DPOV

We walked through the woods, heading for a place I remembered finding a while back.

Beth- not one for silence- spoke up. "A motorcycle mechanic?"

"Huh?" I asked, having no clue what she was going on about.

"That's my guess." she answered as if it was obvious. "For what you were doing before the turn. Did Zach ever guess that one?"

"It don't matter." I sighed. "Hasn't mattered for a long time."

"It's just what people talk about. You know, to feel normal."

There's no such thing as normal, especially in a world like this. But normal to me was never normal like everyone else... "Yeah. Well, that never felt normal to me." we came to a clearing, s cabin sat in front of us, a shed beside it, junk all over the place. It looked all too familiar... "Found this place with Vic." I explained.

"I was expecting a liquor store."

"No. This is better." I gestured for her to follow as I headed for the shed, opening it up to see what I'd expected. A moonshine still.

"What's that?" she asked as I grabbed some jars and set them into a small crate.

"Moonshine." I answered, handing the crate over. Picking up my crossbow I nodded to the house. "Come on."

Careful, slow, and quiet I checked the house, making sure all the rooms were clear and safe. If she was drinking, I couldn't risk having some walker jump out and grab her. She won't be herself much longer- especially if it's her first drink. She set the jars on the table while I grabbed a cup and cleaning the dust out of it. I poured some moonshine for her, setting on the table.

"All right. That's a real first drink right there." I nodded, but she just sat there, staring at the drink. "What's the matter?"

"Nothing." she shook her head, looking up at me. "It's just... my dad always said bad moonshine can make you go blind."

I shrugged. "Ain't nothing worth seeing out there anymore anyway."

After hesitating a moment longer, she grabbed the cup and took a drink. At first she frowned, before smiling widely. "That's the most disgusting thing I've ever tasted." lifting the cup, she finished it. "Second round's better." she gave a little laugh, reaching for the jar I'd opened.

"Slow down." I warned.

"This one's for you."

I shook my head as she poured. "No, I'm good."

"Why?" she sounded offended.

"Someone's got to keep watch." I told her as if it was obvious- because it was.

"So what, you're like my chaperone now?"

"Just drink lots of water." I sighed, moving to set the place up for the night.

"Yes, Mr Dixon."

I froze, thinking of Vic. She used to call me that. No so much anymore, but before, there had been times when she had. There were enough times for me to remember, and feel a stab of pain now. She was the only one who had called me that...

Shaking my head, I moved on, grabbing whatever was lying around, and using it to cover the windows. Hammering nails into boards to cover any view of us inside.

Beth laughed. "Who'd go into a store and walkout with this?" she pulled out a pink bra bowl thing. I wasn't sure what it was, but it wasn't the first time I'd seen something like it before.

"My dad, that's who." I shrugged, answering. "He's a dumbass. He'd set those up on top of the TV set, use them as target practice."

"He shot things in your house?" she sounded shocked as if it wasn't normal... which it wasn't for her but for me it was.

"It was just junk anyway." I shrugged again. "That's how I knew what this place was. That shed out there? My dad had a place just like this." I looked around the room, pointing at the crappy sofa. "You got your dumpster chair. That's for sitting in you drawers al summer, drinkin'."

I pointed a metal pot thing. "Got your fancy buckets. That's for spittin' chaw in, after your old lady tell you to stop smokin'." I grabbed some old newspapers. "You got your in'ernet." dropping it I sighed.

Vic came to mind again. I wondered what she would have thought if we'd met when the world was the way it had been. I didn't think we would have gotten together. She was a lot younger than me- I was old enough to be her father honestly... But besides that, she wouldn't have been interested in a lazy, rude, racist pig like me and I would have just seen her as some useless girl good for nothing but one thing...

We'd changed each other though, for the good. Though I'd changed more. I was less angry and more thoughtful. I cared about more than just me. She wasn't a little girl anymore. She'd grown up.

A walker snarled outside.

I gestured for her to stay quiet while I turned to look out the window I'd been boarding up. "It's just one of them." I told her.

"Should we get it?"

Shaking my head, I looked back at her. "If it keeps making too much noise, yeah."

