Disclaimer: I do not own the characters or concepts of the Harry Potter universe. The words amidst Severus' thoughts at the lake are taken from Metallica's "Unforgiven III". I do not own the lyrics or rights to the song, and no profit was made from this fanfiction.

Lily could do nothing but watch as Severus ran away from her attempt to comfort him. Her arm remained outstretched where she had caressed him momentarily before sinking back down to her side in defeat. The patter of her tears hitting the floor was all that permeated the silence as she lost sight of her best friend down the corridor.

It was obvious to Lily that Severus' scars and bad memories ran deep. Those images of an older Severus seemed to be embedded from the future. Did he have visions of some possible future like the seers she'd heard about in Divination? Why did they jump to her when it was clear that he didn't want her to know until the time was right?

Lily couldn't bring herself to focus on any of that for very long, however. The one thing she kept returning to was that image of the past. That innocent, little boy having his childhood being beaten out of him by a man that she recognized as Severus' boggart from third year: his muggle father, Tobias Snape.

The sight of the little, smiling Severus was everything Lily knew her best friend was not. He seemed like a happy child, hopping around in his imaginary Quidditch games, and above all he was strikingly adorable to her. The thought brought a tear-filled, sad laughter to her when she recalled the boy she had seen, but never met before life had changed him.

The fragile laughter broke once more into a tragic sob when she remembered the day she met him. Even a few years later at age nine, Severus had already transformed into a cautious, timid boy who was far too cynical for his age. But then, how could he not be, with an abusive father and a mother who could not save him? He was so reserved that it was so much harder for him to make friends, a stark contrast to his six-year old self.

Still, Lily could recognize that there were flashes of that little boy that broke free now and then. The day they met, for example. She remembered that joyful smile he had given her, the excitement he showed when he stopped hiding and stepped forward to meet her. It was a permanent fixture in the memory that was so dear to her. The day she met Severus, the day she found out she could do magic, her best friend was so closely interconnected to the magical world because of that day at the park.

Of course, to Severus, the magical world was to be his escape from Spinner's End, freedom from his father. Enter James Potter, the bane of Severus' life at Hogwarts. All those years that she could have done more than just tell James off, maybe she might have helped squash the issue before it became so large to them…

All at once, Lily felt guilty. Guilty that she had ever considered abandoning her best friend. Guilty for not being there and helping as much as Severus needed her to...guilty for being so bloody taken with James. It was too late to make up for the latter situation though; Lily had seen far too many flashes of the young man's energy, humor, and sometimes even generosity to hate him for his immaturity. He had fun at others' expense, which got on her nerves, but he treated his friends with a heart of gold.

Despite that, LIly knew in her heart that she could never think ill of Severus again. Not after he'd been changing, and especially not after what she had seen. Those other images still haunted her, but for the sake of whatever remained of that cute little Sev, she would wait for his explanation.

"I at least owe him that much…" she thought as she took slow, somber steps back towards Gryffindor Tower.

Severus was short of breath as he made his way towards the lone tree overlooking the Great Lake. It had been the spot of many events in this second life, notwithstanding the incident from his first life which still haunted him...even now, a lifetime separating himself from the memory and with Lily back in his life, it was simply everlasting...the effect that Lily's friendship had on him and the lifetime of pain he felt following the way he had hurt her…

How could he know this new dawn's light would change his life forever?

It was all so foolish, buying into the empty, prejudiced ideals of Slytherin House, ideals that were weaponized by a man who had as much muggle blood as he did wizard blood. Even more ridiculous was that Severus himself was a half-blood, yet chose to fall into a crowd for a sense of belonging, believing that he could gain power and status if he followed the lead of Lord Voldemort...

Set sail to sea, but pulled off course by the light of golden treasure.

Severus could still see the shock on Lily's face when he called her that wretched word on that day. And his younger self was so foolish that he hadn't seen that it was merely the straw that broke the camel's back after over a year of straying away from her. There was no apologizing for calling her a Mudblood when he hadn't even been smart enough to apologize for everything that came before it.

Was he the one causing pain with his careless dreaming?

He deserved the hatred he received from her then...just as much as he felt he deserved it now for having been stupid enough to snap at this precious girl as if he were his own father. Even in this second life, with all that he knew, he was still making the same, stupid mistakes he had made when he was an impetuous teenager. His emotions still got the better of him, even now, as the tears started to fall from his eyes. Occlumency was completely useless to him at this point, and there was no more hiding from the torrential wave of emotion that struck him moment by moment.

Been afraid, always afraid of the things he's feeling.

As he rested his body against the bark and took in the sight of the lake, his mind was elsewhere.

How can I be lost if I've got nowhere to go?

He knew he couldn't hide away in the Room of Requirement this time because deep down, he wanted to be found.

Search for seas of gold, how come it's got so cold?

He hoped to whatever divine being that brought him back that James Potter would find him and punish him the way Tobias deserved to be punished.

How can I be lost? In remembrance, I relive.

