Author's Note: I know it's been awhile, but my life is crazy right now. I've been working on this chapter for months and I finally have it finished. I'm sorry it's not longer, but at least it's complete. I hope you enjoy and please review. Thanks for reading!
Disclaimer: I don't own anything from Fairy Tail.
Gray couldn't sleep. He'd been sitting awake in his desk chair for hours now. It was well past midnight and exhaustion surrounded him like a cloak, but he knew only nightmares awaited him if he gave in, and he couldn't bare reliving what he did to Natsu. Gray glanced over at the fire dragon slayer. He'd been quiet all night much to Gray's surprise. After he'd gotten himself somewhat back together and came out of the bathroom he had steeled himself for getting Natsu through his nightmares, but the fire mage hadn't made a sound. He hadn't even moved. Gray could only assume that he was so exhausted his mind had just blacked out. He wouldn't complain. He was thankful his old comrade could get some peace even if it was only temporarily.
Gray was pulled from his thoughts when a soft knock sounded at the door. He tensed and got up from his chair. He prepared for a fight in case it was Jerome coming to convince Gray to team up against the dragon slayer, but when he opened the door he saw Briar standing penitently in the hallway. He only felt marginally better.
"What do you want?" he asked.
"To help you," Briar replied and when he gave her a doubtful look she gazed past him to the sleeping fire mage. "And your friend."
"Why should I believe you?" Gray asked shutting the door slightly to block her view of the boy.
Briar glanced up at him. "What the others in the guild have done to your friend has sickened me since it started," she replied. "What they made you do to him was so awful. I'm sorry. I tried to stop it, but I was shut down by the others."
"Why do you care?" Gray asked her, remembering another time she'd expressed concern over him and the fire mage.
"Because I care about you," Briar answered him simply.
Gray blinked in surprise and then immediately felt a flash of guilt for not having noticed. "Briar…"
"It's okay. I already know you don't feel the same way," Briar interrupted him. "But you do care about your friend and that's why you need to leave with him tonight."
"What?!" Gray exclaimed looking up and down the hall to make sure no one overheard them before turning his attention back to her. "I can't leave. This guild will get me to Zeref. Zeref has the book of E.N.D. I have to get it and destroy it. I promised my father I would destroy that demon."
"Is revenge really worth losing your friend?" Briar snapped. "Is it worth losing someone you love?"
Gray glanced back at Natsu and felt his heart constrict inside his chest. "He'd understand," he replied.
"Would he?" Briar questioned. "He'd understand why revenge was more important than him the next time you're forced to rape him? The next time another member of the guild rapes him?" Gray opened his mouth to protest but she didn't let him. "No one is up and about for one hour of the night during this guild. In an hour take your friend and leave. You can get your revenge another way." She turned and walked away, leaving him standing in alone in the hall.
Gray ducked back into his room and glanced at the fire mage sleeping peacefully in his bed. He wanted revenge for his father, for his family, but he wanted to keep Natsu safe too. He closed his eyes in brief defeat before he started to quickly rummage around the room, throwing clothes and other necessary items in a bag. He wouldn't be able to take everything. It would be important to travel lightly. Gray glanced at the clock and saw it was almost four in the morning. He and Natsu would have to leave soon.
The ice mage leaned over Natsu and gently shook his shoulder. The fire mage woke with a start and Gray clamped a hand over his mouth in case he screamed. "It's just me," he told him, as if after what happened those words would bring the fire mage any assurance at all. "We're leaving. If you have to use the bathroom do it now." Natsu gave him a confused look and Gray groaned. He dragged the fire mage to his feet and pushed him slightly towards the bathroom. Natsu barely budged.
Gray sighed. "Okay, fine," he said exasperated. "We're leaving now. I need you to stay quiet. Can you do that for me?" Natsu didn't respond at all, but Gray had been expecting that. It didn't surprise him at all that the fire mage had reverted back to the traumatized state he'd originally found him in, but it killed him that this time he was the cause of it. Pushing back his guilt, Gray shouldered the bag he'd packed and grabbed Natsu's hand. He was relieved when the fire mage didn't fight him off. Quietly, he led Natsu through the halls of the guild until they exited the building, and then he began to run. Natsu stumbled along behind him.
The two ran through the remainder of the night and didn't stop until the horizon began to glow pink. Gray knew they would have to find a place to hide. The Avatar guild may already be tracking them down. He glanced around their surroundings and noticed a small, wooden building ahead on the trail. He dragged Natsu over to it and shouldered open the door. The small building housed a cot and a small stove. Gray realized immediately that they'd stumbled upon a safe house. There were various safe houses set up around Fiore for any traveling knights. The two mages couldn't have lucked out more if they tried. If the Avatar guild came this way they would never think to look for them in such an obvious hiding place.
