Disclaimer: I have no ownership or rights to the characters, concepts, or settings of the Harry Potter universe.
Severus had always been an early morning riser even during his original days at Hogwarts, but it astounded him how empty and quiet his dormitory was. Now that two of his fellow fifth-years had been removed, all that remained was Avery, who was far from a worry with how terrified he was of Severus.
Gathering fresh robes and his school uniform, Severus made his way towards the boys' showers, peeking his head down the corridor to make sure he wasn't in danger of being ambushed. It was a habit he had grown into during his last days as Hogwarts Headmaster; always making sure that he was alone and not in the presence of staff, students, or the Carrows.
As he took his place under the cool stream of water, Severus took a mental note of all the current students that might take issue with his obviously shifting loyalties. It wasn't as if Slytherin House was a full-fledged Death Eater breeding ground, not even during the days of the rise of Voldemort. Though the snobbery was almost unanimously shared by all, quite a few of the students kept to themselves and didn't get too heavily involved with the bigotry and politics that most of the aspiring Death Eaters did. This was especially more common in the case of half-bloods; Severus was a very rare exception in his original lifetime and obviously had no intentions of being so again.
Now that Rosier and Mulciber were out of the picture, there were very few students left in Slytherin to worry about. Wilkes was the most dangerous, but given that he was a seventh-year Prefect who was up to his nose in N.E.W.T.s and would be gone the following year, Severus was confident that he wouldn't have to worry about him. The only one that would be staying for at least another year, besides Avery, was Regulus Black, who was in his fourth year.
Thinking about it, Severus could recall that like himself, Regulus had begun to question his loyalty before he vanished around the same time as Voldemort did. For the moment, however, Regulus was clearly still in the camp of pure-blood Slytherin ideology that was trademark for the "Most Noble and Ancient House of Black". It would be wise to keep his eye on the boy and try to find anything that might shift those loyalties sooner.
As he made his way out of the shower, complete with the shampoo scent of rain that had become habit as of late, Severus once again found himself staring at the mark on his chest. There was no coincidence in the placement of the symbol now that he had a basic idea of why he couldn't cast before.
"Whatever created this mark obviously had no mind for subtlety," he thought with a scoff. But why a lemniscate? What was the significance in an infinity symbol curved upwards to resemble a heart? Besides, of course, the blatant connection of it being over his own heart.
It was a question that would no doubt drive him mad in waiting for Saturday to arrive, and he had a whole week of O.W.L.s to deal with in the meantime. Not that Ordinary Wizarding Level tests would provide Severus any particular challenge, not with years of learning from two of the greatest wizards in history under his belt.
Taking one final look at the mysterious rune, Severus slipped on his shirt followed by his Slytherin robe, before finally making his way to the Great Hall for breakfast.
The Slytherin boy bit into his wheat toast with mild disinterest; he'd been more concerned with the look that Lily was giving him at the moment. The two friends were sitting across from one another at the corner of the Hufflepuff table for one last meeting before their Potions O.W.L. started. A little-known fact about dining in the Great Hall was that there were no truly assigned tables outside of school feasts, but it was rare for students to deviate from that tradition. This particular spot was one where Severus and Lily would eat together if they wanted to be away from Slytherin and Gryffindor ridicule, and thus the Hufflepuff table became a sort of neutral ground.
Severus politely wiped his mouth with a napkin before returning Lily's gaze and broke the silence. "Lily, I know my nose may be unusual, but it's not polite to stare." he joked with his usual deadpan tone and thin smirk,
Lily merely shook her head and slapped Severus' shoulder playfully. "I happen to like your nose, despite what everyone else says. It's hooked like a raven's beak, so it goes well with all that black you insist on wearing." She paused for a moment, letting a smile flood her features. "Quoth the Slytherin…"
"Nevermore." he answered. It had taken another moment of giggling from Lily before she rested her hand on top of his
"I was just trying to think of a way to tell you how proud I am of you, Sev...Yesterday could've gone so dreadfully without you there to help. You fixed so much damage caused by them that it makes me feel guilty."
Severus set down his fork to give Lily his undivided attention before turning his hand upward to grip hers. 'What would you possibly have to feel guilty about, Lily? You were as much a victim yesterday as anyone was."
"Yes, but something's troubling you, Sev, and I can see it clear as day. That time in the room...I wish you'd tell me what's been haunting you so deeply. I've never seen you so shaken up like that before, not even when we were kids-"
"And you're not likely to see it again." Severus interrupted her, his brow furrowing as he noticed the rising interest in Lily's voice. An inquisitive young witch like her would no-doubt be fussing over his change just as much as he'd been fussing over his new rune.
