Lily joined her fellow early-rising Gryffindors at the table in the Great Hall for breakfast determined to act as though the previous night had never happened.

She skimmed The Daily Prophet, taking in more of the damage You-Know-Who and his supporters were inflicting on the Wizarding world as she spread marmalade over a piece of toast.

She was antsy. Every time someone new joined the Gryffindor table she jumped, and she was hoping not to have to face James, Sirius, Remus, and Peter before she absolutely had to. Now that she thought about it, the boys were usually last to breakfast the morning after a full moon, sleepy eyed and yawning over tall cups of coffee or tea. If Lily ate quickly enough, she thought, she could head off to the library for some reading before the four people in question joined their classmates for breakfast. It was Arithmancy first thing this morning, a full period free of the Marauders.

A few more bites of toast later, a hand reached over her shoulder to take the pot of coffee sitting in front of her. She looked up and nearly inhaled her toast.

"'Morning, Evans," a curt voice greeted her.

She cleared her throat. "'Morning, Potter."

Only when he joined his three friends several places along the bench did she realize that they had all arrived. Peter was busy tending to a large stack of bacon; Sirius muttered something to James, then looked at Lily to give her a very serious, very stiff nod; Remus seemed determined to avoid Lily's gaze.

Lily felt a stab of guilt when she got a closer look at James. This morning, he was sporting four very deep gashes along the side of his neck and what looked like bite marks on his right arm. What his body looked like under his clothes, Lily did not want to know. Still, it was not surprising that James was looking this way.

Lily was a Prefect. She had a great deal of respect both for Hogwarts and Albus Dumbledore, yet there wasn't a question in her mind that she could keep the Marauders' secret just that—a secret.

For Lily, somehow there was no contest. She had read about werewolves, their painful transformations, the isolation they can feel…and she couldn't think of a person at Hogwarts more likable than Remus Lupin. James, Sirius, and Peter were breaking about a hundred school rules, not to mention the law. But their dedication to Remus evoked in her such admiration and respect that the only thing she felt the day after the full moon was shame for having stuck her nose in such an intimate secret. She shuddered to think of the terrible trouble Remus and his friends could have gotten into had anything serious happened.

Thankfully by the next day, no awkwardness hung between her and the boys other than Remus, and Lily effectively dispelled this with an initially awkward conversation that, happily, resulted in sheepish smiles from the both of them, and Lily's promise of discretion.

That evening in the Common Room was like any other. Lily finished her homework and spent her evening in discussion about their Potions lesson that day, during which Professor Slughorn practically had Lily teach the entire class while he sat at his desk, about You-Know-Who and what he was getting up to, and then eventually about more lighthearted subjects.

The subject of the evening was Alice and Frank getting caught snogging behind Hagrid's Hut after Care of Magical Creatures.

"He was my first," said Alice, very pink in the face.

"Was he really?" said Libby, her eyes alight with amusement. "That is sweet as anything! I remember mine, it was a surprise one from Caradoc Dearborn. Third year. I ran away screaming as I remember correctly."

Maggie laughed into her pumpkin juice. "Mine was only last year. Marc Hughes."

Libby sat up and looked across the Common Room at the seventh-year in question. "And you never told me? Oh, this is coming up next Quidditch practice, for sure."

"Oh, leave it," said Maggie, blushing. "How about you, Sirius? What were you, about 8?"

Sirius stuck his tongue out at her.

A smile spread slowly across James's face. "You can't remember, can you?"

"I can remember! And no, I wasn't 8, I was," he cleared his throat, "thirteen."

"Who was that then?" said Libby.

"She's not here anymore, but she was in Ravenclaw. Eleanor Echols. She was a fifth year."

"Oh, I remember her," James said fondly.

"Do you mean you remember the area between her neck and stomach?"

"More accurate," said James fairly.

Sirius laughed. "Great personality though."

"Really?"

"Nah, I have no idea."

Everyone laughed. Libby moved toward James. "How about you then, Potter? First snog?"

Lily's eyes locked on James.

He smirked. "You won't know her."

"We might! Go on, tell us."

"No, really. You won't know her. She doesn't come to Hogwarts."

"Ooohhh, foreign?" said Peter.

"No. She's from Godric's Hollow."

