"I don't see a reason for worry, Mike. It all sounds harmless enough… eh, a bit strange perhaps, but still minor…" Leonardo was restraining himself from lashing at his youngest brother for disturbing his meditation session with such a diminutive thing as a silly dream. He couldn't believe Michelangelo came to him with this nonsense at a time like this. When their family was in danger. When his (Leo's) only focus as a leader should be in providing and reassuring their safety, not listening to his brother's flashes of imagination…

"But Leo!"

"Get it out of your head, Mikey! We have more crucial things to deal with at the moment!"

"I'm not just… playing around, okay?" The youngest turtle wasn't ready to give up: "It felt weird! It felt.." He pleadingly searched the blue ocean of his brother's eyes, looking for the tiniest light of reliance, but all he saw was a storm taking over, without any chance of escape. Michelangelo sighed and turned his gaze to the floor, drooping his shoulders. A dozen of disappointed dark-green freckles on his puffy cheeks accepted his defeat, "Right… sorry to bother you, bro…" He silently stood up, "Let me know if you change your mind about that massage, 'kay?" - he smiled and turned to leave.

With an indisputable pain in his heart, Leonardo watched his baby-brother's shell, as the latter was walking away and out of the dojo. His brothers have been a constant bother to his leadership responsibilities throughout his life: always nagging, never completely complying, forever complaining… Leonardo loved them with all his heart and soul! But…

Why do they always have to be so thick? So unwilling, so blind, so selfish?! Could they not see the burden that rests upon my shoulders? The great obligation I need to bear… Can't they be a little more supportive, more understanding?!

Leonardo would do anything to keep his family safe, therefore he knew loud and clear, this was not the time for play. Michelangelo's games, however important they may be for him, must be taken out of the equation for the time being. He needed to concentrate on the mission. Center his mind on the task ahead.

Leonardo closed his eyes, forcefully erasing the recent image of this nuisance from his mind.

Relax and Focus. Breathe in… breathe out…

"May I join you, Leonardo?"

Splinter's husky voice came so suddenly and unexpectedly, that the turtle almost jumped out of his shell. The old rat was standing on the tatami right in front of him, in the very same spot where Mikey sat just a few moments ago.

"I can see that I have startled you… " The old rat's gaze was hurriedly becoming worried: "Are you feeling alright, my son?"

"Yes, sensei!" Leo blinked, while shaking his head, "…eh, father…" – he corrected, "I'm fine. I was just thinking… uh, meditating!"

"…about the mission!" The old ninja master inserted, settling down in a lotus position beside his best student. Leo nodded and lowered his gaze, listening in submission.

"Leonardo," - began the rat. Seeing his son's uneasiness, his voice became softer: "We are in an advantage at this point. It is important to preserve the situation as such! The Foot are not aware of our location. They will not come looking for us here…" Warm bony hand softly rested on green shoulder, "Time is on our side, my son!"

"I know, father… but…" Leo's inner turmoil was not only unresolved, but fully aggravated. He couldn't find his usually naturally-obtained balance. Matters of personal nature as well as those considering the safety of the whole clan were eating at his nerves, at his heart, leaving it in pieces at the very bottom of his soul, "Everything needs to be thought through and through. Every little detail! Every bit of the upcoming strategy!" He gazed at his father with troubled apprehension, "My plan must be flawless! I can't let anything slip through my fingers. Too much is on stake!"

"You need to be more attentive to your brothers!" - as if undermining his words, said the wise rat, "…at this very troubling and confusing time they look forward to your guidance and your leadership!" His tone became more rigid: "Even though it may appear otherwise, they need you, Leonardo! And most importantly, you need them! You four are a team, and every single one is an important piece!"

"Of course…" Leo's voice sounded distant and skeptical. He looked down at his legs, intertwined on the tatami.

"... as for Usagi-san…" - added Splinter, silently, as if to himself.

