A Month of Sundays

by marziipan

How does Lily discover her buried feelings for James Potter? Picks up from James's and Lily's 5th year, shortly after Lily ends her friendship with Snape.

23. End All, Be All

Here was the strange thing about the adolescent mind: with war on the horizon as certainly as Christmas was, and with the recent and unexplained disappearances of three wizards and witches in the past two weeks, all most people could talk about at Hogwarts was the winter ball.

Lily, for her part, was staunchly against attending, certain that complying with any of Professor Adder's wishes would constitute ceding to his manifestly pro-Voldemort sympathies. However, as James had recently convinced her, since Professor Dumbledore had responded warmly to the idea—surely with some ulterior motive—and suggested that all the students don another House's colors in the spirit of solidarity, she decided to go.

And probably alone. She was not sure how to interact with James anymore, and the result was that all of their communication was stuffy, almost professional. James seemed to be in a perpetual state of deep irritation in her presence, seeming determined to make it clear that any hope for friendship had been completely demolished.

Only three days before the ball, Lily was certain James had not asked anyone. Although Portia Vane had been lingering hopefully behind at lessons to walk along with James, Sirius, Remus, and Peter, she had not asked him herself. So after a discussion with the Prefects about maintaining friendly inter-House relations, Lily waited for Remus to turn off for the library, and struggled to catch up with James on the way to the Gryffindor Common Room, as he had lately taken to nearly speed-walking away from meetings.

Lily cleared her throat, nearly skipping behind him to keep up.

James did not turn around, but Lily was sure he slowed his pace marginally. "What's up, Evans?" he asked in a bored voice.

Lily rolled her eyes, but took wider steps, determined to keep up with him. "I was erm—thinking about the ball," she said lamely.

James's chuckled condescendingly. "You ought to relax about that, you know. Going to a ball Adder's arranged isn't going to make you a Death Eater. Loads of people do things like this, doesn't make them turncoats. Keep your friends close and your enemies closer, that sort of thing…"

Lily skipped ahead, only a few feet behind James now. "Actually," she said, getting breathless now, "I've decided to go. I was sort of wondering whether you'd asked anyone to go with you yet."

James slowed, then stopped. He turned on his heel, and Lily saw that his face appeared as bored as his voice had sounded. "You know I haven't."

"Right." Lily watched James eye her face, very aware that her cheeks were going red.

"I figured there'd be no point asking you," James added with an odd mixture of callousness and sheepishness.

Lily nodded. Then, in an overly dignified voice she said, "Well, actually—I thought perhaps we could go together. As Hogwarts Head Students."

James reacted favorably to the first half of her statement, then quickly looked surly again. "Evans, you can come with me as my girlfriend, but you can sod off with your Head Student rubbish."

Lily folded her arms. "Can't we just?—"

"No."

"Fine, I'll just go alone then."

"Well if you're not coming with me you'd better be going alone."

"Well, I am."

"Well, fine." James turned around again and continued walking.

"Fine," Lily muttered, beginning to walk again. Then, before she was even aware what she was doing, she reached for his arm and tugged at his shirt. When he turned around again, Lily was sure there was a small smile on his lips. "Are you going to go alone?"

James raised an eyebrow. "Are you going to come with me?"

Lily's eyes narrowed. "No."

"Then I suppose I am," he answered irritably.

Lily started up the staircase, then doubled back, huffing. "Damn it, Potter. Just—go with me."

"I said I would," he answered pleasantly. "As your boyfriend."

"Fine then, come with me as my boyfriend. But I'm breaking up with you at the end of the night." Lily made her way up the staircase again. "And do something with your hair at least," she barked without turning around.

"No point," said James, cutting her off near the top of the stairs and laying his lips on hers. James flashed his most mischievous smirk and continued, "I know how you like to grab it." And he dashed up the rest of the stairs.

Two weeks before the Christmas holidays, Lily selected—she was certain James had probably guessed—a set of deep green robes for the ball, and had charmed the usually sage green accents in favor of shimmering silver. When she entered the Common Room she was surprised to find Libby clinging to Jasper Podmore's arm. She was red-cheeked as she smiled at Lily, shrugging slightly in her electric blue gown which matched Jasper's hair to a tee. She was pleased; they did look very nice together.