He doubted, if such a thing happened, that he'd even struggle. Severus felt nothing but emptiness; it was foolish for him to think even for a moment that he'd be worthy of Lily in this life any more than his last life. All the pain that he had gone through during the time after she died was his punishment, not his redemption…

And how can I blame you, when it's me I can't forgive?

Mary set her feet into the water of the lake with a sigh of relief as she joined Alice. "That's one class I'm glad to be done with…" The blonde witch spoke to her friend with only a hint of amusement.

Alice laughed a bit at Mary's obvious strife. "Magical Creatures don't sit well with you, I take it?"

The Muggleborn girl only shook her head before laying it back into the grass to gaze into the clouds. "It's so high-maintenance. Before I found out I was a witch, I always wanted to be an animal vet. Simple things like dogs and cats, I love both of them more than anything...but Merlin help me, I lost count of how many times I could have lost a limb in that class!"

"You given any extra thought as to what you might go for, career-wise?"

"Well, Professor McGonagall discussed it with me before O.W.L.s started and we tentatively decided on Healing at St. Mungo's. Lily and I wanted to go do that together. If that didn't work out, I've thought about catching up on my muggle schooling and getting that veterinary license after all. I thought that might be my only option, but my Potions O.W.L. might be good enough thanks to Severus' help yesterday."

"Severus Snape, hm?" Alice raised her eyebrow with a bit of curiosity. "What do you make of him now that you've actually spoken to him?"

"Well…" Mary began, pondering what to say. "He's brilliant, but that goes without saying with how much he and Lily study together. I kind of got the vibe that he didn't want to be around me...oh!" she was interrupted by a rather disgusted sneer by Alice.

"No, no! Not because I'm a Muggleborn or anything bad like that. Just that he's shy. Like having someone around that he wasn't used to make him uncomfortable. He was cordial towards me, doesn't seem prejudiced at all. It just seems like he doesn't like opening up. But Merlin, Alice!" she started giggling, remembering the day before. "You should've seen the way they looked at each other; I swear it was out of a fairytale book or something!"

"Oh? Do tell."

"Well, it's like when we started going over some things on how to brew a good Draught of Peace. Lily was hanging on every word he was speaking while I took notes. She was looking at him with fascination like he was the most interesting boy at school. It wasn't just her either. Every now and then, there'd be a break in his tips and I'd notice this thin, little smile come to his lips as he looked back at her. His eyes...god, Alice, it's like they were shimmering for her!"

"But I always thought Lily fancied James?"

"That's the thing, she does. And I think she has it set in her mind that if he ever stops acting like a fool that she'll take him up on his offer for a date. But she doesn't look at James the way she looks at Severus…"

"Of course she doesn't, Mary! She fancies James while Severus is her friend. Don't you think you're looking too much into it?"

Mary sat back up, shaking her head. "No, Alice. The way she looks at you, me, or Remus, THAT is how she looks at friends. With Severus, she's glowing and she can't hide it nearly as well as she does with James. I'm not even sure if Lily realizes it herself, but something's definitely sprung up with how much she's been talking about his changes."

"Well...speaking of Severus…" Alice drifted off, motioning behind them with a nod of her head.

Mary turned to see the lone Slytherin halfway up the hill, looking rather grim against the tree overlooking the lake. She could only frown at the boy's obvious troubles. "He certainly looks like he's seen better days...Lily told me that she'd be studying with him; I wonder why he's out here alone?" Without another word, Mary stepped out of the water and gathered her shoes, making her way towards Severus.

Alice simply shook her head with a smirk. "Don't you have better things to worry about than playing matchmaker?"

Mary stuck her tongue out at the older Gryffindor with a playful grin and made her way over to the tree. "Severus? Something troubling you?"

Severus raised his eyes to meet the blonde girl's concerned face. Mary's voice had still been new and somewhat unfamiliar to him. "Oh...hello, Mary." He looked back down to the ground between them. "A great deal, but nothing I can really discuss in any detail…"

"Well, no need for details then. Just talk." she said, sitting near the Slytherin boy.

Severus just sighed, too tired and too shaken to tell the girl to mind her own business. Even if he considered the gesture a bit nosey, there was no hostility left in him today. This girl was offering to be an impartial outlet to him, and he didn't have the strength to say no anymore.

"I've done a great many things that I'm not proud of, Mary. Things that I'm not even sure you could fathom back when you still thought the worst of me...My dilemma is that I've agreed to confess it all to Lily over the Summer holidays, and if I'm to be honest...that scares me."

"You're afraid of losing her?" Mary asked, concern growing in her kind, blue eyes.

Severus could only muster a very shaky nod, unable to elaborate with words.

Mary averted her gaze back up to the cloudy sky. "Terrible or not, at least you're wise to your actions now, Severus…" She drifted off, considering whether or not to continue. A few moments passed before she committed herself to what she was about to say. "Let me tell you something about Lily that I doubt even you know. For nearly a year now, she's been crying herself to sleep. Not every night, mind you, but enough for me to notice, even when she tries to hide it."

Severus could only tilt his face downward even further, guilt etched in his face.

