Lily didn't think it was possible for anyone to be more eager to return to Hogwarts than she was. The remainder of the summer holidays dragged by painfully slowly, and when the first of September finally arrived and she kissed her parents goodbye at King's Cross, she all but skipped onto the Hogwarts Express.

Already wearing her school robes, Lily entered the Prefects' compartment in high spirits. They all bought sweets and talked for a while about Prefect duties and summer memories, and Lily was particularly glad to see Remus Lupin again. She had always liked him very much, as he had the same jovial spirit as his friends but had always been a step or two ahead of them in maturity. He was humble and kind, and Lily did not even hold it against him that he had not managed to tame his friends with his status as Prefect. He'd gained an inch or two over the summer, but was looking a bit peaky as always.

When the Prefects had all gone off to find their friends, Lily and Remus walked down the train together while Remus told her about his holiday.

He stopped after peeking into a compartment window, not quite at the middle of the train. "This is me," he said, and as he slid the door open, Lily caught a glimpse of disheveled dark hair.

"Moony, m'boy!"

"Remus Lupin, as I live and breathe!"

Remus smiled into the compartment, then looked back at Lily.

"Care to pop in for a quick hello?" he asked with a knowing grin.

Lily flushed deeply and shuffled her feet. "I—no that's alright, I'll just…I'll see him—er, them…at…at the feast. 'Bye, Remus." And she hurried off to find her friends.

The truth was, Lily was anxious about seeing James Potter again. What if Remus had told him about their conversation? When she'd last seen him, they'd, for once, been civil. More than that, they'd been quite affectionate. Was he going to expect something the moment he saw her? She did not know how far she was ready to pursue her newly discovered feelings and, although she had admittedly missed his company over the summer, she wasn't sure what she wanted. Sure, she had feelings for him. There was no denying that. But that didn't change the fact that he was, a lot of the time, almost unbearable. Attractive as he was, James's arrogance had a way of making him so ugly to Lily. And what if he, as usual, asked her out within minutes of seeing her again? Would she say yes? She tried her hardest to enjoy her friends' company on the way to Hogwarts, and decided to put James out of her mind for the time being.

Of course, that could only work for so long. When they entered Hogwarts castle, Libby very predictably took a seat in the Great Hall only two away from James, and Lily sat next to her with Maggie and Alice just across from them. But any tension that might have existed between James and Lily was crowded out by everyone's excitement over seeing their friends again, the mix of overlapping conversation, and a wonderful feast.

Until a moment just before dinner began. While Maggie took a break from telling Lily about her holidays to gulp her cider, Lily found herself looking at James. He was listening, seemingly very intently, to Alice's tale of her summertime blunder with an engorgement charm. The light of the candles shone on his glasses and sparkled in his eyes, and the corners of his lips were raised as he nodded at Alice. He laughed in earnest as Alice described certain of her body parts ballooning like puffer fish, and the sight of him laughing made something erupt inside of Lily. As though he could sense this, James's gaze darted toward her. Their eyes locked.

Lily hastened to look away-heaven knows what her expression was doing when he caught her looking-but not before he gave her a crooked, cheeky smile and winked.

Halfway through dinner, Lily overheard Sirius ask some of the boys, "You lot seen Cordelia Prewett?"

"No, why? asked Peter.

"Summer's been mighty kind to her, that's all I'll say." He winked at Peter, then nudged James's side. James looked at him, then followed Sirius's line of vision to the Hufflepuff table. Lily rolled her eyes but could not help watching James out of the corner of her eye to see his reaction.

When he found her, his eyebrows shot up so far they were invisible beneath his hair. "Christ alive," he mumbled.

Sirius chuckled. "Have a word, mate. I have it from George Prichard, you know, Beater on their Quidditch team, that the chaser, Watts or something—"

"It's Watson," James corrected, "Paul Watson. Cracking Chaser."

"Yeah, well, not as good as you, it seems—apparently Watson used to go out with Cordelia and they had a row because she was salivating over your moves on the pitch, just after they'd lost to Gryffindor as well. In front of Watson and all."

James raised his eyebrows again, but a moment later he changed the subject. Sirius gave him an odd look, and Lily was not at a loss for why. Had James really passed up this opportunity to gloat? Had he really changed the subject when, for once, someone else brought up his Quidditch skills?

When it was time to go up to Gryffindor Tower, however, Lily discovered that perhaps not much had changed after all. The Marauders had somehow smuggled an entire side of ham from the feast and were having a game of Quidditch with it, in the middle of the hallway, weaving in and out of their fellow Gryffindors.

