WOW I AM PICKING UP SPEED. Next chapter has come out really fast! So why wait?!
Once again, I am amazed that I didn't drive anyone off this weird story. Now, quick thing about Magic Railroad. I want to discuss a couple of things with you, so I'll just leave you to mull over them. Firstly, considering that this is the grand finale, I've effectively upped the amount of original content! I understand that this might not be to people's likings, but the Magic Railroad is a shockingly threadbare film when you get down to it, and I want to give you something really special. Secondly, I will be including as many engines as I can from the show itself (Edward, Duck, Oliver, the Scottish twins etc.) just because I feel like it. And thirdly, it's almost a different movie all together.
Just keep that in mind, and I hope you'll enjoy it!
REVIEW TIME!
MattPrice01: 1: Thank you! Glad you enjoyed! 2: Ta! 3: Don't worry, I don't understand it either, and I wrote it!
Radical-sandwiches: He was, wasn't he? That was the last truly screwy bit of time travel stuff from me! For now,...perhaps? Hope this chapter's a bit easier for you! I did like writing Mavis's interactions. Hopefully she'll get a bit more to do as we go along, because I do like writing her!
Game Watch: Glad you liked! Death from Discworld is one of my favorite characters. He's just so...gah! Awesome! I have no idea. This furthers my other belief that Sodor is in reality the last safe haven in a Mad-Max esque world where everything went to shit.
UGX7: Trust me, I too am excited to see how I tackle the CGI seasons! Yep! Eight, and now seven, left to go! BRING IT ON!
AaronCottrel97: Yep! Poor Mavis, all on her own. Give it a watch again! It's a nice bit of fun!
Reality Rejection Service: Yep! Hope it was all okay. I do like throwing James a bone every so often, so I didn't have him suffer that much on the last chapter!
Bronze-Shield: Damn fecking right! I'm glad you liked it, that was what I was going for! Next episode is here good sir!
CUE THE THEME.
He waited and watched.
The day was a long, hot one. Summer had not yet let it's grasp on the year go, and autumn had a long fight ahead of it. In the armor, one could have boiled several lobsters. But to the Juggernaut, such trivial things like sweat no longer had any meaning.
At last, the other arrived. He looked at the Juggernaut, coldly.
"All right." said Duck, grimly. "You wanted to talk? Let's talk."
...
The engines love holiday time.
When it's their own, of course.
But when it is holiday for the humans, most of the engines begin to grumble very, very loudly and whine about how 'we get no rest' and 'we need another engine' as they are wont to do. But they have to knuckle down and do it, otherwise they won't have any grounds to create a union for themselves.
For instance, Percy was taking some trucks to the docks when he passed by the Muddy Field. It had no other name than that, except perhaps the Gate to the Underworld. It was called this because of it's sole occupant come rain or shine.
"Hello Percy!" said Terrance, his smile stretching wider and wider. "Nice day for it, isn't it?"
"To get your eyes moving again? I mean, you haven't moved them for the past...what is it, fourteen years now? I can't tell. Nice day for what, you-" Percy hesitated, and quickly swapped out the insult for a compliment. Just in case Terrance remembered it on the day of the Apocalypse. "-good tractor person, you!?"
"Mrs Kyndley's daughter is getting married today!"
"Congratulations, Terrance!"
"I'm not marrying her, you nit. Apparently someone's got her up the duff, and the boyfriend has to marry her now so that Callan doesn't try and roast her alive at the stake."
"Oh yes, of course!" Percy tried to sound happy, but secretly he was wondering something that most engines wonder around the time of weddings. Can an engine love? He puffed through the Hackenbach tunnel towards the cottage. Of course, he knew that there were some attachments that might be classified as love, such as Toby and Henrietta, but engines were somewhat limited to expressing their emotions. There was no way for them to hug, no way to kiss, and there was certainly no way to...er...do anything sexual.
Thank god for that.
But as they drew closer to the cottage, they saw one of the Kyndley sisters waving a red flag. Percy came to a stop, fearful that there was yet another landslide up ahead and he'd have to listen to his driver's inane attempts to get money from the Bride's family.
