Part 5: Here's To the Future, Hear the Cries of Youth

"Annie, Clarabel...am I a good engine?"

This was a loaded question. A very loaded question. Imagine the biggest gun in the world, with unlimited ammo. That was how loaded this question was. Annie and Clarabel hemmed and hawwed deliberately for quite some time.

"Oh, sure, take your time! That's not worrying at all!"

"Oh, you're a lovely engine!"

"No, Annie, be truthful. Sometimes he can be a bit of a prat. And a fool. And a jerk. And a-"

"WE GET THE POINT!" Thomas shouted.

"Well yes, but he's our prat-fool-jerk!" Clarabel said defensively, "And you can be very useful in a crisis, Thomas! Remember the end of that ridiculous campaign to be mayor!? You stepped up when everyone else was panicking, and you got everyone to safety! And all those events that you've organized like the Christmas parties and how you'll try and help the kids as much as possible-"

"And then there's the time you nearly cost us a trip to London because you wanted to show Oliver that your's was bigger, if you understand."

"Okay, Annie, I've apologized to you a million times for that!" Thomas sighed, and looked thoughtful. "I just...I want to know that I'm doing something right. I want t be a hero, I want people to...I don't know, see me than more than just a tank engine- Don't give me that look." He snorted at Annie's expression. "No, it's just...it feels so long ago, doesn't it? When I started on the branch-line, and I was just so young and carefree, and I didn't care about anything! I kind of miss those days."

"Those were the days of our lives, Thomas."

"Don't quote the Mercury at me, Annie."

...

Edward spent the night lonely, and cold in a siding a way back down along the track. It had been a very, very confusing day. He had tried speaking to the Rainbow Sun again, but no luck was on his side again. The engine just wasn't capable of speech. Or anything, really. The humans had been little better. He had angrily sworn (Or tried to swear, this place made sure that any actual words that might be offensive were changed to somewhat toned down ones. On the plus side, it meant that Edward used some of his more colorful vocabulary) at them for hours, but for whatever reason, no one bar Lily had noticed.

"It's odd, isn't it, Edward?"

"It sure is, BoCo! You know, I feel like I'm right back on Sodor, except at least there, I knew they were ignoring me for no good reason! Here, it's just...bah!" Edward angrily whistled to, pun not intended, let off some steam.

"Okay, think logically about this."

"Logic? Pah! In this series?"

"Focus. Think of this like a Sherlock Holmes problem. Once you eliminate the impossible-"

"Whatever remains, no matter how improbable, and yadayada okay. So, impossible. I've been transported here by some sort of portal. The so-called Magic Railroad. I'm at Shining Time, which is in North America somewhere. There doesn't appear to be an ocean near here, but there is a river. Which means that I'm far, but not extremely so, from any docks."

"And even if you-"

"We."

"-YOU were able to get to the docks, there'd be no way to get onboard a ship that could take you back home, because no one seems to notice you."

"Right. Now, okay, let's think. It's impossible that it's the buffers on this side of the world that triggers...the transportation, or whatever it is, because we've tried that already. Going back to the spot where we first came out of the portal doesn't help either."

"So it's random. The Magic Railroad doesn't have a fixed point anywhere else other than Sodor."

"That's...that sounds about right. But there has to be a reason that we were brought here! It can't have just been random happenstance, or else we'd be...well, in Holland, or Africa or something. Why this particular place?"

"And who was that voice you heard?"

"Oh, I'd assumed you'd had a sex change."

"Are you kidding? My voice would still be as deep as it ever was!"

"Heh."

"...So, you do know that I'm-"

"Not with us anymore?"

"Edward-"

"Gone to the choir invisible?"

"Edward-"

"In that great dieselworks in the sky?"

"Edward! You can say it."

"I have! Several times in fact. I have been sitting here thinking about it for ages! And I have thought of so many things, BoCo! So. Many. Things. I'm going to enjoy hurting Ten, you know. It's going to be fun, and I can't wait to wipe that smug, interfering smirk off of his face-"

"Edward, I'm not here right now."

"Of course not, you have no corporeal form."

"Edward, the more you dance around the actual word for what I am right now, the harder it's going to be for you to move on-"

"Who says I want to move on? Huh? People say that, people say that it's best to let the past go and keep looking forward, but they're all stupid people. Us engines, we can live forever, BoCo...but...you're not living forever. And I am angry and pissed off at that."

"You have a right to be-"

"So, no, we're not talking about this."

"When are we going to be-"

"Shut up, BoCo!" Edward took a deep breath, and looked around. He was on his own. Again. "...BoCo? ...Please come back, I didn't mean it."

Silence.

Edward turned away, looked towards the road, and watched as a man on a black motorcycle moved towards the main road. As hie head once again filled with images of hurting Diesel 10, he began to sing under his breath.

"Cause those were the days of my life..."

...

"Boy! Come back here!"

Patch ran as fast as he could. Boomer had been trying to talk to him, again, but the sudden glare in his eyes made him suddenly afraid. He had steered his horse off the path and into a quiet meadow, before disembarking and hurrying away like Peter Rabbit from a leather wearing Mr McGregor.

At last, when he was quite sure that he had lost the biker, he stopped to catch his breath. He was deep in the woods, where there was very little overall intrusion by man. He was pretty sure that this was where the Stone's farm was situated.

Also, there was a random tire swing left lying around on a tree. Clearly someone had decided that 50's era Shining Time wasn't stereotypical enough yet, so they had put in a goddamn tire swing.

And there, right next to the tree, ripping up grass was...

A girl.

Patch's mind, addled by growing hormones, began to panic. He knew that, hypothetically, girls were real and that said girls also tended to be considered rather nice looking. He knew for instance, that his mother had also once, many moons ago, been a girl. But he hadn't been aware of how pretty girls looked until he saw this one. She was different, and odd, and looked a little out of place, and was all the prettier for it.

"Hey!" He said, aware that his voice was a little higher pitched than it needed to be. He leaned against a tree branch, which promptly snapped, dropping him to the ground. A light laugh from the girl caught his attention, and he scrambled up, furiously brushing away the smudges and marks that landing flat on his ass had given him. "So, reckon you can climb that? Old Faithful?"

The girl looked at the tree, then at him. "Old Faithful?"

"Yes, it's, er, very sacred. We all dance around it to celebrate...things."

She laughed. "You're making that up."

"Yeah, pretty much."

"Hmmm. All right, what do I win?"

"Oh, uh-"

"Do I get a pony?"

"Isn't that a bit stereotypical?"

"You are literally living in a town called 'Shining Time'. I counted at least five instances where I could have sworn the entire town was monochrome like those old fifties shows that my mom used to watch."

"Fair enough. I've got a horse that we can go on, if you want." Patch tried to grin, cockily. It failed. "So, you gonna climb or what?"

One second later, he stared in surprise as she attacked the tree with great precision. She stumbled on up there, gripping the bark as though she had been climbing the tree for years. She finally reached the top branch, leaned back against the bark and gave a cocky little smirk. "So, about that pony?"

Patch laughed. "Okay, okay, you got me."

"Should think so, too! Enforcing gender stereotypes like that!" She slid downwards, landing on the ground feet first. She barely even stumbled as she headed back to Patch. "See?"

"Where'd you learn to do that?"