There was a pause. "Parents sent her somewhere else then?" Libby asked.

"Technically yes, as she's a Muggle."

It was silent for a moment, save for Peter's gasp of surprise. He was looking around, as if to see what everyone else thought of this before deciding how harshly James ought to be judged for this.

"So, wait," said Remus. "Did she…know?"

"'Course not. Just thinks I'm home summers from prep school."

"Never saw your wand or anything?"

"Whoa Remus, now you're just getting personal."

There was a sprinkling of laughter and Remus rolled his eyes. "Ha, ha. You're too funny, James. Honestly, you slay me."

"I've met her," Sirius interrupted. "Danielle something, yeah?"

"Daphne."

"Oh right. I liked her, charming girl."

"Yeah. But then she got herself a bloke the past two summers," James said wistfully.

"Was it weird snogging a Muggle?" asked Peter.

"Weird? They are human, you realize? And no…it was groovy," he shrugged. "Some things in life, mate—Muggle or Witch—are the same."

"Like snogging," said Sirius.

"Like snogging," James agreed. "Got its own sort of magic, doesn't it?" He winked at no one in particular. "Anyway, half my town is Muggles. Got to do something with my summers."

Libby tisked. "Remus? How about you, mate?"

Lupin went pink in the face. "Erm…"

Gwenog giggled. "It's alright, Remus, I don't mind." Everyone looked at her.

"You scallywag!" James shouted at Remus. "I never knew!"

"Moony, you absolute cad!" Sirius exploded. "Is she as good at snogging as she is at Beating?"

"Keep it down, Padfoot; we want to keep that query in context," James cautioned.

Gwenog was laughing but said, "Better watch your mouth, Black, or I'll show you just how good at Beating I really am."

"Oooer," Sirius purred. "What do you say to the old Charms classroom? Midnight? Unless, of course, our dear Remus objects…"

"And you wonder why I don't tell you lot these sorts of things," Remus said wearily.

"Proud of you though, Moony," said Sirius, as if Gwenog was not sitting feet away from him.

Remus rolled his eyes.

"I'm a bit miffed, personally," James sighed, "I thought Moony was still the virgin in a sea full of voracious snoggers. I wanted to be your first," he sniffed.

"God, you are so bent," Remus chuckled. "Can someone get out something shiny and wave it around? I've lost my handbook on how to distract the Barmy Twins and their previous owner seems to have gone into hiding."

"Actually, Prongs, we knew Moony was an avid snogger," said Sirius with laughter, ignoring Remus. "Remember we caught him snogging that Chocolate Frog Card with Circe on it?"

"Oh, go on, Padfoot, he wasn't snogging it," James corrected. "Give him a bit of credit; he was having a proper wank."

"I was looking at it, you blithering idiots."

"Alright, mate, don't have a go at us. We're not the ones tossing off over our illustrious wizarding ancestors."

Remus glared at Sirius.

"You're right though, Sirius, it's not Moony who's the un-snogged. That's Wormtail. Right,

Wormtail?"

"More like un-snoggable," Sirius snorted.

Peter squirmed in his seat. "Wrong," he snapped, his eyes shifting nervously between the boys. "Wrong there!"

"Go on then, how many girls've you snogged?" asked Sirius.

He paused. "Seven."

"Seven?" Sirius spluttered, already laughing.

"Ah, mate," James said reproachfully, "if you're going to be economical with the truth, at least perjure yourself with a bit of dignity. I don't reckon even Sirius has got through seven birds."

Peter bypassed red and flushed burgundy.

"You're both being horrible, as usual," Lily chimed in.

James latched his gaze onto her. "You know, Evans, you could always make his lot easier and give him a quick one."

"What a breath of fresh air! You're trying to convince me to snog someone. What a lovely change," she said dryly.

"Okay, okay—listen up, everyone—Evans would like to make an announcement!" he called to the Common Room, his voice carrying rather farther than Lily would have liked. "No? Shall I do it then? Well, alright. I used to fancy her rotten and I asked her out about fifty-nine times!" James turned to look at Lily again and smiled sickeningly sweetly. "That do? Happy now we've got that out of the way?"

Remus's eyes were traveling back and forth between Lily and James, a satisfied smile playing around his lips and a smart glint in his pale blue eyes. Lily's attention was stolen by Libby, however, who was looking uncomfortable.

