Rose Hill, 1778
It was bed time. Quinn had postponed it as much as she could, but now she had no other way - everyone else in the house was already asleep. She was exhausted from the day, but she feared the minute she closed her eyes she would see it again. The kiss that haunted her constantly.
It felt different now. She had made her research and she learned how wrong it was. She didn't have any more doubts about Rachel going to hell. She knew Rachel deserved the worst punishment she could inflict. Still, she only seemed to think more and more about that morning. Not to mention the dreams that would never let her have one peaceful night of sleep.
As if all of that wasn't already enough, there was Hank telling her about how Rachel had also kissed another boy from down the quarters. Quinn wondered how many more there were that she wasn't aware of. She spent a whole lot of time trying to find out why it bothered her so much, and settled for the explanation that if the slaves trusted Rachel more than her, it would be easy for them to start an uprising once Quinn ran the farm. It was plausible. It helped her heart stop racing for no reason. It helped her sleep at night.
But that didn't mean it was the truth.
Quinn laid back as Rachel closed the curtains and started folding Quinn's clothes. Her eyes didn't rise to Quinn. Not once, since that day - which also infuriated Quinn, for no apparent reason. Quinn had decided to confront Rachel about it. She couldn't let the girl slide with such big misbehavior. She needed Rachel to be as distressed as she was.
"You know," Quinn murmured, immediately getting Rachel's attention. "I could kill you for kissing another woman." Not even Quinn knew how she managed to sound so cold, when inside she was near to a heart attack. She had read about it and thought about it, but when the words came out of her mouth it suddenly felt too real. "That's sodomy," she finished with a gulp she hoped Rachel hadn't realized.
"I know you won't," Rachel replied. The insolence was back and against Quinn's belief, her heart raced even faster. She would never admit it, but she missed the fire behind Rachel's eyes. She missed having something touching her - even if it was anger. "I'm the only slave you have."
"My father could buy me another. Money is no objection to my family, as you may already know." Quinn's mouth tasted bitter. She sounded a whole lot like her mother. Arrogant. She always tried to run away from that adjective, but it seemed to chase her right back.
"Is that so?" Rachel asked, taking one step forward. Quinn's eyes bulged out against her will. She had always knew Rachel was defiant, but she had never been so aggressive. "Then why is it he had never bought you one before you inherited me?" She asked, and Quinn furrowed her eyebrows in a deep frown. She would never admit defeat.
"You are such a whore," Quinn growled loudly, and Rachel finally flinched. "I will not tolerate you whoring around this farm. If I ever hear anything about you and other slaves I will bring the matter to my father. It's their slaves you're fooling around with." Quinn narrowed her eyes and connected with Rachel's. The rage in one single look between the two of them was enough to destroy an empire. And maybe it would. "He won't be as merciful as I am, you can be sure of that."
Rachel rolled her eyes and turned her back to Quinn. Quinn didn't know which one of the acts infuriated her more, but if she had a gun by her side, Rachel would have been dead. Rachel didn't fear Quinn, and that she already knew. But to realize the mention of her father didn't make Rachel falter at all either, worried Quinn.
"Grab your stuff," she said. That got Rachel's attention more than anything she had said before. "You'll be sleeping in the dressing room from now on. I don't want you and your bad influence around the good slaves we have downstairs."
"But miss Quinn, there's no bed in the dressing room!" Rachel argued incredulous. She had backed down and Quinn didn't even need to look at her to see it. If she knew all it took was to take Rachel away from the other slaves, she would have done it much sooner.
"I'm aware," Quinn answered with a devious smile, turning on to her side and adjusting herself in her huge comfortable bed. "And don't think this will be your only punishment for that."
"Rachel!" Dorea exclaimed, being the first one to notice the girl coming in the kitchen house. "Good God, you're here! We were all so worried! All your things are gone, where have you been?" She asked hysterically while Abbie and Lou Lee ran out of their rooms.
"Calm down, everything's fine!" Rachel soothed, grabbing Dorea's hand and sitting down. "I'm gonna be sleeping up there from now on," she grumbled, lowering her head.
