"I hope it doesn't rain," Finny said as the party rode in a wagon toward the beach they were planning on going to.
Bard got angry. "You idiot! Now you've jinxed the whole thing!"
"Oh, no! There's clouds in the sky, yes there is!" Mey-Rin said, erratic.
Sebastian, who was driving the wagon, said, "Quiet, you three. This is supposed to be a relaxing vacation for Lady Lillith."
Lily hadn't spoken since they had gotten off the train. Walter commented, "Lillith, you've haven't said a word for quite some time. Perhaps this trip is helping you to become a proper lady."
Lily only glanced at him.
Eventually, they came up to a small house beside a beach. The wagon stopped moving, and Sebastian said, "We have arrived."
Everyone except Lily and Walter carried luggage inside the house. Walter scoffed as they all looked around. "It's hardly as big or elegant as our own homes. I suppose it will do, though."
The servants besides Sebastian were excited. "It's quite cozy, yes it is!" Mey-Rin said.
Bard said, taking a deep breath, "You can smell that salty sea air!"
Finny looked at Lily. "Mistress, may we go to the beach?"
"As soon as you 3 get everything unpacked, you may do as you wish," Lily replied, quietly.
The maid, gardener, and cook hurried up and unpacked, then put on bathing suits and raced outside. Walter rolled his eyes. "They are so childish." He turned to look at Lily, but she was in another room. She came back in, wearing a blue bathing suit. Walter started to speak, but Lily merely walked past him and went outside.
There were no clouds in the sky now, and the sun was shining brightly on the clear ocean water. Lily sat on the sand, taking in the scene. Finny had a crab clutching his toe, and Bard and Mey-Rin were running after him, trying to help. When they took care of the problem, they invited Lily to get in the water with them. She stood up and walked toward the ocean. She put her foot in. All of a sudden, her face turned white. They asked her what was wrong, to which she just smiled a little and replied, "Nothing." She walked further and further until the water was up to her waist.
Walter looked at the scene, annoyed. "I will never understand why she insists on interacting with her servants like that."
"Lady Lillith does not have many friends, so she enjoys socializing with the ones who work in the manor," Sebastian said behind him. He stood by Walter's side, still dressed in butler garb.
"She seems to socialize with you the most. I dare say that she is quite fond of you."
"I am her butler. A butler and his master have a bond unlike with any other servant. I am held in high esteem as a reward for my loyalty. That is only one of my duties."
"Indeed. You keep the Athelward household in shape. Those three are incompetent, so I suppose you deserve at least a bit of respect."
"I simply do what is required of me."
"You are a very skilled servant. When Lily and I are wed, I shall have you serve us. It is remarkable how well you perform your tasks."
"You are too kind, Lord Walter, but you see, I am simply one hell of a butler."
That night, after everyone had eaten and gone to bed, Lily very carefully and quietly went outside. Moonlight shone on the dark ocean, and the sight reflected in her eyes. It was beautiful. It was calling to her.
Deeper.
Deeper.
Everything was hopeless. She would never find her parents. Two innocent people were dead because of her.
Gone.
Gone.
All she had been doing for more than a year was following trails that led to dead ends, and the world was being turned upside down as a result of her searching. How much more pain would she cause?
So much water.
It was perfect. This time, she would not scream for help. The water would save her instead of destroy her. She would be doing the world a favor by ending herself. This was the second time she would try drowning herself. The first was shortly after her parents disappeared. She was unable to find them. She was worth nothing.
Falling.
Falling.
Into the sea.
The irony once more.
Take me
Someone caught her.
One last time
She kicked. Her feet hit water and air.
Be my grave, grander than the river would have been.
She struggled to get free, to no avail.
Let my fragile life slip away.
Lily was carried to dry land. Now the only water surrounding her was her tears. She kept struggling until exhaustion overcame her and she had no choice but to give up her attempt to escape.
The young lady was set down in a spot far behind the house. "You almost broke our contract, Lady Lillith."
Lily looked at Sebastian with depressed, tired eyes. She said nothing. He spoke again. "We still have to find your parents. Besides, if you commit suicide, you will become a reaper. You don't want that, do you?"
"We'll never find them, and all I've been doing is hurting people while trying to reach my goal. I am no better than a criminal."
Sebastian put his index finger under her chin and lifted her head. They locked eyes. "My lady, you try to take the burdens of the world on your shoulders and solve problems that aren't even yours to solve. You can only do so much. Give yourself time, even if it's more than a year. You've come farther than you think you have. Don't let guilt and empathy destroy you, and don't try to do everything on your own. I am here to serve you until the very end. If only you would make use of my abilities more, you would have a clearer head. For your sake, let me help you."
"Sit by me," Lily said, weakly. When Sebastian did so, she leaned on him.
They were quiet for a moment, then Sebastian said, "You must promise not to kill yourself or try to anymore."
Lily paused, then nodded. "I promise."
"Are you ready to go back to the house, my lady?"
"No. I want to stay here for a bit."
"Very well, Mistress."
Lily stared at Sebastian for a bit. He turned his head toward her, slightly. "Is something wrong?"
"Not at all. Sebastian?"
"Yes, my lady?"
Lily became very nervous and figetety. She stopped and took a deep breath. "What I am about to ask you to do is…beyond what is…normal or right." She looked him in the eye. "You don't have to; you may refuse."
"What is it?"
"I know you're unable to feel anything, to have any emotions, but if you would, pretend to be mine, just for one night." She held his hand. "There's something within me, a growing desire to…"
"Yes? Go on."
"To have physical contact. To be caressed. To be kissed. To be taken. I want what is forbidden."
"Ah, what you're feeling is lust, my lady. It's a primal urge that humans have."
"I want it all, and I want it with you. Grant me one night to pretend that you're mine, that we belong to each other. I know it's a lot to ask, but I don't want anyone but you. I know you're similar to a fantasy, a mirage even though you exist, but I can't help wanting you…NEEDING you. I won't force you to do anything of this nature. All I want is this night, a night of pleasure and pretend."
"Say the word, my lady."
"Do you forgive me? Will you forgive me?"
"There is nothing to forgive. As you have said, I have no emotions. I do not feel one way or the other about your wishes. If it is your will, I shall do as you ask."
"Then, one more request, if it is possible. I…I command you not to impregnate me. I don't want children. I never have and never will. Mock or scold me if you want, but I stand firm on this decision."
"My lady, a demon cannot impregnate anyone. Demons are created, not born, and there are no such things as half-demons. Please put your mind at rest."
He continued. "You are so anxious about what you want. If you keep being this way, the night will slip away, and you will have nothing." He kissed her neck and whispered in her ear. "Give your order, and I will be yours tonight."
Lily felt a surge of something she had never felt before. She was melting in his arms. She whispered, breathless, "Sebastian, I order you to take me."