Disclaimer: I hold no ownership of the setting, characters, or concepts of the Harry Potter universe.
As the students piled into the Great Hall that Saturday night for the End-of-Year feast, Severus seemed oblivious to the rowdy noise of excited students. The words of Professor Babbling earlier that day had been bouncing back and forth in his head with all the subtlety of two Beaters smashing a Bludger.
"Strength of emotion...honestly, did this Apeiron have no concept of keeping his weaknesses hidden from his foes? "
Once he gazed across the large room and briefly caught a glance of Lily at the Gryffindor table, he couldn't help but scoff at his own conflicting thoughts. On one hand, he always felt somewhat lighter gazing into her green eyes and seeing them full of life once more, but that's when the memories of her death would haunt him most.
"The things important to the heart are not a strength at all. What use is strength in your emotions if you open yourself up to the deepest pits of despair by living that way?"
After a few moments of self-deliberation, even Severus was roused from his torrent of thoughts by the booming voice of Albus Dumbledore. The Headmaster was beginning his end-of-term speech, but the young Slytherin did not feel any particular motivation in looking at a man he had killed in another life. And so, Severus was content to let the words flow into his ears as he stared absentmindedly at the table.
"Once again, another year has come to a close. And as always, it's time to announce the results of the House Cup. As I understand it, this last week has been quite the back-and-forth between the our top two contenders, but let me start off by congratulating everyone who worked hard to earn points for their house this year. In fourth place, Hufflepuff, with 672 points…"
"672…?! Since when does a last place house have so many points..?" Severus bemused to himself.
"In third place, Ravenclaw, with 734 points."
"How in Merlin's name are the point totals so high..? There aren't any major staff changes except...oh…" He couldn't help but let out a chuckle once the irony hit him. The reason House points were so much lower in his previous life was because he was taking them away at a moment's notice.
"In second place, Slytherin, with 755 points. And in first place, Gryffindor, with a record-setting 794 points!"
From the applause of the Great Hall came the energetic cheering of the Gryffindor table, led most loudly by James Potter and Sirius Black, the pair of whom had earned the lion's share of those points, along with that year's Quidditch Cup. The lead would have been even bigger had Lily not taken points from James the week before.
"Yes, indeed, kudos to Gryffindor House for their lead. However, a very important event occurred earlier this week that I feel needs attention brought to it...Those at the Gryffindor table, I'd like you to direct your eyes to Miss Lily Evans…"
Each of the Gryffindors seemed bewildered by the Headmaster's request, but honored it, much to the embarrassment of Lily. The young Prefect's face had turned as red as her hair at the attention, not knowing what this was about. Severus also focused on Lily, ignoring the grumblings of the pureblood supremacists whispering about the Muggleborn girl.
"As you may have heard, Miss Evans was the victim of a life-threatening attack three nights ago during the Astronomy O.W.L.s. The identity of her attacker is yet unknown, but I can assure you all that the staff is working to get to the bottom of it. What isn't a question, however, is the identity of the student who saved her from certain death…"
Severus grew rigid, and he stared into Lily's emerald eyes. A smile was growing on her face, while the dread was mounting on his own. Clearly, they both knew what was coming.
"Mr. Severus Snape, of Slytherin House…"
The residual applause and cheer from earlier vanished instantly, and for once, Severus wished he were dead again, as all eyes in the Great Hall seemed to be upon him, completely silent besides the echo of Dumbledore's voice.
"Allow me to thank you personally for your selfless bravery that night. You saved not only Miss Evans' life, but all of us as well from grief and a heart-breaking memorial announcement. I cannot tell you how difficult it is as a Headmaster to do such a thing during a time meant for celebrating a year's end. And so, while I'm sure Miss Evans will agree that it can never be gratitude enough, I have no choice but to reward such heroism. I award Slytherin House 40 points, and I hope your actions can inspire the hearts of others in your house to defy all expectations in the name of what is right."
The entire Great Hall's silence continued, not that it mattered to Severus because the announcement had left him completely numb. He could feel the conflicted air of the Slytherin students around him. They seemed almost afraid to cheer, because although they had won the House Cup, it had been due to one of their brightest students saving the life of a Muggleborn witch…
For another few seconds, the rest of Hogwarts' students seemed unsure of how to react when Lily stood at the other end of the Great Hall and began clapping, a tearful smile as she did so. Immediately after, Mary, seated on Lily's right, followed suit in clapping. Then Remus, then Frank and Alice, and upon the Head Boy and Girl showing their appreciation, the floodgates opened as nearly everyone in the large room, student and staff, joined in thunderous applause.
