Disclaimer: I do not own the concepts or characters of the Harry Potter universe.
Lily descended the hill towards the Great Lake with a satisfied smile adorning her face. It hadn't been easy; her friend's agreeable attitude from the previous day had given way to distrust and almost reluctance towards speaking with the headmaster. She was afraid they would start to seriously fight about it, but he had thankfully relented and agreed to accept the offer she'd helped broker with Professor McGonagall.
"If anyone can help Sev with his problem, it's Dumbledore."
The grass crunched rhythmically beneath her shoes as the rolling hills around Hogwarts were finally behind her and the lake shore came into view. Her smile widened when she noticed that Alice and Mary were already at their usual meeting place. She quickly hastened her pace to join them.
Lily found good company among her fellow Gryffindor witches; Alice and Mary had probably been her closest friends aside from Severus. Alice in particular, had been the older sister Lily had needed since her relationship with Petunia had begun to fall apart, and was happy to offer all sorts of advice to the two younger, Muggleborn witches who were new to the world of magic.
It was at this realization that Lily's smile wavered and her pace slowed. "Alice, Mary, Remus, Sev...I've got all of these wonderful friends, but who else does Sev have besides me..? It's no wonder he has so much trouble trusting people; he's really all alone." The irony was not lost on Lily that she, a young Muggleborn who was still learning things about the wizarding world, was finding company much easier than the boy who'd been born into magic. No doubt it was a side-effect of his poor life at home. Lily had two wonderful, supportive parents, but Severus could not say the same. It hurt her knowing how solitary her friend truly was.
She shook herself from her unpleasant thoughts just in time to greet the pair of witches who were seated at the edge of the lake.
Alice was the first to turn to Lily with her always-inviting smile. "Lily! We were just starting to worry you'd miss us again. Sit! The water's perfect!"
Nodding to the Head Girl, Lily sat between them, taking off her shoes and socks to set her bare feet into the water to cool. At the beginning of June, the water's temperature had truly been ideal. It was a habit the three girls had taken up over the years on beautiful days, to relax and catch up. Yet it almost saddened Lily that this would be her last year to do it with Alice in company.
Mary was next to speak, a bit of frustration obvious in her voice. "I heard that you were the reason we lost a huge amount of House Points, Lily. There'd better be a good reason why we're far behind Slytherin now."
Lily sighed. It was obvious that the news wouldn't stay quiet for long, that Gryffindor had lost its sizable lead in points and was primed to lose the House Cup. Even worse that it was because of one of their own Prefects; despite her assurances to Severus the day before, she hoped it wouldn't cause a wedge between her and her friends.
"Potter was making an ass out of himself again. Normally I wouldn't have done it, but he was about to attack Severus. He just got out of the hospital an hour before and I wasn't going to let him go back in."
"Ugh, Snape again?" Mary's hostility only multiplied at the mention of Lily's friend. "Honestly Lily, I thought you were ready to give up on him. Then, all of a sudden he gets hurt and all is forgiven? Have you forgotten what his 'hilarious mate' Mulciber did to me?"
Lily couldn't be mad at Mary's venomous words. It had been, after all, one of the worst things to happen to Gryffindor since their arrival years ago. Mulciber had used the Imperius Curse on Mary earlier that year. Under his control, the girl was told to break up with Sirius Black, who she'd been seeing for over a year. Never one to be shy around women, Sirius had already moved on to a sixth-year Ravenclaw by the time Mary was released from the curse. The poor girl was left a heartbroken mess for weeks.
Everyone in Gryffindor House knew that Mulciber had cast the Unforgivable Curse. But there were no eyewitnesses that had actually seen him curse Mary, and upon submitting his wand to Priori Incantatem, evidence of the curse hadn't come up. He had obviously used someone else's wand, but Veritaserum was forbidden to get to the bottom of the case, so no punishment was given.
It had been an incident which greatly strained Lily's friendship with Severus. It infuriated her that he brushed it off as "just a laugh". Whether he took pleasure in the humiliation of one of the Marauders or a Muggleborn girl, it hardly mattered to Lily because there was no excuse to find humor in it.