"And it's Black with the Quaffle—oohh, dodges a Bludger by a fraction of a Bezaor!"

"Brilliant pass to Pettigrew, oh, back to Black, Pettigrew, Black, Pettigrew—Pettigrew fumbles it, pity, pity!"

"Caught by Potter, and it's been a rough game for Potter so far with eight Bludger injuries and only one leg left, but what a bloke, he's still in the game! He swerves, goes for it…annddd scores!"

The corridor was alight with laughter and some applause. Even Lily, looking to set a good example as Prefect, was reluctant to stop them.

"Alright, alright whacky lads. Now, let's have it."

"Ahhh, come on, Evans," said James. "Have a wee lark-about for once. Don't go all Prefecty on us and spoil the fun. Are you a bit jealous? You can play Beater if you like, I know how much you'd like to take a swing at me."

Lily felt the color rise in her face. Rather than shout at him or become angry like she normally would, however, she lowered her voice and tried to speak only to James. "Come on, Potter, help me out," she beseeched. "You know I can't let you get away with that."

This new approach to James's troublemaking seemed to take him off guard. He looked like he might speak for a moment, then closed his mouth. He took out his wand and the ham became a crumpled piece of paper. He pocketed it with a mock-bow at Lily.

"Aw, James! Don't get rid of it, you haven't even given me a position yet!" cried a fifth-year mirthfully.

"You can be Seeker, Noakes," James laughed. "Get looking. I think I saw it down in the dungeons."

When they arrived in Gryffindor Tower and Lily had almost reached the girls' dormitory, James called to her.

Blimey, thought Lily nervously. Here it comes…

"What's up?"

"Hate to bother you but when you go up, d'you think you could just nip back down and give me my Transfiguration book? It's Transfiguration first thing tomorrow and I want to look at something quickly before bed."

Lily blinked. "Oh…"

"If it's a bother I can just wait 'til the morning. Just bring it to McGonagall's lesson obviously."

"No, no, I just thought—no, just wait here, I'll be right back."

And even when she returned downstairs, handed James his book, and bade him goodnight, he did not ask her out.

It was strange; James had never gone an entire two weeks without asking Lily out, or openly flirting with her, or going out of his way to touch her or brush past her. But days went by, and his interactions with Lily supported no agenda. Had Remus told him what she'd said? Was he laughing about it behind her back? Had she lost all appeal now that he'd finally gotten his way?

Still, James's behavior remained the same in many ways. He had not lost a cinch of his confidence, though he seemed to have banished his air of superiority. He seemed to get into trouble only slightly less often, but his jokes on other students were down to a lighthearted minimum, and his bullying and cruelty to other students was completely nonexistent. Severus Snape remained the exception. Before the first week was out, they had already gotten into two altercations, but Lily was surprised to learn (once through Libby and then through Remus) that Snape and his friends had provoked James on both occasions by insulting his father. Lily was disgusted at Severus for so callously digging at James's fresh wound, and she did not miss an opportunity the next time she saw him to throw him a filthy look.

"It's like he's extra evil these days now he hasn't got you on his side," said James in Potions one day, glancing surreptitiously at Snape across the room. "Really bitter over it. Well. I always knew he fancied you rotten."

"We were only friends," Lily clarified quietly.

"Oh, I know that, believe me," said James. "But I dunno that he did." James's tone was passive, and Lily continued to get the strong impression that he had completely given up on asking her out. It was a bit unsettling, missing those days…

The plus side was that without James's constant come-ons, the door was opened for the pair to actually talk. When James was not painting the town red with the Marauders or taxing himself to death on the Quidditch Pitch, Lily, Alice, Maggie, Libby, and the Marauders could often be found in the Common Room or on the grounds talking and blowing off steam after lessons.

Lily tried to keep James out of her mind as anything other than a friend, and for a while she had convinced herself that she did not care that James seemed to have moved on from her. Her first test, however, came very abruptly, nearly two months into term.

It was around nine-thirty on a very rainy evening in November. Libby had just stomped in from Quidditch Practice, and James, on his second year as Captain, had kept them out for nearly three hours.

"Really good practice tonight," said Libby, stretching. "I think we have a good shot at it next week. A lot of Gryffindors came out to watch, you should have come!"

"Prefects' meeting," Lily answered, reading over her Transfiguration essay.

"It's always such a laugh when there's a crowd. Potter always showing off…bloody good flyer though. Really something to watch."

Something about the way she said it made Lily look up. "He's alright I suppose." This was a lie. Lily hated to admit it, because James was never more bigheaded about anything than his skills on the Quidditch Pitch, but he really was something to watch. Lily had never missed a Gryffindor game, partly to support her house, but also because she enjoyed watching him play. She couldn't understand how someone could handle the Quaffle so expertly whilst flying as fast as James Potter could, weaving in and out of his teammates and opponents.