The booming noise was almost too much to take as Severus felt the quiver in his spine. This time in his last life, he would have given anything for this kind of respect and attention. But given the circumstances now and how all he wanted to do was keep his head low for the sake of Lily's safety, he could only be fearful that this event might doom her to another attack…
As the students' celebrations started to wind down and the food from the feast began to dwindle, Dumbledore's voice once more echoed throughout the Great Hall.
"I would like to share a few words, as I so often do. What you choose to do with those words is just that, your choice, my young friends. As you all head off tomorrow to enjoy your Summers, amongst friends and family, I trust you all to be mindful of the political unrest brewing in our world at the moment…
"Quite often, we can be tempted to travel along an errant path. Whether that be from a desire for more out of life, or simply a desire to keep what you have. Fear, very often, is the first step of that path. My challenge to you all this coming Summer, is to face one fear head-on. To not be shackled by the suffocating sensation of that one fear, to not run away from the pain of that fear, but to conquer it. Whether that fear be something as common as a phobia, or something less direct and more challenging such as confessing a secret to another…"
Those words immediately caused Severus' eyes to look up and see the Headmaster's gaze intently locked on to his own. "After all, there is great strength to be found...when one follows the heart."
"How can he know?! I haven't felt him try to invade my mind at all…" Severus was seething mentally. First, Dumbledore's call for attention to his saving Lily, and then seemingly taunting him with obvious knowledge of the Mark of Apeiron. As the students began filing to their house dormitories, the young Slytherin swore to himself that he would find out everything that the Headmaster knew when sixth-year term started…
The following morning passed in a blur for Severus, who woke shortly before dawn and finished his last-minute packing. Most of the preparations he made to leave were finished before the day had come, since he wanted to be away from the dangers of Hogwarts and the Slytherin crowd as soon as possible.
For their part, it seemed as though there was a strong divide in Slytherin students and their opinion of winning the House Cup the previous night. Many of the younger students, third-year and down, seemed to take notice of Severus' recognition and regarded him with a friendly smile when they saw him. This pleasantry, unfortunately, was not shared by the older students, although surprisingly Jacob Avery didn't seem to care either way, and had given Severus a quiet nod of approval as they made their way to their dorms to rest that night.
As Severus made his way into the bathroom to shower up, he once again took note of the Mark of Apeiron on his chest, the first time he looked upon it with any idea of what it truly was.
"So now that I know what this thing is, the question is why I have it, and why Dumbledore knows about it. I can wager that he put it on me before I revived, but that doesn't explain how he learned the supposedly lost spell to begin with, nor does it tell me why would it persist if I was marked with it in death...What purpose would it even serve to place such a mark on me when all it will do is hinder me?! Is there no end to the old man's insanity?"
For the next several minutes, Severus continued to relax. The cool water flowing out of the shower head seemed to be the only thing that could calm the maelstrom of questions in his mind, not the least of which was what it would be like seeing his parents again…
Once the students were aboard the Hogwarts Express, it slowly came to life with a loud whistle as the train started its long journey for King's Cross Station in London. Severus had managed to track down an empty compartment at the rear of the train, knowing it would his only opportunity at some peace and quiet if he found one early. Many of the younger Slytherin students had poked their heads inside and asked if they could join, to which Severus had to decline each of them as politely as he could. If he were honest with himself, it was a slightly uplifting feeling, being admired by younger students. Perhaps that trend could continue to curb those who were on the fence about Slytherin's more volatile habits.
As the minutes passed, Severus merely focused on the clattering of the wheels on the track. He expected nobody to join him; Lily would be busy in the Prefect compartment for a short while, and would likely join Mary and Alice for one last meeting, Lupin would be with the other Marauders, and honestly, it was better that way. Much to his surprise, however, his best friend knocked on the door and let herself in with a cheerful wave.
"My, Sev...I half-expected Hogwarts' newest celebrity to be in a compartment full of adoring fans, not brooding to himself." Lily said, only half-teasingly.