"I can still feel that disgusting snake roaming around my mind, telling me what to do and being unable to stop myself! And your precious Snape just sat there laughing and didn't come forward when he obviously knew! My mind was violated, Lily! My life was meddled with!"
Lily put her arm around her crying friend's shoulder. "I know, Mary…" she whispered, trying to soothe her. She ran her petite fingers through Mary's shoulder-length brown hair. "Severus is...changing though. He's apologized for a lot of things, and his relationship with that Slytherin gang seems to be slipping."
Upon seeing Alice raise a questioning eyebrow, Lily just shrugged. "He defended me from Avery the other day, and his attitude has really mellowed."
Mary simply choked back her tears. "I don't care, Lil'. The only way I'll ever give that snake a chance is if he comes forward and turns Mulciber in. I can barely handle sharing oxygen with that monster, let alone a school! I don't know what you see in Snape; if he were half as good as you say he is, he'd have done it already!"
"You're right, Mary. Next time I see him, I'll get what we need for some justice. Before school's out, I promise you, I'll make it happen."
Making his way down to the dungeon, Severus just wanted some time alone in his room while everyone was no doubt occupied with the weather. His conversation with Dumbledore, as it always did, left him with more questions than answers, and it irritated him that the old wizard refused to answer any of his inquiries.
"Why was he so inviting this time, even after Lily left? The last time he saw me in this life, I was the meddling Slytherin who threatened to spill Lupin's secret. What would cause him to suddenly act so caring and compassionately towards me, like he'd seen a sodding ghost?"
Then there was the Rune. It was obvious to Severus that the old wizard clearly had some idea what the secret of it was, yet didn't have the respect for him to actually divulge any useful information. Just taunted him to bring down his Occlumency, as if that would help anything.
It was no secret to Severus how dependent he'd gotten on his mental armor. From the moment of being cast aside by Lily, his life only continued to descend into a maddening hell. The people he'd seen die, the pressures of his duties as a spy, the atrocities committed by Voldemort, the fact that he had no freedom whether under Dumbledore or the Dark Lord, and most of all Lily's death. It was an ever-growing pile of negativity that was never relieved by anything, and rarely, if ever, would he truly lower the barriers all the way. The irony of it all was that the world viewed him as a cold-hearted cynic with little tolerance for emotional outbursts, when he knew that the depths of his emotions would overwhelm him if he stopped using Occlumency.
Still, Dumbledore's hint at an explanation had some merit; both times he had casted successfully were around Lily and in the midst of powerful emotions that went untouched by Occlumency. It would be prudent to at least test the theory further, albeit in the privacy of his Room where no prying eyes could see.
Arriving near the entrance to the Dungeon, Severus bumped into Regulus Black, which had broken his chain of thought. The younger Black looked at Severus with his usual, wicked smile, something that he knew Sirius shared but would never admit to.
"Where you off to, Snape? I'd think you of all people would want to see the show?"
Severus shook his head, "What are you talking about, Black?"
"Well, Rosier and Mulciber cooked up a plan and are about to dish some payback to Potter and my traitor brother. Them and their idiot friends are off to the lake, and they're going to learn what it means to cross our house. Come on, let's watch it together, maybe you can get in a few good spells for what they did to you?"
Severus stopped, icy cold dread washing through his body. Lily always spent time with her friends at the lake; no doubt Potter would be going to try to flirt with her like an idiot. That meant she'd be nearby once the Slytherin gang struck, and he knew there was no way someone like Rosier or Mulciber would hesitate to attack her should she protest.
He didn't register the protests of Regulus to wait as soon as he took off towards the lake in a sprint.
After a while, the conversation had become less serious and the girls started chatting amongst themselves, laughing and smiling when the giant squid peaked its head up in the distance. The girls heard four equally cheerful voices approaching behind them, and turned to see the full group of Marauders coming their way.
"Ladies! You sure can make a lovely day even better!" came the honeyed words of Sirius Black as he approached Mary. "'Specially you, darling. Would you take me back if I said I was sorry?"
Mary's face went a brighter red than Lily's hair, though whether it was from anger or blushing was unclear. "Piss off, Sirius! I learned my lesson not to trust a dog's loyalty!" She quickly stepped out of the water and stormed away.
Sirius turned towards his snickering friends with a playful shrug. "It's a dog's life, gents!"