She looked to her side, grabbing a jar of moonshine. "Well, if we're gonna be trapped again, we might as well make the best of it." she offered me the drink. "Unless you're too busy chaperoning, Mr Dixon."

I felt another stab of pain at the nickname. "Hell." moving towards her I grabbed the jar. "Might as well make the best of it." sitting on the couch next to where she sat on the floor, I rocked on it, opening the jar. "Home, sweet home." I mumbled before taking a drink.

I wasn't much for drinking anymore. The last time I had was when we'd been at the CDC and I had wanted to kill Shane for touching Vic, but having her there stopped me. Couldn't really control myself while I was drinking. But if it meant dulling the pain of losing her, and everyone, and having no idea what to do or where to go, then I was going to drink.

...

I leaned against the sofa, looking at Beth as she explained 'Never Have I Ever', a drinking game I'd never heard of. "So first I say something I've never done, and if you have done it, you drink. And if you haven't, I drink. Then we switch." she looked at me surprised. "You really don't know this game?"

"I ain't ever needed a game to get lit before."

"Wait, are we starting?"

Ignoring her, I pointed, wondering something. "How do you know this game?"

She shrugged. "My friends played. I watched." shaking her head she went on. "Okay, I'll start. I've never shot a crossbow. So now you drink."

"Ain't much of a game." reaching for one of the drink on the makeshift table in front of us, I took a drink.

"That was a warm up." she explained. "Now you go."

"Um..." I couldn't think of anything. "I don't know."

"Just say the first think that pops into you head."

I did as she said. "I've never been out of Georgia."

"Really? Okay. Good one." she took a drink. "I've never been drunk and did something I regretted."

I took a drink. "I've done a lot of things." I told her, setting the jar down.

"Your turn."

"I've never been on vacation."

"What about camping?"

I shook my head. "No, that was just something I had to learn to hunt."

"Your dad teach you?"

"Mm hmm." that was not a conversation I was having with her. He wasn't a person I liked to think about...

She shrugged. "Okay." once she took a drink, she set the jar down before think up a question. "I've... never been in jail. I mean, as a prisoner." she added as if that was going to make it better.

I watched her carefully, trying not to react because I could feel myself boiling. "Is that what you think of me?"

"I didn't mean anything serious. I just thought, you know, like the drunk tank. Even my dad got locked up for that back in the day."

I gestured to one of the jars. "Drink up."

"Wait. Prison guard." it was like she was trying to lighten the mood, or maybe she didn't realize how pissed she'd made me. "Were you a prison guard before?"

I just kept staring at her. "No."

"It's your turn again." she smiled.

I got up with a sigh. "I'm gonna take a piss." walking to the other side of the room, I dropped jar my jar, letting it shatter against the ground, making a loud noise.

"You have to be quiet."

"Can't hear you!" I yelled over my shoulder, unzipping my pants. "I'm taking a piss!"

"Daryl, don't talk so loud."

"What, are you my chaperon now?" finishing I turned around, doing my belt back up. "Oh wait, it's my turn now. I've never, uh... I've never eaten frozen yogurt. Never had a pet pony. Never got nothing for Santa Claus."

I hit the chair the jars sat on, not enough to push it over, but still made the jars clang together. "Never relied on anyone for protection before. Heck, I don't think I've relied on anyone for anythin'!"

"Daryl."

"Never sung out in front of a big group out in public, like everything was fun. Like everything was a big game." I turned away from her, shaking my head before turning back. "I sure as hell never cut my wrists looking for attention!"

The walker outside started snarling again, louder than before. All the noise from inside had it getting excited.

"Oh, sounds like our friend is trying to call over his buddies." kicking some tins that sat on the floor, I made more noise on purpose.

"Daryl, just shut up."

"You never shot a crossbow before? I'm gonna teach you right now." I grabbed her arm. "Come on. It's gonna be fun." pulling her up I moved to the door before kicking it open.

"We should stay inside." she struggled against me as pulled her along to the side of the house. "Daryl, cut it out! Daryl!"

The walker came around towards us, snarling, arms stretch out in front of him.

