Chapter 2

Slowly, Jack was beginning to ease his way into life at Seattle Grace. Half the staff was so busy with the hustle and turnover at one of the three busiest hospitals in the country that none of them had recognized him; the other half was so busy with their own stuff that they hadn't even processed who he was. Occasionally, he would get the odd glance from a patient who thought that they had seen him on TV, but most of the time he was able to laugh it off. This wasn't LA after all.

For the most part, he had remained a closed book, not revealing anything about his past to anyone. It helped that very few people bothered him about it, and there was enough trauma to keep everyone busy.

Then, one shift, Thatcher Grey, the father of one of the surgical residents and one of the interns showed up in the emergency room, completely plastered. This wouldn't have been an issue for Jack, except that day O'Malley and Lexie Grey were covering the ER with him, and Meredith was in the process of treating him.

By now, Jack had picked up enough gossip to know what had happened between the two half-sisters, and what was going on now. He knew that even though the two were in the same hospital, he hadn't seen them exchange more than a sentence that didn't involve another patient's treatment. So when Meredith came to Lexie and told her that she actually was enjoying her father more when he was drunk, her rather spectacular explosion was something that most people would've turned away from. He realized that there was a fissure here that was widening greater with every day, and if somebody didn't at least make an effort, it would become a huge mess for the hospital.

He knew that Meredith's typical way of handling these kinds of things- which seemed to happen at this hospital far more frequently than would be considered normal- was to compartmentalize them, by getting buried in work or sneaking into the lounge for a roll in the hay with the other Dr. Shepherd. So he decided to try and handle things a little differently, and asked Lexie to come to his office before her shift ended.

Lexie was, in typical fashion, very apologetic the moment she stepped into his office, saying that she knew how unprofessional she had behaved and that she was willing to submit to any disciplinary methods you may desire. "That came out far less sadomasochistic in my head, Dr. Shephard."

"I'm not going to demand any kind of reprimand, Dr. Grey, because as far as I'm concerned, you did nothing wrong." Jack began.

"I yelled at a resident in the middle of her work."

"You yelled at your sister while you father was battling one of the nastiest hangovers I've seen," Jack paused. "And I'm guessing by your reaction, that was a very light day."

"You're an expert in dealing with drunken fathers?" Lexie said.

Jack hoped the grimace on his face wasn't visible for very long. "As a matter of fact, I am." He swallowed. "What I'm about to tell you isn't exactly public knowledge, so I'd prefer if- "

Lexie nodded.

"My father was one of the best spinal surgeons in the world. He was also one of the hardest drinkers I've ever seen. The main difference that seem to between yours and mines was that he was a lot better at hiding it then yours is." He hesitated. "Except from those of us who knew better."

He had Lexie's full attention. "The last time he ever operated, a woman who was pregnant died on the table. He was so drunk that one of the OR nurse paged me. I came into the operating room just in time to see him shred her aorta."

"He persuaded everybody on the staff that he was okay, that nothing could be done. He even persuaded me, and I knew better." He paused. He'd never even told this to Kate. "So at the m and m conference, I told the truth. I did the right thing. And it essentially killed him."

Lexie almost jumped out of her seat. "Your father's dead?"

"He flew to Australia and went on the bender to end all benders. He hated me so much he went halfway around the globe to die." Jack hesitated. That was as far as he was willing to go.

"I'm sorry, I really am."

Jack was actually relieved to hear this; the fact that she hadn't known this meant that she didn't know his big secret. "Thank you, but that's not the point of this story. My father died before we could resolve our issues. Now maybe we never could've, but there was always a chance. Your father's still alive. He may be doing a lousy job at it, but he's still there. Someone has to try." He thought for a second, then plunged ahead. "I'm guessing that Meredith won't, so you have to be the bigger person."

"Some of things he calls me have been pretty horrible," she told him.

"It's not the stuff that he says when he's drunk that you have to worry about," he prodded. "It's what they say when they're sober. From the look of Thatcher, he hasn't been that way in a while."