At the mention of ronin's name, Leo sharply jerked his head up, meeting his father's worried expression. His pulse quickened, and for a moment his eyes gave way. Heart, working overtime, pumping blood up to his aching brain, was attempting to jump out of his chest at any given moment… as Splinter continued:

"He has taken your mind off the urgent, blurring your senses, your Daikokkan!" Long clawed fingers tightened up, squeezing green tensed shoulder, as the old wise rat slowly outlined Leonardo's deepest fears, his personal weaknesses, "You are worried about him… afraid… of what he might do! Questioning yourself whether you can trust your gut…" Omnipotent stare peered into fearful blue eyes filled with emotion, "…whether you will lose him… forever…"

The poor turtle didn't know what to think or say… this was as much embarrassing as it was triumphant in his eyes. Diving, and inevitably sinking, into his father's stare, Leonardo was trying to read into this graying furry face of wisdom. What Splinter was saying… what he knew… Leo could only describe the feeling as an incredible nausea suffocating his insides, bringing the anticipated feeling of relief right afterwards.

"Father! I…"

"My son, my beautiful son!" All of a sudden Splinter admiringly touched Leo's cheek with his palm, "I am so proud of you! You found love! And you wisely cherished it against all odds…" Leonardo couldn't believe it, there were rarely seen tears in his father's eyes, "Not everybody's fate is as fortunate as yours, Leonardo. Alas, not as tragic either!" Splinter smiled warmly, and Leonardo realized that his father was not only openly supporting, but in fact encouraging him. They have never before spoken of Usagi in such a straightforward manner. And now his father, his sensei and mentor was distinctly approving of this intricate relationship.

But tender fatherly smile quickly turned into a worried frown: "You must not let him do it, Leonardo! You must save him from himself! For both of your sakes… " Leo's shoulder was now being painfully squeezed, bony arm shaking with tension, "The honor of Junshi is admirable and important, however it is no longer his Giri! I am in no place to tell him that… You on the other hand… You can save him! Do you understand, my son?"

"Yes, father!" Leonardo felt scared. Scared of what his father was implying. Scared of what Usagi might do… Scared of what he himself might do! However, his aching heart and bursting brain were softened by this incredible feeling of closeness and insight with the old wise rat, his teacher, his only parent, the one responsible for everything he came to be. And this unexpected conversation, his father's rash words spoken in the heat of the moment didn't leave any doubt. There was no more confusion. He had to act, he had to do something to avow and protect his relationship with Usagi, to secure their future together.

Long after Splinter has left the dojo, Leo's unrestful mind was working overtime, coming up with crazy, improbable, unrealistic solutions, and immediately turning them down, then coming up with more insanity. He spent hours in the dojo that day, "meditating". And as he was already sure he was about to lose his mind, his redemption came from a place, more than familiar…

A solution may be found closer than he anticipated, as something long neglected suddenly snapped in his mind and Leonardo remembered an almost completely forgotten, almost renounced incident from his past, when he was about 18…

…

"What you saw… What you think you saw, Donnie, it's not… it's not like that!" Leo's voice sounded at the very edge of sanity, out of control.

"Sssorry, Leo! I… I should've knocked!" Donatello shook his head, apologetically looking at his brother: "It was absolutely my fault! Of course I couldn't have known you two were… were there at the first place… sorry, SORRY!"

"Dude…" Leo's panicked gaze drilled the brown depths of his brother's unsettled eyes: "Stop mumbling! And yes, you should've knocked!" He nervously pulled at the blue bandana, hanging loosely form his neck, "I.. I mean, who storms in like that without making sure it's unoccupied first..?! And besides, it wasn't like that! We… we were just…" He sighed, sinking into the couch at the middle of their deserted living-room, pressing his knees to his stomach, "Ah, who am I kidding?!"

The brainiac hesitated, but slowly took several steps closer towards his older brother, who was now holding his head between his hands, heavily breathing and slightly rocking from side to side.

"Leo" - he softly called, as if afraid to set a contingent explosion, "Are you…"

"Donnie, just don't!" - snapped Leonardo, drilling his brother with his eyes: "You weren't supposed to…" He cut himself short and let all the oxygen slowly out of his lungs, calming his demons.

"I saw what I saw… so what?" The genius was a little surprised at his own uncharacteristic bluntness, but went on, seeing how his sibling needed confirmation and support: "It's absolutely natural… a-and scientifically maintained… in fact, as the first, and only, mutant turtle scientist I find this fascinating… I…" But after the fulminant look Leonardo threw at him, his mouth closed as of itself and the first-mutant-turtle-scientist blinked involuntarily, biting his lip, realizing that science may not be the most suitable approach when it came to private feelings. He cautiously smiled in the most reassuring way he was capable of, putting aside the curious scientist in him and tuning onto the brotherly frequency, and seated himself beside his stressed out sibling on the couch: "Leo, it's okay…"

Leonardo sprang back a little: "You're not… disgusted?!" A pair of blue moons studied the expression of the pair of intelligent dark pools of brown, "You're… fine with this?"