"On the fire escape! And, you know, on trees. The city's do have them, you know, despite what people claim. We're not all nutjobs who don't understand what the hell soil is."

"...Hi, by the way."

"Hi."

"I'm Patch."

"Lily. So, you live here, then?"

"My mom and dad run the stables. Hence my access to the 'pony' as you call it!"

"Morning, Patch." said Burnett, walking along the pathway. He had spotted Boomer not too long ago, and had attempted to run over to him to get some straight answers from him. But with a single contemptuous glare, he'd revved his bike and was gone before Burnett had even made it halfway to him.

Burnett wondered why it was that, years after Lady had been injured, he was still being kept out of the loop of things.

"Good morning, Mr Stone! I...don't have many jobs today." Patch decided to be bold. "I'm riding into Shining Time today, just to get a couple of errands done, some things finished up...Lily could come on in with me...only if she wants to!"

"Yeah, why not, I'd like to go!"

Burnett's immediate response was to politely refuse. He didn't like the fact that Boomer was so close to them, nor the fact that for whatever reason, strange things had been happening all the time. Even stranger than usual. But looking at both of them there...he couldn't help seeing a little bit of himself and Tasha in them. He sighed, trying not to sound too depressed, and failing. "Sure, have fun. Listen, get back by sunset, the night's here are crazy."

"Parties?"

Burnett gave his brief almost-smile for a second. "Not exactly." He left it there, and turned around with a final wave.

"Do you want to come too?"

He stopped in his tracks as Lily asked this question. He was suddenly filled with...he didn't know what. Images? Ideas? Thoughts flew through his head. What if he did so? It wouldn't hurt-

"No." He found himself saying. "Thanks, but I don't often go there, anymore. It's er...It's just the way things are." And with this cryptic statement, he continued to walk away, back towards the mountain. He just about remembered to return Lily's forlorn goodbye before he found the nearest tree and began banging his head against it. With every bang, he cursed his stupidity.

"So...how good are you at riding a horse? Or, to ask a better question, have you ever ridden a horse before?"

"Nope! But it can't be that hard!" Lily clenched her fist and raised up to the sky. "Bring it on, world!"

...

"Oh thank god, there's a wheatfield through which we can ride through dramatically!"

"Yes, they might as well call it...Cliche Time Station."

Lily stared at the back of Patch's neck for a moment, telling just by the flush of red that he was blushing, and snorted. "Was that the best you could come up with?"

"Yeah, it's been one of those days!"

As they rode along, Patch tried to hide the genuine excitement he felt in having finally met someone who he could talk to. True, he was slightly tongue-tied at the moment, not least because he'd never had so much fun in what felt like years, but-"

"So, where are you taking me?"

"Woah! Easy girl. I've always wanted to go this way. There are a bunch of shadowy lines here that I've seen on this old map I had." Patch pointed to areas where the wheat was either flattened down or gone completely, all in a straight line. "These could be railroad tracks but there's no known record of any line being built here!"

"Oooh, it's a mystery! I've met a talking train, you know."

"Oh really?"

"Yeah, he's actually at Shining Time! You wanna come meet him!?"

Patch shrugged. "Sure. Why not?" He just accepted things as they were at the moment. He was having so much fun that he didn't care if it was logical or not. To hell with it, he thought, and spurred the horse on faster.

...

"Well Lady, what are we to do?"

Burnett shone the lamp once more over the lost engine's body. Dust and cobwebs had already begun to gather once more. Moss, not helped by the wet patches, covered the buffers. Almost mechanically, Burnett reached for the rag and began to dust her down again.

"What is it about childhood, eh? Why did it always seem so simple when me and Tasha were kids...and Petey, of course." He carefully began to wipe down the buffers. "There's something, isn't there, that can make everything seem better in childhood? You look at an old show, US or UK, and you saw all the good things. The voice acting was unique, the models were perfect, the drawings were crafted with love. And now you go back. And you can hear how the company was too badly off to hire more than a core set of actors. You see the strings holding up the clay or the bits of felt. You see where a piece of stock footage had to be used because it was more convenient. And you wonder...where did it all go?"

Lady, of course, didn't respond.

"It was like that with you. It was always summertime, or like an Enid Blyton novel. Mysteries and stories and secrets and lashings of ginger beer for everyone. Where no one died, or was too badly hurt, and the bad guys always got punished. The four of us had such a blast, didn't we? Or was that just another memory? Cause I think Pete always had this edge to him. I don't think it was just Tasha marrying me. That was the tipping point, yeah, but I don't think that's...quite all, is it?"

...

MANY YEARS AGO.

"You know what really pisses me off?"

"Language, Pete."

"Fu-" Pete paused, and swallowed. "To hell with language, Burn, we're in Britain. People back over the pond think they're so cultured and on their high horse, they're bloody hooligans if you ask me! They eff and blind like it's no one's business! No, what screws me up is the feeling that she's not telling us everything!"

"Of course she's not telling us everything. She's how many years old, Pete? As sharp as she is, I don't expect her to remember everything!"

"What about the railroad? Huh? You notice that she never, ever lets us see it. We're being trained by her, and she's keeping something from us."

"Teachers are allowed to have secrets. You remember Ms Wakefield? She turned out to be one of the Les-Bi-Annes! Never would have known it!" Burnett was teasing, of course, trying to get Boomer to snap out of his funk.

"I don't like it. I don't like having secrets kept from me!"

"All right lads!" Carlin headed on in and clasped both men on the shoulder. "Looking forward to the funfair tonight! I am! I'm going to drink until I pass out under the f**king coconut shy!"

...

"Wae aye, lads!"

"Wae...aye?" Henry sighed. "James, why are you talking in Geordie-eese, I thought we were past the random introduction of accents into the series. Besides, I could have sworn you were Liverpudlian."

James huffed. "Last time I try to be culturally sensitive. Bastard. How about another round for the three of us, eh, Perce?"

"Sure, got nothing better to do." Contrary to popular belief, the Sidings did not operate via magic. Rather, there were certain grooves built into the rails that Percy could rll onto and select the beverage of his client's choice. Then, the beverage was poured and passed along like a Wallace and Gromit cartoon to the engine in question. "So, I could have sworn Thomas told you to take care of distracting Diesel 10 and those two...Splatter and Dodge?"

"Yeah, we figured that it wasn't tender engine work!" Gordon puffed up, even more so than usual, as he sipped his beer. "So we got a couple of the outside engines to handle it."

"Oh, you mean the guys who work down by the docks. The ones who basically do all the hard work but we never get the background information on."

"Yeah, like Butch."

"Who?"

"Exactly."

"Now now, be fair, he saved my life, you know!"

"That's true, Percy. But then, firemen saved my life during that really hot summer, and I still can't tell you their names, addresses or anything remotely interesting about them, other than they appeared to be straight out of Tumpton."

"You're right, James. What we really need is one of those fire engines that runs on rails. You know, a really big, annoying American one that won't shut the hell up about how fiery he is."

"Oh, what, like Fiery Flynn?"

"Sounds like a beer to me!"

"I'll drink to that!" Gordon slurred. Percy shook his head, and silently began watering down the beer. Sure, it was illegal and a little dodgy, but they'd thank him when they had somewhat stable livers...or at least, whatever passed for livers in the engine's body. That was another one of those complicated questions that Percy wondered about sometimes, like why it was that engines weren't allowed to have relationships with other engines, or why only tugs seemed to have actual hair.

