AN/ Thanks to magik, for writing Vexen's Research.

And... if you're wondering WHY there's a Vexen from a parallel universe here, go read "Some Things You Just Can't Escape", which is on magik's profile! (she's forevermagik13) (or you can skip it if you'd rather. he's just like "WAIT THAT'S MY RIKU" and hopped on over here. then he didn't leave? oh well.)

Chapter 11: Thoughts of Home

Joseph and Sora were still out on their ice cream run. Riku sat on one of the couches in Castle Oblivion, letting his mind wander. It been a while since his mind had been able to wander. He had been so focused on finding Sora that he had never spared himself a second to just think.

Currently, he was thinking about how things were back home.

I hope Namine's okay… She's probably worried about me. I DID run off almost as soon as I came. But I was so focused on finding Sora, and I didn't expect it to take three months. I hope she's not mad at me. I'll have to apologize for that, as soon as I see her again. I hope I see her again soon…

He sighed.

I bet Kairi's worried too. She was probably more worried about Sora than I was.

Well, as soon as he gets his darkness under control, we can go home, and they won't have to worry anymore. And it shouldn't take too long. I hope…

He honestly had no clue how long it was going to take Sora to gain control over his darkness. He was assuming it wouldn't take much longer than a week. But what if it took longer?

He slowly reached into his pocket and pulled out the picture Namine had drawn. He unfolded it carefully and looked at it. His heart ached.

I want to go home… he thought.

They'd understand if I told them that I had found Sora, he just needed a bit more time before he can come home. And it's not like I would have to stay long. Just an hour or so, so I can talk to Namine.

But… I DID promise I'd bring Sora home… Going home without him would be like breaking that promise…

And, I promised Sora I'd help him, too.

He sighed again.

There's no way I could go home…

I don't even know why I thought of it in the first place.

But he did know, even though he didn't quite want to admit it. It was because he missed Namine. A lot. And he wanted to see her again.

Hopefully… helping Sora won't take too long.

He gasped, suddenly, as a wave of pain shot through him. He clutched his head, eyes squeezed shut, trying to fight it off. His head was throbbing, and he had no idea why.

What the heck? he thought.

After a moment, the pain subsided slightly, and went down to just a dull throb at the back of his mind.

"Are you alright?" one of the Vexen Replicas asked. He didn't bother trying to figure out who it was. His head hurt too much.

"Just a headache," he muttered.

xxx

Namine sat quietly on the beach, drawing. She was frowning, mainly in concentration, but partly because she didn't quite understand why she was drawing this. Her only logical explanation was that this particular thing was on Riku's mind at the moment, even though that hardly explained it, and she was almost positive that it wasn't.

Typically, those were the pictures she couldn't remember drawing.

The picture was of Sora. Well, Sora as he was being dragged back down into darkness. The terrified look on his face scared her. She was sure that by the time she was done drawing this, the image would be burned into the back of her mind forever.

A pool of darkness opened up below Sora, and a hand shot out and grabbed him by the collar of his shirt. Riku watched in horror. What was happening?

"YOU ARE MINE!" Ansem shouted, slowly dragging Sora down. "And you will fade into darkness with me!"

"No!" Sora gasped, trying to fight it. "I won't- I-" He looked at Riku, eyes filled with terror. He knew he wasn't going to be able to escape.

It was that same terrified face that Namine was currently drawing.

She paused, closing her eyes, fighting the memory off. It wasn't working very well, though. And before long, another memory had floated up.

Sora was staring at him, desperately, holding the good luck charm out. He was trying to explain something. Something… something…. What was it?

Riku was confused though, at the sight of that charm. It didn't make sense.

"Tell me…. Where did you get that?" he asked, and then gasped, as white hot pain shot through his brain. He stumbled back, clutching his head. Everything was a blur. Blurred by the pain, by the-

What was even going on?

Namine clutched her head in pain, as her body responded to the pain of the memory, even though the memory wasn't hers.

But then everything suddenly made sense. He laughed, darkly. "Sora… good try… I've got the real one right here!" He reached into his pocket, and pulled out a charm exactly identical to the one Sora was holding.

"Wha-" Sora exclaimed. "TWO of them!"

The look on his face was priceless. He still looked upset, and was scowling, but confusion clouded all that. Riku would have laughed again, if he wasn't so angry.

"Fakes should be destroyed!" he shouted, raising his blade.

Namine almost shouted. She didn't like that idea. She didn't like the fact those words were coming out of Riku's mouth. But she couldn't dwell on it long. The memories had already begun to shift. Already, she was being bombarded with flashes upon flashes of memory. She saw that star shaped charm a couple more times, before it faded into the rest of the wave of memories.

She bit her tongue, doing her best not to scream. But it hurt. It all hurt too much.

None of it made sense.

I thought… I thought there wouldn't be any more of these! Namine thought angrily, still trying to fight off the memories. They were rushing by so fast now, she couldn't distinguish anything. Maybe a strangled thought got to her, maybe a sentence, but it was all just a blur of noise and images.

Her ears were ringing.

Her head hurt.

None of it made sense.

Why didn't it make sense?

It was almost as if the memories were attacking her. They were shouting at her, screaming at her. She couldn't tell who, she couldn't tell what.