Lexie had the good grace to look ashamed. "You can't help someone until they want to help themselves. They told us that the first day."

"I know," he admitted. "You just need to hold on, and not give up on him. I made that mistake with my father, and it was one of the biggest ones that I ever made. Just keep that in mind."

Lexie considered this. "And my sister?"

"Don't ask me; I'm an only child." He would come to regret telling her this a couple of months later. "Try to handle it as best you can. In the meantime, you're probably better off not being around her for the next few rotations."

"Thank you, Dr. Shephard."

Jack didn't expect any instant solution. He knew that his lesson might only last until Thatcher called his youngest daughter a pretentious bitch again. More to the point, he thought telling the story might exorcise some of the ghosts that he still had rattling around. He didn't know that there was still more trouble to come.

The argument between the Grey sisters was a gossip subject for a couple of days at the hospital, but it had been relatively modest compared to the next big thing - Izzie Stevens and Callie Torres nearly having a throwdown in the cafeteria.. Jack had been in surgery at the time, as had a couple others of the attendings, but enough people witnessed it to make it a big problems for a few hours. Jack was a little surprised to find that Stevens had started the thing- based on body mass alone, he thought Callie could've broken the blonde in two without even breaking a sweat- but the far bigger shock came when he learned the reason- Stevens had apparently slept with Callie's husband, George.

Jack had gotten to know Torres that well yet, and he knew, that if he were to go the sheer superficiality of looks, Stevens was the kind of woman that men cheated on their wives with. He knew that George, while very good to work with, had often been in a brown study when he had tried to work with it. Since Jack had never been an especially good teacher, he had made the assumption that this basically was his fault. Now he could see what part of the problem was.

Again, as with Lexie a couple of days earlier, he mulled whether he should consider getting involved- it wasn't like he was that he was much more skilled in the ways of love. Then again, from what he managed to gather in his first days at Seattle Grace, no one in the staff of this hospital had much more skill at that. (Sex was another matter, but he decided to try and avert his eyes when it came to that.) After a couple of straight shifts when it became clear that George just wasn't concentrating that well at work, he decided that, just as he had with Lexie, he decided to at least try. Being an outsider might help in this case.

He called in George to his office an hour before his next shift began on what he said was work related matters. At first, he considered going in subtly, then he remembered how blunt people like Bailey and Hahn were, and decided on the direct approach. "Did they actually comes to blows?" he asked after George was seated..

"I wasn't there," George decided to be direct to. "But Callie isn't the kind of woman who starts fights. I can't believe she would've started one over this."

"All the same, two women fighting over you," Jack couldn't help but channel Sawyer for a moment. "It's always the quiet ones."

"I never meant for this to happen, Dr. Shephard," George told him. "I had a whirlwind courtship with Callie, and I really thought she was the one, but Izzie's my best friend, and she seemed to have feelings for me, and then we did tequila shots and we somehow wound up in bed together, and everything just spun out of control, and now-"

He went on like this for nearly a minute- which for George O'Malley was something close to a filibuster. Even given the kind of daytime soap quality this hospital seemed to have, Jack was a little surprised that this kind of mess was following George, of all people. But it was clear that he had been carrying this with him for sometime, and sometimes venting did help.

"I don't know what to do anymore, Dr. Shephard. I mean, all this on top of having to repeat my first year." George told them.

"I'm literally the last person in the hospital you should turn to for romantic advice," Jack told him. "My marriage lasted less than a year, and I wasn't even the one who committed adultery."

That had been a little more than he had wanted to reveal, and it had sounded pretty cold coming from him. Guess I have to work on how I behave with my interns, too.

"The last thing I wanted to do was hurt anybody," George replied, doggedly.

"Someone's going to get hurt no matter what," Jack told them. "What it comes down to is, who is worth staying with. And you would know better than I who that is."