Gray glanced over at Natsu and saw that his old guild mate looked exhausted and in pain. He winced. After what he'd done to him last night all that running must have been painful for the fire mage. Gently, Gray led the dragon slayer over to the cot and laid him down on it. Natsu immediately closed his eyes and fell asleep. Exhaustion, was finally settling in for Gray as well, and he reluctantly laid down beside his old comrade, being careful to keep some distance between them. He nodded off shortly after.
When he woke up it was night again. Gray glanced over his shoulder and saw that Natsu was still asleep. Another wave of guilt flowed through him and he knew he couldn't stay with the fire mage. He had gotten him out of the guild but that was the best he could do. He couldn't stay when every time he looked at his old comrade he felt guilt and dismay enough to make him physically ill. And, he reasoned to himself, it would be easier on Natsu not to have to be in the presence of his rapist every day. Gray leaving would be best for both of them.
Still, a part of Gray didn't like that conclusion. After all these months caring for Natsu he'd grown to feel affection for the dragon slayer. An affection he wasn't ready to put a name to. Gray sighed and ran a hand through the pink locks of the fire mage. He had to leave. Even if it would kill a part of him to do so, it was the best option for the both of them. Natsu could move on from his trauma and Gray could hunt down E.N.D. without worrying about dragging Natsu into a fight that wasn't his. Steeling his resolve, Gray pushed himself off the cot the two mages had been sharing and started to dig through the bag he'd packed the night before. He took out all the information he'd found on Zeref's whereabouts in the last year and left everything else for Natsu. He forced himself not to look back at his old friend as he left him behind.
Gray hadn't gotten far, however, when a loud bang made him turn back. Natsu was standing on the top step of the safe house looking frantically around the area. When his eyes locked on Gray he ran towards him, leaving the door wide open. Gray frowned in confusion as he noticed the distraught look on Natsu's face.
"Natsu," he began but he didn't get any further as Natsu plowed into him.
"I'll do better!" Natsu cried clinging onto his shoulders as he looked up at him.
Gray's brows furrowed in confusion. "Natsu?" he questioned.
"I'll do better," Natsu repeated more firmly though the look in his eyes was nothing but terror. "N-next time. I-I'll do better. I'll respond more. I-I'll do m-more so you can feel good." Gray felt bile rise as he realized what Natsu meant. He felt the acid burn the back of his throat as he realized what reason Natsu believed he was leaving for.
He forced himself to swallow the bile back down and shook his head. "Natsu, that's not why I…"
Natsu dropped to his knees before he could say anything else. "I'll do better," the fire mage said again as he reached for the waistband of Gray's pants.
"Natsu, no!" Gray cried pushing the fire mage's hands off of him. Natsu cowered at his feet, staring up at him with watery eyes. The sight truly broke Gray's heart and he dropped to the ground in front of Natsu, gathering the dragon slayer in his arms. "I'm not leaving because you weren't…" Gray clenched his eyes shut and forced himself to say what he had to say next. "I'm not leaving because you weren't good enough, Natsu. You were perfect."
"Then why are you leaving me?" Natsu asked in a small voice, and Gray truly felt like he'd been stabbed in the heart. He pushed Natsu back a little so he could look him in the eyes.
"I need find Zeref so I can get and destroy the Book of E.N.D.," Gray told him. "I promised my father I would destroy that demon."
Natsu nodded looking solemn. "Then I'll come with you," he said.
"No. Natsu, it's too dangerous. I don't want you to get hurt," Gray replied.
Natsu scowled. "I know how to fight," he shot back, and for a moment sounded like his old self before he crumpled completely. "Please, Gray. Don't leave me."
Gray bit his lip. He really didn't want to drag Natsu into his revenge business. And he really thought it would be better for the dragon slayer to be away from him, but after the emotional outburst Natsu had just had he wasn't so sure about that anymore. What if Natsu freaked out and got himself hurt? Gray would feel guiltier than he already did if something happened to Natsu that he could have prevented if he'd stayed. With that thought in mind he caved.
"Alright," he agreed reluctantly pulling Natsu back up to his feet. "We'll leave in the morning." Natsu smiled and cuddled up to his side. Gray smiled and wrapped and arm around the fire mage's waist and led him back to the safe house. Natsu yawned as they breached the doorway. "Are you still tired?" Natsu nodded his head and Gray ran a soothing hand down his back. He gently deposited the dragon slayer onto the cot and tucked him in before turning to get the stove running, but he didn't get a step away from the bed when he was tugged back.
"Don't go," Natsu implored him softly.
"I'm not," Gray assured him. "I just want to get the stove running."
"Don't go," Natsu said again, and Gray sighed. He slid into the cot next to Natsu and pulled the smaller teen onto his chest and rubbed soothing circles into his back absentmindedly as he thought of what to do. He had to destroy E.N.D. and he had to take care of Natsu. How could he do both when they conflicted against each other. He looked down at the fire mage nuzzled up against him. He pressed a quick kiss to his hot forehead and closed his eyes. Maybe he'd find a solution by morning.