She didn't care.

She wanted it to stop.

"Shut up!" she cried. She wasn't sure why. It's not like the memories would listen to her. But maybe if she forced the thought hard enough-

What was she thinking?

What was going on?

The memories were crushing her.

She couldn't think.

She could hardly breathe.

xxx

"Namine?"

She groaned, as she finally found her way back to consciousness. It was silent, inside her head. No memories. No images, no voices. Just her own thoughts.

"Namine!"

And someone calling her name…

She slowly opened her eyes. Kairi was sitting there, looking worried.

Namine frowned. Kairi wasn't the person she wanted to see.

"Are you alright?" Kairi asked.

Namine slowly sat up, ignoring her previous thought. "Yeah," she replied. "I'm alright."

There must have been something about the way she said it, as Kairi frowned.

"Are you sure?"

Namine nodded.

Her head still hurt, just a bit. But she hardly noticed it.

So she was fine.

"Memory meltdown?" Kairi asked. This had only been the second time this had happened, but Kairi obviously knew how to recognize them.

Namine nodded again. She wasn't sure if she wanted to speak.

"What's this?" Kairi asked suddenly, glancing at Namine's sketchbook. Namine followed her gaze, curious.

Her sketchbook lay open to a completely different picture. One she didn't remember drawing. It was a picture of her and Riku, which she wasn't at all surprised she had drawn. What did surprise her though was the star shaped charm Riku was holding.

It was the same charm she had seen in the memories.

But what did it mean?

xxx

"Are you sure you're alright?" the Vexen Replica pressed.

Riku slowly rubbed his temples. "Yes," he repeated. "I'm fine."

"You don't look 'fine'."

Riku frowned. Rarely anyone here ever got so worried about him (well, except Joseph, but that was another story). Plus, there was something about that tone that struck a chord inside him. Riku looked up, wondering which Vexen Replica it even was.

"Oh," he said, face scrunching up into a scowl. "It's you."

It was Vexen. The "real" Vexen, except, this Vexen was from the parallel universe. Same universe Riku was from. Same Vexen that created him. Great, just what he absolutely wanted to deal with right now! (Not.)

"Yes, it's me," Vexen snapped, sounding very annoyed now. "I've been here like a month now. I'm surprised you didn't realize it was me the moment I walked up!"

Riku turned away, dropping his gaze to the side and to the floor. "Just… doing a lot of thinking," Riku lied, not wanting to mention his throbbing headache.

"No, you look like you're in a lot of pain," Vexen argued. "Are you sure you're alright?"

Riku groaned. He'd tell Vexen to just leave him alone, but that wouldn't make a difference. Vexen wouldn't go anywhere just because Riku asked him to.

Maybe if I ignore him, he'll get bored and leave… Riku thought, hopefully. His mood soured quickly though, as he realized the more likely course of action. Or he'll just get mad that I'm ignoring him, and yell at me. Ugh, I hate it when he yells at me.

Riku frowned at that last thought. That wasn't true! Well, okay, it was annoying, and Riku did hate it, but there was something else bristling in his chest. Something like fear? No, no, that was definitely wrong—

He stopped worrying immediately as Vexen reached for Namine's picture. "Hey!" he said.

Vexen ignored him. "What's this?" he asked, proceeding to look at the picture.

"Nothing!" Riku said quickly. "It's-" he sighed, as it was pointless. He groaned, rubbing his head again. "Can I have it back?" he muttered, holding out his hand. He was surprised when Vexen actually gave it back to him. "Thanks…" he mumbled.

"Still pining after Namine, are we?" Vexen asked.

Riku could have sworn he had been asked that before. But he didn't care. He actually wanted to smack Vexen. "Pining!" he asked, voice rising slightly with anger. "It's never been that! It's- I don't know what it is…" His voice fell as he said that, and he went back to rubbing his temples.

He was so confused. He didn't understand what he was feeling. He thought he understood his feelings for Namine. When she was around, it made sense. He knew he wanted to protect her, and that he liked being around her.

But when she wasn't here?

He hurt.

And he didn't understand why.

He wanted to see her again. He knew that. Now that he wasn't so worried about Sora, he was thinking about her more. And thinking about just how much he missed her.

He missed her a lot.

xxx

- Vexen's Research

Riku's connections with Namine.

The Fake Riku and the Real Namine-I never did learn the extent of their connection, Axel cut that short. Darn him. However, I know that Riku was told that he must protect Namine. Though I'm not sure how she felt about that. I would have to ask her. Last I checked, however, she had rejoined with Kairi and who knows the chances of her being a separate being by now.

Though, time has passed much quicker there, who knows what could have transpired.

Anyway! Enough of the rambling! I am writing this report on Riku!

What is his connection to this New Namine? This Replicated Namine, formed from his own memories? He certainly seems to care for her quite a bit. He is definitely tense to the subject anytime I, or anyone else, brings it up. I know he's threatened to murder Joseph on many occasions. (Though, I gather Joseph gets death threats from more than just Riku. I'm not sure why, he's a nice kid.)

Riku obviously wants to protect this New Namine. But do his feelings go further than just protection? Is such a thing even possible?

I must do more research.

Though, it would be much easier if this New Namine were here, so I could observe how the two interact.