"I'd be lying if I said they didn't try to let themselves in, but I couldn't be bothered. You know I loathe excessive noise." He said with a thin smirk
"I dunno, I think it'd be good for you to make other friends. You might really do some good for the younger students of Slytherin House if you lead by example. I'm surprised you didn't take Slughorn up on his suggestion to become a Prefect next year."
"Absolutely not. I have enough on my plate as it is, babysitting students is something I have neither the time nor the motivation for. What about your friends in Gryffindor? How did they take last night's surprising switch of the House Cup?"
"If it were for any other reason than what Dumbledore gave, I think they'd be more angry and disappointed than they are. Not even Potter found much room to argue with what he did."
"Color me surprised. Anyway, why are you here, Lily? Not that I'm displeased to see you, but I'd have thought you would be with Mary and Alice…"
"Where do you think I just came from, Sev? We've been on the tracks nearly an hour...I did want to spend more time with Alice, given that she and Frank will be starting their training soon at the Auror Office, but she, Mary, and I will be spending some time together this Summer, so a little less time wasn't so bad." Lily's voice trailed off, as her gaze fell to her hands, which were fidgeting a bit nervously. "I guess...my curiosity is getting the best of me. We're officially on Summer break now, so, I was wondering-"
Severus interrupted her with an exasperated groan. "Lily, when I said I would tell you this Summer, I didn't mean the first chance we got on the bloody train. I wanted it to be somewhere a bit more private, like our spot back in Cokeworth."
Lily shook her head, raising her right hand to stop him. "Sev, it doesn't need to be anywhere special to tell me the truth of what's been going on with you. We're out of Hogwarts now, and I know you too well to think that you haven't already casted Muffliato on this compartment just for your own privacy's sake…"
He could only stare at his friend, unable to offer a defiant look to the contrary. She was correct, after all…
"I know that whatever it is you have to tell me is going to be difficult, so that's why I wanted to start with a question...Something I've been wondering about and it might take some of the pressure off if I ask it..." Her tone grew softer as her green eyes flickered, contemplating on how best to phrase what she was about to say.
"Sev...those visions of yours that I've seen, they raised a bunch of questions in my mind. The things you say, how it seems like you know more about things than you let on, how you could change so drastically right after the Defense O.W.L...is there Seer blood in the Prince line..? Have you seen one possible future or something of that sort?"
Author's Note: My apologies for the cliffhanger. For some time now, I've been wondering how I'd approach the subject of Severus' confession to Lily, how long I'd wait, the level of surprise and disbelief she might have, so many questions and more have been flying around in my head, but the final part of this chapter I felt had to be done. Lily is not stupid. She's portrayed as a sensible, intelligent witch who is an incredibly quick learner in a world she is foreign to. And thus, with the scenario that I had up until this point, with Severus' abrupt change in attitude, the visions flying out of his head, the little verbal slip-ups he keeps making, it would be silly for Lily to have no hypothesis whatsoever for what's going on with her best friend. She'd be incredibly uncaring and unobservant if she hadn't at least formed a theory. Of course, as on-track as that theory might be, she's about to find out just how drastically worse the reality is.
On the subject of the House Cup, I knew I wanted to do something really cool with Dumbledore before we take a break from Hogwarts. Oftentimes he gets called out for Gryffindor favoritism, though I think it's more appropriate to say he has Harry favoritism. I don't think it would've mattered where Harry was sorted, the boy was always going to have the support of Dumbledore due to the nature of where his destiny was leading him. The fact that Dumbledore requests Severus to spare Draco Malfoy the soul damage of murdering him tells me that even the 'evil' Slytherin house is treated with a great deal of care by the Headmaster, and so when it comes to Severus saving Lily's life, of course that would be rewarded. It's so uncharacteristic of everything else in the House, and I think the idea of having a good role model in Slytherin, combined with his own growing curiosity of Severus would greatly lend to Dumbledore giving him those points.
Next chapter, well, I don't think I have to tell you what it's going to comprise of. It's going to be a long trip back to London for poor Severus...
As always, my thanks go out to everyone who takes the time to read and review my work. It's so important to me to see people's thoughts and feedback, so seeing such a response from so many of you is very gratifying and motivating. Please keep reviewing so I can get a better idea of seeing your theories and desires for things in future chapters!