"What's the matter?"
"I've forgotten about the good luck package for the bride!"
"And this is a problem for me, a driver who has never seen you before, why?"
"What's a good luck package?"
"it must contain something old, something new, something borrowed and something blue!"
"Well that answers my question." muttered Percy, dryly.
"I'm counting on you. And who knows...perhaps there'll be something in it for you?" She winked at Alec, who ignored Percy's protests and instantly agreed on the spot. Besides, it was rumored that he might be the father of the child, so getting in on the family might not be a bad idea.
"We'll certainly try!"
...
It was a slow day at the yard. Edward, Toby and Mavis were on a tea break, and just shooting the breeze.
"All right. Got a hypothetical for you both." Toby swallowed down another bit of tea, winced as the pain suddenly came back, and carried on. "So, you're in charge of making a movie, right? And you have to make a film of an British cartoon. Which one would you choose?"
The other two considered this.
"I'd go with Raggy Dolls." remarked Mavis. "If it wasn't for the fact that Toy Story ripped that off a few years back."
"Captain Scarlet for me." Edward said. "I reckon one could do some really dark but spectacular stuff with that. A mediation of death, war, the human condition, past wrongs coming back to haunt the present...ah yeah, good stuff."
"I'm surprised neither of you chose our very own show."
"Ah-" Edward said, with an air of authority "-but they'd just screw it up! You have to remember that unlike those two shows, we transcend cultures! I hear that they've got some random celebrity down on his luck off the street to do redubbing over in America!"
"Which one?"
"I think it was one of the Baldwin brothers...Billy, I think. But the point is, if we did have a movie made, the Americans would probably bugger it up somewhere."
"Oh what, like include random magical elements that are completely at odds with the lore established thus far?"
"And having the story focus on what they've done over the states instead of what actually made it popular over here?"
"And randomly cutting out an engine who was pretty important to the entire show up until that point, yeah!"
"Oh come now Edward. No one would just cut an engine like, say, you out of the final product? What would the point of that be?" Toby laughed, and the others laughed along with him. What a silly idea!
"So, this hypothetical movie, Toby. Who'd you cast?"
"Well, for myself, I'd go with Peter Sallis. Gordon would be Micheal Gambon, Thomas...Ringo Starr? Maybe if we could get him back?"
James whistled to Percy as he drew in. The red engine was still feeling the after effects of the fire that had very nearly claimed his life.
"EDWARD! YOU'RE BLUE!"
Everyone looked at Percy. "Yeeeeeeeeeees." Edward remarked, carefully. "Your point being?"
"I NEED TO STUFF YOU INTO A PACKAGE."
Edward sighed. "Okay. Toby, Mavis, catch up with you later."
"Sure thing." Toby and Mavis rang and honked their bell and horn respectively before hurrying off back to the quarry.
Edward returned his attention to the somewhat baffled Percy and put on his most worn and patient looking smile. "All right, do you want to run that last bit by me again?"
"We've got to find a good luck package so that Alec can get in good with the Kyndley family and maybe not have to pay child support for whatever reason. Do you know what that is?"
"Oh yes. It's a load of old tosh that's what it is. Let's see...something old, something new-"
"Something borrowed and something blue, thank you Edward, I got that bit! But where the hell do I find one?! And, by the way, we do have a railway to run after all, so I have no idea why I've been gang-pressed into doing this stupid work!"
Edward smirked. "Because your driver is a right prat?"
"Aside from that, I mean."
"They're probably staring you in the smokebox...or in your face. Oh, hang about, have to get the special train ready! Isn't that right Bo-Oh wait he's on the mainland." Edward's smile cracked a little. "Ah. Well. Taking special guests to the wedding sounds like a blast!"
Edward later locked himself in Wellsworth and started banging his head against the wall.
...
"You are taking this well." The Juggernaut looked this way and that. "I suppose that your two saviors from the night of the Flood are around here somewhere, are they not?"
"They are. I don't suppose you think me stupid enough to try and take you alone for a second time?"
