We're almost done! AAAAAAAAAAH.
REVIEW TIME.
MattPrice01: Really enjoyed Season 4 more so than the last season. I do hope they go back to just solving actual crimes for a bit, if it comes back. Ah well, you never know what the future has in store for Carlin.
UGX7: I'm glad I did okay! I hope she recovers!
Radical-sandwiches: Thank you! Yeah, it's a bit extreme. Funny enough, the trucks were actually going to be the main antagonist throughout this season in the scenes in the present day. But I had so much else going on that it had to fall by the wayside. I've included a few nods here and there with them orchestrating more of the disasters as a reference to that. I can confirm that they'll be having a part in Magic Railroad, mostly because the trucks are surprisingly a non-factor in that movie, and I want to fix that.
TrainManiac: That's fine! I debated on whether or not to add that in there at the last second, the indication was that it was related to Lady somehow, but I didn't explicitly confirm it because I was worried that people would get annoyed at how I keep shoving story stuff into the parody. Hopefully this one is a bit better, I've tried my best. Some twists here that I don't think people will see coming.
Game Watch: That's deep. Deep, deep stuff. Glad you agree! Sherlock Season 4 was a great step in the right direction, in my opion.
AaronCottrel97: Yeah, I agree. The music in this one really does help it, I'm disappointed they didn't use it for more episodes.
Reality Rejection Service: That he has. And also, you know, he's drunk so he's far better at telling them.
Bronze-Shield: I agree! That's why I've kind of gone for a bit of a mix. There's definitely a bit of lampshading of some of the convenient parts, but I did want to convey the sense of how powerful Boulder is. And...well, the ending I've left practically untouched. It's a pretty haunting scene, if I'm honest, and I hope what I've written here enhances that.
CUE THE THEME.
The Fat Controller looked wearily at the report. Things were not going well up at the new quarry. "It should have been finished by now!" he almost shouted to the other members of the Railway Board "It's not a question of money, is it? Because we have more of that than we've had since the time of my father! And it can't be that the site is unsafe, we sent in the workers back in 96, they said it was perfectly fine! So why is it!?"
No one spoke for a bit. Then one man ventured forth an opinion. "There are some who believe that...the quarry is..." He struggled with his words, before finally deciding to dive right in. "Most of the workmen are superstitious, and they believe that there is something that very much does not want to be disturbed located in the quarry."
Hatt groaned. "A ghost!? Really?! Another one!? Look, the Pinchers have taken over most of the work on the railway itself, but I'm paying the workmen extra to do their jobs and excavate the shit out of that place! I've got the entire Narrow Gauge railway working on it, I've drafted in as many of the construction vehicles as I can...god, I wish Miss Jenny was here. She'd actually have had this done ages ago!"
...
The cause of this lack of work came in the form of a mysterious boulder. What's so mysterious about a boulder, you may ask? Well, firstly, it was the only one of it's kind, and it stood atop a mountain silent and proud. Another reason it was so mysterious was the fact that many people had said that it was the guardian of this section of the Island.
Everyone laughed at that. They were all incredibly drunk whenever someone brought that up.
And yet, when the workmen arrived with several of the vehicles to build the quarry, things started happening. Tools were misplaced, people started getting ill and the bad feelings between many of those working there began to be amplified.
George and Butch had already gotten into a serious argy bargy over the uprising of road vehicles to take out those who hogged the rails. George, of course, was for it, while Butch was horrified at the thought of anyone getting hurt. George growled, and spat at Butch, and then they went at each other. The steamroller was sent off to the corner of the quarry, to be sent clamped once again once work had finished this week.
Rusty the little diesel arrived with another load of rock for the engines at the workcamp at the bottom. Thomas and Percy were busy sitting there, admiring the anatomically correct penis carved into the mountain.
"Where's all this rock coming from?"
"Well gee, Percy, I do wonder! Maybe the fairy of the rock came down in the middle of the night and threw it at Rusty!? What the hell kind of question is that!?"
"There's no cause to be rude, Thomas! Just because you didn't get enough sleep last night!"
"And whose fault is that?!"