George seemed to be considering this for a moment, seriously. Then he looked at Jack. "You're not really helping me."

Jack actually chuckled a bit at this. "I may be good at fixing people, but I learned the hard way that there are some things that I'm not qualified to operate on." He sobered up. "I've been willing to grant you a little latitude because of your situation, but I don't know them the way that you do. And if Dr. Weber forces me, I have to follow the chain of command."

"What does that have to do with-"

"Couple of times, Weber has been asking the attendings if Callie has been pulling her weight as chief. Says she's been distracted." Jack said slowly. "He doesn't know why. Almost everybody else does. We've been covering, but..."

"You do know there have been issues like this at Seattle Grace before," George pointed out "Why is no one reaming out Dr. Montgomery or the other Dr. Shepherd?"

Jack didn't know enough about the situation at the hospital beyond the gossip, but he knew that anywhere other than Seattle Grace, Derek Shepherd and Mark Sloan would've been fired, and Meredith and Christina would've been held back, if not kicked out of the program. But he'd been here long enough to know that the ethics codes that seemed to apply to other hospitals didn't seem remotely in play here. It was, if he'd been honest, part of the reason he'd been attracted to this hospital in the first place.

"I don't envy the situation you're in," he told George instead. "But the fact is, you're the only one who can fix it. And I'd do it before someone's career gets tanked in the process."

For a moment, he thought that he had gone to far. But George sat silently for a few more moments, then told him: "I'll do what I can, but no promises." Then he got up and left.

This time, the ramifications from Jack's speech would be felt a lot quicker than his intervention with Lexie Grey. Unfortunately, the end results would not be nearly as pleasant. Within the next three days, Callie Torres would resign as chief resident. He tried not to hear the gossip that spread through the halls, but it soon became clear that George and Callie's marriage would be even shorter than Jack's, and even less amicable a separation.

Under other circumstances, Jack's first reaction would've been: This is my fault. God knew it had been his go-to response whenever something had gone wrong with his situation, especially on the island. But he quickly realized that despite the fact that George was currently his intern, there were a lot more people in his life who had a greater influence on his actions, most of whom had been here a whole lot longer.

Still, he decided that from this point on, he'd stick to fixing people in the ER, the one place where he could keep the fear out.

ALBEQUERQUE, NEW MEXICO

PHILIPS RESIDENCE

Compared to everyone else, James Ford had to undergo the most changes ever since he had returned to civilization. He hadn't had nearly as big a rap sheet as Kate had, but it had been close. Fortunately for him, ever since his sentence had been commuted, he had managed to stay off the radar of the police for the last couple of years.

He had considered going on the run himself after the Oceanics had resurfaced, knowing that the celebrity attention would just cause the cops to look more closely at him. But he understood the law a lot better than Kate had, and knew that the statute of limitations had run out on the majority of the cons that he had committed. And considering what had happened with the actual Sawyer, he no longer felt the urge to go forward with any more of them. After all, Anthony Cooper was dead, and he assuredly would not be missed. He had considered going after Hibbs for sending him on the run that had landed him in Australia in the first place, but he figured, hell, if it hadn't been for him, he would never have been able to satisfy his lifelong goal. Maybe that did make up for the Tampa job.

Like Jack, it had caused him a world of hurt when Kate ran for the border, but he had not been nearly as surprised. Kate ran. It was what she'd done all her life, and nothing that had happened on the island could change that. He had recovered a lot quicker than Jack had, though. And even he had been surprised by the reason why.

Considering how hostile their relationship had been on the island, no one, not even James himself, could've expected that he would've ended up in a relationship with Juliet. The woman was an Other, had held a gun to his head on more than one occasion, and had, time after time, been one of the few people who had called him on his bullshit. Paradoxically, though, that had been one of the reasons he had found himself intrigued by her- none of the people he had gotten close to - not even Kate - had ever known him as well as she had. Granted, she had gotten the majority of his information on her from a file (and Lord knows where the hell that had come from), but not having to lie about everything was refreshing. Honestly, he'd never done it with anyone in his life.

