Rose Hill, 1779

Quinn entered the drawing room to find her father and brother playing a game of chess. It was something they always did before dinner and they usually weren't very keen on being interrupted, but Quinn couldn't wait.

"Father!" she shouted out. Her father opened his arms to welcome her with a hug the second he saw the distress on her face, but Quinn couldn't get that close to him. She wanted to believe Rachel's words before anyone else's and Rachel had promised her to say something with Quinn's father was after her again. But still, she was unsettled by the way Malcolm had implied Russell wouldn't care about what they had been doing to Rachel. "You will never believe what I just saw!"

"What is it, my dear?" He asked, voice filled with concern. George frowned too, but Quinn turned her back to him. If he hadn't helped till then, there wasn't anything he could now.

"Malcolm and some other slaves were abusing Rachel down the quarters!" she said, with a voice lower than usual. It hurt more than she had expected to say those words out loud.

"Wait a minute, have you gone to the quarters unaccompanied?" Russell asked, and Quinn frowned. Perhaps Malcolm wasn't so wrong, after all.

"Did you just listen to what I just said? Did I say it out loud?" She asked with a scoff, not believing he had dismissed her so casually when it came to such a heavy subject.

"Quinn, I have told you several times! You are not to go down there on your own! It is dangerous!"

"Well, nothing happened to me, alright? Can you, please, pretend you care about what I just told you?"

"What do you want me to say, dear?" He chuckled, pulling her to sit on his leg, just as he did when she was a child. She tensed up. Russell's chuckling turned to a heavy cough, as it always did lately. "Rachel is a woman now, is natural that she will grow interested in men among her own. I can't stop slaves from having relationships between themselves."

"Father, she wasn't interested! She was being abused!" Quinn cried out and for once looked over to George. She wished she hadn't. The look on his face said it all. "Did you know about this too? Why do I feel like I'm the last one to know about all of this?"

"Calm down, child. This isn't the end of the world. Let her have a little fun, for God's sake," Russell chuckled again and Quinn leaped out of his lap. It felt way too disgusting to be there. He coughed again and Quinn wondered if all that coughing perhaps weren't a punishment from God for the words that left his mouth.

"I can't believe you, George," she said, narrowing her eyes in his direction. He looked down, pleading guilty, but she would never forgive him. "After all you told me when we last talked. I'm sick tired of all this duality. Whenever I think we will be alright, you go and completely ruin it."

"I'm sorry, Quinn, I can-" he said, trying to explain himself. But Quinn wouldn't let him.

"No, George. I don't wanna hear anything else from you. I just can't wait until you're out of this house and I never have to look at your face again," she snapped.

"Come on, Quinn, now don't be like that. We have talked about that attitude. George hasn't done anything," Russell tried to intervene, putting a hand on her shoulder. She shrugged it off, and walked towards the door. She could see pain in her father's face, but couldn't be sure if it was due to their fight or from all the coughing.

"That's the problem, father. He never does anything. He talks a lot about how we should do things, but when it comes to putting his words into actions he just never does," she said with a sarcastic chuckle, before turning to George. "I hope you don't expect me at your wedding, brother."

When Quinn walked into the room and Rachel smiled towards her, she tried to smile back. But she couldn't. Her eyes welled up, and she felt guilty. She was not the one who should be crying. She should be consoling Rachel - but Rachel didn't seem faltered at all.

"How can you smile?" Quinn asked, sitting on her bed against the bed post, in front of Rachel. Rachel shrugged, and Quinn's mouth hang slightly open in shock. "Why are you acting like this is not a big deal?"

"Because it isn't," Rachel answered with another shrug. Quinn frowned. Perhaps that's how Rachel coped. Perhaps she ignored it and pretended it never happened. But Quinn couldn't. It would eat her up inside if they didn't talk about it.

"It is, Rachel! It's a huge deal! That wasn't right!" Quinn argued, trying to get an reaction from Rachel. Rachel sighed, finally dropping her smile, and Quinn swallowed dryly.

"A lot of things aren't right in slavery, Quinn, but that doesn't stop them from happening," she said under her breath, staring down at the sheets.