"I don't know any of these so-called terrible things that you've done, Severus, and to be honest, I'd really rather not know. I'm grateful for what I do know, and that's that you went to bat for me even if it meant retribution from your own house. I'm grateful that you came to my friends' defense, and that you saved Lily from being tortured by that bastard Rosier. Not only that, but you saved Remus' life! Whatever you've done in the past, it seems like it might've been peer pressure, and I think it's safe to say that you're making amends for them."

Severus shook his head, shutting his eyes to keep any tears from escaping around this girl who he barely knew. "You can't say that, Mary. If you knew half of what I had done before I woke up to reality-"

Mary interrupted with an exasperated breath. "Well, I don't. So all I can do is ask you this question. Are you sorry for what you've done?" She raised her hand to stop Severus from answering, wishing to elaborate. "That's a more loaded question than you might think it is. A lot of times, when people apologize, it's insincere. What they really mean to say is that they're sorry they were caught, not that they feel any remorse for doing the deed and learning from it.

"James, for example. Every time Filch or McGonagall catch him doing something particularly juvenile, he'll apologize with that smug grin that says 'I'll try to be more discreet next time.' Whatever it is that you're guilty of, Severus, I can see it clear as day that you're beating yourself up over it. That only hurts you, hurts your friends, and wastes precious time out of your life. If I can see you suffering and making up for your mistakes, what makes you think Lily won't?"

"Perhaps because she's the one that I've wronged and hurt the most…As sorry as I am and as much as I may regret, I'm not sure it'll be enough." Severus whispered.

"There's no use whining about what might or might not happen, Severus. You've already agreed to tell her, and if I were a betting girl, I'd say with how much Lily's been bragging about her best friend's changes, odds are that she won't react as badly as you fear. What's important to Lily is that you aren't on that path anymore."

"Lily's...bragged about me?" he asked, taken aback by what Mary said.

Mary smiled, rolling her eyes at Severus' almost mundane question. "Almost constantly. Damn near drove me crazy before I saw your new attitude for myself. I don't think you understand how important this last week's been for her. She hasn't cried in her sleep, hasn't seemed as distracted, and I daresay she seems happier. And looking back, I'm glad she never took my advice to give up on you, because I think that would've hurt her a great deal more than whatever it is you're going to tell her."

Severus was astounded by how forward Mary was being with him. Not a few days beforehand, she hated him on the principle that he was a Slytherin, and now she was trying to help him gather his courage to follow through with his inevitable confession to Lily. If nothing else, it might help him finish the rest of the week and make it back to Cokeworth without breaking again. A thin smile finally broke through all the sulking. "Thanks, Mary...you're alright, for a Gryffindor that is." He added with a smirk, extending his hand to his companion.

Mary returned the friendly gesture with one of her own, taking his hand and giving it a friendly shake. "And you're a halfway decent Slytherin, Severus. A week ago, I'd have denied such a thing existed."

As they said their goodbyes and Severus made his way back towards the castle, Mary got to her feet and returned to Alice's side. The elder Gryffindor sat in anticipation. "Well? That seemed to go rather well."

Mary nodded, her smile widening until it stretched ear to ear. "It did. He's a rather interesting boy when he's not sulking, pleasant enough when his mood allows. But Lily and I seemed to be off in our opinion that he fancies her."

Alice smirked triumphantly. "You see? They're just friends, that's no reason to suspect-"

"He doesn't fancy her, Alice." Mary's ever present giggling returned in full-force. "One conversation was all it took to convince me that the poor boy is far worse off; he is in LOVE with her!"

Author's Note: As I mentioned before, the lyrics used during Severus' inner thoughts were from Metallica's Unforgiven III. I do not wish to turn any chapters into a songfic with music lyrics, but that trio of songs, specifically The Unforgiven and Unforgiven III, convey so much of what I interpret Severus' character to be going into my story. I toyed with the idea of integrating the last chapter with The Unforgiven, considering the message of lost innocence and growing bitterness to the world around him was a perfect fit for the scenario I wrote with Tobias' child abuse. I may go back at a later date and actually rework the chapter to include that if I can do so with justice to the song and to the somber tone I was going for.

With regards to Mary, I want her to be a kind of secondary Point-of-View character. I don't plan on going as thoroughly into her thoughts as I do Severus and Lily, but considering that Lily is her best friend in the story and that she's also starting to get to know Severus, I wanted to kind of add a little flavor by including her in the fun. A lot of times in the Severus/Lily fanfiction I've read, she's thrown in as a bit of an antagonist, which I feel is unfair considering we know so little about her; there's rarely ever any positive direction her character takes. Considering that Charity Burbage, the Muggle Studies Professor who is killed at the beginning of Deathly Hallows, still considered Severus a friend despite his betrayal I thought was a bit telling. I wanted to kind of parallel that with Mary in my story, a female friend that Severus can talk to, perhaps as a gateway towards a couple more friends moving forward.

As always, I'm amazed at how well Tempus Vita is being received by the community. Thank you all so much for the Favorites, Follows, and ESPECIALLY the Reviews. Please let me know what you thought of this chapter, including anything about how Sev, Lily, and Mary were portrayed, or what you thought of the musical interlude. I hope to have another ready for you all soon! Take care!