"It's the new quarry!" Rusty said, sensing another argument coming and utilizing their techniques that had been practiced on Sir Handel and Duncan to calm the two engines down. "This mountain rock's good for many things, like...I don't know, the stuff rock is used for. But it's dangerous getting it."
"Why?" asked Thomas, who had been spared most of the ordeals because of his branch-line's troubles. Sales were down, which meant that he had to work extra hard there to make sure that the railway was justified to keep it open. There were rumors flying about, rumors with far more clout behind them this time, that certain areas were already being prepared to be shut down for the foreseeable future.
Rusty hesitated. "You have to promise not to laugh."
"We're Sudrians, Rusty, we always laugh. Whether it's funny or not. It's kind of our USP."
"Well, it's because of a big boulder, I think it's watching me."
There was a pause, and then the entire yard burst out laughing hysterically. Rusty went James-levels of red and was unable to speak from sheer embarassment for a good few minutes.
"I- HEHEHE- ahem, how can it be?!" Percy sniggered, setting off Thomas once again. "Boulders aren't people! They don't have eyes!"
The National Association for Boulder Equality proceeded to draft a strongly worded letter to the Fat Controller for Percy's slur against all of rock and boulder kind. Percy would later be forced to apologize by taking a rock out for a date. It was surprisingly not the worst date he'd ever had.
"That's as may be, Percy, but there's something strange about this one!"
"Yeah? How?"
"Well, for example, it has Gordon's face on it for no explainable reason. It looks a lot like Kenneth Williams, if you ask me!" Just then, Edward arrived, breaking up the 'Let's all laugh at Rusty' party by delivering a new piece of machinery for the quarry. "What's that?!" Rusty asked, surprised.
"It's called Thumper!"
"Does Bambi know you've taken him?"
"Hush, Thomas. Apparently it helps collect the rock faster!" replied Edward, blithely. It had been one of those days, and he really wanted to get out of here before anything went wrong, as it surely would do any second.
...
1955.
The Malevolence flew up into the sky, blotting out the sun, almost completely eclipsing it. Everyone else screamed or ran for cover, save for Boomer, who stared up at the mighty creature with something approaching awe in his expression.
"It's beautiful."
Carlin looked at Benn. "Do we have any way of stopping that...thing?!"
"I don't know! We can see if there's another time portal, that might get us back to the present, we can get our weapons and-"
"There's no need to worry!" Jock sounded confident. Too confident for his own good. "You saw how we dealt with intruders before, and Miss Lady here has taken care of this beast when it was at it's full power! And with half of it completely gone, there's no way that it can pose that much of a threat! Right, Lady?"
Lady was silent.
"Lady?"
Rex answered for her. "You'd be right Jock, save for one thing. Last time, the Malevolence hadn't been quietly soaking up every bit of magic that Lady's been pouring into this Island. It's been fed on a diet of pure energy for what feels like a thousand years, it's going to be hard for us to find a way to stop it, let alone prevent it's death from completely wiping everyone on the Island off the face of the Earth!"
"Oh sure, Rex, bring us all down, why don't you?"
"Mike, shut it!" Bert glared. "That goes for you too, Rex, this is no time to be arguing! We need to engage with this creature, get it away from any populated areas and then...make sure that everyone forgets about this!"
"What is going on!?" shouted Burnett. "Lady, what is that thing?!"
"I...I don't suppose anyone knows where Pete is." Tasha responded, her voice shaking somewhat. She was still in her wedding dress, though much muck and grime had covered it, and the veil had long since been torn away.
Carlin froze. "God damn it. I saw him head up to the Castle, but I don't-" He paused, looked at Benn, and then sighed. "Okay, one thing at a time. Lady, you need to take care of this right f**king now."
Lady shook herself. "I...yes. Burnett, Tasha, I will explain everything to you once we get out of here, but we need to get to the Magic Railroad. If the Malevolence finds it, he'll be able to spread over the world-"
"Exposition later!" Benn snapped. "Carlin, we need to get to the portal!"
"But-"
There was a loud crack. Everyone froze. No one moved for a good ten seconds.
Then there was another crack. And another. And another. Tree after tree was cut aside, ripped asunder, thrown to the wind, anything and everything that was in the way of the Malevolence was ripped aside and removed from the equation.