"Oh, dear!" Abbie sighed, sitting by her side. "What happened? Did she punish you again?"
"Actually, no." Rachel shook her head and Lou Lee raised her eyebrows in surprise. Rachel bit her lip as they exchanged a glance. She couldn't tell Abbie what had happened. "But a couple days ago I wasn't there when she woke up and she had to do everything on her own and still come down here to fetch me and…" She sighed, rolling her eyes. "Well, you know how she is. She says I'm suppose to sleep upstairs so I see when she wakes up."
"Well, it could have been much worse, right?" Lou Lee chuckled nervously. Rachel could see how sorry the girl was, but even though she had been the one to make the move, Rachel didn't blame her. She could have pulled back right away, and Quinn wouldn't have seen it.
But then she wouldn't see that look in Quinn's face. That so frequent look that told Rachel with all the words what Quinn was still thinking about it, and that made Rachel shiver.
"She says there's more to come. I just hope she forgets it, although I know it's unlikely." Rachel shrugged and leaned her head on Abbie's shoulder. Abbie caressed her hair, and Rachel closed her eyes. "I hate waking up there. I miss hearing you guys chat and even the noise of clattering silverware as you polish it for breakfast."
"We're gonna miss you too," Lou Lee whispered. "Especially since now I'm gonna have to peel all the potatoes alone," she played, gaining a tap on her head by her mother. Rachel loved watching Dorea and Lou Lee together - maybe because it somehow reminded her of her own mother.
"I just hate how she took the one thing I love. You're the closest thing to a family that I'll ever have," Rachel whined and Abbie pouted sympathetically. "I hate her with all my strength."
"Oh, we all do!" Lou Lee giggled. "I don't even know why she came down here in the first place. She could have rang the bell, like she always does."
"I guess she did and we didn't hear it," Rachel confessed. "She wanted to go to the garden. It actually surprised me to see her doing something useful instead of asking for someone else to do it." Rachel grinned and Lou Lee nodded.
"Oh, the rose bush again?" Dorea asked, shaking her head.
"I don't think so," Rachel replied. "I didn't see any roses."
"That's the problem. This farm used to have roses blooming all year long - that's why it's called Rose Hill," Dorea explained, and Rachel shot her eyebrows up. "Miss Judy used to take care of them and they were just beautiful."
"What's wrong with them now?" Rachel asked with a frown.
"Miss Judy stopped taking care of them after Miss Frannie died, and they never bloomed again," Abbie answered.
"Who's Miss Frannie?" Rachel asked. She felt the air shifting in the house.
"Their eldest daughter," Lou Lee replied. "But we're not allowed to talk about her." Rachel frowned deeper. She didn't like how tense everyone seemed to get with a simple mention and was frustrated that Lou Lee had stopped her from asking further even before she started. "Do you want help to take your mattress upstairs?" Said Lou Lee, clearly trying to change the subject again.
"I don't think she will let me. I think she actually wants me to sleep on the floor," Rachel murmured. Her curiosity quickly vanished away to be replaced with usual anger that came whenever she thought about her owner.
"Maybe you could ask George? I know he would be on your side!" Lou Lee encouraged, but Rachel saw the disapproval in Dorea's and Abbie's face. Lou Lee had an innocence that Rachel had long lost.
"Maybe I should just obey and avoid further trouble for myself…" Rachel complained, resting her head on the table. "It's only a matter of time before she forbids me from coming to see you guys in here."
Although Rachel hated to be in the same room as Quinn, and knew the girl felt the same, she did everything she could to watch Quinn's lessons. She was amazed by how many different things someone could learn, and listened carefully to everything the tutor said - she suspected she listened to him even more than Quinn did. Quinn seemed to not like the man and didn't take the lessons seriously, and Rachel simply couldn't believe how foolish that was of her. If Rachel had the chance, she would grasp it tightly with both hands and never let it go.
Art lessons were one of the few Quinn seemed to have some interest on - she actually did what the tutor asked of her. Granted, she never followed the instructions and just did it her way, but at least she tried, which was more than Rachel could see on her other lessons.