"I tell you what, though!" Gordon said, enthusiastically. A little too enthusiastically, as it turned out, as he nearly went over on his side. "When I see Diesel 10, I'm going to nut him one! Right in his big fat face!"

"Really? And then what?"

"I'll kill him, of course!" Gordon grinned the grin of someone who really has had too much. Percy quietly stopped pouring beer for him all together. Water it was from here on out. "And I shall do so as Gordon does all things!"

"Poorly?"

"Fastest...and best! I'm the greatest!" He sneered. "Duck thinks he's so frigging good at his job, but if it came down to fighting, he'd choke and fold under the slightest bit of pressure!"

"Oh yeah?" Percy said quietly. "Well, he's still trapped at the smelters. You abandoned him because you couldn't be arsed to stay."

"Oh, don't you start! He lied to you too, you know."

"I am aware of that." Percy said, through clenched teeth. "But the engine's probably in extreme pain at the moment, and we're sitting here trying to drink our problems away!" He paused. "Bar's closed, gents. I'm sodding off."

"To where?"

"Thomas gave me a job to do, and it's high time that I did it. I'm heading over to Kirk Ronan, see if I can't find out what the hell is up with that bloody grotto that only just sprang up."

"Running away, Percy? Gonna find a backing signal again, are you?"

"DON'Y PUSH ME GORDON!"

The sudden shout took everyone off guard. Even Percy. But Gordon recovered quickly. "Oh yeah? Make me then, you bloody goblin! James, let go of me! He's going to mouth off to us, he needs to be-"

"Gordon, you're late for the express. I'll get your coaches for you, we'll head off, get this done with. It'll be like nothing's happened at all." It was a sign of how bad Gordon was drunk that A: Even James thought he was going a bit far and B: James was offering to shunt. As they moved off, James shot Percy a look that was either apologetic or...slightly angry.

"Don't let him get to you."

"It's bad for all of us, you know!" Percy snapped at Henry. As he moved to collect his trucks to dump at Kirk Ronan, he continued talking to the big green engine, who was still nursing a big cold. "Why does he get to act like he's the only bloody asshole struggling with things!?"

"Because he's Gordon."

"...And that's all you're going to give me? Fine." Percy headed off in a foul mood, leaving Henry to wonder if he should have really thought more about his choice in friends. After a moment, he decided to head on back to the Smelters. Perhaps if he could confirm what was happening there, he'd be doing something useful.

...

"Hi, Edward!"

Edward glanced, and then put on his best happy face. "Lily! Good to see you. Did you get home all right?"

"Yeah! Thanks, uh, this is Patch."

Patch looked at Edward, somewhat shocked. He wondered if there had been something in the vending machine he and Lily had gotten food from. He would not put it past them. "Uhhhhhhhh, hello?"

"Hello...Patch." Edward grinned. "Is it the face? It's the face, isn't it? I've always been told that I need plastic surgery. Do you need to lie down?"

"That might be a good idea."

Patch sat down. "So, Lily...I might head off for a bit, get some things done. So, meet you back here at sunset, right?"

"Right! I'm just going to call my parents!"

"For the record, Lily, I'd say that the station is empty, for the most part. No one's entered since this morning, I'd say it's their day off or something." Lily shot a grateful look towards Edward before she headed indoors. The blue engine slyly glanced at Patch. "Sooooooo...you and her?"

"What?" Patch frowned. Then he understood. "WHAT? No! Pfft! As if she'd go for- Besides, she lives far away!"

"Oh my gosh, you absolutely have a crush on her! Look at that blush!"

"Sssssh!"

"Oh great balls of fire, I've seen it before. First comes love, then comes marriage...and then something something something else that I can't remember off the top of me head-"

"How about we talk abut something else? Something not related to my love life? How about we talk about how you fuel yourself up?"

"I get coal in me fire. And if I need to eat anything, there's a part of my throat that makes sure it doesn't clog up my tubes. Same goes for drink, except that one's a bit easier. It gets taken to my tank, straight away, pretty much."

"Huh. Never knew that trains have a biology."

"Well of course we do. It's just an odd one...hey, are you the kid who worked on that sign back there? It's a lovely piece of work, isn't it?"

...

Lily made her call, and then looked outside the stained glass window. Edward was talking to himself, Patch having long gone, and she was all alone. Absently-mindedly, she ran her hand along the sill.

And then, she heard a really annoying noise. The dog besides her barked loudly, and she shot him a glare for the entire events of yesterday. But, as if by magic (Which of course, it was), there was a bright flash of dust and Junior arrived, singing...something.

"Choo choo choo-"

"You f**king choo choo any more, pal, and you'll be shitting teeth for a week!"

"So, like, obscene! Calm ye tits, Rufus, we'll be fine! Oh, hi Lily!"

"Hi, Junior." Lily still didn't see anything weird about conversing with two men who were about the same size of her hand, and quite frankly if you found anything wrong with that, that was on you.

"Hey presto! I'd given up on seeing you again!"

"It's been a DAY!" Carlin snapped. "Why the hell do we need a skateboard for!"

"A long day! Ye can't be dissin the skateboard, Shaggy-O! Lily, what's blue, green, red and goes Beep Beep?"

"A...parrot? Don't you mean "Chirp chirp?""

"Miss, he doesn't mean anything. He's a prat, through and through. And if was a joke, it was a bloody stupid one, if you ask me."

"Nah! It's trains! Talking trains!"

"Junior, trains don't go beep. They go peep. Also, they're not red, green and blue all at the same time, you nonce. We're not dealing with Jacob and his Technicolor Dreamcoat here!" Carlin looked as though he was about to ruin Junior's already bad joke even more when Junior cut in.

"And we are off to see them right now on the Island of Sodor!"

"Why are you telling her this, Junior?"

"Yeah, see, we-"

"You-"

"I, then, overslept! Had a banging dream though! Totally righteous! Got to get our skates on, ye want to come?"

"WHAT?!" shouted Carlin.

"Can we be back here by sunset?"

"No, wait, sorry Miss, but this is-"

"Well, I hope so!" This was not encouraging, so Junior added quickly. "I want to get back to the beach as fast as my wee legs can carry me! "

"What do you think, Mutt?"

"IS NO ONE LISTENING TO ME?!" ranted Carlin, as Mutt barked an agreement. Lily shrugged. She had no idea what else she was going to be doing for the next few hours while Patch was 'busy' doing his errands.

"Great! It's this way!" Junior pointed to the tunnel on the mural besides him. "It's the short cut!" He slapped it. "AAAAAA-Haaaaaa, the old thing still works!" He ignored Carlin's expression of distaste. "Well, there's three of us, so we'll have to-" And here he began dividing his share of the gold dust up. Carlin stared, flabbergasted, as he watched the last bit of dust drying up. "Ah, who cares if I use cuz's extra supply!? We'll have plenty more soon!"

"I CARE! And didn't anyone tell you that going with strangers was a very bad choice, Lily?!"

"Sure, but these strangers were at least as tall as me."

"You watch your mouth! The two of you are going nowhere!" Carlin stormed out of the station to get some air and to think things through. He pulled out a cell phone the size of a brick and tapped a number into it. "Starr? You get this message, you get the hell over to Shining Time, on the double. We've got some weird shit going down here!"