And then a huge tendril of black energy jumped forward and stabbed Bert through the boiler.
...
Later that day, Thumper went at the mountainside like a man possessed. He might have been possessed, actually, seeing as he had yet to blink. Or speak. Or even breathe. No one was quite sure what to make of him. But the men were pleased, after all, that was more work they weren't doing getting done faster. But none of them thought to check the boulder.
They were idiots like that.
Reports soon came in, however, that there were the warning signs of a major avalanche. There was no sign of it to the outside eye, but better safe than sorry, thought Rusty as they headed back on up there. The rain had started to come down, much to their distaste, as it meant they would be the only one getting wet. The workmen had buggered off home, thanks to a rather dodgy union, and they had left Thumper and the other vehicles covered up.
Which is, when you think about it, a very optimistic way of looking at things. And possibly idiotic as well. There is that.
At last, they reached the base of the mountain. The driver got out and looked up, grimly wiping away the rain. Rusty looked up and shuddered. Above, staring down with a look of distaste and disgust, was the Boulder.
With no warning whatsoever, a large slab of rock thundered down, slamming into the rails with great force. So great, in fact, that part of the rails buckled completely. Rusty was shocked, so shocked that their face began to expand again. Once more, he very much hoped that their driver was right in that soon enough, they'd settle on a proper model.
The driver was worried. "There's no point in going up there to look now. The rain's loosened the rock completely, and there'll be no way to tell the damage until the weather is better. Hatt should leave well enough alone up here!"
"I think it's Boulder, wanting us to go away."
"You've been on Henry's drugs, haven't you!?" They left quickly. But as they rounded the corner, Rusty heard a curious sound, like a furious shriek of some sorts. The little diesel jumped out of their skin, and saw a flash of what appeared to be a face on the great rock, before it faded back.
"Shit." the little diesel muttered.
...
There was a split second pause, before everyone jumped into action.
Lady flung herself in front of Bert, who was already beginning to leak a lot of blood, summoning forth an force field that wrapped around him, stopping anything from getting inside. Mike and Rex howled in rage, and levitating above the air, lunged for the Malevolence. The dragon laughed, and with a swipe of his claws, he batted aside Rex like a cat with a ball of wool. But Mike was quicker, and faster. His magic reached around and slashed at the dragon's stomach.
Benn and Carlin watched on in horror. Then, a gentle tap to the back of their shoulders made them spin around and, as one, punched at whoever was behind them.
"No need for that, sir." said the Shopkeeper. He handed Carlin and Benn something, then winked and strode off into the trees, vanishing from sight almost instantly. Carlin stared down at the grenade, slightly bewildered. If you had told him that he'd be fighting a giant dragon with a grenade alongside Mr Benn a few years ago, he'd have slapped you across the face.
Benn, meanwhile, had started using his weapon already. The sound of the Gatling Gun's bullet cutting through the air with near precise accuracy was alarming, and Carlin had to fling himself to the ground to avoid being hit. The Malevolence flinched and snarled as the bullets smashed into it's form, but aside from that, nothing was stopping him.
"Take this, you bastard!" Jock rushed towards the dragon, at full speed, his eyes crackling with energy and white magic gathering all around him. But before he could even launch himself off the rails, he howled in agony as what appeared to be lightning struck him dead center in the eye. Which was all the distraction needed for the Malevolence to pick him up and crush him between his claws
Carlin staggered upright to his feet. He was vaguely aware of Burnett shouting in horror, and Tasha's mouth hanging open in complete shock. He turned.
Boomer was striding towards them, lightning dancing around in his hands. His eyes appeared to be leaking the same dark energy currently from the Malevolence. And his smile...Oh lord his smile. It didn't appear human anymore.
Lady hadn't noticed. She was flying right in the line of sight of the Malevolence, her body beginning to glow a bright white. Carlin wondered, was this what had happened the last time they had battled? Both Rex and Mike dodged about, distracting the dragon, while she appeared to be charging up. Her eyes flashed white, her body shimmered and glowed and Carlin saw for a moment the ancient being behind the metal-
But his legs were moving in another direction now, he seemed to be aware of what was about to happen before it actually did so. With a mighty roar, he rugby tackled Boomer to the ground.
