Disclaimer: I own no rights to characters or concepts from the Harry Potter universe. No profit was made during the writing of this story.
Two days had passed since Severus and Lily arrived back in Cokeworth for the summer holiday. For Severus, the talk with Lily had been the ultimate healing experience. In his previous life, he had no true confidant to confess anything to, save perhaps Dumbledore, though there was always an emotional disconnect between the old headmaster and himself. With Lily, however, he was certain of everything the young witch had said that night, that he could truly be open and honest with her. It had a curious effect on the reborn Slytherin, to truly be free to speak whatever came to mind, to not worry about keeping certain things secret was something he had never been able to do in his entire adult life.
Once Eileen had come back inside from her chat with the Evans family, they both agreed that they would meet at their spot under the tree facing the shallow river. The very same tree that stood near the park where they first met. As a community, Cokeworth was very much separated by the river. The new neighborhood with brightly colored, brand new houses was on Lily's side of town. Whereas on Severus' side, it was very much an old, dilapidated series of identical houses for several streets. On the dividing line was the park, which made it a convenient place for the two young Hogwarts students to meet.
Tuesday afternoon arrived, and Severus sat down under the shade of the tree. He blended in rather well, with a simple gray T-shirt and black pants, both transfigured from the unfashionable, much-too-large rags that Tobias had thrown his way over the years. Even when dressed in ordinary clothes that actually fit him, Severus favored monochromatic colors.
It had been many years since Severus visited this location, not counting the imitation in the Room of Requirement. Too many scarred memories of the past meant that it wasn't a place he could find any comfort in during his adult life. Now, however, the young man was able to scan the area with a newfound peace. He saw the swingset that Lily had flown off of when he first saw her, and recalling that memory left a thin smile on his lips.
"Now THAT is a sight worthy of the front page of the Daily Prophet. Severus Snape smiles on his own!"
Severus turned his head to the side, and was immediately dumbfounded at the sight of Lily. Her flowing hair was decorated with a pair of braided pigtails. She wore a light green summer dress which was a vibrant compliment to her red hair, and white, platform sandals. Still hanging around her neck was the bright vial of green liquid. Seeing Lily dressed in her casual style left his cheeks slightly tinged red, before he turned back away from her gaze.
"Forgive me. I've been cursing these silly teenage hormones ever since I woke up that day at the lake."
The soft sound of the grass crunching told Severus that Lily had taken a seat next to him, though he didn't want to embarrass either of them by staring at her.
"If that was supposed to be a compliment on how I look, it was the saddest attempt I've ever heard, Severus." Lily teased. "I dunno how I'm supposed to take it...honestly, I'm not even sure how old I should consider you. Your body is my age, but your mind's 38, should I be calling you Mr. Snape?"
"Call me whatever you wish. It's bound to be better than Professor Snape." Severus snorted, shaking his head.
Lily's eyes widened, her mouth agape. "No way...you?! A teacher at Hogwarts?!"
The silence that hung after Lily's question seemed to serve as answer enough, and within seconds, she fell backwards onto the grass, giggling uncontrollably. "Oh, Merlin! Those poor first years! The moment they realized what they were in for when they first entered your class! Sev, tell me, and be honest, just how terrified of you were the poor things?"
"I did what I had to do to promote a no-nonsense style, even more than McGonagall. Potions have plenty of risks; if they didn't follow my instructions to the letter, then the whole classroom could've been blown up." Severus sighed, waving off Lily's bubbly attempt to poke fun at him.
After a few moments of continued laughter, Lily finally managed to regain her composure and sat back up. "Wait...Potions? I guess that makes sense that you'd be qualified for that, but...what happened to Professor Slughorn?"
"Retired just about the time that I started. Potions actually wasn't my first choice, that went to Defense. Though looking at the slew of teachers we had over the years, I suppose I should have thanked Dumbledore for that." Severus added, recalling the supposedly cursed teaching post of Defense Against the Dark Arts.