In an attempt to forget about this, Lily turned to James and tutted. "Potter, did you ever really fancy me, or do you just like to test out your powers of persuasion now and again? I know you are very used to the world falling into your lap, but don't corrupt Peter as well."

James grinned, apparently enjoying himself immensely. "You know what, Evans? I reckon you have a point. Tell you what. We'll leave Peter out of it, as we wouldn't want to corrupt him, and we'll leave the snogging to you and me."

Sirius sat up as if readying himself to watch what was sure to be a very gruesome fight to the death.

"Whoa, smooth, Potter" Lily remarked dully. "How will I ever resist you?"

James's eyes sparkled behind his rectangular glasses. "You know me, Evans. Always got my head in the game."

"It's a wonder how you manage that with the giant antlers growing out of it," Lily mumbled for only James to hear.

"Alright then, Evans," he said, trying to stifle his chuckling. "I believe you are the only one still withholding a piece of completely pointless yet highly entertaining information—first snog? Let's have it."

Lily flushed. She looked around and noticed—thankfully—that during their banter, Frank, Alice, and Maggie had started up a separate conversation several feet away, and only Sirius, Remus, Libby, and Peter really remained within earshot.

Libby grinned wickedly. "I know this one."

"You do?" Lily blurted, anxious.

Libby nodded.

Lily shook her head. "Actually, Libbs…I dunno that you do."

"Was it not Fabian Prewett?"

"Fabian Prewett?" James said sharply. "Really?"

Lily looked at him. "Well, he wasn't my first snog. But…erm…yeah. Why, something wrong with him?"

"No," James clarified hurriedly. "No, really good bloke. He's erm..." There was a very pregnant pause. "That's Cordelia's cousin, Fabian. Great bloke."

"Yeah," said Lily. "Anyway, I think I'll head up to—"

"Oh, pathetic," James said. "Troll-grade attempt at dodging the question, Evans. First snog. Go on."

Even Libby leaned forward.

Lily sighed. "I warn you, Potter. You don't want to know."

"Why not?"

"I'll say this: he's not your best mate."

"It had better bloody well not be!" James cried indignantly, flinging a quill at Sirius so that it poked him in the cheek.

"What the hell is your problem, mate?" he cried, emerging from conversation with Remus and Peter.

"Never mind that. Go on, Evans."

And as Sirius was mumbling, "Out of your ruddy tree…" Lily decided to just come out with it. "Well, if you must know, it was Severus."

There was a collective gasp, and James froze. His expression became steadily more horrified, but he did not move or speak for a full ten seconds. Lily glanced at Libby; she had clapped her hand over her mouth, and her eyes were threatening to leap out of her skull.

As if at the press of a button, James unfroze, his body relaxing and a grin covering his face. He looked rather dazed when he chuckled dangerously and said, "Sincerest apologies, my dear Evans, but I think this room might have a Wrackspurt infestation. You see, I asked you about your first kiss, but unfortunately when you answered, my brain went all dithery and in place of your actual, reasonable, sane answer…I heard instead a stream of absolute, quibbling balderdash," he explained delicately, laughing breathlessly and a little desperately now and again. "Drivel, if you will. Hogwash. Shall we try again?"

Lily smiled sadly. "You are amusing as always, Potter. But you heard correctly."

"Sorry—you snogged Severus Snape."

"Yes."

"Severus Snape of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry."

"Yes."

"The one in Slytherin?"

"Oh, come off it, Potter! You asked, I told you. Would you prefer I lied?"

"Er, YES. If the truth is that you kissed Snivellus, then I'd have preferred a lie," he blustered.

"Fine then. My first kiss was Fabian Prewett. Happy?"

"Sorry, hang on—" He called out to the Common Room again: "Excuse me…anyone have a really cracking memory charm up their sleeve?"

"Oh, for heaven's sake, Potter—"

"—because in all honestly, I would empty my Gringott's account for one."

"Will you shut up?"

But instead, James stood up. "You kissed Snape?" he demanded, looking as if it was a personal insult.

"Yes."

"A proper snog?" he interrogated.

"What? I don't know how to answer that, Potter. It wasn't like we were rolling around or anything but we—"

"Oh my god!" James practically retched, throwing his hands up. "Shutupshutupshutupshutup! I've got a very active imagination, Evans, please, spare me!"

