Chapter 16: Dive Into the Heart

Namine moved suddenly, startling Riku. She had gone into a state of peace a couple minutes ago and had stayed that way up till now. Riku looked over at her, and smiled when he found that she was awake. She looked up at him.

"How are you feeling?" he asked, worry in his voice.

"Better" she said, sitting up. She rubbed her head, slightly out of habit, as she had been doing so for the past… while. The memories were gone, for the moment, though there was still a dull throb at the back of her mind. She started to move her hand, only to find it was still in Riku's.

He started to let go, but she held on, clutching his hand tightly.

"How long have I been out?" she asked.

"Maybe twelve hours"

"And… you've been here this entire time?"

He nodded.

She turned away, letting go of his hand. "You shouldn't have-"

"I wasn't going to leave you" he said, before she could even finish. "I couldn't."

"But what about Sora?"

Riku bit his tongue. "Sora's a big boy," he said after a moment. "He can take care of himself."

"And Kairi-"

"Is with Sora. You know Sora's not going to let anything bad happen to her."

"But what if-"

Riku grabbed her hand again. "Listen," he said quietly. "I know you're worried about them. But maybe you're worrying too much. You need to take a moment and calm down. You'll worry yourself into another headache."

She shook her head. "I didn't worry myself into the headache."

"Then what happened?"

She paused a second, trying to figure out to put the odd memories into words. The blasted things started up again at just the thought, though it wasn't nearly as bad as before. She clutched her head, trying to make them stop.

Riku watched, worry in his eyes. "It's happening again, isn't it?"

"I keep seeing these… things. Like, memories, but they aren't memories. Not my memories, anyways. At least, I don't think so. Sometimes, I think I'm in them, and yet sometimes… it's like… like I'm not even there. I don't know what they are. But they're just… there. Usually, they're only in my dreams. But occasionally, I'll just close my eyes, and one of them will play." She reached over, grabbing her sketchbook.

"It's not just the memories. I've been drawing weird things too." She opened up to one of the pictures that she couldn't remember drawing. "Some of them, I can't even remember drawing. Like this one, for example." She passed the sketchbook to Riku. He took one look at the picture and then gasped in shock.

It was him. Not just him, but him lying on the floor, lightning cackling around his body. His blade had spun off to the side.

"That's- That's-" he gasped. He didn't want to finish that sentence. But that was when Larxene had knocked him aside after he had attacked her, right before his memories were rewritten. "That's one of my… memories" he said finally.

"But why am I drawing your memories?" she asked.

He paused, not saying anything for a second. "How long has this been happening?"

"A while now…" Namine replied slowly. "But yesterday was the worst. It's never been that bad before. Never. They started just going past my eyes, colliding with what I was seeing in real life. It wasn't bad at first, and I thought I'd be okay. But then- then-" She took a deep, shaky breath, as if trying to hold back tears. "Then you and Sora started fighting, and they just started getting more frantic. More confusing. I saw the two of you fighting, but it was different. Not just the two of you arguing, but like, actually fighting. And it hurt-" She quickly wiped the tears from her eyes.

Riku swallowed, trying to do his best not to freak out. He hesitated a moment, unsure of what exactly to do. He gently squeezed her hand. "Hey, it's okay" he said. "You're alright. You'll get through this eventually."

"I know," she whispered, wiping her tears away. "I just feel bad…"

"What for?" Riku laughed. "If anyone need's to feel bad, it's me…" he trailed off, not wanting to continue. But he had already started, and this might be his best chance to say it. Namine watched him, curiously.

"I think I know why you've been drawing and seeing my memories…" he said slowly. "Remember that time, forever ago, when I brought you back from Castle Oblivion, and you had asked me why you couldn't remember anything?"

"Yeah, and you said you didn't know."

He turned away, just the fact that she remembered it so well hurt him.

"I lied," he whispered. "I did know. I just- I didn't tell you, because- because I didn't want to hurt you. I knew how much my own truth had hurt me, and I didn't want you to hurt like I did. I probably just made it worse though."

He sighed, closing his eyes. It was about time he just said it. "You're a replica, created without any memories. I sort of killed Vexen before he had the time to give you any." He didn't dare look at her.

"Replica?" she asked, very quiet. "So that means… none of this has been real…?" Her hand twitched inside of his, almost as if that's what she was asking about.

"Wait," Riku said, looking up at her. "No! That's not true at all. This is real! More real than my life has ever been. And, even if it wasn't real," he scratched his head, feeling slightly embarrassed. "I'd take it over any real life I could have."

"Really?"

"Yeah," Riku said. "And even if we aren't technically real, we've still got hearts."

"We?"

"Oh," Riku chuckled. "Yeah, I'm sort of a replica too."

"Oh, I suppose that makes sense…" Namine muttered. Something occurred to her, and she asked: "Is there a 'Real' Riku?"

"Not here…" Riku replied slowly. Upon Namine's look growing even more confused, he explained. "To put it simply, I lived in a parallel universe, and then I was given the chance to live a life without being in the shadow of the Real Riku, and then I was dumped here." Namine just stared at him. "My past is really complicated…" he muttered.

"So it seems," Namine laughed, flipping through her sketchbook. "What about my dreams though? How is it that I'm seeing your memories?"

"I'm not quite sure," Riku said, with a shrug. "It had something to do with the fact you were created from my memories, and that my memories could start leaking. Whatever that meant."

"I think we found out," Namine whispered.

"Oh, right," Riku laughed. He wrapped an arm around her, pulling her close. "How's your head?"

"Better," she replied. "Much better."

"Good," he whispered.

A moment passed.

"Hmm?" Riku said, noticing the picture her sketchbook was open to. "That's funny, this looks exactly like a world I went to the other day."

"It probably is," Namine said. "These are the other odd pictures I've been drawing. I just- I have this feeling that I'm drawing whatever you happen to be seeing at the time. I don't how I know that, let alone why I'm doing it."

Riku smiled to himself, and then asked: "So first you're drawing my memories, and now you're drawing what I see as I explore the Worlds… I can't keep anything from you can I?" He laughed after saying this.

Namine laughed too, and then turned the page. Their laughter stopped and they both winced at the sight of the next picture. In this one, Larxene was holding Riku by the scruff of his neck, about two feet off the ground.

"I… honestly don't remember this one…" Riku muttered. "But I'm not surprised that it happened."

Namine looked up at him, and then down at the picture. "Who is that?" she asked after a moment.

"That's Larxene," Riku replied.

Namine flipped to another picture. "And this?" she asked, pointing.

Riku chuckled, but answered her question. They sat there for at least an hour, as he named people and explained what was going on in each of the drawings. Namine listened intently, wincing and gasping often. Riku smiled slightly every time she did, because her timing was perfect.

Eventually, he explained every picture she had questions about, explaining a good portion of his past while he was at it. Not all of his past, but a lot of it.

"You're past was horrible…" Namine whispered after a moment, fingering the edges of her sketchbook.

Riku took a second to think about that. "I think it all worked out for the better, though," he said finally.

"You think so?"

"I know so," he said, running a hand through her hair. "Because, you know, if my life hadn't have sucked so bad, I wouldn't have needed a second chance. And if I hadn't have needed a second chance, I would have never come here, and then you wouldn't exist."

"Oh," Namine laughed. "I suppose it did work out then."

"Yup," Riku said with a smile.