James looked irritatingly handsome in solid black robes with a yellow tie and waistcoat, despite making his grand entrance from the boys' dormitory by tumbling down the stairs in a scuffle with Peter. He grasped Lily's hand tightly as they made their way out of the Common Room and into the Great Hall, and this made Lily's stomach do very strange things.

The Great Hall was dimly lit, and the floating candles overhead had been replaced with sparkling snowflakes. Icicles hung from the pictures, the molding, and the candle fixtures on the walls, and Paris Young—whom Lily had no idea was not actually a Muggle—stood at the center of the Great Hall to serenade the crowd, accompanied by three other men on instruments.

Then, to Lily's horror, she and James received a heart-stopping glare from the young man hovering near the doorway.

His black eyes fixed on James and Lily's interlocked fingers, Severus looked murderous. On instinct it seemed, James reacted to Snape's gaze as if he'd been shoved. Composing himself quickly, James winked. "All right, Snivelly?"

Lily flushed and nudged James, unable to meet Severus's eyes. When she attempted to pry her fingers away from James's, he held them more tightly.

Severus ignored this and looked at Lily. But when she returned his stare, he looked away.

Lily was determined not to let him upset her. Severus had been a good friend and confidant once, but what had he ever really given her other than anxiety and worry, whether over his dark future or the people who he'd associate with who'd always made her feel so unwelcome, even threatened? When they were alone, he treated her as if she was a piece of his property, and when his friends were around he acted ashamed to know her. Yet there he stood, brazen resentment painting his face, and the idea that he felt entitled to look at James as if he were a piece of scum hanging off Lily's hand infuriated her.

So she held James's hand more tightly, too. She raised her chin, looked straight ahead, and walked past Snape with Sirius, Peter, Remus, Libby, Alice, Frank, and Maggie—her real friends—in her wake.

"All right, Trouble?"

"Hm?"

James chuckled. "Sitting on an egg over there? Reliving your last Ancient Runes exam?" He sipped his punch.

"No, actually—I was trying to hear what Adder's saying to Dumbledore," Lily murmured. "Cheers, though, for talking over them," she smirked.

James rolled his eyes. "They're talking about the Ministry's stance on the rights of House Elves." He leaned very close to her face. "Nothing new."

Lily looked up, her eyes wide. "Potter! You reek!"

"Cheers, Evans."

"No, I mean—have you been drinking?"

"Me, drinking? Course not."

Lily grabbed the front of his robes and dragged him even closer to her, inhaling. "I can smell it, you idiot."

"Oh, alright then, so what? We've all had a few."

"No, we haven't," she said pointedly. "Where'd you even get that?"

"From Madam Rosmerta. Came prepared!" He extracted a flask from the inside pocket of his robes and made to tip it over her punch. He looked up, searching her face for approval.

Lily bit her lip.

James grinned, lifting his hand to caress her chin with his thumb. "Go on—even Moony's partaking."

Lily looked up, searching the packed room for Remus. As if he knew what they were talking about, Remus smiled at Lily and lifted his glass to her. She looked back at James.

"Go on then," she smiled. "All right…that's plenty…I said that's plenty! James, for Heaven's sake, that's enough!"

James laughed. "Lighten up, Head Girl, and come have a dance."

And they did dance. In fact, Lily danced herself to the point of exhaustion with Sirius, Remus, Frank, Peter, Jasper, and—of course—James for nearly an hour straight. She'd nearly forgotten about Adder entirely.

Severus stole his moment when James was chatting to Jack and Gwenog. Lily, Libby, Maggie, and Alice had chosen seats at one of the round tables in the Hall when Snape approached them.

"Can I have a moment?" he murmured, only looking at her.

She got up and followed Severus toward the edge of the mass of dancing students during one of Paris Young's slower numbers. She placed one hand lightly on one of his shoulders as he awkwardly took hold of the other. He did not place a hand on her waist.

"Come here with Potter, did you?" he hissed.

Lily laughed bitterly. "We don't speak in ages, and yet I'm not at all surprised that the first words out of your mouth have something to do with James."

"James," Severus sneered. In unison, they looked in the direction of the Gryffindor in question. He was watching them, still as stone, eyes narrowed.

