Remus kept his promise to Lily. And although there was every reason for him to run to James positively bursting with the news, Lily knew he would not. "He's got enough on his plate anyway," Remus said darkly, before returning to his friends' compartment that day.

The truth was, after James's father died, Remus was not at all sure that the news would matter much to James. He had not spoken of Lily all summer, his typical exuberance had been subdued by grief, and James spent the first several weeks of the summer withdrawn in a listless silence that caused Remus, Sirius, and Peter great concern.

Eventually, he began to occupy himself with convincing his mother that Sirius ought to keep a permanent residence in their home. Though Sirius had all but moved in by the second year, Mrs. Potter was reluctant to take part in separating Sirius so officially from his family. But deep down she agreed with James and Sirius that conditions in the Black Manor had become far too unpleasant.

While moving his things into a spare room, Sirius was shocked to find two open letters from Lily on the desk, one promising to keep him in her thoughts during this difficult time and asking whether there was anything she could do, and one telling him that they had accidentally swapped their Transfiguration books in the last lesson, and not to worry in case he was missing his heavily annotated edition.

Normally, James not only wrote to Lily at least once a week during the summer, but in the event that she replied, Remus, Peter, and Sirius were treated to an owl post play-by-play and were forced to listen to James's interpretations of even the simplest of Lily's words, like what it meant that Lily had written, "You, Potter, are one of my least favorite people at Hogwarts," rather than "You are my least favorite person in the history of the universe."

These letters, however, had not come up in conversation at all, and it seemed that Lily had initiated communication in both cases.

Sirius took this to mean James had either given up on Lily or was at least determined to give that impression, and Sirius was happy to comply.

The summer was uneventful for Lily. She had exchanged owls several times with Maggie, Alice, Libby, and Remus, and was surprised to observe the lack of cocky albeit cheerful letters from James Potter.

Truthfully, it was a lonely summer. Where she normally spent her afternoons with Severus, Lily filled her time reading over her spellbooks and perusing Muggle romance novels, a guilty pleasure of hers. It was not until August that she received an unexpected owl:

Lily,

I have given things a lot of thought and am having a terrible time with all of this. Please meet me tonight, 7 o'clock, by the stream. I only wish to talk. Please. A reply is not necessary. I will be there. I hope you'll come.

SS

At first, having made up her mind weeks ago, Lily thought no good could come from meeting Severus and hearing what he had to say. But the truth was, she missed him. Ignoring the voice in her head telling her she'd regret it, she decided to comply with Severus's wish.

He was already there when she arrived, sitting on a fallen tree and staring at the stream with a blank look in his flat black eyes. She felt immediately foolish; what more could possibly be said between them?

Seeming to sense her presence, Severus looked up at her. Ever since the summer after their first year, Lily always found it strange to see him outside Hogwarts, in Muggle dress. He sported a pair of wear-worn jeans and a plain gray t-shirt, and he had evidently cut his usually long black hair so that it barely fell past his ears.

"Lily," he said in surprise. He stood up, his eyes wide with nervousness. "You came."

When he spoke, his bottom lip caught her attention. It was swollen and purple, and when he noticed her looking at it he sucked it into his mouth self consciously.

"What happened?"

"Oh, it's nothing. Just…you know. Dad gets…"

Lily had decided to remain cold during this meeting, in hopes that it would make the truth of their situation—the hopelessness of their friendship—easier on them both. But the moment she saw this, she could not help feeling warm toward him, remembering her old friend Severus Snape and how easy he was to talk and relate to. She felt angry, as she often had, at his father, just as Severus had often felt angry at Petunia.

Lily walked purposefully toward him and hugged him brusquely, immediately backing away afterward. "Are you alright?"

"Fine," he mumbled, his cheeks glowing with color now. "And you?"

"Not bad," she said. There was an awkward pause. "I'm really sorry things had to turn out this way."

"But they don't have to be this way," he said.

"Severus…" she said warningly. "We've talked about this. I don't know what else there is to say."

"Lily, listen. Ever since…from the first…you and I, we've…you've been my best friend. And…and…" It was clear that Severus had rehearsed this, but in his nervousness actually facing Lily, he fumbled his words. Still, he had tried to inject purpose and determination into each stuttering syllable. "I dunno how I can just…move on from that…and…can't we…?"

Before he finished whatever it was he was trying to say, Lily sighed, "Oh, Severus. I do miss you too. I just don't know where we can go from here."