But he was too late.
A single blast of lightning struck inside Lady's cab. She sparked and jerked around as if she had stuck her fingers in the socket. And the Malevolence took this opportunity to stab her, right below her face, with the great claws.
And he knew that he had won.
...
The next day, the sun shone down. And at Sodor Metrology, more weather experts decided to leave the Island in search of an easy place to predict the weather. The vehicles were back again, this time with Terrance, who was providing motivation. That is, motivation to finish as they would never have to stare at his grinning face ever again. It was surprisingly effective.
Rusty was up once again, and was growing thoroughly sick of this place.
And then it happened.
"Boulder's moving!"
"Don't be daft, Rusty! It can't be!"
But it was.
Slowly, at first, but gathering more and more speed as it reached the cliff's edge, the Boulder dropped down and hit the ground with a real earth-shaking thump. Rusty stared in horror for a moment, and then relaxed. At least now that Boulder had fallen, they could report it to Sir Topham Hatt and be done with it.
This was a mistake.
Boulder began to move towards Rusty. The little diesel's eyes went as wide as plates, and they reversed backwards hard. "It's rolling along our line!"
"THERE'S NOTHING WRONG WITH YOUR EYESIGHT, IS THERE?!" shouted the driver, now terrified out of his wits. The Boulder moved like the Terminator, slowly, but with no sign of stopping any time soon. Rusty rushed by the workman's hut, and quickly slid into the siding on the right. If Boulder was to follow the rail, he'd head off towards the abandoned area of the mountains, where he could hurt no one save for the odd sheep.
"We'll wait until Boulder passes by, then we'll move and tell Hatt that there's no money on this Earth that can make us stay here!"
They waited, and waited, and waited.
There was no sign of Boulder.
"JIMINY CRICKET!"
The driver had looked back casually, and had suffered a major heart attack. Boulder had somehow managed to do a Slasher and TELEPORT behind them. For a moment he was lost for words, and the idea of moving didn't seem to occur to him until the rock was nearly atop him.
Rusty screamed. They felt no shame in that. The Boulder was making that horrible shrieking noise again, the kind of noise that echoed in one's mind over and over and over again, no matter how hard one tried to focus on something else. Ahead was a small junction. One line led uphill, the other continued downwards towards the bridge and the cliffs.
The little diesel rushed up the hill as Boulder thundered past. It whacked Rusty on the back, causing them to scream, but carried on.
Rusty proceeded to have a minor panic attack. A workman rushed back up the line to warn someone at the hut to sound the alarm, while the driver coaxed the little diesel on, despite the fact that they really, really didn't want to go on with this.
Meanwhile, Skarloey was coming up the narrow passageway (Stop laughing! This is a serious story!) with a selection of trucks. He was singing a little song to himself in Welsh, which when translated went something like this.
"I'm Skarloey *hic*, and I'm drunk as all hell
You could tell me to go sober, but it'd be a hard sell
Cause though Handel and Duncan really like to mock
Try and make me, and you can all suck my- Is that a rock?"
Obviously that wasn't part of the original lyrics. He stared at the Boulder, which was moving faster and faster now, so fast that it appeared to be sparking. Things that might have been words at one point spilled from his mouth in a panic, as his driver slammed into reverse as fast as he could.
It was only be sheer luck that there happened to be a convenient siding for him to veer into. Boulder thundered past, smashing into a watertower and sending it sailing into the sky. It hit Skarloey on the head. He considered himself to have gotten off lucky. "We...we have to warn the yard!"
"How?!" shouted Rusty, as they briefly stopped. "The phones are down! OH HELL!" And off the diesel went again, as Boulder began bouncing off the walls of the canyon. One bounce nearly decapitated Duncan, another just barely scraped Peter Sam's roof and Sir Handel was convinced that he was a gonner before Bertram hurried forward and shoved him out of the way.
And still the Boulder didn't slow down one bit. It ran and ran and ran, getting even faster, if that was possible. Ahead, Rheneas stared in horror as it rushed towards him.
For once, every personality in Rheneas screamed at him to back away fast and get the hell out of dodge. "It's running loose!" He screamed, fear overriding the urge to be either dark and edgy or wholesome and bland. Anything to get away from that...thing!