"Dumbass. Come here, dumbass." I shot him, my bolt sticking into the tree behind him, making it so the walker couldn't move.

"Daryl." Beth warned.

"You want to shoot?"

"I-I don't know how."

"It's easy." I grabbed her again, holding her in place, facing the walker as it struggle. "Come here. Right corner." I shot my crossbow, showing her.

She pushed me away. "Let's just practise later."

"Come on, it's fun." I set my crossbow up for another.

"Just stop it. Daryl!"

Grabbing her again, I took aim. "Come here. Eight ball." shooting, I hit the walker.

"Just kill it!"

Letting go of her I moved towards the walker. "Come here, Greene. Let's pull these out. Get a little more target practice."

Before I got to it, she stormed over, stabbing it in the head with the knife.

I turned to her, frowning, pissed. "What the hell you do that for? I was havin' fun."

"No, you were being a jackass. If anyone found my dad-"

"Don't!" I cut her off. "That ain't remotely the same!"

"Killing them is not supposed to be fun!"

"What do you want from me girl?" I snapped, getting in her face. "Huh?"

"I want you to stop acting like you don't give a crap about anythin'! Like nothing we went through matters. Like none of the people we lost meant anything to you. It's bullshit!"

"Is that what you think?"

She stood her ground. "That's what I know."

"You don't know nothin'!"

"I know you look at me and you just see another dead girl. I'm not Michonne. I'm not Carol. I'm not Maggie. I'm not Vickie. I've survived and you don't get it 'cause I'm not like you or them. But I made it! And you don't get to treat me like crap because you're afraid."

Shaking my head, I stepped closer to her. "I ain't afraid of nothing."

She kept staring at me. "I remember. When that little girl came out of the barn after my mum. You were like me. And now, God forbid, you ever let anyone get too close."

"Too close, huh? You know all about that. You lost two boyfriends! You can't even shed a tear! Your whole family's gone and all you can do is go out looking for a hooch like some dumb college bitch!"

"Screw you. You don't get it."

"No, you don't get it! Everyone we know is dead!"

"You don't know that!"

"Might as well be, 'cause you ain't never gonna see them again! Rick. You ain't never gonna see Maggie again!"

"Daryl, just stop!" she reached.

I pulled away, turning so my back was to her. "No!" I took a shaky breath. "The Governor rolled right up to our gates. Maybe if I wouldn't have stopped looking. Maybe 'cause I gave up. That's on me."

"Daryl."

"No." I tried to breathe but found it was harder than normal. Everything felt like it was falling apart as my walls crumbled. "And your dad. Maybe- Maybe I could have done something."

Her arms came around me as she hugged me from behind. Her grasp on me tighter and comfortingly.

I couldn't stop myself, I started to cry.

...

"I get why my dad stopped drinking."

We sat on the porch, the sun now set, the sound of crickets chirping around us. Bugs and creatures that slept during the day were awake and lively, moving around the woods, surviving like we all had to.

"You feel sick?" I looked at her from where I'd been digging my knife into the wooden floor boards.

"Nope. I wish I could feel like this all the time. That's bad." she smiled.

Turning out at the trees I gave a short nod. "You're lucky you're a happy drunk."

"Yeah, I'm lucky. Some people can be real jerks when they drink."

"Yeah, I'm a dick when I'm drunk." I looked at her again before turning back to my knife at ground. "Merle had this dealer. This janky little white guy. A tweaker. One day we were over at his house watching TV. Wasn't even noon yet and we were all wasted. Merle was high.

"We were watching this show and Merle was talking all this dumb stuff about it. He wouldn't let up. Merle never could. Turns out, it was the tweaker's kid's favourite show. And he never sees his kids, so he felt guilty about it or something. So he punches Merle in the face. So I started hitting the tweaker, like hard, hard as I can.

"And he pulls a gun, sticks it right here." I gestured to my temple. "He says, 'I'm gonna kill you, bitch!'. So Merle pulls his gun on him. Everyone's yelled. I'm yellin'. I thought I was dead. Over a dumb cartoon about a talking dog." I scoffed. Things were a lot different back then...

"How'd you get out of it?"