"Why not? So you can go bottling it all up again? It'll just burst out again and again until you stop trying to internalize so much. Everyone needs help sometimes, Sev. Even you. And I WANT to help you, if you'd just let me…"
Severus sighed and shut his eyes, not wanting any accidental Legilimency to erupt in response to her request. "Lily, I promise you I'm working on it. And I'll tell you during Summer, as I said. EVERYTHING. But not here, not now. I have to sort everything out before I'll ever feel comfortable trying to explain it to someone else."
Lily just sighed with defeat at her friend's stonewalling. For years, she found it impossible to argue with her friend due to his stubbornness and lack of flexibility, and it had been the cause for the tension between them. Lately however, his voice had taken on an almost adult tone that signalled that he understood what she was saying, but would not relent due to his own reasons.
"It's better than him not listening to me altogether, I suppose…"
Before their conversation could take a lighter direction to how well they planned to smash the Potions O.W.L., Lily's face brightened when she noticed a figure approaching behind Severus.
"Um, Severus?" came a female voice that the Slytherin boy was far from familiar with. He turned his head to see a blonde, fifth-year Gryffindor that he recognized as Mary Macdonald. "I just, well…I wanted to thank you for what you did yesterday...and to apologize to you." It was clear in Mary's voice that she was out of her element in talking to him; he remembered in his previous life that no words had been directly shared between them.
"I have to admit, I never believed that Lily would convince you to help me. I'm a bit ashamed to admit that I've been arguing against her associating with you for a while now. I'm sorry for that; it wasn't fair to you or Lily. And it's no excuse, but I had written you off from the start because you were a Slytherin, despite Lily's insistence that you had been her friend since before Hogwarts even started. That wasn't right either. I'm sorry, Severus…"
Looking at the girl with a bit of a critical eye, it took all of his discipline not to go on a rant towards her lack of eye contact or her hands in her pockets. That would've been what Professor Snape, Head of Slytherin House, would've done. Still, this was Lily's friend, and while it was obvious that she wasn't comfortable in apologizing, he didn't doubt the sincerity in her words.
"This is your second chance to be a decent human being and change people's perceptions while you still can. You don't have to like it, but at least accept the girl's apology. She's making an effort, so why don't you?"
"Think nothing of it, Mary. I spent a great deal of time sitting on that information when it would've been proper to expose Mulciber immediately. It would be unfair to suggest that I wasn't everything that you accused me of being, but I'm thankful that something helped me wake up." He turned back to Lily, who had a beaming smile on her face. "And obviously I'm not the only one who is thankful."
Lily alternated her glance between her two friends as she cheerfully chimed in. "Far from it, Sev. I think half of Gryffindor would be thankful if they weren't so bloody stubborn that yesterday was because of a Slytherin." She focused her attention on her fellow witch for a moment. "Mary, would you care to join us? Sev and I were just about to go over some last-minute Potions discussion, and I know you might need a bit of help with the Draught of Peace."
Lily once more placed her gaze on Severus, who adjusted his collar uncomfortably. She knew he wasn't much for studying with students less talented than himself, but he needed more friends in his life than just her. Mary's extension of apology might be the opening to help bridge that gap.
"That is, of course, if Sev is willing to share his treasure-trove of secrets that can turn an amatuer into a Potions Master." Her eyes twinkled with that little bit of persuasion that she knew would make his stubbornness relent, and was satisfied when he sighed.
"I suppose we could use a third..."
Both portions of the Potions O.W.L. proved to be absurdly easy for Severus this time around. He wondered if his knowledge of the other classes might have waned, most notably for Astronomy and History; he'd need a few hours of refresher study over the next two days. Potions, however, were second nature to Severus even during his first time taking the O.W.L., and years of drilling the subject into the minds of his students helped immensely in him finishing the tests before half the allotted time even finished.
The question for Severus regarding his grade wasn't whether he'd get an Outstanding, but whether he'd break any of the established records that the Ministry kept track of. After all, none of the improvements that he had made to the Potion-making process had become standard curriculum until his time teaching, and that was merely due to his dislike for teaching from the published material.
All of the standard textbooks contained recipes that hadn't been updated in decades, and it was laughable that Slughorn continued to use such outdated material when he returned to his post during Harry Potter's sixth year. Severus, despite his privacy when creating his spells and potions improvements as a student, taught his students from a chalkboard and shared what he had learned with the new generation, though none of them knew that to be the case.
