I don't think I can.
Authors note- Hey, sorry for the slow update but I have a ton of assignments due,thank you for sticking with me and reading, here is a part based off a brilliant suggestion but itcontains description of torture, I hope I did it justice. Missy is telling the Doctor what she went through. I'm not sure about this but thank you for reading. Xxx
After my shower I stood in front of the bathroom mirror in my matching purple underwear and began brushing my teeth. After 2 minutes and 42 seconds, I spat and rinsed then moved on to drag my brush through my long dark wet hair, which was not doing what I wanted. "Here come the drums, here come the drums, baby, baby, baby, you are my voodoo child, my voodoo child "I sang to myself, doing a little jig. Oh God why does it take so long? I might just cut it all off.
"Missy"
"Aaahhh, what the hell?" I screamed, dropping my brush, turning my back to the wall so the intruder couldn't see it and attempting to cover my torso with my arms. Please tell me he didn't notice. "Doctor, you can't just walk in on me anytime you please, I'm a woman now, it's just plain rude" I nervously joked but he didn't so much as smile. "Get dressed, meet me in the console room" He demanded then turned and walked away, brilliant this is a conversation I do not need to have. I finally finished brushing my hair so I platted it and chucked on the oversized TARDIS blue dressing gown that was hanging on the back of the door.
As I reluctantly walked down the hall to the console room in bare feet and what I assumed to be the Doctor's dressing gown, I felt like I was walking to my death. So I popped into the kitchen, made a cuppa and brought it with me, eventually I made it to the console room, lent on the safety barrier/handrail metal things and began sipping my tea.
After an uncomfortable silence, half a cup of tea and three internal renditions of 'Voodoo child' all while avoiding eye contact with the Doctor, as he lent opposite me on the console looking at me as though I wasn't crazy, which was really scaring me. He ended my procrastination. "Missy, what happened?" Brilliant he wants to play psychologist. "I was singing and brushing my hair, in my bra and pants when you walked in on me." I said as a matter-of-fact tone hoping to take down the tension a few knots. "Missy, what are the scars from, and why haven't they disappeared? Please tell me." He begged in a heart wrenching whisper.
My Doctor, my wonderful caring crazy Doctor looked genuinely distressed. After all these years, he still cares. I swallowed the urge to cry, along with my pride. "After you left Skaro with Clara, I had a very clever idea; I began making a pact with the Daleks. How could they refuse a Time-Lord?" The Doctor looked ashamed, he shouldn't be it was my own fault he left me behind. "They began telling the Universe that they had the greatest weapon, one that exceeded your bespoke psychopath, they were in possession of The Master." I paused to compose my thoughts and stop stray emotions. "You were a prisoner of the Daleks?" The Doctor questioned with raised eyebrows.
"Of a sort but no worse off than you, as you were trapped inside your confession dial at this point that's why you know nothing of it. So the entire universe finds out about my 'alliance' with the Daleks, guess who is included in the entire universe, Doctor." Okay, now for the hard part.
"The Time-Lords" I answered my own question as the Doctor began to look queasy.
"The High Council homed in on the drums once again, using them to track me then teleport me right into the old torture chambers, the exact ones we used to hear horror stories about as kids, only they weren't stories." The Doctor became tense, but didn't say anything as I took a sip of tea to wash down the lump forming in my throat.
"As soon as I materialised six guards took me down to the floor knocking me out in the process. When I woke up I was strapped to some sort of medieval human invention, I don't want to think about what they did to me while I was out." Tears were now freely rolling down my cheeks. "This happened on several occasions and when I wouldn't cough up information I was knocked out and history repeated itself, eventually they tried a new method. If I wasn't on the receiving end I may have admired the High Councils level of psychopathy and torture skills." I forced a dry laugh as I sunk to the floor, my legs no longer able to support me due to their incessant shaking.
The Doctor sat down next to me on the cold hard metal floor, allowing me to lean on him for support, his arm around my back preventing me from falling through the rails, as I'm too short to lean when sat down. He didn't say anything, so I continued. "They began branding me, like an animal." I turned my back to the Doctor and dropped the dressing gown, where the was "traitor" branded in huge Gallifrayan writing, covering my entire back, I felt the Doctor trace it with his fingertips skipping over the lines obstructed by my bra straps. "I don't know what they used to do it but it hurt like hell and never disappeared, unlike most scars that go with regeneration energy." I shuffled round, still sat on the floor, so the Doctor could see my front, he gasped. Earlier in the bathroom, I had shielded the worst form view, now he could see the full artistic skills of my abusers.
I'm sure they tried to dissect me while I was conscious but I always passed out, that ruined their fun, so they settled on long medium depth cuts." There are so many it's hard to see which one goes where but I drew his attention to the one I hate the most the one that curls from around the back of my left shoulder and neck diagonally crossing over my chest, between my breasts, across my stomach down my right side and ends curling around my right hip bone. The Doctor traced the scar, just like he did on my back but this time tears were gradually welling up in his sad old eyes. Now for the worst part. "You remember how my-" I choked back the lump in my throat, my voice lacked its normal power, I sound weak and tired to my own ears. "My Daughter sh- she went missing, they killed her and described wha- what they did in horrific detail, I have never felt so powerless." tears were now streaming down not just my face, but the Doctor's as well. "Eventually I escaped when you broke out of the confession dial and stole a TARDIS, it was enough of a distraction for me to make a break for it and get a TARDIS of my own." I finished.
In through the nose, one, two, three. Out through the mouth, one, two, three. I drew in deep shuddering breaths, trying my best to prevent an attack. The Doctor wrapped me back up in his dressing gown and walked me down to my room, "Thank you" he whispered. As he tucked me into my big purple bed, "Please don't leave" I asked, to hell with dignity. "I don't think I can" he muttered back, climbing underneath the covers and wrapping his arms around me. For the first time in years we both managed to sleep.