Severus took a step nearer to her, seeming to have drawn strength from hearing her say she missed him. "I know you don't like my friends. But why does that mean you can't still be my friend? Lily, I'd—I'd ditch them all for…I don't care about…"

She was blushing now, but regained her composure and said, "But you won't. I know how it makes you feel, being friends with people like that. I've seen it in your face. I saw it in your face two months ago. Thank God James showed up, or who knows—"

"James?" Snape spluttered, revolted to hear Lily refer to the person he so hated by his given name. "He's James now, is he? Is that what this is about? Because if it is, Lily—"

"No," she said firmly. "Of course not! You know how I feel about some of the things you've been involving yourself with. Some of the people, your aspirations—everything!"

"And you prefer Potter, do you? Going around with his stupid mates acting like he owns the—"

"My God, Severus, you are obsessed with James Potter! I know he's been rotten to you, I know that, but he hasn't got anything to do with this! I shouldn't have mentioned his name," she said, regretting her choice of words earlier. "I should have known it would touch a nerve."

"You think just because he likes to stick his nose in other people's—"

"From what I heard about what happened this past June, Severus, it was you going around sticking your nose in other people's business! And what happened? He saved you! I know you hate him and you'll never be best mates, but just leave it alright? Deep down, he's not a bad person."

"And what about me?" Snape demanded, sounding rather childish. "You're judging me based on the company I keep. What about us? Our friendship?"

"Our friendship?" laughed Lily harshly. "Our friendship that includes you looking embarrassed every time you're with me and one of your disgusting, evil little mates turns up? Our friendship where you call me Mudblood?" Severus tried to interject here, but Lily talked over him. "Our friendship where you refuse to even try to get on with the people I like and spend my time with? They were willing to be friends, they figured if I saw something in you, even if you didn't get along with some of their other mates, you must be alright. Libby and Alice and Maggie…"

"Libby," Snape spat, "Another one of Potter's little Quidditch cronies. Another one that will think anything as long as Potter thinks it, do anything as long as Potter does it, I'm sure she and I will be married by next—"

"Severus, I can't stand this anymore! Will you please leave Potter out of this? He has nothing to do with anything—"

"I SAW YOU WITH HIM!" Snape bellowed, looking rather mad now. "I saw you! At the end of term! Hugging him! You call him arrogant, you say you can't stand to be in his company, but where are you 9 times out of 10?"

"Severus, we have the same frien—"

"You tell me how obnoxious you think he is, how cocky, how unbearable, but did you think I didn't notice the way you practically jumped on top of him when he played the stupid effing hero as usual near the Forest that night? And then hugging him in the Entrance Hall? I was coming up from the Dungeons and I saw that. I couldn't even walk past, I just had to stand there like a…like…and you, hugging him like you couldn't stand to spend a summer apart from him—"

"Severus!" Lily shouted, seething with anger. "Stop this. I was hugging him! I was! And not that I owe you any kind of explanation—because I certainly don't—but I was trying to comfort him. His father's just died, Severus, and I don't doubt you've heard about it."

"Oh, of course I've heard about it. Something goes wrong in perfect Potter's life and the whole world falls to pieces, does it?"

"Severus," Lily breathed, horrified. "I understand you dislike each other, but there's a time and a place. He doesn't like you either, but when it came down to saving your neck, he put his pride aside and realized what was important. That he didn't actually want something horrible to happen to you. But you—you have no compassion whatsoever, do you? He's going through a difficult—"

"Oh no," said Severus in a trembling voice, and he began to pace, clutching at his hair and looking on the verge of a breakdown. "No, no. I can't believe this is finally happening. I knew it. I knew it, I knew it. He's finally gotten to you."

Lily huffed angrily. "This conversation is over. You're impossible to talk to sometimes!" And she turned on her heel to go, but Severus grabbed hold of her wrist.

"No—wait—I'm sorry."

"Sorry, sorry," Lily mocked. "You're always sorry, but nothing ever changes, does it? Are you sorry for aspiring to be a Death Eater? Are you sorry for practically drooling over the Dark Arts? You're sorry for calling me Mudblood, sorry for constantly failing to see the point in anything I say because you're so blinded by hatred and jealousy for James, I'm sick of—"

Was it that she had made the humiliating accusation that he was jealous of James Potter? Or was it merely the way she said "James," a syllable Severus could not stand to hear Lily utter? Whatever it was that made him snap, Severus shouted, "Fine! Go off then, go coddle your precious Potter. If you ask me, it's good his father died, the little prat could use a few tragedies, maybe it'll bring him down to Earth with the rest of us!"

Lily was so angry there were tears in her eyes as she stormed off, and though she could hear him calling after her—whether more insults or pleas to return, she did not know—she was determined not to hear him.