Since he hadn't had any roots but he still felt rather tied to the south, he had eventually gone back to Alabama. Within a week, he had gone to visit Juliet in Miami, where she had returned to be with her sister and her nephew. Eventually, they had formed something close to a friendship, and now, it was turning into something of a romantic one as well. He was surprised to find that Rachel had approved of their relationship - James had never been the kind of woman you brought home to your family (unless, of course, said family had a shitload of cash.)

Finally, after several months had passed, and the final payment from Oceanic had arrived, he gathered his nerve to tell Juliet that there was something he needed to do. Something that he'd been avoiding dealing with. He had expected scorn, and was surprised to find that there was support and even pride when he had told her what he had in mind.

Which had brought them, more or less, to here. Juliet, who had empathized with his need for privacy, hadn't even objected when they had wanted to drive from Miami to New Mexico (even though it would just be over the land, James was nowhere near ready to get back on an airplane again). However, considering that she had seemed to know every detail of his life, including why he had been in prison, who had sent him there, and how he had gotten out, James was more than a little shocked to find out that she didn't know he was a father.

"You honestly weren't even curious?" he asked her as they drove the final couple of miles.

"Honestly, by the time we first met, I had long since gotten tired of knowing chapter and verse of everybody on your plane." she admitted. "Being an Other was exhausting. One of the many, many reasons I'm glad we're off that island. Some of the things were just your business."

"Well, you're about to find out where that info came from," James took a deep breath. "We're here."

Considering all the places he'd been held in all his life, he didn't know why this simple little structure seemed so imposing. Juliet sensed his uneasiness. "You're sure you want me to come with you, James? She may not be wild to see you, let alone some stranger."

"I didn't have the nerve to see my daughter before everything that happened. And Cassidy had every reason to hate my guts when she told me about," he swallowed a little "my daughter. If I don't have someone who believes in me when I knock on that door, I'm gonna turn tail, and drive until I hit the canyon."

"All right then." She unlocked the passenger side door. "Here we go."

They walked up to the front door, Juliet standing a little behind him, almost as if to prop him up. It still took him nearly thirty seconds standing there before he found the nerve to ring the doorbell.

Cassidy opened it. She didn't slam the door in his face, but the first word out of her mouth was not encouraging. "Sonofabitch."

"I guess, you now know why I haven't gotten back to you in the last year," he said slowly.

"You know, when the story broke about Oceanic, I actually wanted to brag that I knew somebody on that flight. Could've gotten my fifteen minutes. Especially when I told the world what a bastard like you was being called a hero." Cassidy told him in a tone that was just as measured but far more venomous. "Who's the blonde? Your latest mark? Does she know what a prick she's hanging out with?"

"Actually, I know James a lot better than you'd think," Juliet told her.

"James. You know, I only learned his real name when he went to prison."

"You should know that. You're the one who sent me there." A bit of the old Sawyer was in his voice, but he tamped it down. "Look, much as it would probably make you feel better, I didn't come here to fight."

Cassidy considered this for a couple of moments more. "Last thing I want is a crowd building up," she said as she opened the door.

"Since I know that you're not here to exchange fond memories of our relationship, it begs the question, why?"

She wasn't even going to ask them to settle down. James could hardly blame her. Well, he had never been one to be subtle. "The only time you came to visit me in the slammer was when you told me about my daughter." He took a deep breath. "How is Clementine?"

For the first time since she'd opened the door, Cassidy softened a little. "She's doing good. Going to be starting nursery school in a month. All the other kids have to keep up with her."

Now that he had finally gotten her to talk about her, James now realized he had next to no idea what kind of questions to ask about a toddler. "She healthy? Walking and talking all right?"

"She's been doing fine. Had the chicken pox six months ago, but that's about it." Suddenly her mother got very protective. "But since when do you care? When I told you about her, you said wanted nothing to do with her."