He rushed across the viaduct, and...well, once again, he was incredibly lucky in that someone had clearly gone a bit siding mad. He rolled off the rails and his cab smacked into the cliff. Boulder was now so fast it was practically a blur as it roared on past him.
"Rather a smash than a squash!" said the driver. The fireman said nothing. He was out with a massive concussion.
...
Lady stared, blankly, at the large claw. She opened her mouth to say something, perhaps a taunt or an act of defiance, but all that came out was...blood. And lots of it. The Malevolence stared, and started to laugh, harder than ever. "At last! AT! LAST! So long, so many centuries wasted! My word, what have I missed?! You have Mr Boomer to thank for that! And for his service, he shall be greatly rewar-"
"NOT TODAY!" Carlin raised his whistle, and as it's piercing shriek filled the air, he teleported atop Lady. "You're beginning to piss me off!" He declared, and punched the Engine equivalent of Satan in the face.
This would have been a lot more effective had, ironically, his attack been that effective. The Malevolence stared at Carlin. "Was...was that the best you had to offer?"
"No. But this is."
The Malevolence stared down at the grenade, completely baffled. "Wha-"
As the explosion echoed out, Lady fell to the ground. She swallowed back a scream as the jagged rocks dug into her already damaged chassis. She tried to move her wheels. No dice. She tried to shuffle forwards. Again, nothing. It was only when she felt the gentle hand of Burnett operate the regulator that at last, she began to move. Slowly at first, wobbling and swaying, but picking up speed, she limped away.
Boomer was already moving towards Burnett, his face turning bright purple with rage and anger and bitterness. He made a huge leap, and landed atop Lady's bunker. He raised his hands, crackling with energy and brought them down.
"STOP!"
Boomer froze, the lightning mid hurl, his eyes darting this way and that, looking completely and utterly baffled as to what was happening. Burnett opened his own eyes, cautiously, and looked at Tasha. She was snarling, concentrating as hard as she could on maintaining the spell that had frozen Boomer in place.
Then, with one last great effort, she sent him flying backwards, slamming into tree after tree after tree. He didn't stop until he reached the very edge of the grotto. Then he lay still, unconscious. She slumped back, spent. Burnett made sure she was all right before driving Lady on as fast as she could away from the Malevolence.
Mike and Rex landed roughly besides Bert. Mike was visibly bleeding from the mouth, and making horrible choking sounds, almost choking on his own fluids. Rex was no better, large gashes carved into the side of his boiler and tender. They looked so weary. Carlin hurried towards them, not sure if he could help at all, but he felt that he had to try.
"Carlin!" Bert wheezed, his eyes rolling backwards despite his best effort. "G-get...get Lady and the others to safety...get them out of here."
"They're gone, they're gone, sssh, Bert, don't talk, let's get you to the Works, or something!"
"The way we are now?!" Bert laughed, and then stopped, because it hurt to do so.
The Malevolence laughed. "Oh? And your mother takes me right to the ultimate source of power! I think it's time I saw this Magic Railroad for myself!" He flapped his wings and was about to take off when something tried to hit him. Almost out of boredom than anything, he looked down to see Willo the Wisp, still trying to fight on. "Oh, I remember you!"
"You won't get her! She's gone!"
"Well...that's a matter of perspective now, isn't it? I've waited a thousand years, I can wait a few more." The Malevolence smiled. "Now, let's see. You are far too energetic for your own good. You sealed me away in rock for all eternity. Let's see how you like it."
Willo screamed as the Malevolence muttered something under his breath. The dragon dropped him, transforming into a cloud of thick black smoke that roared in Lady's direction without a second thought to the ghost, who had hit the ground very hard indeed.
The wisp stared in horror at his hand. It was slowly, but surely, transforming into solid rock.
Benn grabbed Carlin. "We need to follow!"
"But, what about them-?"
"We know a place where we can hide, until the time is right." Bert sounded somewhat confident. "Just, for the love of god, don't let him win!"
Carlin stared for a moment, feeling completely helpless, before nodding. He and Benn didn't look back as they charged forward into the forest, racing to join the chase.