This seems to amuse Severus. "I suppose I shouldn't be surprised either," he sneered. "Potter usually has his way."

Lily knew Severus was waiting for her to contradict him, but she would not give him the satisfaction.

"And I can see you're still determined against our…friendship." It was more a question than an observation.

"Still hanging around with Death Eaters?" Lily asked cheerfully.

Severus did not address this. "I was hoping we could be civil, Lily. Because I need to warn you."

"Warn me?" Lily laughed. "By asking about my love life?"

"Never mind." he said. "I…well, I'd heard about what happened to your parents."

Lily looked down. "Severus…I—I can't—"

"—talk about it, I know. But I wanted to say that…my thoughts…have been with you since. Constantly." Severus seemed to be taking great pains to get these words out. "Truly, you have my—very deepest sympathies. And…when the time comes…if you ever should wish to talk about it…when you're ready…"

"Er. Thank you."

A new song started, but they no longer danced.

Lily searched Severus's face. "Sorry—what exactly did you want to warn me about?"

He sighed. "Well, as I say, I know what happened to your parents. I also know your plans for after Hogwarts."

"What do you know about my plans?" she hissed.

"I know that they are identical to Potter's."

It took Lily a moment to understand what on earth Severus could be speaking this ominously about. "Severus—if you're talking about the Order of the Phoenix—"

"I beg you, Lily—don't do it."

"I have to fight."

"An organization like the Order is fine for people like Dumbledore, or Potter, or Black. They'll realize it's hopeless and the Dark Lord will welcome their service when it's over. But you, Lily—"

"Sorry—you claim to be sorry about what happened to my mum and dad, but you think fighting that sort of injustice is hopeless?"

Severus rolled his eyes, as if Lily had drawn a completely nonsensical conclusion. "The Dark Lord did not order the attacks on those Muggles."

"He had them locked away like experiments!"

"But if the public had allowed these tests—"

"What tests? It's ridiculous! And I can't believe I'm standing here talking to you—once again—when you support the regime responsible for my parents being holed up at St. Mungo's right now!"

"What happened to those Muggles would not have happened had their families been willing to cooperate with the Ministry. You cannot come within such close proximity to Dementors, attacking them at will, and expect anything else."

Absolutely furious, Lily made to retort, and in the same instant, James appeared at her side as if out of thin air. "Everything alright over here?"

Lily realized that it had probably been obvious to anyone nearby how heated their conversation had become.

"It's none of your business," Severus spat through clenched teeth.

James didn't even look at him.

"James, I'd like another moment alone with Severus."

James looked between them for another few seconds before he retreated to their table, still watching them.

Severus waited until James was completely out of earshot before continuing. "My point in all of this is ...I'd hate to see you put in a dangerous position. And hanging around people who shout about how much they want to fight the Dark Lord is dangerous."

"How like you," she replied, shaking her head, "to warn me about something you can hardly wait to participate in."

Severus pursed his lips.

"The thing is, Severus…I'm like you. I can't stand on the middle ground waiting for something to happen, or not to happen. I want to be in it. Really—in the thick of it. Even if you're certain it's hopeless."

He shook his head sadly. "Then you're marked."

"I suppose you are too," she shrugged, her eyes glancing over his left arm.

"There are no marks on my skin."

"Second thoughts?"

"No…the Dark Lord wishes…for us to have left school."

"Oh, Severus," Lily whispered. She looked down and let go of him. She shook her head, looking up. "I should get back to my friends now."

"Yes. You'd better get back to Potter before he becomes distracted."

Lily watched James accept another glass of punch from Portia and her friends. But as he stole a glance at her and Severus, she knew he'd never stopped watching them.

She walked swiftly away from Severus, and James met her on the way back to their table.

"What did he want?"

"I'd rather not discuss it."

James put his arm around her. "Alright then. It's just, you seemed to be getting a bit…" He swayed on the spot.

Lily furrowed her brow. "You alright?"

"Yeah….yeah, sorry. You seemed to be getting a bit heated. Is what…what I meant." He blinked.

"How much have you had, Potter?"

He fixed his rather intense gaze on Lily, but very slowly it became more unfocused. Just then, Sirius slapped him on the back.

