The Wizarding World was in a panic. The Ministry was on the verge of collapse. And things were changing at Hogwarts.

This was true even when one did not consider the fact that after her fiasco on the grounds with James, even Remus, Sirius, and Peter seemed reluctant to speak to Lily. In her presence, Sirius looked about as offended as he might have had he been the one she'd dumped. With aggravation, Lily remembered a lesson in mid-November, during which Professor Flitwick was assigning pairs to practice Heating Charms.

"Sirius, if you'll pair up with Lily…"

Sirius looked up lazily. "Who?"

Remus took an unmistakably icy tone every time he spoke to her, and this hurt Lily more than she could have anticipated.

Her question about one of life's mysteries had, at least, been answered; yes, boys gossip to their friends about their love lives too.

Nerves were running high enough without Professor Adder towering over the corridors and classrooms, pointing out the Dark Lord's more "valiant" endeavors with very little subtlety and preaching the importance of "cooperation." Most disturbing of all was Dumbledore's recent tendency to spend less and less time at the castle. Many of the students who had grown to idolize their Headmaster had to endure the very disenchanting experience of shaken faith and, what is more, at a time where they needed something to believe in more than ever.

Lily Evans could not be counted among them.

"He's fighting, you mark my words," she declared at a meeting with James and the Prefects in November. "I know we'd all like him to be here, but skill and brains like that aren't much good holed up at Hogwarts when Voldemort's on the loose. He's out there."

"I agree," said Remus thoughtfully. "He's not the sort to sit back and do nothing. I think it's one of the reasons Voldemort's come back even stronger lately."

"Say You-Know-Who, will you?" said Alan Smith with a grimace.

"No, we will not," said Lily, without waiting for Remus to reply. "We stand no chance with that sort of attitude."

Vega Wallace snorted.

"What?" Lily snapped.

"What, you reckon saying his name will give you a chance? Clearly you've no idea what he's capable of, what sort of power—"

"I know what he's capable of," Lily cut in fiercely. "But I won't be intimidated by him. And you might mind your tone, Wallace. You wouldn't want everyone stereotyping you, would you? Just another Slytherin who can hardly contain her admiration when talking about the foulest wizard who's ever lived."

"Oh look here," sneered Vega. "Poor pigeonholed Evans always moaning about prejudice against Muggle-borns, and what's that you just said? Is it a very difficult realization, Evans, when you look in the mirror and find a filthy hypocrite staring back?"

Lily's eyes were slits. "I was only saying," she explained slowly, "That you might take care to control the absolute joy pouring out of you when you talk about the appalling things Voldemort gets up to. This isn't the first time."

"I must say," said James, who was twirling his wand and looking rather bored, "I've lost interest in this digression." His chair was balanced on its back legs and James's feet were crossed on a desk in the empty classroom where they were convened. "We're supposed to be reiterating new security precautions, not having a political debate. Can we get cracking?"

"Well, I'm glad someone agrees with me," said Vega, rolling her eyes.

James leaned forward, and the front legs of his chair clunked against the floor. "I'm sorry—you've misunderstood me. I'm too wound up to talk about Voldemort at the moment and I'll be happy when this meeting is over. But I don't agree with you. And as long as we're all being open, if you have another go at Evans I won't mind releasing a bit of frustration," he said, flicking his wand and smiling ominously.

"Is that a threat, Potter?" Vega spat, leaning forward in her seat.

James shrugged. "Just saying, I've got a lot to offer in the hex department."

"All right, that's quite enough," Lily warned. "Let's move on, shall we?"

Both Lily and James would have liked to say that this kind of confrontation was atypical of their meetings. But the world these days seemed composed of two kinds of people—friends and enemies—and those who were smart chose with meticulous care.

This was the very reason that—at odds though they were regarding more personal matters—James and Lily were nonverbally but undeniably part of a scarce bond that revealed itself now and again at Hogwarts: step on one's toes, and inevitably find yourself at risk of drawing wands with the other.

Probably no one at Hogwarts fell into this category more than the marauders. Their camaraderie manifested hilariously in their refusal to listen to any of Adder's rubbish, though the pressure he'd put on the school did create a fissure in their relationship with Peter. James was unsure if he'd ever forgive him when he said, "Wouldn't life just be easier if we just did what he said? I mean,we don't have to agree with him to just shut up and do what he says, you know, just to make things easier. Right?"

Adder's imposition upon Hogwarts was the reason that James, Sirius, and Remus spent more time than ever in detention, courtesy Professor Adder. "Interesting," came Professor Adder's sour tones, "that I am constantly having to reprimand Remus Lupin, a Prefect, and James Potter, Head Boy of Hogwarts. Remind me—who delegates these clearly very momentous responsibilities?"