"What are you talking about?" Quinn asked, concerned there was more Rachel wasn't telling her. She wouldn't throw it in Rachel's face, but she couldn't help feeling hurt that Rachel had again, not told her what was happening.

"I mean, you haven't seen anything, Quinn," she shrugged once more. Quinn scooted closer and wrapped an arm around Rachel's shoulder, just to prevent her from keep shrugging again. She couldn't make Rachel react appropriately, but she could stop Rachel from being so nonchalantly about it. "It's not like it's been the first time," she whispered, and Quinn stiffened.

"What have they done?" Quinn asked, regretting it immediately. She didn't want an answer for that. She felt better not knowing, but she needed to know how extensively she would punish whoever touched Rachel.

"What haven't they done?" Rachel answered with a hurt chuckle that broke Quinn in pieces. She held Rachel tighter, but it was almost as if Rachel wasn't there. She didn't respond at all.

"Rachel, stop giving me evasive answers," she cried out. Rachel sighed again. "I'm gonna punish them, Rach. I promise you. They will pay for that."

"You don't need the details, Quinn. They did a lot, but they weren't the first and they won't be the last. And please, don't punish them. You saw what happened last time you tried to pick my fights," Rachel whispered.

"Rachel, you have never been like this," Quinn said, swallowing thick. It hurt her to see Rachel giving up like that. She had always heard black people were naturally predisposed to be submissive, but she always thought Rachel was different. "You always fought back, why are you being like this?"

"I don't have a choice, Quinn. I'm a slave. I have nothing. Not even my body is mine. This is how it has always been, and it's way worse if I try to do something," Rachel almost growled. Quinn could see her coming back to her senses. Getting angry at her fate. It was reassuring to see some life in her, but Quinn wasn't sure it was for the best.

"Well, what can I do, then? If you won't let me punish them, there must be something else I can do." Quinn said. "I don't want anyone touching you," she whispered. No one could hear behind their walls, but Quinn still whispered. It was their secret, after all.

"You could free me," Rachel said firmly and hit Quinn way too hard. It wasn't like anything she expected. She felt her body tensing up and she knew Rachel could feel too.

In a question of seconds, a billion thoughts crossed Quinn's mind. The possibility that Rachel had fooled her all along. That this had been her plan all along, and that the second she was free she would run away. As if she had sensed what Quinn imagined, Rachel grabbed Quinn's hand and brought to her face, connecting their eyes. Quinn knew those eyes didn't lie to her. Rachel wouldn't leave her. She could give Rachel her freedom.

But she couldn't. Not after the way Malcolm had talked to her earlier. Not when she knew people were suspicious about the two of them. It would only confirm their doubts. It would be their end. She always thought of being her and Rachel against the world, but in reality she wasn't sure they could make it in the real world, outside of the farm. It was one thing to hide their relationship in a farm where they had everything, but it was a whole other to be alone in a city where everyone believed you were the spawn of the devil.

"I can't," she said almost inaudible. Rachel flinched away from her, and she felt a thousand needles picking her on the place Rachel's skin had been.

"You keep saying you want me to be only yours," Rachel whispered with a sad smile. "You keep saying you love me," she went on, with a small crackle on her voice. "Yet, you won't give me the one thing that could change my life for the better. The one thing that only you can give me, and that I've wanted my whole life. If you loved me, Quinn, you would give me my freedom."

"What is even freedom?" Quinn chuckled nervously. "Do you think I'm free? Because I'm not. I'm trapped in this farm too, Rachel. I'm trapped in here forced to kill people so that rich english men will be able to enjoy their sweet tea!"

"Are you really trying to compare-" Rachel started with a gasp, but couldn't go on. She shook her head. "Those are the moments I remember who you truly are. I always think you have changed, but when you say things like that you go back to being nothing more than the little girl who was ruthless enough to count the whips as my mother died."

If Quinn had taken a bullet to her heart it wouldn't have hurt nearly as much. She thought they were over that. She had apologized. She was only a child, she didn't know what she had been doing. She thought Rachel had understood. She knew it wouldn't be easy to forget something like that, but she had tried hard every day to make Rachel see she wasn't that child anymore.

"Alright," Quinn whispered, turning with her back to Rachel and climbing under the covers. She wouldn't let Rachel know how much it hurt her. She wouldn't let Rachel see her tears. She wouldn't let Rachel throw back so mercilessly all the love she had given her. "If that's what you think, I think our conversation is over."