"Hold the brush more lightly, miss Quinn," the tutor instructed. Quinn ignored. "Shall we use a little more gray in this sky, huh?" Ignored again. "You should work with faster strokes, miss Quinn! Faster!" He got up in his feet, moving his hands dramatically. Quinn started humming. "What if we drew some trees along that river?"
"What if you shut your mouth and let me work in peace?" Quinn shouted. Rachel was impressed, it usually took way less for her to lose her patient.
"Miss Quinn, for the last time, I will not tolerate you speaking to me in this manner!" Mr. Henn shouted back. "You owe me respect! Now get back to work and follow my instructions!"
He should know better than to scream back. Rachel knew it. This would never get Quinn to do what he wanted.
"I think I'm done for the day," she said sarcastically, tipping the canvas from easel with one touch. Paint splattered all over the carpet, and Rachel could only imagine how furious Judy would be when she found out. She hurried to pick it up, but Quinn stopped her. "Don't touch that." Their eyes met and the whole room was on fire again. "Let's go," Quinn said. Rachel blinked a couple times before realizing she was the one being addressed.
It was the first time. The first time she asked Rachel to come along. The first time Rachel saw Quinn's eyes shining with anger for someone other than her. The first time she realized how much she craved Quinn's attention. The first time she realized how much she longed for Quinn's approval.
"What the hell happened?" Judy asked, marching into the room with her face burning red. Quinn retreated on the couch and gulped. "I had to spend an hour convincing Mr. Henn to come back tomorrow and not to give up teaching you after the little scene you put up in your last lesson. I'm so tired of your attitude, Quinn!"
"And I'm tired of him trying to boss me around!" Quinn shouted back. She knew it wouldn't take her anywhere. She knew it would only make her mother more enraged. But if she didn't stand up for herself, who would? "Art isn't supposed to be taught, is supposed to be felt. I love painting but I swear to God, I will never grab a brush again if I have to use it like he wants me to."
"He's only trying to help you get better, Quinn. Don't you wanna get better?" She asked, and Quinn shrugged with a frown. "God, I feel like you do this on purpose to get me mad at you. To get my attention. Is that what you want?"
"Of course not," Quinn murmured. "Not everything is about you, mother."
"Then what is it?" Judy screamed even louder. Quinn wished she could tell her mother that yelling didn't make her arguments any better. "You have so much potential, I don't understand why you waste it. Don't you wanna sell your paintings? Get recognition?"
"I don't need that," Quinn answered, and her mother groaned. "I know I'm good. I don't paint because I want recognition or money. I paint because it makes me feel good, and I don't need it to be anything more than that."
"Well, I'm not wasting my money on a highly graduated tutor for you to paint just for fun!"
"Then tell him not to come back!" Now Quinn was yelling too. It seemed to be the only way to get heard by her mother. "God knows I won't be the one to miss him!"
"Where's my beautiful family?" Quinn heard her father's voice from the corridor, and breathed out in relief. "What is going on up here? Why wasn't there anyone at the door to greet me?" Quinn softened at once, when his arms enveloped her in a hug and he kissed the top of her head.
"Quinn had another discussion with Mr. Henn this morning. A pretty serious one, I could say." Judy intervened.
"Oh, we can talk about that later. Let's not ruin the mood for dinner, alright?" He dismissed, kissing his wife's hand before leaving the room - expecting to be followed, as usual.
"Your father won't always be here to save your skin, Quinn." Judy muttered before leaving, making Quinn shiver.
Rachel ran her fingers through Quinn's hair, undoing her braid and untangling the knots. Quinn sat on a bench in front of the mirror, and Rachel could watch her jaw twitching with anger. She had discussed again with her mother when they tried to explain what happened to her father, and stormed into her bedroom asking to get ready for bed. If Rachel didn't know Quinn, she would swear she saw a tear threatening to escape her eye.
But Quinn always held herself. She had her hands clenched together and her shoulders so tense that for the fraction of a second Rachel thought about running her hands down to give her a massage. She had learned it well, helping her mother relax after a hard day of work. But something inside her said Quinn wouldn't appreciate it as much as her mother did.
