Rose Hill, 1778

They hadn't talked - really talked - in a long time. There was no doubt that they would never be as close as they once were. He didn't reach out for Quinn anymore. Maybe he had given up on her, and she couldn't exactly blame him.

But if there was anyone in that house who would listen to the mess that took place inside her mind, it was him.

"Hey, George?" Quinn murmured, peeking her head inside his office. She wondered when she started feeling shy about her own brother - but then again, she wondered when a lot of feelings started coming to her and she didn't get any answers at all.

"Quinn!" He turned around with a confused frown. He didn't expect to see her, and it hurt. Maybe she should be the one trying to reach out, not him. She didn't have enough people who cared about her in the world to afford losing her only brother. "Is there anything you need?" She cringed at how formal he sounded. That's not how it should be. That's not how they should be.

"I was wondering if you would like to go Basseterre with me?" She stepped into the room, hovering over his desk and raising her head at the amount of papers and terms she had never seen before. "I was thinking of going to church, maybe."

"Church?" He frowned deeper. Quinn felt almost sympathetic for his confusion, until she remembered the confusion in her own head ran much deeper. "It's not Sunday, Quinn."

"Well, do we need to wait until Sunday to worship the Lord?" She shrugged. She didn't want to make a big deal out of it yet - she had planned on waiting until they were alone in the city to tell him. Being there she would be sure no one would be listening to them. Only she knew how much the walls in that house could listen.

"You are right about that." He smiled. Quinn had missed it, that smile so big that made all her worries vanish when they were kids. Not anymore. "But I'm afraid I'm gonna have to let you down, little sister. As you can see, I have a lot to work on. If you would like I could make you company on Thursday, when I'll be going to the city to visit a patient."

"Oh, it's okay. I'll be okay," she replied with a dismissive wave of hand. But she wasn't so sure about it.

She had lost her cue. She had pushed herself away from him, and it was too late. He was now too busy for her, much like everyone else in that house. He had come back from England, but she would never stop being alone in that house.

"She did what?!" Lou Lee yelled, and Rachel hushed to cover her mouth with her hands as she looked around to make sure no one had heard them.

"Will you please be quiet?" Rachel shushed. "I don't think this is the kind of information we should share with the whole farm, Lou!"

"I'm sorry, I'm just… I don't even know what to say. I'm shocked, really." She shook her head, whispering. "I mean, Lady Angeline is one thing - she's old and she didn't marry and she lives in America. But miss Quinn? I would never expect she would ask you that!"

"Well, believe me, you weren't as shocked as I was." Rachel chuckled.

"And what did you do?" Lou Lee whispered, leaning forward.

"What you mean what did I do?" Rachel laughed nervously, narrowing her eyebrows. "I kissed her."

"You did not!" Lou Lee's eyes shot open so big that Rachel could swear they would fall out of her face. She nodded. "Rachel, are you mad? She could have killed you for that!"

"Oh, yes, I'm aware. She repeated that many times." At each word, Lou Lee's mouth fell more and more open. Her reactions were driving Rachel nervous. Yes, she knew it was wrong and dangerous, but the way Lou Lee acted made Rachel question for the first time if perhaps she shouldn't have done it. But even though she was scared, she would have done it again if she could go back in time. "I bit her, Lou. Hard. It bled and I felt it right in my mouth." Her eyes shined. She got shivers just from remembering it.

"I honestly can't believe you're still alive," Lou Lee whispered incredulous. "She didn't do anything?"

"She slapped me, actually. But nothing new there, right?" Rachel shrugged. "Besides, I know she liked it. You should have seen her. I really never felt so powerful in my life." Rachel didn't dare to close her eyes - she knew memories would flood her like they had since that night.

"What about you?" Lou Lee asked with a smirk. Rachel wrapped her arms around herself protectively.

"What about me?" She asked.

"Well, did you like it? Was it good, for once?"

Rachel hadn't thought of that. She didn't think of that kiss in that way. It wasn't a kiss like the ones her mother had talked to her about - it was spiteful and it was bitter. She wanted to kill Quinn with her lips - but at the same time, she knew she wished it had lasted at least a little bit longer. She couldn't deny the moan that had left her body either. Nor the way her legs weakened when Quinn held her so tightly by the hair.

It had definitely not been bad.

"I don't know," Rachel shrugged in a whisper. Her cheeks blushed, and Lou Lee giggled making her even more embarrassed about it. "I just don't understand why she asked me that," said Rachel, in an attempt to change the subject and still get an answer for the many questions that fluttered inside her head.