"Oi, Prongsie! Not throwing a wobbly over Snivellus, are you?"

"No, but I think Portia might have dumped about a litre of rum in his punch," Lily giggled.

"God, Lily," snapped James, his eyes locking with hers. "Don't have a go at Portia. Why are you always having a go at her?"

Lily was stung. "I've never had a go at Portia, and I'm not doing it now."

"You have, and you are. She's a really lovely girl, she doesn't deserve that."

Sirius looked uncomfortable. "Er…mate? What are you talking about?"

"It's jealousy, that's what it is. Women."

Lily and Sirius stared warily at one another, and suddenly, Lily understood something. "James…is this because I was talking to Severus before? Because really, it was nothing. You should calm—"

"What do I care about old Snivelly?" James snapped. "Spend all night with him if you like, but lay off Portia." He looked around distractedly. "I should probably find her—she'll be wondering where I've—"

"Whooooaaaa, hold it right there, Potty," said Sirius, grabbing hold of James's robes and pulling him back.

"What are you doing? Cut it out!" James yelled.

"Ah, Moony?" Sirius hollered as James attempted to draw his wand, "A little help?"

But James had begun struggling in earnest now.

"I think—he's—a bit—put out about—Lily—dancing—with—Snape," Sirius struggled to say while wrestling James. "And now he wants to do something stupid."

"Er…what?" said Remus, grabbing one of James's arms so Sirius could grab the other, keeping him still.

"I dunno, lead Portia on or something."

"I don't want to lead her on!" James bellowed, causing Lily to take several paces back. "I've never told any of you this but I'm—I'm in love with her."

"What!" yelped Sirius, Remus, and Lily in unison. Lily immediately felt overcome by the urge to either burst into tears or punch James in the face.

Sirius rolled his eyes then. "You're not in love with Portia Vane, you idiot, you're in love with Lily."

"In love with me?" she spluttered.

James shrugged Sirius off, grunting. "No, you haven't been listening. I love Portia. Lily is just being jealous about Portia and making snide comments about her." He turned to look at Lily. "You've always been jealous of how I feel about her."

Lily's mouth fell open.

"Okay, okay," said Remus. "Everyone just…calm down a bit." He took James by the shoulders and looked him in the eyes. The bespectacled Gryffindor raised an eyebrow and ruffled his hair impatiently. "You drunk, mate?" Remus asked.

James shrugged him off too. "I'm not—why is everyone—" he sighed angrily, "I'm not drunk, all right?" Remus and Sirius started at each other, dumbfounded. To Lily's horror, James took this opportunity to run like mad. Sirius was quickly at James's heels as the latter made his way toward Portia.

All at once, the truth dawned on Lily. Without thinking, Lily fired a freezing spell, hitting James only a moment before he'd barreled into Portia, who was dancing with her friends. Some of the surrounding students laughed, then quickly turned their attentions back to dancing. People hardly paid attention—thinking it was another prank in the making, more than likely—when Sirius and Remus lifted the frozen James by his elbows, and Lily followed them as they took him to the far end of the Great Hall, very close to the door in case they had to make a quick exit.

"Guys," panted Lily. "It's because he's drunk some—"

But James, free from the Freezing spell, belllowed "I'M NOT DRUNK, ALL RIGHT?"

"Look, mate, maybe we all ought to head back up to Gryffindor Tower. You're obviously not feeling well," said Remus.

"I don't want to go anywhere with her," James spat, pointing at Lily. "I want to go be with Portia. It kills me to be away from her," he said, with such passion and desperation it looked like he might cry.

Remus rolled his eyes. "James, listen. Did you drink—?"

"WHY DOES EVERYONE THINK I HAVE TO BE DRUNK TO LOVE PORTIA? SHE'S PERFECT!"

He got away again. Lily watched in horror as James shoved anyone in his way on his path to get to Portia, and Sirius wasn't fast enough this time. James slammed into Portia, and the only thing keeping her from crashing to the floor was the wall behind her. James enveloped the stunned girl in his arms and kissed her clean on the mouth.

Lily had to find Professor Slughorn. She darted through the sea of merry-makers before she found him, twirling Professor Sprout in the middle of the dance floor. "Professor Slughorn! I need your help!"