James however, made his way towards Lily. "You need to settle down, Padfoot. Take me, for example. I've already found the one for me. Enjoying a gorgeous Sunday afternoon and not hidden away in the library. A woman after my own heart!"
Lily snorted, taken aback a bit by James' words. "You've got some gall flirting with me as if yesterday didn't happen, Potter. Haven't I told you to leave me alone?"
"Nope. You tell me to leave Snape alone." James corrected with a knowing smile. "Besides, I didn't want my lasting impression of you to be of that temper before term's up." he said, approaching the lake's edge with Sirius. "Truth be told, I was hoping to see that gorgeous smile of yours. That, and Padfoot and I fancy a swim with the Grindylows!"
Before Lily and Alice could react in protest, the pair of Sirius and James vanished their school clothes. Lily could barely hold back the blush as she saw the boys both clad in swimming trunks they had obviously put on before coming out, their Quidditch-hardened bodies boldly on display as they jumped in.
Emerging from the water with a smile on his face, James called out to the remaining two Marauders. "Moony! Wormtail! Come on in, the water's fantastic!"
Remus simply rolled his eyes with a hint of a smile, while Pettigrew shook his head, teeth chattering in fear.
Turning his head to Lily, James swam near her submerged feet and his smile turned into that of a Cheshire Cat. "What about you, beautiful? Fancy a dip?"
Lily could feel the heat beginning to rise to her face as she could scarcely hold back a smile with her attempt at a scowl. Determined not to let James see her affected by his charms, she kicked her right foot out of the water, splashing him in the face. "In your dreams, Potter. As if I'd let you see me in a bathing suit."
"I never took you for the bashful type, Evans." James said, chuckling with Sirius.
Lily shook her head, unable to believe how she was acting. "Why can't he always be like this? Stop pranking people, stop attacking Sev, and you might just be boyfriend material…"
Before James and Sirius could take a dive down into the lake as they planned, their faces turned hard as they noticed the trio approaching the lake.
"Show time, Prongs." muttered Sirius as he and James quickly pulled themselves out of the water, drawing their wands.
Lily turned her head to see the source of the trouble. Evan Rosier, Jacob Avery, and Linus Mulciber were nearing the lake, wands already in hand.
"Alright, which one of you blood traitors is first to taste payback? Our House's honor was defiled when you got Snape; I reckon the dishonor be repaid two-fold." shouted Rosier, his ever-malevolent glare towards the Gryffindors.
Remus immediately took his place near the girls, knowing what was to come. "Alice, Lily, go get McGonagall. This is going to be bad."
The Head Girl nodded immediately, getting out of the water and heading back to the castle in a rush. Lily, however, stood her ground. Rosier was, by far, the most skilled duelist in their year and knew the Marauders might be seriously hurt if he was around. James and Sirius weren't exactly known for backing down from challenges, and it was clear that waving her Prefect badge would do nothing in this situation.
"Funny, I didn't know you snakes had any honor." came the jeers of James as he cast a Stunner in Rosier's direction, who parried it with a Shield Charm.
"This coming from a Pure Blood who doesn't have the spine to cast any real offensive magic. Confringo!" a violent beam was sent out from Rosier's wand, blasting the ground near the group of Gryffindors. The boom of the noise and the impact of the blast sent Wormtail scurrying away with a terrified screech.
With a smirk, Rosier scanned his eyes across the group like a predator. "Good. Three on three. Let's see you mongrels try even odds on one of us."
Lily glared at the Slytherin. "I'm here, you rotten tyrant!"
All three Slytherin intruders chuckled amongst themselves as Rosier shook his head. "Mudbloods don't count. Run along before I have to send Snape's little pet to the hospital wing."
James glared at him upon hearing the word. "Apologize, you slimy git! Rictusempra!"
Again, Rosier parried the spell with little effort, shaking his head with disapproval. "You always were a joking little swine, Potter, right down to your stupid choice in magic. But since you chose that spell, wanted me to laugh uncontrollably, how about I make you bleed uncontrollably?" He pointed his wand in the group's direction. "Courtesy of Snape."