Still, Rachel felt like she should do something to try and make Quinn relax. She usually liked seeing Quinn worked up, but she came to realize she didn't enjoy it nearly as much when Quinn's anger was towards other people.
"Just so you know, I really like your paintings. I think they're beautiful," Rachel murmured, keeping her head down.
"Is it your place to voice an opinion?" Quinn chuckled ironically, but kept her voice low in a whisper. She was scolding Rachel, but her voice was so soft that Rachel's heart skipped a beat. Quinn confused her to no end, and she felt like always pushing further - at least until she found out what was in Quinn's head. She would, eventually. No one could hide for so long.
"I just thought you would like to know, miss," Rachel argued.
"Don't try to be nice now just because you're afraid of what your next punishment will be, Rachel." Quinn murmured, turning around faster than Rachel could expect and locking their eyes in the way that unsettled Rachel the most. "That will only make me lose the little respect I have for you."
Rachel's mind exploded. She was thrilled to know Quinn respected her, even if only a little. She was somber that she was losing that respect. She was furious that instead of acknowledging her efforts Quinn shot her down. She was stunned by the passion in Quinn's eyes. And she was incited by the huskiness in Quinn's voice.
"I apologize, miss Quinn." She didn't falter. She didn't lower her head. She wouldn't be the one to unlock their eyes.
"I think it's time we end that matter," said Quinn. "I don't see a reason to delay it any longer." Quinn took a step forward, bringing them closer than they had ever been. Rachel frowned shortly, but remembered to make herself a rock. She would be steady as if her life depended on it. "You're going to kiss me."
But that, from all things, she didn't expect. There was no amount of self-control able to make her stay still. She took a step back as her mouth fell open and her eyes shot out of her face. "Wh-What?" She stuttered, and hated herself for it.
"You heard me well," Quinn nodded with a straight face. "It won't be hard for you, you're used to it, aren't you?" Rachel didn't answer. "I know you are. Being the whore you are, I wouldn't expect any less."
"I'm not a whore," Rachel whispered, looking down to the floor. Quinn grabbed her by the hair and her legs felt too weak to hold her up.
"Look at me when I'm talking to you," Quinn raged. Rachel swallowed hard. Her body quivered. She wanted to grab Quinn by the hair and throw her against the lightened fireplace right behind them. She wanted to grab Quinn by the hair and shove her down the stairs. She wanted to beat Quinn's face against the floor until her blood was splattered all over the expensive carpets. "I don't know what is it that keeps me from killing you. You have one second to obey me before I do so."
So Rachel did. She closed the gap between them, swallowing the gasp of surprise that escaped Quinn's lips. She caught Quinn's lower lip between her own and kissed her with more spirit than she had ever done in her life. She let all her anger pour out inside Quinn's mouth and before she could stop herself, her hands were in Quinn's hair. She pulled it, and Quinn pulled hers tighter.
Her chest growled, and Quinn pulled it again. Maybe if she kissed Quinn long enough, Quinn would die out of breath. She would be free. But before she could, she would ruin Quinn's life as much as Quinn ruined hers - starting with her counting for Rachel's mother to die.
She dove her tongue inside Quinn's mouth and felt velveteen skin all over. She would never understand how someone so ruthless could feel so soft inside. She scratched Quinn's scalp, and Quinn smashed her tongue against hers. Her nails dug in Quinn's head, but it only encouraged Quinn further. Quinn's tongue took over and slipped inside her mouth. Rachel felt her eyes going to the back of her head behind her eyelids.
Rachel pushed Quinn's tongue and grabbed her bottom lip again. She sucked on it and Quinn's hands ran towards the back of her neck. She bit it. She felt the steely flavor flooding her mouth and smiled. It wasn't how she planned, but she had taken blood from Quinn.
That's when she noticed Quinn's mouth wasn't on her own anymore. Quinn's warm breath wasn't against her face. The cold air hit her and it hurt. But it didn't hurt more than the sharp slap that hit her face a second later.
Even then, it wasn't enough to wipe the devious smile from her face.