"The tweaker punched me in the gut. I puked. They both started laughin' and forgot all about it." turning away I thought about the person I'd been. "You wanna know what I was before all this? I was just driftin' around with Merle, doin' whatever he said we were gonna be doin' that day. I was nobody. Nothin'. Some redneck asshole with an even bigger asshole for a brother."

"You miss him don't you? I miss Maggie. I miss her bossin' me around." she laughed. "I miss my big brother, Shawn. He was so annoying and overprotective. And my dad." her laughter stopped, smile falling as she turned sad. "I thought...

"I hoped he'd just live the rest of his life in peace, you know? I thought Maggie and Glenn would have a baby. And he'd get to be a grandpa. And we'd have birthdays and holidays and summer picnics." she smiled, sighing.

"And he'd get really old. And it's happen, but, it'd be quiet." shrugging she went on. "It'd be okay. He'd be surrounded by people he loved." looking at her hands she turned sombre as she thought about it all, before looking up again and smiling. "That's how unbelievably stupid I am." she was crying, reaching for her jar to take drink.

"That's how it was supposed to be." I admitted, because that's what I had wanted. Things I never thought I'd ever want, a things I knew I'd never get.

I thought we'd stay at the prison, bring people in, start farming, breeding animals to for food. Vic, she would have gotten pregnant. We'd have a kid, bring it up with Aly. Maybe we'd find another dog that would get with Houdini, and we'd have puppies. The kids would be happy, we'd be together, and things would be right. We'd get married, like Glenn and Maggie, not official because that's all gone, but we'd have a party and Rick would give her away. Eventually people would start to pass, but it wouldn't be bad, it's be simple. And Vic and I would get old, leave the council for the next generation.

Her sigh brought me out of my thoughts. "I wish I could just change."

"You did."

"Not enough. Not like you. It's like you were made for how things are now."

"I'm just used to this. Things being ugly. Growing up in a place like this."

"But you get away from it."

I shook my head. "I didn't."

"You did." she insisted.

"Maybe you gotta keep on remindin' me sometimes."

"No. You can't depend on anybody for anything, right?"

Silence fell between us once more, and I found myself listening to the crickets. Aly had loved the sound of the crickets...

"I'll be gone someday." she said out of nowhere.

I turned to her. "Stop."

"I will." shifting on the spot, she went on. "You're gonna be the last man standing. You are. You're gonna miss me so bad when I'm gone, Daryl Dixon." smile.

"You ain't a happy drunk at all."

"Yeah, I'm happy. I'm just not blind." she laughed. "You gotta stay who you are, not who you were. Places like this, you have to put it away."

"What if you can't?"

"You have to. Or it kills you. Here." her hand pressed against her chest, right above her heart, and she smile.

I looked at her, before looking away again. "We should go inside."

"We should burn it down." her smile widened as she laughed.

I got up, grabbing the jar off the floor before moving towards the door. I stopped a few steps away, looking over my shoulder at her again. "We're gonna need more booze." was all I said before I headed inside.

She followed me, the two of us moving to the crate of jars. I grabbed one and opened it, splashing the moonshine everywhere. She laugh grabbing her own jar.

We spilled, poured, shook and tossed all the jar, moonshine going everywhere. Making our way towards the door again as we did so, until we stood out on the porch.

We poured more over everything we could see. Splashing the liquid around us while walking backwards, off the porch. Once we stood on the dirt, we tossed a jar each, Beth's smashing against the porch.

Walking away I made sure we were far enough before stopping. Putting me things down I searched the bag I'd grabbed from the lodge, pulling out the matches that had sat in the bowl in the bar. "You wanna?" I offer her the matches.

"Hell, yeah." she took them, lighting one up before putting it to the stack of cash I now head out towards her.

Once it was caught on fire I threw it towards the porch. We watched as the flames started off small, slowly growing. I threw the last jar of moonshine, the flames growing as it hit the alcohol and spread through the house.

Beth raised her arm, giving the burning house the finger. She nudged me, and with a sigh, I lifted my own arm, and my own finger.

Walkers appeared, attracted to the flames, and we knew it was now time to move on. Dropping our fingers, we turned and left.

BaMbY