"Alright?" Libby scoffed. "He's really talented. And I'm not the only one who thinks so."

Lily did not like to hear Libby talk about James this way, and she replied harshly, "Yeah, James Potter thinks so too. He's really talented, I know that, but…he just knows it, doesn't he?" This, again, was not entirely truthful. James had toned down his arrogance on the Quidditch Pitch considerably. Sure, he still played at his best, celebrated his team's victories wholeheartedly, and enjoyed cheers and praise from the crowd. But Lily had noticed that James did not ham it up as much these days.

Eager to make a point for some reason—what point, she did not know—Lily continued, "It's all the same with him. He may as well walk around Hogwarts shouting, 'Look at me! Look how great I am at Quidditch and look how clever I am and look, I can do advanced magic! Everyone look at how good-looking I am!' Remember in fourth year, when Eliza from Hufflepuff had that really big crush on him, and she asked him out, and he turned her down really harshly in front of everyone? Well after she walked away he said to Sirius, 'Is it wrong that I'm actually offended that she asked me, thinking there was a chance I might say yes?' Like he's God's gift or something. Just because she doesn't have the right measurements or something…"

"Lily, that was fourth year. He's always like that with girls. Maybe you don't notice it because you're too good for him or whatever, but he gets loads of attention from girls, and, I dunno, that's what blokes do. Especially when they're fourteen. So what if he's aware he's good looking? It's better than being awkward and insecure. And anyway, I thought you two were getting on alright lately…"

"Yeah. Well. It wouldn't hurt to tone it down a bit, that's all." Lily did not know why she was being this way. She had become even more riled up since Libby said He's always like that with girls…

"I dunno. I think he has. Don't get me wrong, he's still a laugh and everything, but he seems to have deflated his head a bit. Maybe you finally knocked him down a few pegs," Libby laughed, but Lily sensed some bitterness in her voice. "Still, I'm kind of glad you feel this way. I want to talk to you, and that makes it much simpler."

"Sure," said Lily, sitting up.

Libby was sitting on the edge of her bed, wringing out her sopping blonde hair, which sprung back into its characteristic spirals when she released it.

"Well, I know your relationship with James has always been a bit weird…"

Lily shrugged.

"Well, anyway…I dunno, I'm sure you can see where this conversation is going."

The truth was, Lily did have an idea where it was going, and her only fear was that she was right. For some reason, however, she shook her head no.

Libby sighed and dropped her hands into her lap. "I like him," she said, shrugging bashfully and smiling. "And I guess I wanted to make sure that doesn't bother you. I know you've always been pretty clear about not being interested in him, but I just wanted to make sure. I know he really fancied you for a few years, but since you've never had those feelings, and since he's finally of grown out of his crush…well, I suppose I want to make sure I have your blessing."

Grown out of his crush? Lily knew she had no right to feel so bothered by those words. She had never given him the slightest chance with her, had never even agreed to go into Hogsmeade with him, not even on a double date. She had never even agreed to let him buy her a Butterbeer…

But Lily had always found him interesting. He had always been good looking, even more so now that he had grown a few inches and filled out a bit. James had entered the sixth year tall and lean, with a strong jaw, mischievous but warm hazel eyes, and ever-smirking lips that Lily couldn't seem to take her eyes off of. And he really was a good person, she'd always known that deep down. Perhaps she had just been waiting for him to grow out of his immaturity. But James had not only grown out of his immaturity; he had grown out of her.

"Of—of course," said Lily. "D'you think—does he fancy you too?" she asked, trying to sound casual.

"You know something," said Libby, lying on her stomach and balling a pillow between her arms, "I really think he might." Her large, round blue eyes were shining happily, and her wide smile revealed a set of white, straight teeth. She really is a lovely person, thought Lily rather miserably. And they'd be good together. Both Gryffindors were talented Quidditch chasers, both always a bit immature for their age, both confident, neither very studious (though Libby had never gotten away with this quite the way James had. Her grades usually tended to suffer while James got by on ingenuity and pure wit).

"That's…that's really good, Libby. I think you should go for it."

"Oh brilliant," she said happily. "I had a feeling you wouldn't mind, but now I've checked, I won't have to worry."

Lily laughed weakly and crawled under her sheets. "Yeah, it's no problem. Pretty knackered though. 'Night, Libby."

"Goodnight," she replied cheerfully.

Lily drifted off to sleep with knots in her stomach.