"Masters always go for slaves, Rach," she whispered with a sad smile. Rachel knew that. Her mother had told her the stories. But the way Lou Lee said it… Rachel froze. She wanted to grab Lou Lee's hand and ask if anything had ever happened to her, but she couldn't. The words wouldn't leave her mouth. "I'm just surprised she would go for you. I mean, no offense but she should know how dangerous that is for her."

"Yeah…" Rachel whispered.

If it was dangerous for Quinn, it was fatal for her. It was just a matter of time.

Quinn didn't talk to Hank on their way to Basseterre that day. She had too much in her head, and was afraid that once she opened her mouth she wouldn't be able to control what came out it. She saved it all to speak to God in the church. To ask for forgiveness. But once she found herself kneeling in front of the altar, she realized she wouldn't be able to say anything out loud. She would have to trust the Lord could hear what went on inside her head.

She was afraid. She didn't want people to find out. It had been a terrible, terrible idea, and she couldn't regret it more. She was just curious. She had never been kissed before and she knew it would take way too long to do so if she followed her parents instructions. She had never been kissed but every night she would dream of lips against hers - which only increased after she saw Rachel kissing the slave. It was just the easiest way out.

She needed to find out if it would be as good as it was in her dreams. Granted, in her dreams it was always boys and Rachel, well… It was just much more sinful. But in her defense, she never thought Rachel would go through with it. She couldn't imagine Rachel would for once obey her. She thought it would just be an excuse for her to punish Rachel deeper for disobeying her again. But it wasn't.

It was supposed to be a punishment for Rachel, but she felt like the one being punished. Her mind punished her at every second. Every time she brushed her tongue against the swollen lip and felt the exact place Rachel had carved down her teeth - she was punished. When Rachel brushed her hair that morning, and she felt the girl's finger moving so gently against her scalp - she was punished. Because she knew gentleness was not what she wanted.

She died the moment Rachel pulled her by the hair. She had never held herself so tightly, afraid she would become undone right in front of her slave - because of her slave! If her parents ever found out, it would be the end of her. If anyone ever found out, it would be the end of her. Still, she kept missing the taste of Rachel in her mouth.

But she was strong. She was Quinn Fabray, and she wouldn't let it happen to her. It wouldn't happen again. She would just keep on punishing Rachel, like she always did, and hope that one day Rachel would break and have enough of it. And Quinn would finally be satisfied. And the thoughts would leave her head. That's what it was all about. It was all a need for control. She would have it, and she would be fine again.

She had to.

"Forgive me, Father," she whispered.

"Rachel!" Lou Lee whispered from behind the door as soon as Rachel came inside. Rachel turned around and checked, but Quinn had already walked in front of her. "This came with the mail for you. You're lucky I got it first, it would be really weird if someone else saw it. The mail man had to ask me if there was a Rachel living here, cause you had never got anything before." She handed Rachel a small envelope.

"What is it?" She furrowed her eyebrows, turning it around. There were things written on it, but Rachel couldn't make out what they said except for her name, which she had learned to recognize.

"It's a letter to you," Lou Lee whispered, and then smirked. "The mail man said is from Lady Angeline!" Rachel shoved it in the pocket behind her apron before anyone could see. "How are you gonna read it?"

"I have no idea," Rachel replied in a shaky breath. "I can't let Abbie read it, what if it says something?"

"You are probably right…" Lou Lee sighed. Rachel hated that none of them knew how to read. She hated how they couldn't deal with stuff like that themselves.

"I think I'm gonna ask miss Quinn's tutor to read for me," she said, but explained further when met Lou Lee's terrified glaze. "He hates Quinn. He would be my best bet, Lou."

"I don't know Rachel, maybe we should just burn it then. That would be too dangerous," she said.

"Oh, no." Rachel shook her head vigorously. "I need to know what it says. I'm too curious to let it go like that."

"Father," Quinn asked entering the drawing room. Rachel followed closely - after what happened, she couldn't dare to make any mistakes. She would be by Quinn's side all the time for whatever she needed. She knew the smallest error would be severely punished. "Will you please ask for a horse to be prepared for me? I would like to go riding."

"Really? Wow, it's been a while, Quinn!" Russell raised an eyebrow in surprise, but gave her a smile of excitement. "Unfortunately, I won't be able to escort you this time. Please, take Rachel with you. I don't want you wandering around alone."