"Professor Dumbledore," James said proudly.

Professor Adder smiled frostily. "Well, then, on your third detention this week, you must agree—Dumbledore seems to be going a bit potty. Don't you agree, Potter?"

Even Sirius agreed that it was taking a bit of a risk for James to spit at Adder's feet, but there he was.

Peculiarly, it seemed the more detentions Professor Adder awarded them and the more points he deducted from Gryffindor—whether for speaking their minds or rebelling in some hilarious way—the less likely Minerva McGonagall was to punish them for anything at all. Indeed, there seemed to be an unspoken agreement between Professors Flitwick, Sprout, Vector, Burbage, and McGonagall to allow James, Sirius, and Remus do whatever they pleased as long as they took care to give Professor Adder hell.

For this reason, James came bounding into Transfiguration one morning and shouted, "Happy Anniversary, Professor!"

Professor McGonagall looked up and raised an eyebrow. "I beg your pardon, Potter?"

"He meant monthiversary, really, Professor," Sirius clarified, as though no further explanation was necessary. Remus was shaking his head, already at his desk and very pink in the face.

She raised both eyebrows indifferently at the inexplicably beaming Gryffindors.

"It's been a month since you've given us detentions!"

"A whole month! That's never happened!"

"We knew you loved us all along, really, Professor."

"It might as well be chocolates and a rose, as far as we're concerned."

"You old dear!"

"Old?" said Professor McGonagall dangerously.

"Er—well, happy anniversary anyway, Professor." The boys shuffled off to their seats.

Lily could swear Professor McGonagall had to fight a smile as she began the lesson.

As far as James and Lily were concerned, the former seemed unlikely ever to forgive the latter for "messing him around," as he so obnoxiously put it. Any time Lily found herself in James' presence, she was often unable to decide whether she wanted to hex his lights out or snog him to within an inch of his life. The rather complicated matter was that it was not out of the ordinary for her to act on either impulse, and James, naturally, could not help but notice.

These days, it was odd for Lily to do anything without James fitting in some obnoxious comment or other about her hopelessly shifting feelings about their relationship. At dinner one Friday evening, Lily nudged Sirius. "Pass the pumpkin juice?"

Sirius reached across the table for the pumpkin juice when James interjected, without looking up from his plate, "Pass her the water pitcher."

Sirius froze awkwardly. "She's just asked for the pumpkin juice, mate."

"Nah, she'll change her mind in a minute." He continued chewing his pie.

The people sitting between them giggled awkwardly, but even Sirius seemed to think James had crossed the line. When he passed Lily the pumpkin juice, he did so with an apologetic shrug and, for once, did not join in with the laughter.

Lily poured her drink with a heavy, angry hand, letting the juice slop into the glass and splash several people—including Sirius—as she shot James a dirty look.

She drank, thinking bitterly that now Potter mentioned it, a glass of cold water would really go down a treat.

What certainly did not help was that Lily was almost certain she hadn't spoken a word to Libby in weeks. Even more infuriating was the fact that Libby and James seemed to be getting along swimmingly.

"It's Quidditch," said Maggie, nodding wisely. "Lads like James will do anything for Quidditch. You've got to remember, they've survived a whole breakup. In the name of Quidditch."

Lily was so tightly wound these days she thought she might snap. She nearly did too, one day in Professor Adder's lesson. It was the last lesson of a very long day, and Adder had cut his lecture short in order to make an announcement.

"I'm sure many of you have heard whispers of a winter ball this term. I am very pleased to confirm these rumors!"

Lily furrowed her brow. Professor Adder? Hosting a ball? She snuck a glance at Remus. He raised an eyebrow.

"Yes, very exciting," said Professor Adder. "Most exciting of all will be some of our guests of honor. Melvin Hornsby, for one."

"Melvin Hornsby?" said Jasper. "The Imperius bloke?"

"He has advocated relaxing some of the restrictions on the spell, yes."

"The curse, you mean," Lily rolled her eyes.

"Miss Evans, Melvin Hornsby is valuable for more than his stance on Unforgiveable Curses, and might I mention that there is a time and a place for such things. If relaxing restrictions on the Imperius Curse allows us to gain important insights, then perhaps we ought to open our minds. In light of your rather…ah, recent integration into the Wizarding World, I will forgive your ignorance."

"I'm not ignorant," said Lily, already feeling her skin burn with anger, "I might be Muggle-born, but I'm not an idiot."

"Prove it then, by respecting those ranking higher than yourself. Head Girl doesn't mean much, Evans, if your counterpart is anything like what Dumbledore normally chooses to represent the student body." He sneered at James.