"It still doesn't make any sense though. I know you have the ability; I saw it with Mary. But you're far too impatient with most other people to make even a half-decent teacher." Lily folded her arms and looked at Severus somewhat accusingly. "Why would you ever want to become a Hogwarts Professor?"
"I didn't want to. It was the only avenue Dumbledore offered me while still being able to keep an eye on me. He wasn't certain of my change of heart until…the day you died."
"The other me." Lily corrected, looking at Severus softly. "Remember, Sev...everything is different now. And that starts with the fact that you don't need to spy or teach anymore. Technically speaking, I suppose you don't have to go back to Hogwarts either...you're plenty qualified to graduate early."
"That isn't an option." Severus shook his head dismissively. "Even if I'm not a spy in this life, I still have to keep up appearances. I've already raised enough red flags as it is, taking N.E.W.T.s early would only give the Death Eaters another reason to come knocking. I can't fight them until I'm absolutely certain of what needs to be done to end this war before it comes to a head. Not to mention...I'm none too keen on the idea of leaving you alone at Hogwarts after the night at the Astronomy Tower."
Lily nodded her head, though the mention of the attempt on her life caused goosebumps to form on her arms, and Severus could hear a slight shiver from her.
"Still having the nightmares?" he asked, huddling a little closer and wrapping an arm around her. Lily didn't give an audible response, only a slight mumble and eventually a nod. "It's not easy...the first time someone tries to kill you."
"It's not even that…" Lily shuddered, leaning a little more closely to Severus, her head resting gently on his shoulder. "I don't have nightmares about the time Rosier tortured me. I suppose it's the fact that I don't even know who did it. The fact that Polyjuice Potion was involved...it could be anybody in Slytherin. They might have graduated, but for some reason I doubt it. Any Slytherin I see, besides you, I'll have to wonder whether they're going to try to kill me, or if they just came to insult the unworthy Muggleborn-."
"You're plenty worthy." Severus interrupted. "That's why I'm going back. None of them are going to hurt you. That, and I need to talk to Dumbledore again."
"Again? Didn't he answer the question you had about your magic? You've been casting quite regularly since talking to him...have you had some problems since coming home?"
Severus was silent for a few seconds, trying to find a way to explain the nature of how his magic was functioning since his rebirth. After another moment of Lily's questioning gaze, he stood up, leaving her more bewildered. He decided it would make an easier explanation if he showed her.
"Sev? Where are you...wha?!" She was taken completely off guard when Severus quickly removed his gray t-shirt, exposing his body. It wasn't a sickly pale, but it was definitely not a warm skin tone. More pressing to Lily, however, was the sight of the numerous scars and wounds all over his flesh.
"N-no...please...don't tell me that your father did all of this to you…" Lily gasped, slowly rising up to her feet to meet Severus, though her request was more rhetorical than anything. She knew full-well everything Tobias had done, having witnessed the memories. The young witch was unable to stop herself from reaching out and gently touching the worst scar, the one just below his shoulder. "That's not an ordinary cut…What did that monster do, whip you like an animal..?!"
Severus, on the other hand, was starting to feel uncomfortable. It had not been his intent to have Lily feeling sorry for him, and it was complicated further by the cool touch of her soft hand on his chest. It was a touch more tender than any of his boyhood fantasies could fathom, but he brushed it off quickly. "Lily, focus. Not on the scars, but on this." He took her hand and gently placed it right below his heart...highlighting the mysterious Mark of Apeiron.
"What...in Merlin's name is that supposed to be?! Some kind of...tattoo, or rune?"
"This is the key to all of the problems I've been having since I was reborn. It's a bit of a long story, though…"
For nearly an hour, Severus told Lily everything he knew about the mark: its history as told to him by Professor Babbling, the effects it was having on him, and the obvious truth that Dumbledore knew more than he had let on about it. Lily had been silent during his entire explanation, content to let Severus tell her the fascinating tale of the ancient wizard. He also explained to her of his talent and reliance on Occlumency, which was met with an annoyed, albeit worried expression on her face when she fully understood what it was.