Olive-green hand softly touched Leo's shoulder: "Of course I am!" A sweet reassuring smile, "There's nothing to be ashamed of…"

"Who said anything about being ashamed?!" Arrogant enraged tone and threatening flame in his brother's eyes made Donatello flinch and pull his hand away.

"Are you…" A smudge of concern in the most intelligent stare, "Are you alright? Was he… um, did he hurt you in any way, Leo?"

"NO!" This time Leonardo was the one to get a hold of his brother's shoulders, while desperately staring into his eyes: "Shell, Donnie! No! NO!"

Such unprecedented boisterousness in his brother's behavior, always fearless and always in control, never before occurred to Donatello. It was as if a new, yet undiscovered, entity has suddenly took over his brother. Leonardo's alter ego. Sitting in front of him at this moment was not the Leader - assertive and presumptuous, ready to give up his life for the greater good at any moment, but a person willing to listen to his heart, being closely familiar with a different kind of pain… not physical, but inner, the kind of pain which would make anyone vulnerable…

"I see!" The brainiac nodded, reassured. He understood. He supported.

But Leonardo, astonished by that unexpected understanding coming from his brother, felt his body tensing up anew. And feverishly looking for something to say, he distractedly shook his head, releasing his grip and letting his hands drop to his sides. The question, often floating in his mind, keeping him up at nights and frequently not allowing him to focus properly on his training, was right there on the tip of his tongue. He gazed at his intelligent brother, realizing that if anyone, he would be the least harsh on this issue not to mention most helpful. And then all of a sudden it just slipped out: "What's wrong with me?"

Brown eyes carefully studied the pair of blue afflicted waves of insecurity. Donatello was taken aback by that blatant openness his brother suddenly chose to approach the issue with. He readjusted his glasses to buy some time, allowing himself to decide on the proportion of the problem and thinking of the best way of handling it at the given time. Then looking straight into Leo's eyes, he said: "There's nothing wrong with you, of course… biologically speaking…"

Leonardo closed his eyes, hiding away angry tears, "What you saw… Don, that was not… honorable!"

"Leo, why would you think there was something wrong with what you.. eh… were doing?" There was very serious concern on the pale olive-green face, "Isn't everything functioning properly?"

"What?! Jeez, Donnie…" Even though drenched with tears, the patronage of those stormy eyes implicitly stood out.

"I'm only concerned for…"

"IT'S FINE!" Leonardo cut him off in his habitual haughty manner, "Everything is functioning perfectly fine! Alright? Drop it!"

The brainiac rolled his eyes, raising his hands in a gesture of surrender. He was only trying to help, and there it was again: Leonardo was back to his old habitual self - The Leader! As it turned out, his self pride did not allow him this kind of openness, Leo's bossy expression of arrogance looking straight into Don's face was the proof of that. But Leonardo's pupils all of a sudden lost their blue biting fire, inquiring a new transparency focusing on something at the distance. The upper part of his body unwillingly jerked up, as Donatello sensed soft movement behind his shell.

"I am the one to blame for all this, Donatello-san!" Long fluffy ears lay neatly arranged behind the back of a blue kimono top, flawlessly wrapped around broad impregnable chest. A proud and resolute expression upon the rabbit's white furry face was boldly turned towards the braniac: "Your brother did not do anything malign! And I was not intending to harm him in any way, I assure you of that!"

Nervous laugh escaped Donatello's lips as he looked from his brother to the ronin (unable yet to erase what he has witnessed just a few minutes ago) :"Of course not… Usagi-san! I… " He cleared his throat, "I was just telling him that it was all cool... hehe… I mean, it's no problem!" Uncomfortable tension made the brainiac turn his gaze away from the brave ronin, who in his mind was immediately accused and blamed for the whole incident, no matter how he managed to plead his innocence.

"Donnie!" Leonardo's commanding voice brought Donatello back to reality, "No word of this! … to anyone!" With truculent gaze, Leonardo's expression didn't leave any options. He could be very 'persuasive' when he needed to. A short restrained nod, followed by a wave of purple fabric, and a pair of deep brown pools of sincerity and understanding silently brought an end to that discussion.

Donatello was always the most trustworthy brother! He always kept his word…