CHAPTER 2

"Mama!"

The screams of my son where all that I need to hear to make my day better. Somehow, the sound of my son's voice was able to pull me out of any day dream. He was my world, he was the reason that I got up every morning. If i was honest he was the only reason i was here.

"Luke! How is my little monkey butt?"

As I held my son in my arms, everything felt right. Like nothing Arizona could say that would ever change that. My son was the spitting image of his mother but that didn't stop me from loving him. There were days when i thought the idea of waking up was like slap in the face. Nowadays my sons voice was enough to get me out of bed, some days.

"It was a good day mama. Auntie made us cookies and Peyton and I did our homework and just played outside. Guess what Peyton told me, she said that he doesn't like Spongebob. Can you believe that mama? "

Lucas looked up at me with his beautiful blue eyes and I could see the disbelief that his cousin didn't like his favorite cartoon. Like the everyone in the world was suppose to love all the things that he loved.

"No way baby. That is crazy. But you know that you are a little crazy too. You told her last week that you didnt like Hello Kitty and she thought that you where insane. Let me go see Auntie Charlye and see how her day was. Ok. Go see if Peyton wants to play before we go."

As Lucas jumped from my arms, I watched him run off to go play. I stared at him and watched as he run to my niece and started to play. I then turned up the walk and went to see my sister. She was like my best friend. When Arizona left the first time, she was the one that helped me through it. She didn't just say it was going to be ok, or that it would all work out in the end. She stuck by me and helped me with the healing process. If Arizona was really back to stay she was the first person I wanted to tell. Maybe she could help with all the unanswered questions.

I still didn't get why she was back. The last I heard she had a pretty good life. She wasn't filthy rich, but she was pretty well off. She had a nice place in a city, with a big fancy car and basically everything she had ever wanted. She always said that she thought she was a city girl stuck in a small town. Now she was back in Davis. Why come back to this little hick town.

"Charlye! Hey girl where are you at?" I yelled as I walked into my sister's house. My sister was about 3 years younger than I. She and her husband, Chandler, were basically my whole world. This was the place that I went to when I felt like I had nowhere to go. She would say that what I had so wanted but in a way I envied her. She had the life I had always wanted. She meets her husband in high school.

They were juniors in high school when they started to date. Although they had their issues and I mean issues. They went through all kinds of crazy stuff, from pregnancy scares to brothers being killed. Even through all that they still made it. They got married at 19, and then had my little nieces at 21. Now at 28 she and Chandler just bought a huge house on about 2 acres.

"Hey Cal. I'm in the kitchen."

Walking in my sister's house made me feel proud. My little sister had just made it big. She got everything she ever wanted. I was not only happy for her but I was also so proud. I mean who wouldn't be proud of their little sister that was happy and had everything she wanted.

"Hey girl, I got some crazy news for you. Guess who I just ran into."

"Was it Mickey Mouse? Cause Payton swears that she saw him playing in the yard earlier."

I smirked. As I sat at her kitchen table I said "No close though. I saw and talked to Arizona Robbins."

As soon as I said his name my sister's head turned so fast I thought she was going to get whiplash. The look on her face was one of disbelief and almost fears. In her eyes I could see her remembering everything that we had been through. And I could see she was scared that I would want to get back with Arizona and that history would repeat itself. Maybe this time i woud not recover like i had before. That I have my world completely shattered again. She was the only person that understood the control that she had over me. Well the control that she once had over me. In my heart of heart that she may still have that power.

"Charlie your silence is speaking volumes. I need you to say something, anything would be better than this."

"Uh…mmm." For the first time in her life, she had nothing to say. This was the girl that had something to say about everything. So her not having anything to say was a rarity and not at all an ok thing.

"I can't believe it. Why is she back? Does she know about Lucas? Did you call her and tell her what was going on?"

"Whoa whoa, breathe honey. Relax. No I didn't tell her. I told you that I never would, besides the only people that do no is you, me, and mom. why would I?"

I could see that it was getting hard for her to understand. She was bringing to ask the same questions I was.

"I'm sorry but every time you say her name all I can think about is how bads he hurt you and that night that she left you."

Her words forced me back to a night that I had sworn to never revisit.

When I finally got to the park, which was our spot, I thought about all the time we spent there. This was the place where I first realized that I love her, this was the place where we had our first kiss and now it was going to be the place where she would break my heart. I hated her for this, it didn't matter what great times we had had here, and in one quick moment he would kill all of our great memories. Everything I was trying so hard to hold on to. Now everything will be corrupted by this night.

As I got closer I saw that she had already beat me here. God why did she have to look so nice? She always did though. It didn't matter what we were doing she always liked so beautiful. She was about 5'9 with an athletic body and was tall enough that my head would lay on her chest every time that we hugged. But that was a position that I would not be in ever again. I would never have her arms wrap around me after a long day nor would I be able to cry on her shoulder when I got in a fight with my mom. This was almost too much to process I almost walked away. However I had to know what was going on.

With my head held high I walked right up to her and said "How can you jus leave me? Are you saying you don't love me anymore? That you just woke up and said 'hey you know what I don't love her anymore, it's just not worth it for me. So I am just going to leave town. Fuck her and if she loves me it doesn't really matter.'"

I had to go straight to the point. I knew that if she said anything first I would just melt and let her get away with this. It was crazy the control that she had over me. With one puppy dog look, she could get me to do almost anything. The way that her eyes could pierce my soul. Her touch could make me say yes to anything that she asked. That had gotten me into trouble when we were younger. So I knew that if I didn't go first I would never get the answers I need. She left her head and what I saw shook me to my core. She didn't use his puppy dog look this time. Instead of that she looked at me with a plain, emotionless face and said "not in so many words but yeah. I just feel like this town is choking me. The only thing that is keeping me here is you, and you and I aren't where we use to be and I don't know if I even want to get back to that. I need to get out of here and be free."

As I let that sink in I saw the playground, and thought about the kids that would play there tomorrow. The little boys and girls that were totally oblivious to what was going on in the world. To be so young and not have to worry about real life issues, not knowing that one day they could be sitting in this exact position. Sitting here with the realization that the love of your life was going to leave you and there was nothing you could do about it.

"You need to be free for me."I asked with tears starting to well in my eyes. I told myself not to do this. Fuck. Before she could answer I shook my head making sure she would not answer, this was an answer that I didn't want to know. Did she really think that I was holding her back. How could she believe that I was the one stopping her from her dreams? I was her ride or die and I would do anything for her, just like I had always done. "I don't know what you want me to say. I could try and find the right words to get you to stay, but what's the use? It seems like you have already made your mind up and we both know there's no changing it. So why would I even try, it useless." Tears started to come to my eyes again but I could not let her see me cry. I would not give someone that didn't love me see me cry. Looking at the ground unable to look her in her eyes I said, "Damn I love you so much, don't you see that? Don't see you see how much this is killing me?"

I thought that maybe somehow she would see that this was going to hurt me. Try and see how this was going to affect me. Maybe this would be enough of a reason for her to stay, but with the coldest eyes she looked at me and said "Yeah I have made up my mind I'm leaving and there is nothing you can do to change that. I have to, just thought I should be the one to tell you. I respect you enough to tell you face to face instead of you coming by the house and seeing all my shit gone." She said it with such callus and almost robotic. Respect not love that was the word that she used. Did she really stop loving me out of nowhere. It almost seemed like she had practiced this and had a response for everything that I could possibly have to say.

With that she turned and left me sitting there. With tears in my eyes now streaming down my face I yelled after her "Do you even still love me?" Without even turning to look at me she said "It doesn't matter how I fell, I have to do this."