Non-verbally, Rosier flicked his wand towards Remus, and a flash of light served as a prelude to the young werewolf dropping to the ground as a vicious gash formed on his chest.
James, who prepared a shield charm for himself expecting the attack, was taken off guard when his friend was attacked in his place. "Moony! You bastard! Locomot-"
James was unprepared for a trio of Stunners sent his way by the Slytherins, their movements obviously well-practiced as their foe was sent hurling into the lake.
Sirius had dropped to Remus' side to check on his wounds while Rosier approached the pair of Marauders. That is, until Lily stood in the Slytherin's way.
"Move aside, Mudblood. I'll take no blame from Snape for what I do to you if you don't know your place."
Lily's eyes were rigid with hatred as she couldn't help but speak proudly of her friend. "You know, it's funny you say you're here on his behalf. I'm so glad Severus wants nothing more to do with you lot. You're all just a bunch of miserable Death Eaters waiting to happen!"
Avery's high-pitched voice sounded in response to Lily's. "See! I told you both Snape had gone rogue!"
Rosier's eyes showed a hint of madness at the realization. "Then I suppose I should use you as an example to teach the filthy little half-blood what happens when you bite the hand that feeds you!"
Lily cast a shield charm, expecting to be hit by a frontal attack, but like James, Rosier's talent for improvising got the better of her as he instead cast a tripping jinx at her feet.
Looking up at Rosier's wand, Lily glared with unyielding fury into her attacker's eyes, prepared for whatever spell he planned to hit her with. All but one.
"Crucio!"
Lily's strength immediately faded as she was enveloped by indescribable, constant pain throughout her body. Her cries were all she could hear, the heart-stopping shrieking all that she could focus on to keep her mind from breaking underneath the torture.
"Get the bloody hell off of her! Confringo!" Sirius shouted as he blasted the ground between all three attackers as they dove for safety, releasing Lily from her torment.
Avery's eyes widened with terror as he gazed up the hill, seeing a single figure sprinting towards them. "It's Snape!"
Severus saw nothing but red as he came upon the scene of Evan Rosier using the Torture Curse on Lily. The rage had boiled over once he heard her screams of agony. It did no good when he saw Sirius Black stop the spell and knock down the Slytherin Trio. He had made an attempt to stop the floodgates from being overrun by his emotions with his Occlumency, but it was no use. He knew, in that moment, that Alastor Moody would not get the pleasure of killing Rosier in this lifetime.
Avery attempted to stop him with an Impediment Jinx, but Severus twisted his wand back and cast a Stickfast Hex to his feet, causing the weaker Slytherin to lose his balance and fall forward on his face. Yet Severus' eyes remained locked to Rosier.
"Flipendo!" Mulciber hastily attempted to cast a knockback jinx, yet the spell was blocked with a shield charm. The closeness to which the attack met the shield caused the spell to backfire with a burst of force, sending Mulciber violently to the ground on the back of his head.
Rosier looked amused at the display as he stood between Sirius and Severus; James slowly emerged from the water with violent coughs as he made his way towards Lupin to check on his wounds.
"My my, have I struck a nerve? I wonder how mad you'll get if you see your precious little Mudblood die before your very eyes, Snape!" Rosier cast a blasting curse directly at Severus, but the young wizard countered with a mighty swing of his wand, summoning another shield charm and causing a deafening boom followed by a cloud of smoke.
Amidst the shroud, a single flash of light caught Rosier off-guard as he was sent airborne, suspended by his ankle. Severus emerged from the smoke, absolute hatred spread across his features as he held the captive Rosier over the lake. Feeling the trembling of his mind under onslaught from the swell of his emotions, it was all he could do to keep from breaking his promise to Lily, cut Rosier to ribbons and paint the lake red with his blood.
He knew for a fact that Rosier was not a Slytherin to make empty threats, and if he threatened Lily, Severus knew he'd have the vile boy's entire family, including Bellatrix, involved.
Severus had that deathly glare in his eyes as he non-verbally cast Liberacorpus, sending Rosier plunging into the shallow water's edge. But not before he cast an Incarcerous Spell, conjuring thick ropes which bound Rosier and his limbs tightly together before a splash of water permeated the silence.