Severus shook his head with amusement when the idea occurred to him to simply publish his findings in a new edition of Magical Draughts and Potions. Even if the prospect could make him a significant amount of money, he knew Arsenius Jigger would be rolling in his grave if his legendary textbook were replaced by one authored by a student still in Hogwarts.
That thought led to another, more pressing matter that Severus hadn't thought of. What exactly would he be doing with his life this time around, assuming the Death Eater threat were squashed earlier? The notion of teaching again nearly caused him to sick up; that was simply a means to an end in order for Dumbledore to keep tabs on him, and the fact that a former Death Eater was unlikely to be hired anywhere else.
Remembering his original meeting discussing career opportunities with Professor Slughorn, he didn't seem interested in any of the paths that had been suggested at the time, such was his confidence that he'd be a made man once he joined the ranks of Voldemort. Of course, now Severus was quite aware of the contrary, that not only would joining the Dark Lord not advance his place in the world, but also cost him everything that was dear to him.
"I suppose that's something I'll have to think about during the Summer months and follow up with Slughorn when term resumes." he thought briefly before making his way to the Library to study.
Lily and Mary both exited the Potions classroom together following the end of the practical portion of the exam. The redhead turned to her blonde friend with a grin, hoping that Mary would be as confident in her results as she had been. "So, did the study session from breakfast help at all?"
"I certainly hope so. If nothing else, my Draught of Peace turned out the right color for once." Mary laughed, relief obviously in her voice. "Do me a favor and thank Severus later for his tip on the extra porcupine quills; I think that might've been the difference between an A and an E."
Lily raised a curious eyebrow at Mary's request. "Why don't you tell him yourself?"
"Honestly, Lily, that's a silly question. I don't want to impose; he's obviously got little patience for anyone but you." Mary muttered with a slight blush coloring her cheeks. "And I think the two of you could use your time in privacy without a third wheel like me to ruin the moment."
Lily's expression went from curiosity to obvious bewilderment. "Mary, what in Merlin's name are you talking about?"
Mary giggled and stopped walking to face her friend directly. "You were staring at him the whole time we were studying, Lily; it's like I wasn't even there! You always talk to Alice and me about how gorgeous James Potter is, and I agree completely. But even when he's not acting like a complete buffoon, you don't look at James like I saw you look at Severus. And Merlin, that's not even going into the way he looks at you!"
Lily tried to scoff at her friend's remarks, but was interrupted once more.
"Lil', you think I'm joking, but I'm being serious. You keep telling us that you can't wait for James to grow up. I swear, I'm not just saying this because I fancy James too. But have you and Severus ever…?"
"God, Mary, No!" Lily shook her head, her pale, freckled face quickly overrun by a deep shade of red. "Sev is my friend since we were nine...I know he may fancy me, but...he's my friend."
"Yet you're blushing!" Mary was laughing uncontrollably by this point, which only caused Lily to snap her face away from her friend's accusations.
"Damn it, Mary! Even if I were curious, I've only just gotten my best friend back after a long time of our relationship deteriorating! Why on Earth would I put that all at risk again over something fickle like school romance? At least if Potter gets his act together, there's nothing to lose by giving that a try...with Sev, I could lose so much…"
The two girls made their way out of the school's doors and descended towards the lake to meet Alice. After a few moments, Mary turned to Lily again.
"If he's looked at you with such longing and intensity, I think it's safe to say that Severus isn't happy settling for friendship. And if that's all you want, then you have to make that clear to him, or he'll feel like he's being strung along…
"Not that I think that's what you want either, given that hungry look in your eyes from this morning." she laughed, running from Lily as the red-headed witch gave chase before they reached their spot at the lake. Alice hadn't arrived yet, so the two girls made themselves comfortable and looked out towards the vast body of water in front of them. "All joking aside, Lily, have you considered what might happen if it DID work out?"
Lily remained silent, eyes glued to the water as she lost herself in thought to what Mary had suggested.
Author's Note: Admittedly, there was no way to keep up the ever-increasing intensity that's been building for numerous chapters now. This one, and the ones leading up to the Saturday Ancient Runes exam will likely be considerably more uneventful and leisurely. Still, the lull in action makes for a good opportunity to do a bit of character exploration and fleshing them out more internally. Lily, in particular, and her ever-challenged perception of her best friend is what's going to be shown more of.
As always, I appreciate ANY AND ALL FEEDBACK that the story receives. Reviews, in particular, are SO helpful in moving forward chapter by chapter, and the more discussion about the story's direction I get, the more refined it can be moving forward. Thanks again, and I hope you enjoyed the chapter!