Once he was finished, he finally turned away, looking towards the playground. "It's almost like my emotions are dictating the magic. Sometimes I can only steer it certain directions if the bloody feelings overwhelm me, like the incident with Avery and the time I apparated out of the train. Sometimes I can actually control it completely if I focus without my Occlumency, but it requires certain triggers...things or people that I feel strongly about. The night I flew and caught you was probably the best example. But it's not like it was before I died, when I had complete control over my abilities, and until I find a way to get this mark off, I'm not certain I'll be able to reliably win a duel with a Death Eater…So you see, I rather need to have Dumbledore to take it off, or find out how to myself."
Lily had been looking at the mark on his bare chest for quite some time, obviously thinking very carefully as Severus explained himself. "Have you considered the fact that your emotion isn't a weakness, Sev? The day at the lake...sure, you were angry, but you completely let loose. You could have outclassed anybody that day, not just Rosier. Why are you so eager to get rid of the mark? Why not just learn more about how it affects you and surpass your old limits? Don't shut out your emotions so much."
"You're missing the point. If I let my emotions rule me, and dictate my abilities, then I'm at their mercy. I could cast spells completely by accident during times that don't call for magic. I could be in a duel, but what if my emotions aren't particularly intense at the moment? I'm the one who will be outclassed. That isn't something that either of us can afford."
Lily just shook her head, the giggle from earlier returning. "If anyone is missing the point, it's you, Sev. I'm not asking you to let your emotions rule you, to let your magic be some out-of-control force of nature that comes and goes. I'm saying that you should master them. Going back to the way you were able to handle life before, shut behind some walls in your mind, is not going to help you grow as a person. If Dumbledore IS the one who gave you this mark, and it somehow carried over from the afterlife to here, then maybe it was his way of teaching you something one last time."
After a few moments of considering Lily's words, the young Severus chuckled quietly. "You've always been one to look for brightness in even the worst situations. I'm amazed that all of this talk of how bleak the future is going to be hasn't ripped that out of you yet."
Lily puffed her cheeks, making her best attempt at imitating Severus' trademark scowl. "Ten points from Slytherin for your dunderheaded remark. How sorry it is for such a talent to languish in his own quagmire of self-pity and doubt. My apologies, I misspoke. Make that twenty points from Slytherin. Just for the girly design of that tattoo you've got. Pray that I don't curse it off." Her voice was a humorous attempt at his slow, deliberate speech pattern, several octaves lower, until she burst into a fit of laughter, unable to keep her composure anymore..
The girl's silliness was contagious, and Severus' thin smile actually started to widen, and within moments, he was laughing alongside her. The sight was enough to make Lily stop and look at him with wonder in her eyes. Truthfully, she couldn't remember the last time she had ever seen Severus laugh with any carefree sincerity. It was always a sarcastic snort or chuckle, but seeing him like this was a first for her.
Once Lily stopped laughing, Severus silenced himself, looking at her with a curious expression.
"Whatever it was you just felt, Sev...embrace it. Learn to call upon it, and all of your other strong emotions. Kind of like a Patronus. Can you cast one of those? A real one, I mean."
"I can." Severus answered simply, recalling the silver doe the last time he had seen her. From time to time, in the final days of his previous life, he had summoned her just to look into her ethereal eyes, needing that to muster the strength to continue his mission.
"Good, so you're already familiar with the idea...you just need to do it all the time when you try to cast, not just with a Patronus. What was yours? A dragon? Bat? A raven, perhaps?" she questioned excitedly.
He shook his head, pulling his shirt back over his body. "That, Lily, is one secret that I don't plan on telling you. I would prefer to show you, when the time comes."
"That's a deal!" She nodded with a grin. "Maybe if I see you cast one...it might help push mine in the right direction to become a real Patronus as well."