Lily wasn't listening. "…'Hornsby is valuable for more than his stance… valuable? Really? Appraising people like stones and metals again. Honestly!"

"For the last time, Miss Evans, a Defense Against the Dark Arts lesson is no place to vent your frustrations."

"A Defense Against the Dark Arts Lesson? Ha!"

Adder glared at Lily. "Clearly you have something to say. Well, then, if you insist on eating into everyone's educational schedule, you have the podium. Go on." He folded his arms.

Lily huffed. "I think it's ridiculous that we're having a ball in the middle of a war." Several people gasped. "That's right, we're in open war, and those too blind or too stupid to see it deserve the shock that's coming to them."

"What delusions are these now, Miss Evans? War? Where are the battlefields, I wonder?" Several students laughed.

"Anywhere there's a witch or wizard in existence it seems. And you want to have some stupid ball to give us an opportunity to mix with your evil mates. Death Eaters probably."

There was a loud, collective gasp, then shivering silence. After a while, Adder spoke. "That is a very serious accusation, Miss Evans. I would bite my tongue if I were you."

Lily seemed partly in agreement, but continued anyway. "I wonder what Professor Dumbledore has to say about this ball."

Adder smiled. "Well. As you would find if you made the trip to his office, Professor Dumbledore is not here. He seems to have realized the error in his ways, being so difficult when it comes to the Ministry. And I'll have you know that this ball has been Ministry-approved. Over Dumbledore's head." He smiled coldly. "Good for morale, you see."

"Morale," Lily scoffed, but she found herself so enraged she could barely put words together.

"What's that, Evans?"

"I'm not stupid, you know. You think you can shove all of this Ministry approval rubbish under my nose and I'll think, ok, no problem, as long as the Ministry thinks it's all right. But the Ministry approved those attacks on innocent Muggles last Spring, and if you think that just because I'm Muggle-born I'm stupid enough—"

"You see," said Adder, talking loudly over Lily. "That is the problem with your lot. You Muggle-borns are so wrapped up in defending yourselves, defending your magical ability, defending your right to even exist amongst us…" he chuckled coldly again. "Well, you neglect to actually prove any of it. A lot of talk, very little action. It's very sad."

Fury lashed at Lily's insides. She opened her mouth, and she was sure that the wildest and most vile insults were a split second from tumbling out of her…

And suddenly, an invisible hand clapped over her mouth. Her body felt rigid, unmovable, and she sunk into her chair, completely mute and utterly confused.

"Well," Professor Adder hummed, "It looks as if someone has finally decided to see sense. It is usually best to bite one's tongue in such cases, Ms. Evans, at least until one has attained a solid grasp on reality."

Lily remained mute. She could say nothing.

As class resumed, Lily very gradually regained her facilities. The moment had passed to come back at Adder, but a new purpose occupied her attention. What had just happened?

She looked around, and as her eyes passed over James—seated several places in front of her and a bit to the right—she caught it; very stealthily, he pocketed the wand that had just been pointing in her direction.

She bit her tongue through the remainder of the lesson, hardly paying attention to Professor Adder. The moment class was dismissed, she darted after James and was able to catch up with him several paces down the corridor. She grabbed his arm and yanked, causing him to unexpectedly stop dead, and a small first year girl slammed into his back and toppled over.

Flustered, Lily helped the girl to her feet apologetically. When she scurried off, Lily glared at James.

"Come on," she commanded, stalking off.

"Huh?"

She doubled back and grabbed at his arm again. "Get in here." She dragged him into an empty classroom, then faced him with her hand on her hips.

He rubbed his forearm absently.

"What've you done?" she demanded, crossing her arms.

"Why is everyone always asking me that? Honestly, if I had a Sickle for every time someone asked—"

"Cut the crap, Potter. You immobilized me!"

"You don't say," he replied dryly.

"Why'd you do that?"

"Because, Evans, the last place you need to be right now is under Adder's skin. And I wouldn't put it past him to draw wands, and I'd rather not spend the rest of my life in Azkaban for murder. I'm only young."

"You think I can't handle myself?"

"It's not a question of whether you can handle yourself."

"It is!"

"Of course I think you can handle yourself, but that doesn't mean you should be stirring certain pots," he replied.

"I wasn't stirring any pot."

"You were. You're very hot headed," he grinned.

"Well, it was none of your business."

"Of course it was my business."

"It absolutely was not."

"He was having a go at you," James shrugged.

"Exactly why I wasn't going to just lie down and take it! But that doesn't make it your business."

"Evans, you are thick as shit sometimes. If someone has a go at you, it's my business."

Lily huffed, throwing her arms in the air and finding herself very unsure what to do with them. She stammered for a moment and glanced around as if searching for someone to agree that James was out of line. "You're so—you—you don't have to swoop in and rescue me every time something unpleasant happens!"