He looked curiously at Lily, gave Professor Sprout a little bow and followed her.

"Miss Evans, what on earth—?"

"I think James Potter's ingested a love potion! Professor, have you got an antidote?"

He looked rather crestfallen. "That's all, is it?"

"Yes—please—"

"Got to tell you, Lily, a love potion would have worn off by now. I think it's time to accept that you're—well—stuck with him—at least until gradua—"

"No, no!" she said, frustrated. "I think someone's just given him one, this evening!" Suddenly she felt so angry at Portia Vane that James, in his present state, would have hexed her to death could he hear what she thought of Portia.

"Oh! Right then…"

"Shall we…?" Lily gestured to where James was making quite a spectacle of himself, kneeling in front of Portia, arms outstretched, saying Merlin knew what.

It was a mess getting him up to Professor Slughorn's office. Lily confronted Portia, which forced her friends to admit that they—not Portia—had slipped him a love potion with a bit of Portia's hair in it because they thought "it would be a laugh." Portia looked humiliated, but Lily didn't take the time to apologize for shouting at her. She dragged James off.

"Do I get to see her again later?" James asked dazedly.

"Yes," mumbled Lily. "She says she wants you to sober up first though."

Sirius's face broke into silent laughter.

"I'm not bloody drunk," James argued. As they turned down toward the dungeons, Professor Slughorn leading the way as Sirius and Remus flanked James like bodyguards, James said, "Didn't Portia look amazing tonight? Ahh…she's so perfect."

"Yeah, perfect," said Sirius, rolling his eyes.

"And we matched. Did you notice we matched?"

Remus chuckled. "Yeah, it was...er…really something."

As they walked into Professor Slughorn's office, James seemed to be becoming delirious with lovesickness. He kept laughing and laughing, until Professor Slughorn rather forcefully tilted his head back and poured some potion directly into his mouth.

James's face held a manic smile for several seconds longer until, very suddenly, it wilted more quickly than a garden in the desert.

"He'll be fine. I really should be getting back," said Professor Slughorn a bit moodily. "Close the door behind you, will you?" And he left the office.

James looked around, eyes wide, as if reabsorbing the night's events.

"Come on Sirius," said Remus, tugging at his friend's shirt.

"No," whined Sirius quietly, he'll be alright in a minute and we've got to—"

Remus dragged him to his feet and toward the door. "Will—you—just—come—on…"

When the door closed, Lily looked at James. His head was in his hands.

Sensing that he had her full attention now, he demanded, "What the hell happened?"

"Portia's friends gave you a love potion—for a laugh. So, erm…you've just spent the past ten or fifteen minutes madly in love with Portia."

"Christ," James mumbled. "Did everything I think happened…I mean…did all of that really…? Ugh, what did I do?"

"Well, you snogged her in front of the entire Great Hall," Lily offered. "And you may have proposed, but I'm not entirely sure."

"Yeah, cheers, Evans. Got it."

Lily stood. "Listen, as long as you're all right, I'm going to head to bed. This evening has just been…too much. I'll see you tomorrow or something. Keep an ear out for anything that happens with Adder for me."

Before she got to the door, James said her name. "Can you just…maybe not leave yet? I feel really…awful."

"So do I," said Lily, not turning around. "But I want to be in Gryffindor tower now."

"Well can I walk with you?"

Lily shrugged. She heard him get up.

The truth was, Lily wondered how so many things could keep getting between her and James. Was this a sign? When she vocalized this as she climbed into the Portrait Hole, James laughed.

"I suppose you could look at it that way. Or you can look at it like…well, we still like each other right? Even though so much has gotten in the way?" He smiled hopefully.

Lily sat down in the empty Common Room, her emerald gown fanning across a loveseat. She caught James eyeing her rather more lasciviously than she felt the evening's circumstances called for. "Oh, James, this is just too much. This shouldn't be so hard," she said, shaking her head sadly.

"I agree," James shrugged. "What happened tonight—it was awful—but—so what? We can come back from this."

"Come back to what though?" Lily laughed. "We're not even…" she sighed. "Listen…I know this wasn't your fault. But I feel like I need to go lie down. Really."

James looked down.