...
At the bottom, Percy was collecting trucks. He was also in deep conversation with Butch.
"So I said to him, I said "George, you're an ass!" and he went so red!"
"Congrats, Butch, it only took you like...three or four years to tell that asshole what for, but-" Percy paused mid-speech. The ground was shaking. "What?" And then he saw it. Eighteen tons of pure rock roared towards him. Percy shut his eyes and waited for the end.
The end, as it turned out, was fiery and loud and very, very terrifying. Something horrible and sticky splashed all over him (Oil, from the smell) and the sound of explosions told him that another gunpowder stockpile had been found. But this was not a joke any more. He felt Butch latch onto his coupling with his hook, and he was yanked to safety as the entire world went orange for a horrible second.
And then all was deathly quiet.
Thomas was the first to arrive on the scene. "PERCY!" He shouted, rushing forward. "Are you hurt?! Did it hurt you!? God, I hope you're okay! I don't know what I'd do if you were...ahem, never mind."
"I'm fine...thanks to Butch."
"Can I get a speaking role next season?"
"Don't count on it." Thomas was shaken up to say the least. He insisted that he get Percy down to the works to be checked over, despite the latter's protests that he was perfectly fine. Toby arrived too, and after seeing the two off, he turned to see the Narrow Gauge engines huddled together.
"Why did you save me?" Sir Handel sounded on the verge of hysteria. Bertram frowned.
"I...don't know."
He looked at Toby, who gave a sympathetic smile. Bertram shook his head. This was not part of the mission.
The Fat Controller stared at the wreckage. His knees felt quite wobbly, and he staggered to the ground, sitting down so that he didn't faint and fall on his fat face. He was aware that the drivers and firemen were giving him hell. And he deserved it. "The workmen were right. Close the quarry and the mine down. Get everything out." He looked at Boulder, wearily. "We...We should have left this part of the Island alone."
...
"You...you sure that this is safe?" Rex whispered, a horrible hollow sound echoing amongst his voice.
"Entombed inside a mountain, waiting for someone to find us?" Mike added, aware of how the blood was making it hard for anyone to understand him. He coughed and spluttered, trying to avoid the feeling that this would be the last time they'd be awake for quite some time.
"Better than any other option, Engines can sleep forever. We just have...to wait." Bert used the last of his magic to close the mountain in on them. To the outside world, it would look as though it had never been disturbed. You wouldn't know there was anyone there, let alone three little engines in need of sleep to heal their wounds "And besides, Willo's up there. And he's got our back."
Willo the Wisp sighed, a sad and lonely little sigh that echoed across the mountain. The Malevolence had struck a rather horrible blow. The once free moving spirit, full of laughter and mirth, was now slowly being transformed into a single and solitary feature of the landscape. He was trapped inside the body of a huge and imposing boulder, that weighed about eighteen tons. If he concentrated hard enough, he could just about materialize a face through the rock.
But he could wait. He would wait. He would guard the engines from any harm, any trespassers...until such time as the last remaining link to Lady that the Island had were repaired enough to return.
All he had to do was wait. No one would want to disturb him.
And so Willo stood, and succumbed to his eternal prison, until there was nothing left of him. Just...the Boulder.
...
They moved Boulder to a hill, only a few miles from the quarry. They put up a variety of ways to stop it from rolling down the hill and causing trouble yet again. Rusty is sure that on a clear night, it's sighs are being carried by a melancholic wind to the mountain which it used to stand and guard, proud and defiant.
I wonder if Rusty is right.
Don't you?
Okay. So, here's what happened, for those who do not understand.
-Willo got transformed into Boulder (I'm just using that as an example of how powerful the Malevolence is, seeing as how he can trap a ghost).
-The reason he was disturbed was because the workmen were getting closer to finding the Small Railway Engines before they were fully rested.
-I'm going by Duke logic of rules, an engine can sleep for however long and still remain alive.
-This was always planned to be the case, I felt that explaining Boulder might be interesting.
-What if Jock appears in the TV show? I have a backup plan, once again.
-Snow, next time, is going to be big. As in, the actual episode is going to be very small when compared to all the other stuff I'm putting in.