"I do not believe you to be a stupid engine, Montague. You are unlike these Sudrians." The Juggernaut's breathing came across as rather heavy, weary, like someone who had grown far too old for this sort of thing. "You're on the wrong side."
"Ah of course. The side that wants to take over the world, kill everything that dares to have a different opinion and is made up of a bunch of assholes. Yes, I'm definitely working for the wrong side, me."
"Those same words could be applied to your aristocratic friends. Scotsman, Truro, Duchess of Hamilton, Mallard, Green Arrow, you really think they care about you and this Island? This is a wild goose chase they have sent you on. Lady, if she ever was, is no longer here." The Juggernaut seemed to realize that he was getting a bit too emotional, and calmly returned to what passed for a stoic voice. "You think it was I who killed your boss? St Eustace, wasn't it? Much as I wish it were true- For I held no love lost towards the fool -I got there in time to extinguish only the final embers of life."
"Oh? Then who was it then? It was you who attacked the convoy, I'm sure of that."
"It was. But if you look for who was it that killed St Eustace in such a bloody manner, it was not me. I do not kill engines like that painfully. Why would I? It leaves a calling card that can be traced back to me. No, if I had done it, I would have rammed him off a siding somewhere, or blown him up with the rest of your little friends."
"So who was it, then?"
"Truro."
"Now I know you're nuts." Duck laughed. "Did you hear that, lads!? He's telling us that City of Truro, of all engines, killed one of our best advisers! You might as well accuse Cliff Richards of being a hitman for hire!"
"Oh, you don't know as much as you think." The Juggernaut laughed- Actually laughed! It was a horrible noise, like he had forgotten how to, and with the various filters on his speech, it made him sound positively demonic. "You think you're working for the side of the Angels!? You're not! Your friend Stepney had the right idea, believe you me. But like I say, you are smarter than that. I believe you already know something is wrong with this whole setup. So I'll leave you with this little morsel to consider..." He leaned towards Duck, who braced himself. And he whispered one sentence.
"There are no communication difficulties."
So saying, he backed away and vanished from sight the second he rounded the bend.
...
When Percy arrived at the docks, he looked all around him, and then stopped, because the salt water was getting in his eyes. But once he had stopped his watering eyes, he spotted a bright shiny pair of buffers. "Bloody hell!" he remarked. "Is that what they look like brand new?! Ours just look like shit! And we've found our new thing!"
"Quite right, Percy. You're the best wingman. I'll speak to the foreman." Alec ambled on over, and soon returned beaming proudly. "Foreman said we can take them, and borrow the truck as well! Two things off our list!"
Somewhere, James screamed in terror as he came off the rails entering Kirk Ronan. "WHERE THE HELL WERE THE BUFFERS WHEN I NEEDED THEM!?" he wailed, before someone threw a brick at his face.
Back at the docks, Percy was worried. "B-B-B-But what about the old?! I can't convince Toby to head over here, and Edward's off doing...his own thing. "
"We'll find them as we do! Now, we best be on our way. We have actual work to do, of all the rubbish I've ever heard, that takes the biscuit!"
Soon, they reached Tidmouth Hault, where Oliver was busy nursing a hangover, whilst Douglas tutted sympathetically. Percy heard a voice as he shunted the trucks into the siding.
"Hello Percy!"
"GOD!?"
"Close. It's only me, Gladys."
"Old Slow Coach!"
"That's not my actual name-"
"You're old!"
"...Yes Percy, I am. Rub it in my face, why don't you?" Percy explained what the hell was going on and OSC reluctantly agreed to do her bit. But Percy was still not satisfied.
"Now, all we need is something blue."
Alec coughed.
"Something blue."
Alec pointed to his blue uniform.
"Something...blue."
"Oh for- You'll see!" And soon Percy's unusual and very unreliable train was on it's way through the tunnel in the cliff. They arrived at Smelly-by-the-Sea in good time, where the wedding was to take place. And there was an old engine shed at the end. Bulstrode was nearby having his face removed. Yes, it was the first time that any sentient vehicle had had a face-lift. BA-DUM-TISH!
But in the engine shed was a certain blue bastard.