"Goodnight, James," she said, and without another word, she went up to the girls' dormitory.

A week left before the Christmas holidays, close to seven in the evening, Lily and James were very unexpectedly called into Professor Dumbledore's office. On his desk sat the Evening Prophet, and he'd opened it to a page about an anti-Voldemort Ministry official who'd come home recently to find the Dark Mark hovering over his house, which he'd shared with his wife and two toddler sons.

Professor Dumbledore looked grimmer than Lily had ever seen him, and he drew a long, weary breath before speaking.

"Thank you for coming so promptly." He pinched the bridge of his crooked nose for a moment, then continued, "As I am sure the two of you are aware, Lord Voldemort has gained considerable power over the past couple of years. His allies have nearly doubled in number since last year alone."

James and Lily absorbed this, alarmed but composed.

"As leaders of the student body, I would not be surprised if some of them, particularly younger students, come to you with questions. I will suggest you be as informative as you can without causing alarm. And though I am sure we are like-minded in that we wish to work against this very dangerous wizard, I must implore you—do not roam the castle shouting about your loyalties, and any plans for resistance must be kept safely under your hat until the time is right. Though I am confident in your safety as long as you remain inside these castle walls, I cannot guarantee that you can put your faith in everyone that dwells within them."

James and Lily shared a fleeting glance, then nodded at their headmaster.

"Thank you. I know you will do Hogwarts proud. James, you may return to dinner. Lily, a quick word."

James glanced curiously between the two before heading out.

Dumbledore rose from his seat and turned away from Lily, gazing at a ruby-encrusted sword hanging from the wall. "Miss Evans, remind me—when you arrived at Hogwarts over six years ago, to which House did the Sorting Hat delegate your considerable wit and skill?"

Lily was confused. "Gryffindor, sir, of course."

Dumbledore chuckled. "'Of course' indeed, Miss Evans. Excellent choice of words."

"Er…sorry sir, but…I don't understand."

He turned to face her again, but remained standing. "Enlighten me—which qualities did Godric Gryffindor value most of all in his students?"

"Truth...chivalry…courage—"

"Ah," he cried gently, "courage..."

"Sir?" Lily sat closer to the edge of her chair as Dumbledore took his seat again.

"Lily. You were placed into Gryffindor House, and for good reason. Over the past six years, apart from displaying exemplary magic, you have led your House honorably, both as Prefect and now Head Girl. You have endured prejudice about your heritage with grace and dignity, and you have defended less popular students against those many others would be afraid to challenge."

"Th-thank you, sir…"

"But lately, I think you may have lost sight of what bravery truly is." He leaned closer. "Miss Evans…courage is not simply the absence of fear. Sometimes—and often when it matters most—courage means being afraid! Yes, being afraid—but facing the danger all the same, with your head held high. Even when you are feeling…oh…frightfully vulnerable."

Lily looked into the sparkling blue eyes with wonder. Could he be talking about…?

No, it was impossible.

"You may go," he said with a smile.

Lily nodded, feeling slightly dazed. When she reached the door, she turned around again. "Professor Dumbledore?"

He smiled more widely in response.

"That—what you just said—you weren't talking about—are you talking about You-Know-Who?"

"I believe you had it right the first time. A very good night to you, Miss Evans."

Lily left Dumbledore's office feeling dazed, with no intention to return to dinner. She was hoping to retreat to her dormitory, in search of some peace, some quiet, some time to think, but what she found on the way was another matter entirely.

She turned into one of the many deserted corridors at Hogwarts—the whole of the student body sitting down to dinner in the Great Hall—to find James and Severus, mere inches apart, wands out, talking in very low, severe tones.

Her first instinct was to dash between them, but something kept her frozen there, at the end of the corridor, watching. The exchange quickly escalated, and James shouted, "When will you just leave it? You're pathetic!"

When Severus fired the first hex, nothing Lily said could have talked them down. They circled one another, hurling hex after hex, and it was difficult to tell who was the more skilled wizard. They brandished their wands like swords, wielding dangerous and utterly wordless magic as Lily ran toward them.

"Stop! Stop!" cried Lily.

Snape shot her one fleeting, murderous look, then bellowed, "SECTUMSEMPRA!"