"You seem to have a rather vivid idea of how all of Apeiron's magic works, despite the man being dead for some two thousand years. How can you have confidence in any of what you're telling me, Lily?"
"I don't need to have confidence in him. You, Sev, are what I believe in. From the moment you caught me that night...and flew in the sky like nobody wizardkind has ever seen, that was the day I realized that you could do anything."
Severus cut in to Lily's praise, needing to confess the truth of his ability to fly. "Lily...I don't think you want to know where I learned that spell from. I didn't invent it, though technically speaking I believe I'm the only one in this time period that knows it."
"I don't care where you learned it anymore, Severus. Honestly, I think I can fathom a guess...but here's the thing. I'm in no position to tell you how to act or what to do with the talents you've built up. That much is obvious now that I know the truth about you. The most important thing is how you choose to use it, and every other talent you have gained, and like I said. I believe in you…"
That endearing remark had an immediate effect on Severus, causing his blushing to return just as intensely as before. "You really should choose your words more carefully around me. If I can't use occlumency to block out these stupid thoughts, then I surely don't need you encouraging them, whether you intend to or not. Dumbledore was right. Someone like me in the body of a teenager...it'd be amusing if it weren't so pathetic."
Lily's gaze sharpened for a moment, remembering her conversation with Mary on the platform earlier in the week. She also recalled the memory with Severus shared with her, the one with Dumbledore, and the words the old wizard used to answer all of the remaining questions Lily had about her friend's feelings. With a dismissive shake of her head, she released Severus from the eye contact and looked at the old swing set fondly.
"You may have 38 years of experience in life, but you still have the emotional stability of a teenager. That's been clear ever since you told me the truth on the train. So no. I don't think I will call you Mr. Snape, Sir, Professor, or any other silly name. You're just going to stay Sev to me…my dearest, 16-year old Slytherin friend. Shed your old skin, Sev...and grow into a real man, with me by your side this time around.
"Which brings me to my next question. Mum and Dad have asked about you constantly ever since we got back...Do you and your Mum have any plans tonight, or would you like to come over for dinner?"
"Actually, I took her to London this morning. I scrounged up enough money from my school funds for her to stay at the Leaky Cauldron for a few nights, since she's been insisting about finding a job in Diagon Alley. Mum really wants to get back in touch with the magical world after all these years."
"That's great! But...does that mean you're staying at your house alone?"
Lily's question was met with an immediate nod of Severus' head. He had an idea of where this was going.
"That won't do at all...Why don't you come over and stay after dinner? I know my parents would love to see you, and wouldn't mind putting you up for the night."
Author's Note: Some more of the big talk that Sev and Lily had over his previous life. Much more relaxed and pleasant in nature than the first one, which was a nice relief because I was afraid my writing style was making it turn into some kind of angst story. Next chapter will feature the formal introduction to Jasper and Dahlie Evans!
Regarding the Severus/Lily pairing and how most time travel fanfictions handle it, I kind of wanted to touch on the element of age difference, and how in this case, Lily justifies it to herself, more for simplicity and convenience sake, that even though he's lived longer, there are still a great many pieces of Severus that need to grow up properly. So, while this is not an actual start to any romantic relationship, (I'm still trying to keep some mystery and tension for the future with regards to pairings! Sorry folks!) it opens the door in such a way that I feel isn't so creepy or odd with over 20 years of an age gap, even if he's in his teenage body again.
Please, please, PLEASE keep those reviews coming! The most detailed reviews are the ones that put the biggest smiles on my face and make the hours of writing worth it for me, so if you have something you wish to discuss or ponder in your review, please do so!
I never really got the opportunity to celebrate the one-year anniversary of when I started writing this series, but with 420 followers and 270 favorites, and nearly 70k reads, I'm very happy at how you all have received it! Thanks again, write your reviews, and I hope to get the next chapter up for you all soon!