"Ignore him, he's just cranky! Oh what are you doing with that?"

Lily looked at the dust on her hand. "I know it just looks like glitter, but can I take this back for my grandpa?"

"Be my guest, dear girl! I'll just take care of it for ye!" Junior poured it into his pocket and shrugged. "Ready? Here goes!"

Carlin turned around. "Oh NO YOU-" But it was too late. Both Lily and Junior vanished in a cloud of sparkles and the vague sound of a novelty whistle being blown. "Son of a bastard!" He prayed that his sister never found out that he called her a bastard. He ran outside, spotted Edward and grabbed hold of him.

"Carlin, you've shrunk in the wash!"

"Oh piss off!" He snapped, and blew his own whistle. A terrified Edward started screaming as Carlin dragged him along for the ride.

...

What happened next was...odd.

There was a line beneath her feet. She wasn't touching it, whatever the hell Junior had given her was levitating her off the ground. But beneath that, beneath all the roots, there just seemed to be nothing. Nothing at all. The roots themselves were attached to tall trees that stretched over her head like a massive canopy. The strange glowing lights were equally as weird, and through them, she saw...things.

"What are these!?"

"Other universes!" she heard Carlin call back. "Things that might have been!"

In one universe, Carlin saw a younger Edward moving along the line with coaches behind him, pushing Gordon up the hill, watching as he bravely struggled on (Battered, weary but unbeaten), and as Thomas the Tank Engine rushed through a tunnel, his smile filled with the joy of youth. All of which seemed to be in a strange...drawing like quality. It was like he was looking at still images, but still images that were somehow moving at the same time! It was a total conumdrum.

In another one, he saw a group of female engines. Except these weren't just any old engines. Words appeared in his mind to see each one of his genderbent friends. Talia, Elsie, Helen, Georgina, Jane, Penny, Taffy. The engines were all bickering much like in his universe, as a female Lady Topham Hatt marched in to give them their orders and to put down their beers. Weird.

There was another one too, this one where he could hear snatches of conversation from humans. He could have sworn he saw Edward and Gordon smoking, with actual hands, and Henry and James arguing over paying a tab. Thomas arrived, in school uniform, and angrily groused about how Headmaster Topham was such a pain in the arse-

Another one, with them interacting with...pastoral ponies. And another, with them strange and terrible hybrid abominations, the result of a grief-stricken father's attempt to save his son's life. Yet another one, this time in an almost apocolyptic wasteland, where Toby grimly marched forward to confront a giant diesel with a massive claw. The Warship, he realized in horror, remembering the Battle of Crovan's Gate. It looked exactly like that, except with a face and a terrible grin etched upon grey skin.

So many universes. He saw the beginning and the end of all.

He looked away, trying not to let it destroy his mind, and focused more on Edward screaming at a incredibly high pitch as they raced along.

"You've grown bigger!"

"Or maybe yer're smaller!"

"Oh piss off, Junior! You're beginning to really grind my gears now! You've finally worked out how to adjust your size, have you? Good, great, just terrific! Why'd you bring an innocent along?"

"Eh. For kicks."

"You are getting PUNCHED when we get out of here!"

"Hey, ye cannae do that! I am still adjusting properly to my new-"

There was a loud THWACK as Carlin caught up with Junior and dealt him a blow across the ear.

"OW! OKAY! Whoa! Bit bouncy, isn't it?" Junior and Lily laughed. Carlin groaned. Edward kept on screaming.

"Where are we?!"

"The Conductor's railroad. Basically it's the way that we teleport from place to place. It's full of really stupid logic, best not to question it." Carlin advised.

"We're travelling miles and miles to get to the Island-"

"It's not in another universe, that's for sure!"

"-but to be honest, I doubt this is gonna last much longer! I mean, look at the state of it! It's well smack!"

"What are you even on about at this point, Junior?"

"A good question, Lily."

"Most likely it'll vanish like the engine that travelled on this railroad! Like the lost engine!" At Lily's questioning glance, Junior muttered. "Me and cuz never got to see it! But he did, apparently?"

"Huh...weird."

"Yeah, I really must look up what happened to Burnett Stone after we get back."

"Oh you knew my-"

"THE HELL IS THAT DOING THERE?!" Junior pointed to a single coal truck, who was currently questioning many of it's life choices and was regretting, oh, everything. That just about summed up his day.

"Oh god, here we come!"

"Ready yersefl! Buffers coming up! AAAAAAAAAAAARGH!" screamed Junior.

"AAAAAAAAAAAARGH!" screamed Carlin.

"-AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-" screamed Edward.

"WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" screamed Lily.

The buffers got closer and closer and closer...

...

And out they popped. Well, Edward didn't exactly pop out. Veered might be a better word. He landed on the rails with an incredibly undignified scream. He spent the next minute or so screaming, just to get it all out of his system.

"Are you done?"

"Almost. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRGHHHHHHHHHH! ...Okay. Okay, we're good. I think." He turned back to see Lily and Junior stagger to their feet. "That boy's trouble, if you ask me."

"You recognize him?"

"Hmmm. Came here about 96, if I recall. Yeah, Sodorstock was a one off thanks to him. Pretty sure that Elsbridge is still recovering from the massive fire that started up by some mysterious Scotsman using stereotypical slang and the largest known hookah to exist."

"Ah, that sounds like him. Also, Sodorstock?"

"Oh yeah, you weren't there. Brings me on to my next point, actually. Where have you been!? Percy's missed you a ton, it would have been nice to get some letters from you!"

"Trust me, if I had had a choice, I would have called him straight away." Carlin explained briefly what had happened, but skipped over a lot of it. There was a bit of filler there. "And to top it all off, I still have a real pain in my side from my sister's side." He glared at Junior.

"If you don't mind, I'd like to see how badly the Island's been screwed up in my absence. You can take care of Lily and...Ewan McGregor's really, really, really bad stunt double, can't you?"

"Suppose I f**king have to!" Carlin paused. "Edward?"

"Hmm?"

"...It's great to see you again."

"No insult there...you really have changed, haven't you?" Edward gave a genuine smirk, and rolled off, laughing to himself. Carlin shook his head, trying himself not to crack a smile, before turning back to Junior and Lily.

"Where are we?"

"The Island of Sodor, of course-"

"Put the f**king compass down, Boy Scout, we've got a hell of a walk ahead of us." Carlin grabbed Junior by the lapels. "And you and me are going to have a talk."

"But I already know where babbies come from-"

One smack later, Carlin proceeded to tell Junior in no uncertain terms that he was, would be and always had been the single most stupid and selfish person he'd had to meet. Considering he knew James and Gordon, this was pretty big stuff. Eventually, he gave up when he realized that none of this was really sinking in and settled for kicking him in the shins.

They climbed the large embankment as best they could, Junior whimpering all the way and sneezing all the way. "I'm allergic to grass, man!" He said to Lily and Carlin's looks of confusion.

"Oh. Oh of f**King course you are. Why is my family full of idiots?!"

"Good thing I like climbing things!"

"Good thing we've got a way back to the station! Mind, I don't know if I can convince Edward to go back through that...whatever it was, again!" Carlin stormed up the hill, he had had worse to deal with. He overlooked the railway and a grin spread over his face. "HOME!"

"What's that sound?"