"I said we weren't—"

"Oh my god, she's still going!" James cried maniacally to nobody. Then, gesturing frantically, he spluttered, "Who kissed who?"

"That," Lily snapped, "is none of your business!"

"Yeah, look Evans, none of this has been any of our business, no use going all proud now."

Lily made to argue, but stopped herself. In a very dignified voice she answered, "I kissed him."

"YOU—" James shrieked, but his voice died in his throat and he stopped short, staggered. Lily would not have been surprised if smoke had started billowing out of his ears. He looked down at her, very white in the face, and slowly sunk back into the cushions of the couch.

Lily made to speak but James held a hand up to her. He removed his glasses and pinched the bridge of his nose.

Lily spoke anyway. "You're being a child, Potter."

"I'm not," he said testily, ramming his glasses back on. "I'm being…I dunno what I'm being."

Lily stared at her feet.

"What's the big deal?" Libby asked. "So what if she kissed Snape?"

Lily would have been grateful for the backup if she did not distinctly hear the note of resentment in her voice.

James glared at Libby over his glasses for a moment, then looked at Lily again.

"When was this, out of interest?"

Lily bit her lip. "Not recently. End of fourth year, I think. It was…just the once."

"Right." James looked up, and it seemed to hit him hard that by now, Sirius, Libby, Remus, and Peter were all watching him. "Right well, I'm off to bed," he said. "Got Quidditch early tomorrow."

"No we haven't," Libby pointed out moodily.

"Well—lessons at the crack of dawn then."

"Tomorrow's Thursday, lessons start at eleven."

"Right well, I'll have to be up early to buy a calendar then," he snapped, and stalked off to bed.

Libby collected her things as well, leaving Lily, Sirius, Remus, and Peter with a glum "'Night," and schlepped off to bed.

"What's eating her?" Sirius mused.

"Yeah, she's clearly the one acting odd tonight," said Lily sardonically.

"To be fair, Lily…are you trying to kill him?"

"What?"

"Why would you tell him that?"

"He asked!" said Lily defensively.

"Yeah, but…blimey, Lily, lie," Sirius laughed.

Lily pursed her lips. "It was two years ago. And anyway, what does Potter care who I snog? He's…he snogs loads of…he doesn't even…well, it is none of his business, that's the point!"

Remus and Sirius locked eyes for a moment, and there seemed to be some very swift, silent communication going on. Finally, Remus turned to Lily and said thoughtfully, "I think it's more that it was Snape, obviously. I think he might feel a bit...I dunno, betrayed."

"Well he knows we were friends."

"Yes, but…okay, in all seriousness," said Remus, shifting closer to Lily. "Whatever you might think, or whatever you might have thought about James, he's…well, he's a good bloke, Lily. He means well and he's a good person."

"Are you on the turn, Remus?" said Sirius affectionately, twirling one of Remus's sandy locks of hair.

Remus waved him away impatiently. "The point is, from a completely not bent point of view, he is a good bloke. Yes?"

Lily nodded stiffly.

"And he fancied you for ages," he shrugged. "And you…well, you sort of seemed to hate him. I'm not saying I don't know better," he said when Lily tried to interject. "And I'm not saying that he didn't act like an idiot nine times out of ten. I just mean…well, it was clear it was never going to happen for him. And then to hear that you snogged someone, and the only thing James has in common with him is a very strong, mutual dislike? You can see why that's a bit maddening, can't you?"

"You're so clever, Remus," Sirius said dotingly, lolling on the couch with 101 Dreadful Hexes. "That is why I adore you."

"What is it with everyone tonight?" said Remus weakly.

"So you reckon James is still jealous over Lily?" Peter asked. "'Cause I asked him if he cared that Myers was taking her to Hogsmeade and he said no."

"Yeah, before he cracked the wall with him," Sirius mumbled.

"Whatever mate, the point is that his feelings now are irrelevant," said Remus. "He fancied her at the same time as Severus, and in his eyes you chose Snape, someone he hates. It doesn't help that Snape is pretty obviously obsessed with the Dark Arts, the darker the better. And James has no respect for it."