"Yeah, I do."

"No, you don't."

"Can't help it," he shrugged.

"I can handle myself."

"I know that."

Then don't bother in future!"

"Will you get over it?" he mumbled, ruffling his hair.

Lily shouted her retort, and James came back at her, getting moody now, and Lily, fuming, shouted over him as the color rose in both Gryffindors' faces. At which point the intensity of the argument resulted in James and Lily being attached at the mouth, Lily could not remember.

"God you're annoying," she panted

"Mhm."

"I've got to—meet Alice."

"Yeah—I've got practice—anyway."

"'Alright."

But neither of them went anywhere.

Lily could not be sure if she was immensely happy or incredibly annoyed that this had become typical of their relationship.

On the first Saturday of December, the Gryffindors had won a well-rehearsed Quidditch match against Hufflepuff. Yet Lily had never seen the team look less in the mood to celebrate.

Libby came into the Common Room, enjoyed the victory reception, and immediately approached Lily. "Will you come upstairs with me?"

It was strange how Lily did not realize, until that very moment, that she'd been waiting weeks for this. Nor did she notice, until that very moment, how deeply she missed her friend. She nodded.

The girls' dormitory was quiet, save for the muffled sounds of the celebration below. Libby paced for a moment, plucking at her wrist guard for a minute before she finally spoke.

"First of all—I'm sorry."

Lily smiled, shocked inside at how easily she was willing to forgive Libby.

"No—listen. I was horrible. I've been putting off apologizing to you because I can hardly face how really horrible I was. I'm…well…it's embarrassing."

Lily took Libby's hand and pulled her near her bed. They sat, and Lily took a deep breath. "It's alright. I know you really…liked him."

Libby laughed bitterly, then sighed. "Honestly, I sort of always knew you were going to forgive me for that. Because you're lovely that way. But I still…I feel like I need to explain myself."

Lily nodded.

"I want you to know that I knew…even before anything happened between you two…just…I sort of hoped that he'd realize…I just, I guess I didn't get it, you know? How you two could…and I don't mean anything by it, it's just that you're so different. I dunno, I suppose it doesn't matter."

"Libbs?"

"Yeah?"

"You're talking rubbish."

Libby laughed, and so did Lily. "Alright. I suppose you're right. But listen, the point is—I know I went a bit…well, mental. And I'm so sorry. I really am. And I've said this to James and I want to tell you-I know you two are mad about each other. And I don't want you to think you need to tiptoe around me. Honestly. I've apologized to him and I really need you to forgive me too."

Lily sighed. "I do Libby. But…I don't think James and I are going to be together."

Libby blinked. "Why?"

"I dunno. It's complicated I guess. I think he…I mean, you were right…he just wants what he can't have.

"Ah, Lily," said Libby, burying her face in her hands. "Don't make me feel like the worst person ever."

"Sorry," Lily tried to laugh. "But you were right. We're not…we don't make sense."

Libby looked up again. "God. It's mad the way you two carry on, too afraid to tell each other what you really want, so people like me and Jasper just get dragged in the mud like a couple of hopeless little admirers. I used to think you two made no sense together but I see it now. You DESERVE each other."

Lily laughed.

"Honestly, Lily…maybe it doesn't look right on paper...but in reality…it's just…well, right."

Lily shook her head. "Well, don't let Portia Vane overhear you saying that."

"Ah, come on Lily, he's just a bit flirty with her out of sheer boredom. Just because she fancies him rotten doesn't mean he gives a rat's…"

"You know him, though. Probably getting off with her behind the broom sheds at lunch."

Libby paused. "Aren't you seeing him though?"

"No. Well, a bit. I dunno."

She smiled. "Look, if he's seeing you, he's not seeing anyone else."

Libby got up and began to change into pajamas. She spoke again when she finished. "So, today in the changing rooms we were all talking. Potter and Belby reckon we ought to go to the ball. Be a good place to have an eye out, you know? If you're right, and Adder has got some dodgy people going—excellent telling-off the other day, by the way, been meaning to tell you—it'll be pretty enlightening. Anyway, I think you should ask James."

Lily snorted.

"You should though, Lily," she said, sitting down. "Just get married already," she laughed.

"Right," Lily scoffed. "I'm sure he'll pencil our wedding in between a date with Portia Vane and shagging Myra Proust."

"Myra Proust? Are you just making things up now?"

"I dunno," Lily rolled her eyes. "I just…I think I need to just forget about him."

Libby stared at her. "Blimey. You just don't get it about James, do you? You're it for him, Lily. Why do you think we broke up?"

Lily didn't know what to say.