"I'll give you three hints, and the first two don't count!"

"Yeah, they're trains! They talk. We're just too far away to hear what they're saying!"

"EXPRESS COMING THROUGH!"

Carlin beamed. Somehow, hearing Gordon say his ridiculous catch-phrase made his heart do a loop-de-loop. He watched as the engines all hurried about doing their jobs. Bertie stopped for a moment, noticed Carlin and bellowed "MY MAIN MAN'S BACK!" and headed off in a rush to tell everyone. Carlin laughed, and then with a whooop, ran off towards Thomas.

"Annie, Clarabel, look! It's the dozy prat himself! We've found him!" The two coaches twittered away, but their enthusiasm was quickly curbed as they drew near. "Oh screw my bunker, it's that drugged up Scotsman!"

"Junior, look!"

"Yeah!" admitted Carlin. "I would have said much the same thing when I met you, Junior."

"Thomas! Hiya! Remember me, ye daft brush? Now, I know ye haven't seen me since-"

"Go straight to hell, Junior!" Thomas responded. "You stuffed party popers all down my funnel, mugged my fireman for drug money and then proceeded to burn down what remains of Knapford Harbor. Again! Do you realize how many times Knapford Harbor's been disgraced like that!?"

"It's a crap day to be me, apparently. Hey, we had a laugh!"

"You did. I cried for the sake of humanity." Thomas turned to see who else was with him and broke out into a genuine smile. "CARLIN! You old bastard, the hell did you spring up from?"

"Would you believe that I had tea with Mr f**king Benn of all people?!"

"Ah, you were off your balls in a pub. I should have guessed."

"Smartarse!" Carlin affectionately punched Thomas on the buffers, and regretted it almost instantly.

"AHEM!" Junior was not one who liked the spotlight being taken off him. "Allow me to introduce you!"

"You're talking to each other like this is normal!" Lily said, still somewhat dazed. Sure, one engine could be written away by an overactive imgination, but a whole Island of them?

"First prize! Lily, Thomas, Thomas, Lily! Now, how about we talk about how I'm the-"

"Hello there!" Lily said, deciding to embrace the madness.

"Hello Lily, welcome to hell. I mean Sodor. Slip of the tongue!" Thomas smiled a bit kinder though. "So, how are you getting along with the Chuckle Brothers over there."

Lily looked at Carlin and Junior, both of whom were arguing furiously about who was going to take the blame when it came to returning her home. "Uh...Ask me tomorrow. If I'm still here tomorrow."

"Ah, you might as well be a Sudrian! That's the standard response to two idiots arguing!" Thomas raised his voice. "Come on, you want to get to see Mr Flipping Conductor! Well so do I!"

"I'm very at home on trains!" Junior bragged. He took the controls...and was promptly elbowed into the back seat by Carlin. "Oi, wotcha!"

"I have actually driven trains for a living, you daft haggis eating bastard! Now, watch and learn kids. This is how a grown-up handles things!" Carlin started Thomas off. He paused, and then stopped again so that Lily could get on. "i'm just a little rusty!" He said, defensively.

"Annie, Clarabel, I'll get Percy to bring you back!"

"You what-?"

And with that, Thomas just flat out abandoned the two coaches there.

"Ohhhhh dear." Clarabel sighed.

"IN RESPONSE TO YOUR PREVIOUS QUESTION, YOU PRAT, YOU'RE A BLOODY AWFUL ENGINE!" shouted Annie.

...

The situation was tense. It was like a Western, if the Westerns had two very drunk Scotsmen and a tow truck taking on two very exaggerated cockney blokes and whatever the hell George was.

So, nothing like a Western then, really.

"So-" said Douglas, carefully "-how do ye want to do this-?"

Arry moved like lightning. Silently, he sped forward and rammed into Donald's tender, sending him stumbling forwards. Bert too moved forward, taking advantage of Douglas's concern for his twin to couple on up to the Number 10 and dragged him into the Smelters.

Seeing this, Butch raced forward, whirling his hook like a tomahawk. He flung it forward, and much to his surprise, it connected.

"BUTCH!"

"Sorry, Donald!"

Now, if only he could get it to connect with the right engine. George moved forward. True, he was moving at a glacial pace, but so close to Butch, he didn't really need to speed up that much. He slammed into the truck with as much power as he could. Stumbling backwards, Butch glared at the chortling steamroller. "NOT TODAY, GEORGE!" He cried, channeling Mighty Mouse, his hero, and swung his hook towards George's face.

This time it connected properly. With a scream, blood spurted out from the cut that had been gouged into George's face. But now he had managed to piss off the steamroller in a way no one else had done. George reared backwards onto his rear wheels and brought the full weight of his roller down on Butch.

There was a crumpling sound as the truck's back buckled under the pressure of the mighty roller. Butch shrieked, panicked, and did the only thing he could think of. He revved his engine and roared forward. George was taken by surprise, and nearly went over on his side. Though he righted himself, it gave Butch just enough time to get out of the way, his back in extreme pain.

George growled. "You really are a bad excuse for a road vehicle, aren't you?"

"Why are you working for this COWARDLY COWARD ORGANIZATION OF COWARDS!?" Butch shouted, not wanting to let go of the fact that he finally had a character trait at last.

"Oh, if you really have to ask...I get the joy of getting to tear down the railway on this Island for all the road vehicles of the world! And I get a roller rink all to myself!" He cackled. "Those who will not accept me as their new ruler of the roads will be FLATTENED under my roller!"

"YOU FIEND!"

"And I've got a little help from my friends!" From out of nowhere, the three Horrid Lorries arrived in style, revving their engines at the hapless truck. "You're all on your own, Butch!"

He was. Donald and Arry's battle had taken them towards the opening to the Smelters, while Douglas and Bert were still deep inside it. Butch growled. He wasn't going to go down without one hell of a fight. His tires spun, sparks flew from his engine and-

"BRUM BRUM!"

"What was-" Lorry 2 was interrupted by a flying red bus. Bertie grinned manically, and then began spinning around, smacking into them over and over and over again, the Guy Fawkes dummy in his cab bouncing up and down like a lone pea in a frying pan.

"He's not alone! Now lads, either you want a race, or you'll want to GET out of here!"

Confronted by this, they had no choice but to retreat. This was not going to be the last time they ran into each other, though Butch, as the four of them backed off. He looked to Bertie. "Thank you, chum! Now, hurry, we have to get Montague down from there!"

"You got it, boss!"

Meanwhile, Douglas was confused. The red light of the Smelters made it almost impossible for him to see clearly where Bert had gone to...or where he could come from. To make matters worse, the strange sounds that were being made around him meant that even the telltale sound of his growling would be called into question.

"Ye coward!"

There. Was that a growl? It sounded a lot like it.

"Ye-ye heard me right! Ye're nae but a coward! Ye cannae fight any real engine, can ye? Ye just wait until they're trapped, with no way out or put into veritable shackles before ye can enjoy yer grisly little games! Ye and yer stupid brother are called the Grim Reapers! That's a mistake right there! The Grim Reaper actually has the balls to deal with someone face to face!"

There was a roar, and then from a siding, Bert came racing out, his eyes blazing. Douglas charged forward, going as fast as he could in the confined space. They hit each other at the same time, and it was only by a miracle that the two of them didn't get knocked off the rails. As it were, Douglas tried to ignore the feeling of his buffers buckling under the weight behind this surprisingly heavy little shunter.