Lily paused. "Severus would say that's James's problem. That everyone ought to have an appreciation for the Dark Arts whether they like them or not. It's the only way to have a chance at fighting them, understanding them enough and respecting their powers enough—"

"Yeah, but Lily," Sirius interjected, shaking his head, "You know it's moved far beyond that for Snape. I've heard things and I'm sure you have too."

Lily looked down.

"I'm sure that was true at one time, like when you were mates…but I think we all know he can't wait to wrap himself right around Voldy's little finger."

There was a stifled paused, in which Lily shifted uncomfortably. She felt incredibly sad inside, thinking of the way things ended between her and Severus. Severus had been such a huge part of her discovery of the wizarding world, and so close to her. And now…

Well, he had chosen his way.

"I dunno…I guess we were all talking and…and he asked, and…I didn't think."

"Ah, Lily, don't feel badly! Unless you're going to snog Snape again," Sirius warned. "We just don't want you holding it against our dear Potter that he went a bit…well, potty. He likes to act hard but in reality he is a softy," he added very affectionately.

Lily smiled.

"It also wouldn't hurt if you could just, you know, fall madly in love with him or something," Sirius laughed.

Lily shot a look at Remus. So he hadn't told them what she'd said on the train at the end of last term? He smiled at her.

Sirius stood up, stretching. "Alright, I s'pose I'd better head up. Give Prongs his bottle. Maybe see if he needs a nappy change…rock him to sleep. Coming lads?"

Peter labored to his feet.

"Be up shortly," said Remus.

When they were out of earshot, Lily said, "Forgive me for doubting your word, Remus, but I really am very surprised you never told them about our…little conversation." It was the first time they'd spoken openly about it.

"Nah," said Remus. "It's the sort of thing he should learn from you, and anyway…I didn't think I should, right after his father passed," he added in a low voice.

"Thank you," said Lily.

"You have waited rather longer than I anticipated though," he said carefully. "Everything alright? You seem to be getting on really well, on the whole."

"He's stopped asking me," said Lily, biting her lip. It was the first time she'd vocalized this to anyone. She hadn't wanted to admit how much it bothered her, not even to herself. "I think he's gone off me, to be honest."

Remus chuckled. "He has toned things down a bit, hasn't he?"

"I'm not saying I—I preferred that or that I need that from someone in order to feel like they like me. But that's just the way he liked me. So when he doesn't do that, I assume…"

"Oh, what he would say if he knew he was about one obnoxious proposition away from going out with you, the persistent little bastard. Missed it by one. Well, you've got to fail at some things, I suppose. And…perhaps you should know…" he grimaced. "Er—Lily, these chats…they stay between us, right?"

"Of course!"

"Right, well…James does recognize that the two of you have been getting on really well. I think…when you were there for him at the end of last term, he realized he was screwing up a relationship with a person he genuinely liked by acting like a fool all the time. For the present time, he…honestly seems pretty resigned not to ask you. I think he's enjoying you a bit too much to risk pushing you away."

Lily's eyes widened. "Did he say…"

"This is what I've gathered, you know, based on my own observations."

Lily nodded. After a moment she said, "Remus? There's something else…"

He looked at her with interest.

"It's Libby…she's….well, she confided in me that she's…"

"Really interested in James?"

Lily was stunned. She'd been afraid to betray Libby's trust by telling one of James's closest friends about her feelings, but apparently it was needless worry. "You know?"

"I guessed, but not before James did. He knows."

"He knows?"

"Says he can tell."

"And…and what does he…think of that?" Lily asked, trying to sound casual.

Remus shrugged. "I don't think he knows what to do with it. It's complicated, you know…they're on the team together."

Lily nodded. "Thanks, Remus."

"Sure. Off to bed are you?"

"I think so. I appreciate your talking to me about this. A lot. It's nice to have an outlet," she smiled.

"'Course. But Lily? As for Libby…I don't think anyone could fault you, really…if you told James how you feel about him. To be honest, you're both ruined for other people," he grinned.

"What do you mean?"

"Well…do you think you'll ever find a bloke who doesn't feel really threatened by James? Suspicious all the time?" Lily immediately thought of the way Severus and Kurt had talked about him, almost obsessed over him, constantly trying to find reassurance that she felt nothing for him….

Lily shook her head.

"Well, I assure you, he's having the same problem."