"What do you think of this?"
"It's a bit shit, isn't it?"
"Do you mind?! We went to a lot of effort finding confetti for this!"
"Bust my buffers, Thomas, how much did they offer to pay you?"
"Excuse me, I'm the Something Blue, I demand a bit of respect."
"Jog off, asshole."
"NOW PERCY-" said Alec, sensing a brawl between the two of them "-Mrs Kyndley's lass has asked you to pull the wedding train! And be her special guest! Work with e on this, I will give you a payrise!"
...
"And the winner of Miss Sodor 1945, is...drum roll please..."
"Ye gods, I remember why Jobling had to file for bankrupcy back in the 70's now. He was shit at hosting." Carlin sighed as the drum roll continued on for what felt like forever. Benn had passed out in a alcoholic haze a long time ago, and as the designated driver, he had to stay awake.
"-Miss Kyndley of Hackenbach!"
The young Miss Kyndley took to the stage and bowed and thanked everyone, while Miss Shining Time quietly backed down the stage towards the exit. Standing up, Carlin gave a slight wave. Tasha beamed as she recognized him. "Hello there!"
"Sorry we left so abruptly. Timeline change."
"I know. Lady told us. It's good to see you both!" She frowned. "Is he going to be okay?"
"Jury's still out on that." Carlin grinned. "You should have won by the way. Her looks are going to go right down the toilet after this!" As she laughed, he held out a milkshake. "Fancy a sip?"
"I'm technically an adult now, Carlin...do you have a first name?"
Carlin shrugged. "I used to. Once. Long time ago. Where's Burnett and Pete?"
"Hello there!" Pete grinned. "That bitch cheated you, Tash."
"Pete!"
"I was about to say the same thing...slightly less coarse, of course." Burnett sighed and looked at his watch. "Fancy a ride to see Lady, guys?"
"Sure. Help me with Benn?"
One half-stumble, half dragging later, the four of them dropped Benn on the floor of Jock's cab, and they were off to the secret location.
...
"This is boring." complained Percy an hour later. Edward and Thomas agreed with him. So far they'd sat outside the church with the smell of fish wafting over them and turning their stomachs.
"Is it too late to ask that we just go home?"
As soon as the bride and groom left, the Fat Controller addressed everybody, before the groom got to...undress the bride. WA-HEY! "Ladies and gentleman!" Already he sounded like he'd had a bit too much to drink "May I preschent the good luck package! An old bag, a new piece of tat, a bit of stolen junk and a blue engine I really need a refund for!"
"That's no way to talk about Edward!"
"He was referring to you, Thomas!"
"All found by a little green caterpillar with red stripes!" Alec elbowed him hard. "And his crew, and his crew!"
Whistles and cheers rang out. Mostly because the speech was over.
"Thank you Thomas!" said the bride. "And thank you, Percy! It's the best good luck package ever!" And then she kissed Percy.
Thomas stared in horror. "THE LITTLE TOERAG IS ONE UP ON ME ON THE KISS COUNT!" he screamed as Percy turned bright red and was unable to say anything. As the bride moved away to join the groom, who appeared to be rather in a hurry, Percy grinned stupidly.
He didn't open his mouth until they were back at the shed. "I like weddings!"
"Enjoy your kiss?" growled Thomas through a fake smile. Percy grinned and pretended to be asleep.
...
The next morning, they awoke to three things. One, the news that the groom had promptly run off back to his home country, having successfully gotten his visa, while the bride promptly headed over with Nancy, the guard's daughter, to get out of town for a bit.
Two, the father of the unborn child was still being hotly contested by, but not limited to: Alec, Jem Cole, Jerimiah Jobling, Bulstrode, Mr Percival, Him From Chippy, The Italian Barber, The Firelighter, The Stationmaster, Farmer Finnay, Farmer Trotter, Farmer McColl, Old Bailey, anyone of the family Norris, Hercules from the Bigg City Port, the Fat Clergyman and Bobblehat.
Three, James was angry.
"TAKE MY BUFFERS, WOULD YOU!?"
"Oh shit." said Thomas and Percy.