"Ha! We ran away from ye?! Pah! Ye dinnae say that it was ye who killed all those engines? Ye're not subtle enough!"

Douglas's strategy was working. Bert's roar turned into a scream of pure rage, and he shoved all he had into pushing the Scottish Twin back, even a little. He put more, and more, and more into it...and then there was a loud bang, and black smoke began to pour from him. Bert gasped for air, as his engine spluttered and crawled to a stop.

"Ha! Yer're not the brightest haggis in the castle, are ye? That's the problem with Donald too, mind! Give him a safe, and he'll always try and hit it with a sledgehammer! But it's far easier when you know the combination!" Douglas switched onto the other track, leaving Bert to scream impotently as he raced outside. He watched gleefully as Donald began taking Arry to town. Blow after blow from Donald's buffers hit Arry's exposed side.

But Arry was...laughing? "Oh, thank god you two got here! I thought that everything was going to be boring...but now, you've given me exactly what I needed."

Donald frowned. Douglas stared. Butch and Bertie froze.

"Captain Zero? Can you hear me in there?"

"Course I can! By Lillie's Starboard, ye nearly caused me to lose my lunch!"

"Radio the Fat Director. It's time to start the invasion proper!"

"NO!" shouted Donald, and he charged at Arry. But the diesel had been faking his previous struggles, and with a "Wham!" and a "Bam!" and a couresty "SHUT THE HELL UP MAM!" he rammed into Donald's side.

And then the cavalry arrived. Edward, flanked by Mavis, Bill and Ben, stormed in. By this point, Bert had been lifted back onto the rails by one of the Pinchers, and both he and Arry rushed off, the latter of whom was triumphantly gloating.

"Lads!" Douglas beamed at Edward. "Ye're back then!"

"And better than ever! Right, here's the thing. You lot, get Montague back to the Works, he's going to need one hell of a clean-up before the big fight. Get yourselves checked over too, and that's an order!"

"Where are ye going?"

"The four of us have a date at the China Clay Pits. I think I've found a way to even the odds against Diesel 10! Douglas, once you're finished, I'll need you to do me a favor.!"

"Which is?"

"You'll need to find the Spiteful Brakevan, and tell him it's high time we worked together on this!"

...

As they traveled along the branch-line, Lily watched as Junior began whimpering again, clutching his stomach and leaning out of Thomas's cab. She heard Carlin mutter under his breath "Very at home with trains! Pah!"

Then they saw a bright flash in the distance. "Who is that?"

"Cuz!" shouted Junior. Thomas braked hard as they rounded the bend to the windmill. Mr Conductor sat on sacks of mail...or possibly flour, it was hard to tell. He looked very, very bored.

"Mr Conductor! You prathead!"

"Thomas!" Mr C stood up, and grinned at the sight of the blue engine. "Finally! I tried to wave down James, but he seemed to be in a bit of a huff about something and ignored me!"

"That's James to a tee." muttered Carlin.

"I'd say some random thing like "Thank throttles you're safe!" but I don't want to give myself a hernia." Thomas was grumpy.

Junior crawled out of the cab, stumbled around and nearly dropped Lily in an attempt to catch her as she jumped from the footstep. He turned to greet his very angry cousin with a smarmy grin even a mother would slap. "Hi cuz! So, ye look like ye've been having a rocking time! Have ye been getting sun?"

"In the last twenty four hours I've been abandoned, taken illegal substances, fallen into a pond, walked into a tree, got covered with ants and nearly got murdered by a massive heavy metal monster that threw me here. I only survived down to pure bullshit! Junior, the hell have you been?!"

"Well first of all, I'd say that's a pretty rocking day of it-"

Carlin dismounted and stormed towards Mr Conductor. The latter sighed. "Ah, at last, Carlin. Someone with a bit of-"

One punch later, Mr C stared up at Carlin in befuddlement.

"Of all the people in the entire world you can phone, you choose to phone THAT?!" He pointed to Junior, who was in the midst of picking his nose. "Next time, try phoning the police!? Or...anyone other than him!"

"Er, has your sparkle come back?" asked Thomas, wanting very much not to be an accessory to murder.

"No. It hasn't. But I've found a clue to it!"

"Well, let's hear it!" Junior said, eagerly.

"Stoke up the magic in the mountain, and..." Mr Conductor took a deep breath and... "I forget the rest! Drat!"

"Dither!" Everyone looked at Thomas. "What? I have no idea what's going on. You lot are all speaking gibberish, the entire world is going to hell, I like to feel as though I'm contributing SOMETHING of note here!"

"Oh, you too? I thought it was just me."

"No it is not, dear Lily. No it is not."

Junior decided that it was time to get real, and jumped onto the bags. He winced and felt to see if he had broken his ribs. "Hey cuz, ye look terrible."

"Well on that, we can agree." Carlin muttered, pulling a hip-flask out of Thomas's cab and began to chug it down.

"So, let's find some more gold-dust, cause I used yers up-"

"WHAT?!"

"-and THEN ye go back home, and I go back to the beach, and we only meet again in those absolutely terrible wee family reunions!"

Mr Conductor sighed, as Carlin finally ambled on over to sit besides the two of them. "Fine. Junior, listen to me very carefully-"

"I shall say this only once?" Carlin looked around at the baffled looks. "What? Oh come on, surely they have 'Allo Allo out in the states? Thomas, you've seen it!"

"Oh, I saw it, it's just not a very funny joke you just made!" At which point, something began to ring. Everyone looked around, before Mr Conductor pulled up a bunch of flowers.

"I've got it!"

"Nah, I'll take care of IT!" Junior was faster, and pulled up a pair of flowers. He was, understandably, very very high right now. "Hello? Hello? Huh, ye do have a deep voice! No, this is his cousin! His far prettier one too! And the one who gets all the girls! Who's this? Are ye interested in girls? What are you wearing right now? Oh hello Hatty!"

"JUNIOR GIVE ME THE PHONE!"

Carlin, Lily and Thomas watched with some bemusement as the two relatively grown men began battling over a bunch of flowers that were not, in fact, a phone. "Clearly, being alone for so long has left him a little stir crazy." Thomas muttered. "And is he trying to...flirt with Fatty?"

Carlin headed into the windmill, where the ACTUAL phone was ringing it's little heart out.

"So, Lily, how'd you end up with that quack?"

"It's a long story."

"We're going to be here a while, I'll listen." And so, they talked. As they did so, both Conductors argued vehemently about the flowers.

"No, no, he's hanging around here somewhere! Heeheehee! I am so endearing!"

"Sir Topham Hatt?! Yeah, ignore him, he just wanted to be friendly, and he's a complete bag of nothing when it comes to actual human interactions with actual people! No, he is not a dog. Though I understand the confusion. He is pretty much an English puppy in need of a good beating- I mean, training!" He slapped away Junior's hand. "Nothing to worry about, BYE!" And he slammed down the 'receiver' hard and glared at Junior.

"Ah, cuz, have ye met Lily? She's staying with the lonely old bast-I mean her grandpa stone!"

Mr C put on his best 'sane' face and headed over to meet Lily, who was comparing notes on most idiotic Conductor. "Hello Lily."

"Hello weird man who talks to flowers."