For a moment, Lily thought she had seen this spell before. Just as she remembered in the fifth year, a deep gash appeared on James's face, splattering his robes with blood.

But this time, James stumbled back, crumbling to the floor with arms splayed, and in the split second when he did nothing but lie there with that gash and a look of surprise on his face, Lily thought Severus's spell was a weak one.

With a shock of horror, Lily saw the blotches appear on James's white Hogwarts shirt, saw his forehead, neck, and cheeks open up as if someone had sliced them, the skin splitting easy as peach skin, and quickly, much too quickly, James bled profusely from the very deep, very wide gashes. Within seconds he lay in a large, red-black puddle, his eyes wide and frightened, his pallid hands scrabbling at his chest and stomach, mouth open in terror.

"Severus!" Lily shouted, "Severus, what have you done? Put him right!"

Snape watched silently, remorselessly.

"Severus!" Lily cried. "Please! Please! Think of what you're doing!"

But he just stood there, his face contorted in rage and hatred, both steadily increasing the more upset Lily Evans became by James's injuries.

Lily marched up to Severus, mere inches from his face, and he could see that her bright green eyes were glistening, her lips taut with fright. "Severus," she repeated, grabbing the front of his robes, "I don't—I can't—I don't know how to stop this—this curse, I don't—Severus, please stop this!"

And she turned away from him, tears falling thickly now. Lily rushed to James, her heart twanging with fear and panic as she crouched over him. She did not even notice, would not have even cared, that she was kneeling in inches of his blood. Convulsing and grasping his wounds more feebly now, James breathed in weak, shuddering gasps, a sound that terrified Lily beyond anything she had ever heard, and in his frantic attempts to draw breath he began coughing blood. Lily was sobbing in earnest when she lifted his torso into her arms, cradling him. James Potter was dying, and very quickly.

"Severus," she bawled, "Stop it! Please, stop it! How do I—?" She turned her face to James now. "I don't know how to help you, I don't know what to do!" She looked around wildly as Severus continued to ignore her pleas. "HELP! SOMEBODY HELP!" she sobbed, her voice echoing in the corridor.

Lily's cries only seemed to anger Severus more—the way she held the enemy he so hated, the way she cried for fear of his life, pleaded with Severus to release Potter from the curse…

Revulsion painted his face as he looked at the pair of them, both soaked in Potter's blood. Snape would have been happy to watch him die.

But he knew that Lily would never forgive him for it.

Severus came closer to the pair and looked into Lily's scared, pleading eyes. Careful not to touch a drop of Potter's blood, he knelt down. Lily clutched at his robes again with her bloody hand, the other still wrapped protectively around James. Severus willed himself not to recoil as some of Potter's blood stained his robes. "Please," Lily whispered.

Snape moved his face very close to Lily's. "What's he to you?" he muttered barely audibly, eyes narrowed. He searched the moist bright green eyes with his cold black ones and spat, "What's an 'arrogant, bullying toerag' to you?"

Lily felt the sting of her own words, but she did not need to pause, did not even have to think before answering. In uncomplicated conviction she whispered, "I love him." It was so honest, so right, she spoke the words as if she'd said them a thousand times.

Expressionless, Severus stood, let Lily's hand fall from his robes, watched it wrap securely around the loathsome body he so desperately wanted to watch bleed dry. And in earth shattering agony that was near-physical, he muttered the counter-curse, repeated it several times under his breath, a songlike incantation that sounded strange coming from him, and slowly, steadily, the blood flow began to reverse, the wounds began to knit. With Lily weeping softly over him, James Potter colored with life, his skin slowly losing the near-translucent pallor, and a pink hue tinted his cheeks and lips again. Severus continued, taking several steps back.

Lily wiped the blood from James's face with her own robes, and her heart flooded with relief as his breathing became more regular, his eyes more focused. When Snape's incantation trailed off into silence, and it was clear James would be all right, Lily buried her head in her hands with a great sigh.

Wordlessly, with eyes that seemed far brighter, far sadder than usual, Snape swept down the corridor and out of sight. James looked dazedly at Lily, whose clothes, hands, and face were covered in his blood apart from two tear tracks which divided the crimson blotches…and he fainted.