rails never rust, and may your paintwork never luster."
BoCo grinned. "Until the next time, old chum."
"Until the next time, BoCo."
And so saying, BoCo quietly left, to a loud of chorus of whistles and horns, and to one final collective rendition of "For He's a Jolly Good Fellow' as he quietly slipped out of the docks and headed towards Vicarstown for what was to be the final time.
And it would be nice if we could leave him here. If we could leave him crossing the bridge to Vicarstown, with happy memories and thoughts in his mind, and with the prospect of meeting new friends, and the idea of returning to see his old ones very soon.
But we can't.
Arry and Bert watched as BoCo entered the Suddery Junction. They smirked at each other, waited until he drew level with them...and then attacked.
He didn't feel a thing.
And so, returning back to the smelters with BoCo's body in tow, the two diesels grinned maliciously.
Diesel 10 was finally to have a body.
A/N: Okay, wow. This is...going to be a massive risk.
So, let's discuss the reasons why I just did what I did. Spoiler warning. I killed BoCo. Now, why did I do this? For a number of reasons. I understand if people do not like what I have done, or think it was poorly executed, but let me just give my personal bit of reasoning for it, and then make your own mind up.
Okay, first of all, BoCo is probably the one remaining character, from the first three or so seasons, that has just vanished off the radar after Season 5. Other characters who aren't currently in the show, like Terrance, still made appearances in several episodes of the show up until the switch-over to CGI. Even Daisy, who appeared in less episodes than BoCo and Terrance, still got a brief cameo in Calling All Engines by name, and returned to the show at the time in which I originally set out the plan for the Magic Railroad arc. BoCo, however, disappears after this episode without a reference or appearance in any special, episode or even learning segment of the show and has still not returned. Now, I could just have hand-waved that somehow, but BoCo is one who I've written to be one of the more consistent with his canon portrayal. Therefore, I wanted to give a reason why he completely vanishes in nearly all senses of the word after this season.
Secondly, I'm doing this to give a bit more of a personal stake in the eventual Magic Railroad story. While, yeah, the Lady storyline is okay and all for the story, I really wanted to give the engines a reason to give a crap about Diesel 10 doing all these horrible things. This way, Arry and Bert using his parts (And yes, I am aware that the Warship class was a real train, but I argue that since Diesel 10 is a character who has a whacking great big claw on his top, I can take a few liberties with the parts used to properly construct him) means that the other engines have a reason to want to get vengeance on him. In particular, my plan for some of the other engines who aren't in the movie proper rather depends upon it. I want to do stuff with Edward, and having one of his closer friends get killed and made into this creature gives me a reason to do so.
Now, what happens when they bring BoCo back to the TV show proper? You should know by now that I have plans for everything! Won't tell you what yet, but let's just see what the years have in store for us before we get there.