"Can we make that his title from now on?" asked Thomas, darkly. Carlin walked out, mood black and grim. But before they could say anything, there was a wooshing sound. Thomas stared in dumbstruck bafflement as the windmill's arms began swinging faster and faster with Junior attached.

"What-"

"-THE-"

"-f**king-"

"-HELL!?"

"WOAAAAAAAAAHOHOHOHO! WHEEEEEEEEE!"

"Oh it is too early in the morning for this." Thomas whimpered. "I shouldn't have woken up. I should have just gone back to sleep like a good little engine and let this horrible nightmare end."

"JUNIOR! WHAT ARE YOU DOING UP THERE!? HOW DID YOU GET UP THERE!? COME DOWN!" Mr Conductor's voice would have carried more weight, had it not cracked completely on the second word. "IT'S TOO WINDY!"

"A common complaint when dealing with you, I'm sure." Carlin growled, drinking more and more.

"This is just like yon funfair! Give us two seconds!"

"Two seconds?! Junior, you're on Sodor! That's all you need to land yourself in some deep, deep-" Mr Conductor didn't finish his sentence, as the wind picked up, the arms turned faster and faster and faster. He closed his eyes and tried to drown out the sound of Junior screaming at the top of his lungs, and the sound of Carlin groaning about his sister was going to kill him for getting her kid slain in such a undignified manner.

At which point, Junior was launched like a lawn dart through the air. He flew higher and higher and higher, even narrowly missing a painful death at the rotors of Harold, before landing with a thump on-

"Well well well, Twinkletoes Jr, I presume? How did you even survive a fall like that, anyway?"

"I WANNA GO HOME!"

"No surfing here, Mr Kahuna!" The Malevolence growled as the American forced his way to the front of his mind. "Hold on tight, moondoggie!"

"Ye think not?!" Junior stood up and posed triumphantly. "YEEEEE-HAAAAA!"

At which point, the Malevolence took control and tucked Junior safely under the space where his claw would be, rather undercutting the moment a bit.

"Diesel's highjacked him! ...Ah well, no loss." Thomas knew that seemed callous, but even these few minutes in Junior's company had been a few minutes too many. Lily awkwardly tugged on Mr Conductor's arm.

"Will he be okay?"

"We have a nack for getting out of trouble, eventually."

"I don't know how you lot define eventually, but it's going to be an awfully long time until THAT one gets out of trouble." Thomas sighed, and then pulled himself together. "Carlin, how about we get out of here and then you can tell us what the Fat Man said. If that was Fatty!"

"Oh it was. You're not going to f**king believe this."

...

Oliver watched in surprise as two battered, weary but unbeaten Caledonians arrived bearing a rather injured Duck on a flatbed. "HAIL TO THE CONQUERING HEROES!" shouted Donald.

"Would ye mind giving Duck a wee tune up?" said Douglas, a bit quieter. The Works Diesel shot him a glare, and rolled his eyes to show just how much stuff he had to do. "Please?" With a grimace, the Works Diesel took the flatbed and began to examine the wounds.

...

Down in Boomer's basement, Lady Hatt clapped her hands and looked around. Everyone was looking at her, slightly nervous but ready for action. "All right, here's the plan! The guards can't hear exactly what we're saying, but we need to create some sort of noise. Any sort, really. Just as long as it makes them think that we're sitting here twiddling our thumbs!"

"And...why can't that be?" asked Jobling, nervously.

"Because something weird is going on back at home, and we need to sort it out!" snapped Mrs Kyndley. Her sister nodded sagely. "Obviously!" Jobling looked down, depressed.

"Right. Now, let's see what we have." She moved over to the furthest wall, the one that was nearest to Shining Time Station and bent down. The drivers, firemen and farmers had attacked it with every bit of strength and any tools that came to hand. At last, a hole had slowly been worn down through the concrete. It was a small hole, and even for the smallest child it would be quite a squeeze, but nonetheless, it would be a way out of here. "That's as good as we'll get. Right. Now, some of us will be staying here, obviously. We need to distract this Boomer fellow and the guards while you try and get back into Sodor. We'll be sending every child out of here. They will need some support. Do we have any volunteers?"

"We'll do it!" Sidney said grimly. Charlie nodded. "We'll take care of them."

"That's good. Because I will also be entrusting you with any sick or injured, plus any women here who are carrying children. It's a lot to ask of you, but-"

"Say the word, marm, and we'll die for them."

"Hopefully it won't come to that." muttered Sir Topham Hatt. He had been forced to issue demands for surrender to the engines of the Island through Carlin. He doubted they'd be foolish enough to that though. He pulled himself together and stood up. "While the plan is to get as many out as possible, there will be some who will not escape. Those who are staying for sure are myself, Lady Hatt, Mayor Bedella, the Kyndleys-"

"My hip is sure to shatter!"

"Rather you than me, dear sister!"

"-Mr Jobling, the Refreshment Lady and yes I know you have a name, I just don't care, and the vicar. Anyone else who wishes to stay may."

"I will!" shouted Old Bailey, his words slurring somewhat. Despite this, he actually seemed more sane than he had been in a while.

"Likewise." Mr Jobling grunted. "If only because I don't think I'd make it out there."

"Anyone else?"

There was a long silence as everyone considered it. Husbands and wives hugged each other, mothers held their children close to them...and the Norris's just clung together. So they were all surprised when a hand from an unlikely source came up, and then from that unlikely source came the unlikeliest of words. "I'll stay."

"Alec?"

"Yes, try not to sound too surprised!" Alec scowled. "Just that you'll need help. I'm not much of a fighter, but I'll try my best." He looked at the others and sighed. "It's been great knowing you all."

"Ham." muttered the Barber.

A few others agreed to stay. Bobblehat, the head of the Air Force, Tiger Moth's pilot amongst others. At last, it was time for the escape to begin. They all stared at the hole, nervously.

"Oh, for god's-" Nancy struggled forward, got on her stomach and crawled through the gap. It was a tight squeeze, and she yelped, but she eventually scrabbled through. The others started talking instantly, just to keep the illusion going. More and more people slipped through. It took several shoves to get Heaver through, and Charlie had to loosen some more of the cement before he could squeeze under, but it was going better than expected.

"SIR TOPHAM HATT!"

The shout froze everyone in their place. Jobling was halfway between freedom and the prison, his legs trapped in the room. Alec looked at the guard. He had yet to shine his light on the tunnel, but when he did...Alec didn't think Jobling would live very long in this world. Besides, much to his horror, two children still remained in the room.

He took a deep breath.

And swung a punch.

The guard squawked, not having expected this, but reached out and grabbed Alec's other hand, the one already balling up into a fist. He twisted, sharply, and with a howl, Alec felt his bone snap.

He chanced a look back. Jobling and the boys had been pulled free, and he could just about make out the sounds of everyone making like a tree and running like maniacs.

Then the butt of a shotgun smacked him right in the head, and he slumped to the ground. Immediately, two other guards dragged him away, while his victim took hold of Hatt's arm and without looking around him, marched the Controller out of there.

For a moment, the remaining people were silent. They heard the sound of two pairs of boots marching to the outside of the house. The door slammed shut, the sound echoing in the almost-deathly quiet. Then, softer footsteps, but only because of the dirt.

Then they stopped.