James decided not to tell her he had gone to a hell of a lot of trouble to make sure that his daughter had gotten a fairly healthy trust fund when he had conned his way out of prison. Indeed, from the sound of her mother's voice, it was beginning to look like she'd never gotten it. "This may come as a helluva shock to you, but you don't survive an experience like I did, and not have it change you a little. I've been trying to get my life in order, ever since I got back to civilization. Put right what I did wrong. And you were the biggest thing that I felt guilty over. I'm hoping that there's some way that we can clean the slate."

Cassidy was silent for a long time, long enough for him to think that he just might be getting through to her. Then her eyes clouded over and her face hardened. "You want to know the damnedest thing, Sawyer? A few months after you stole my life savings, I ran into this girl. Her car was being towed into a gas station where I was trying to run a score of my own. We got to talking, went to a local bar, and it turned out, she was on the run from the law herself."

It couldn't be. He refrained from commenting.

"Apparently, her stepfather had been abusing her mother. She killed him, and set her mom up for life. Then her mom called the marshal and turned her in. She risked her freedom to try and find out why. I decided to help her, though I really wish that I hadn't. Turned out that her mom somehow still loved this abusive bastard, and could never forgive her."

Now Juliet had gone still. "Who was this woman?"

" Ask James. Her name was Kate Austen. Small world, isn't it?"

This hurt in a way that Kate's disappearing had not managed to. "Why are you telling me this?"

"Once we were done. she asked me if I could ever forgive the man who stole my life savings. I asked her if she could ever forgive her mother. Our questions both had the same answer then." She turned her steely glance to James. "What the hell makes you think the answer has changed now?"

James had a lot of bravado in him, but as many of the people on the island- particularly Kate- had found out - it was mostly just a front. Whatever force he could put up pretty much wilted away to nothing. But damn it, this was his daughter.

He was about to put up one last argument, when suddenly he heard the faintest little sound pop up. "Momma?"

All three of their heads spun around, but Cassidy, no doubt because she was used to it, reacted the quickest. "I guess you woke up."

"Who they?" Cassidy pointed to James.

"No one important. They were just leaving." Cassidy's eyes never left her daughter. "Right."

That finally deflated what was left of James' nerve. "Sorry to trouble you, Miss Phillips. We'll be leaving."

He thought that he had moved quickly, but it just wasn't fast enough.

For a horrible moment, James thought that he was going to shed a tear, something he didn't think he'd done since his parents funeral.

"I don't think I've ever seen you give up that fast."

He had barely noticed Juliet leave with him,. "You heard her. She doesn't want shit to do with me. Given how I turned her life to shit, can't say that I really blame her."

"You got out of prison four years ago. You were roaming the country all those years before Oceanic and you never thought once of visiting Clementine?"

Juliet had always had the better of him. It was clear that was why he was falling in love with her. "I ruined her life, Jule. You really think she would hired a brass band if I'd come back before with flowers and chocolates?"

"There are ways you can make it up to her, James." Juliet reminded him. "Lest you forget, that was part of the reason you made this 3000 mile drive. And I don't think things are as dark as all that."

"She didn't give me ten minutes."

"She didn't slam the door in your face, and she let you see her daughter. Honestly, when you told me about this trip, I didn't think that either of those would happen."

A little smile appear on James' face. "Well, then why did you come on this cross country trek?"

"Moral support. Honestly, James, how long has it been since somebody believed in you?" Then before things could get too serious, she added. "And the chance to order room service."

"All right, Miss Manners, now that she's seen me, is there any way that I can get back in my daughter's life?"

"Damn it, Jim, I'm a doctor, not a guidance counselor." That actually got him to chuckle for the first time since they had entered the state of New Mexico. "Seriously, there may be some way to back in with your daughter, but I think you're going to need to be subtle to do it."

"And what might that be?"

"You're going to need help from your friends first."