Rachel's heart stopped. She almost didn't realize the disappoint in Quinn's face. It was evident how hard the girl tried to win her parent's time. Rachel would find it heartbreaking, if it weren't Quinn. She didn't deserve Rachel's pity. Besides, Rachel was too cheered by the possibility of riding again. She used to go with her father too, but she hadn't ever since she moved to the farm. She missed it way too much.

"Father, please." Quinn rolled her eyes. "I'll be fine by myself. I know how to ride well."

"I'm not saying you don't, sweetheart. I'm just afraid something might happen. You're my heir, we can't take any chances. What will this farm be without you?" He played, and Rachel could swear Quinn was hurt by his words. Yet, she didn't argue any further.

Rachel climbed onto the weaker horse. She yearned to touch the big golden horse Quinn rode, but she knew better. Just being in a horse was already enough, and she held the reins tightly to avoid her urge to just hug the horse's neck with all the strength she had. She loved horses with all her heart - she just wished her father was there with her. It had been a long time since she missed him as much as she did on that day.

"Let's go," said Quinn, with one swift whip on her horse's back. The animal leaped and ran. Rachel had no idea how Quinn managed to hold herself, but she didn't have time to think. She tapped her horses stomach with her feet and ran in Quinn's direction. She giggled to herself, feeling the warm breeze against her face. She closed her eyes for half a second, but when she opened them again she realized how far Quinn was.

Her horse didn't run as fast. She didn't want to get the poor animal tired, but she knew she couldn't be that far from Quinn. If anything, Russell had ordered her to be close. She tried her best - until she realized Quinn did it on purpose. She ran as fast as she could and took sudden turns, trying to make Rachel fall off of her horse.

Rachel was startled. Basseterre was a small city - although the biggest near them. The streets were narrow and there were always people around. Rachel wasn't used to running so fast. In one of the turns, she could swear she wouldn't be able to stay up. Her heart raced and she held tightly onto the horse's mane and closed her eyes, hoping for the best.

When she opened them again, her horse had slowed down and Quinn's was riding right by her side.

"Not so bad for a slave," Quinn whispered, raising her eyebrow. Rachel could almost swear she saw something close to a smile on the corner of Quinn's mouth.

And Rachel's stomach fluttered.

Rachel hurried to the library to get to the tutor before Quinn arrived. It wasn't that difficult, Quinn really was always late, but still, she didn't wanna risk it. Mr. Henn sat on the armchair, as usual, and read a book. Rachel almost felt bad for interrupting, but she knew she wouldn't have another chance if she missed this one.

"Excuse me, sir?" She asked, her voice slightly louder than a murmur. He raised his head to face her, but then looked around, to be sure he was the one being addressed. "Would you do me a favor, sir?" She asked, checking back when she thought she heard steps.

"A favor?" He raised an eyebrow, but didn't move. Rachel took a step forward and grabbed the letter from under her apron.

"Could you please read this letter for me?" She asked, and his eyebrows went even higher. "I have received it but I don't know how to read," she explained, as if it weren't obvious already. He reached out his hand, and her heart raced. He grabbed the letter and adjusted his glasses to the tip of his nose.

"What is going on here?" Quinn asked, leaning against the doorframe. Rachel felt the air being kicked out of her lungs.

"It's nothing, miss Quinn, I was just delivering the mail that arrived for Mr. Henn," Rachel justified with the first thing that came in to her mind. She looked over for the tutor, hoping he wouldn't give her out. But he didn't have to. Quinn didn't believe her for a second.

She marched her way through the room and before Rachel could prevent it, she grasped the letter out of Mr. Henn's touch. Rachel watched as her eyes flickered reading who it came from and gasped when Quinn torn the envelope open. For a second, she hoped Quinn would read it for her. But then she remembered who Quinn was.

"What the hell is this?" She yelled, looking at Rachel as her face turned bright red. Her mouth fell open and she gasped with each line she read, which only made Rachel more curious about what it said. When she was finished, she slapped Rachel's face. It always hurt more when she wasn't expecting it. Rachel's hand covered her warm cheek, and she felt a tear coming to her eyes as Quinn started ripping the letter apart.

But she wouldn't cry. She would never let Quinn see her tears. She swallowed them, and acted tough while she watched Quinn throwing every inch of paper on to the fire. They twirled and burned under the flames and with that, all the hopes of Rachel ever finding out what they said.

"You are not allowed to receive any mails," Quinn sneered, with another slap - on her other cheek this time. "If you get any other like this, bring it to me. Or you'll face the consequences."