Alec's voice rang out."You know, you're really beginning to piss me o-"

The shot rang out, shattering the uneasy piece. Bedella gasped, Lady Hatt gripped the wall, Bobblehat screamed, and the Vicar immediately began muttering prayers under his breath. The Kyndley's grabbed each other's arms and held on tight.

If they had looked through the hole in the wall, they would have seen Alec's still twitching corpse lying there, alone and small in the mud.

...

Ivo Hugh struggled once more. The ropes were beginning to fray. If he just continued on like this, then maybe...just maybe-

"Captain, I will not start the invasion just yet. I need an hour to make sure that everything is prepared! Tell Arry that his desire for scrap will be the death of him! Right, I'll test the machine with an actual living being and send over one of our trump cards, but that's it! And don't contact me, I'll contact you!" The Fat Director slammed the phone down. "You can't find the help these days!" He pressed a button on the communications panel.

"Sir?"

"Send D3 through the portal. If he makes it through in one piece, then make sure he knows to head over to the China Clay Works."

There was a pause. And then...

"He's through! He's on the Island, sir!"

"Excellent." The Fat Director's smile was sick and twisted, much like the rest of him. "Now, put me through to the guards at the Vicarstown Bridge."

...

"What do you mean "I can't get in!" you silly little man!?" snapped Daisy to the official from the Other Railway. Vicarstown was blocked off, save for the diesels coming towards the Island.

"Sorry miss, but no engines bar those with clearance can get past this point!"

"But...but he did!"

The official turned, just in time to see a familiar flash of goldenrod rushing towards the bridge. He shouted for his men to stop the Bluebell Engine, but years of dodging and fighting had taught Stepney how to escape. With a wild cackle, he flew over the bridge, reached the other side and disappeared onto an adjoining track.

"Sir, we have an issue!"

"No we don't." The Fat Director said, smoothly. "Not even that Bluebell loving freak can stop us now!"

"How do you know that?"

"Oh-"

As Daisy was forced back by the guards, she was passed by the massive, iron clad and silent figure of the Juggernaut.

"-just a gut feeling."

REVIEW TIME.

MattPrice01: Exactly! I love writing their interactions, it's really fun to do so! Wild Force and Ninja Storm are fairly decent, though the other two have some problems anyway! Hope you enjoy the rest of this!

Game-Watch: Well, that's true.

Kamen Rider Necrom: That they have. There'll be more of him as we go along!

Bronze Shield: Glad you're loving it! This chapter was actually surprisingly easy to write...somewhat.

bigyihsuan: Yep. It's weird.

Reality Rejection Service: Edward is definitely repressing a lot of anger. And he's basically trying to keep on top of things. Writing his stuff is one of my favorite parts, especially in this chapter. And yeah, Carlin steals the show big time. I really love writing him returning to his roots here.

Radical sandwiches: Carlin has that covered, don't you worry! I'm glad you're loving it! There's more on the way!

TrainManiac: Yeah, I had a lot of fun writing that chapter! And a little shout out to that idea in this chapter! The problem is that Britt was caught in the midst of executive meddling and the fact that it was going to be hard to make a movie that pleased both sides of the pond. I do admire her attempts though. It's a failure, but an interesting one.

Reid007: Hey, in the movie, she just sort of deals with it all. Felt like I had to give some reason for that. Glad you liked her!

AaronCottrell97: It's weird, but Toby is actually the best written character out of all the engines! If we had more of that Toby from that point onwards, I think he'd be much more popular. And he's the only voice that I would keep, really.

UGX7: It's entirely possible that those were in fact flour bags. I even pointed that. My apologies for the error! That actually does make sense, in a way. Awdry had a LOT of characters introduced in the series, and some didn't really get that much detail (COUGH COUGH BEAR COUGH COUGH), so yeah, that's fair enough. Yeah, I don't know either about the song. It's a lovely bit anyway.

And now for normal notes!

-The references to Queen was done primarily because I felt that a bit of reflection of how the story started and where it is now was in order. In the previous chapter, I had Junior remark on it too. The best thing is that this is going to be the darkest thing I'm going to do with this universe for a good bit. After this, hopefully we can return to the simpler times that Edward talks about.

-On which note, the title is a shout out to one of my favorite Queen songs, 'I Want It All'. Figured that it fit the bill for this chapter.

-The reference to engine biology is my attempt to at the very least offer some explanation for how the engines can consume food and drink and not have it clog up their insides. Basically, I'm operating on the theory that it all goes through some process that sends it to the appropiate places (Fire for the food, tank for the water). So I hope that clears that up!

-And the reference to Starr? ...Wait and see.

-The universes shown in the journey through the railroad are varied. One represents the original Railway Series books as written by both Awdry's, another represents Shed 17's story, another looks at the traditional human style stories that I've seen, a gender-swapped universe which is there for no real reason and a more apocalyptic one. Basically, I'm trying to set some stuff up, that there are other universes out there. Who know's what might be coming from there, eh?

-Fun fact, in the original Shining Time show, Carlin's Mr Conductor did have a sister who came to visit in one episode. Now, while I have not watched that much of Shining TIme, I did recall watching that episode. Hence, Junior is her son. I basically wanted to expand on what the relationship between the Conductors actually is, though I haven't quite worked out what Baldwin's Conductor is to Carlin's yet.

-Donald and Douglas's fight was actually the second to last thing I did on this chapter, aside from Burnett's flashback. I actually found it really hard to do for the most part, but I hope it comes off okay. Butch's new persona is essentially my way of trying to give character to someone who doesn't even get any until Season 15, and I figured having George vs Butch would be cool. Likewise, giving Douglas a moment of awesome was fun too.

-D3, for those not in the know, is the duplicate of BoCo created back in Season 3. Just as a reminder.

-Speaking of Baldwin, poor Alec. I actually really enjoying writing him in Season 5, primarily because I liked writing Percy's interactions with a relative straight man throughout the entire thing, and I think he was a good contrast to Carlin. As he was the most developed of the human characters, however, I decided that I needed someone else to die in a heroic manner. A fun fact as well is that I was originally intending for the dead one to be Inspector Norris (The original from Season 2 who started the trend) back when I was writing this in February or March. But events moved on, and the fact that i introduced the Norris clan meant that killing him off would have had little impact. So again, sorry Alec!

-On a unrelated note, last chapter Marklin and Gotch made their way to Shining Time via a pair of green eyed Tugs. For those not in the know, they are the Pirates from the TUGS episode of the same name. Had I actually finished TUGS Abridged at this stage, there was going to be a massive tie in regarding what happened after the events of the show and how Captain Zero has managed to survive into the present day. However, that is not the case. I did not cut the two tugs for the reason that I felt it would be a nice shout out. And hey, maybe I will explain what happened to the Star Tugs and Z-Stacks...one day.

-The last scene was actually something that i had been considering cutting, but it felt like a good way to kill a few birds with one stone. Firstly, getting a Daisy cameo in there (This is the extent of her involvement in the plot, I don't have anything for her, unlike the others). Secondly, re-introducing the Juggernaut as a major threat (For the record, this one is 98462, the other one is still masquerading as Truro's help) which is going to be important once we get to the big battles.

Next time! The pieces fall into place for the grand battle, and Thomas has to make a decision! TUNE IN NEXT TIME, SAME ABRIDGING STORY, SAME ABRIDGING...website, I guess.