None of the Marauders dared move to stop Severus as he held kept the ropes tightly with the spell, the bubbles of air becoming more frantic as Rosier started to drown under the water.
Lily's eyes opened, still squinting from the pain of the Torture Curse before seeing the horror that Severus was about to commit. The squinting immediately ceased as she shouted in her friend's direction. "Sev! NO! You'll kill him!"
Hearing the voice of his beloved, knowing that she was safe, did little to calm the rage burning throughout Severus as he furiously held his wand in Rosier's direction, his knuckles white from the pressure in his grip. She was safe for now, but he would take no risks in letting her be hurt again.
Lily shuffled her feet towards Severus, urgently limping in spite of the pain and wrapping her arms around his back. "Sev, you're not a murderer! Let him go! SEVERUS! PLEASE!"
"Severus...please…"
The words triggered a terrible memory, Severus' grip on his wand wavered as his stomach lurched forward. He could feel it. The wounds on his soul. The memories those words forced into the front of his mind. He could see it: the death of Dumbledore, his own soul cracking and splintering as he cast the Unforgivable Killing Curse. The cold face of the old wizard as Severus felt the long life ended by his own hand.
"Severus...please...please…"
Dumbledore's face shifted to the frightened, tearful visage of Charity Burbage, who unlike the Headmaster, had not accepted death. Charity had been murdered by Voldemort while Severus, her colleague and acquaintance, had been forced to watch with disinterest as she was hideously devoured by Nagini.
Those words, shouted now by Lily as her hands reached for his outstretched arm, were all his mind could take as he barely managed to lock it all away again and shut himself behind his Occlumency. The spell immediately ceased as Rosier emerged from the lake, coughing up large amounts of water as he weakly crawled towards the shore.
Lily tried to reach her weak, tired arms around her best friend's body, but Severus snapped forward, the remnants of his traumatic relapse still fresh in his mind as he feebly marched toward the castle. He had to be alone. He NEEDED to be alone.
There was no denying it now, as he stepped forward, locked so tightly in his mental armor that he couldn't even hear Lily's pleas to stay. That brief period with his Occlumency down had resulted in a frenzied series of powerful spells, as potent as he had cast in his adult life, but with none of the safety and protection that his mental shields had provided.
He stumbled in a daze, barely able to keep the shields up as the memories remained. "I need to be alone...I need to be alone…" The thoughts repeated in his head like a mantra, determined to blind himself to all the death he had just flashed back to in that moment.
Author's Note: Well this chapter was certainly a bit heavier than I was expecting to write this early on. There were a number of things that I needed to cover, and there was never really an option breaking it apart into multiple chapters since it all occurs at the lake. First thing on my mind was that I wanted to focus a bit on the sweeter side of James Potter and show a bit of the attraction we all know Lily has for him. Even though I have admitted that I am not a fan of the character, he deserved a bit of justice before we head off to a Potter-free Summer for Severus and Lily.
I also wanted to elaborate more on what caused Severus and Lily's original fallout, and so I wrote the backstory behind the incident that occurred between Mulciber and Mary Macdonald. Like Lily's Boggart, it's all original. I had to figure out what might be considered a harmless prank in the point of view of a teenage Severus, yet was still very morally wrong enough to warrant Lily's hostility over it. Mary will become a bit more fleshed out in character as the Fanfiction goes on, along with Alice and her big-sister relationship with Lily.
The last thing I knew I wanted in this scene was the moment where it's obvious to both Severus and the readers what's causing his magical block. Yes, for those who have speculated, Severus' natural distance from his emotions is the cause of his inability to cast. He goes on a long tirade to Harry in OotP, talking down on people who live with their heart on their sleeve, but he's now found himself in a position where if he wants to cast external spells, he has to learn to let go. Naturally with all of the horrors that Severus has lived through, this is going to result in a very serious case of PTSD.
I said from the start that I didn't want some all-powerful Severus at the outset of the story; Sev is going to have to learn a great deal of fighting through all of that pain rather than hide away from it. None of this inverse relation of Occlumency to magical potency is explained why at the moment, but there will be one in a later chapter regarding the rune, I promise you.
As always, thanks so much for reading and let me know what you thought of the chapter by reviewing! It always helps seeing the feedback of my readers and what they think/would like to see.