She felt Rachel shifting around for a while, before giving up and getting out of the bed and into the dressing room. All she could do was hope her bedsheets were dry in the morning so that Rachel wouldn't find out how she sobbed herself to sleep.

"The cropover party is tonight. You're allowed to come if you want to," Quinn said. It was the first words she said to Rachel in two days.

"I won't," Rachel answered. It was the first words she heard from Rachel in two days. Her legs wobbled.

It was only two days, but it felt like years. Quinn had thought she would have no worst days than the ones she had spent alone while Rachel worked down the quarters. She was rapidly stood corrected. It was far worse to have Rachel right by her side, but not talking to her. Not touching her aside from the mandatory dressing and hair braiding. Not sharing a bed with her. Right there, but not quite.

Quinn didn't remember ever having the farm in such a tense state. The uprising plans, the selling of the slaves who had planned it, the killing of the slaves had beaten Rachel and the whipping on the ones that had touched her - because yes, Quinn could be hurt, but she still wouldn't let it pass. It all brought an amount of tension between the slaves and the main house that Quinn couldn't recall ever feeling before.

To make it all worse, her father had fallen even more ill. Fevers started to break periodically and on that fateful day he didn't have the strength to get up and host the so famous cropover party they had every year. With that, her mother wouldn't be coming either. She claimed she had to be by her husband's side, but Quinn knew better. She knew her mother didn't like mixing up with slaves. Meanwhile, George was too caught up on his wedding plans and wouldn't be able to be back from Basseterre in time.

As if it wasn't enough, added in the fact that with the worse crop in more than twenty years of plantation, they didn't have money enough offer the so famous banquet of every year. So there she was. Quinn, all alone, dealing with hundreds of slaves that were already angry at her family and would only get more nervous when they found out the food wouldn't be as abundant as always.

She didn't dare taking one glass of water. She wouldn't take anything from the little they had. She felt guilty enough knowing although her father claimed to not have money for the party, he still kept on helping George with the wedding - where food wouldn't be a problem, she was just sure.

Alone, she sat on a wooden bench and watched as few slaves danced beside the fire. The party was a failure, compared to all the previous years, and Quinn wondered it was a sign of what her administration would bring to the farm. This had never happened before she started getting involved in those matters. Maybe she didn't have what it took. Maybe it wasn't too late to take on the offers to flee to America and continue her studies and never come back. But the lights from her window flickered, and a shadow appeared to remind her that she knew she could never leave.

"May I sit in here, miss Quinn?" Lou Lee asked. Quinn was caught in surprise, but nodded, scooting to the near end. "How do you like the food, miss Quinn? My mother helped Abbie to prepare it all," she said proudly.

"Everything is delicious," Quinn lied. She hadn't tried anything. "Your mother is very talented in the kitchen. So is Abbigail. We're very thankful for their work." Lou Lee looked shocked, and her cheeks blushed. Quinn realized she had never done this before. Thanking a slave for their work. She always just thought it was what they were made to do. Seeing Lou Lee's reaction made her think that perhaps she could start doing it more. "You, too, Lou Lee. You were very helpful while Rachel was gone. Thank you for helping me," she said. She didn't know why, but she felt much lighter after the words slipped out of her mouth.

"What am I to do now, miss?" Lou Lee asked shyly. Quinn frowned in confusion, and she went on. "I mean, now that Rachel is back. Should I go back to the kitchen house?" Quinn stopped to think for a second.

"I'm not sure yet, Lou Lee. Stay on stand by for a while. Enjoy the life growing inside of you. I'm not sure how things will work out with Rachel and I might need you back. So for now you can just rest for a little while," she said with a smile. Lou Lee's eyes popped out of her face. Quinn realized the Lou Lee didn't know that Quinn knew she was pregnant, but she seemed more than pleased with Quinn's answer.

"Thank you so much, miss Quinn," she wailed. "You're the kindest, miss! I will run to tell my mother, if you excuse me?" she asked apprehensively.

Quinn dismissed her with a wave of hand and a smile, and went back on her solitude, trying to find the rare smiles that appeared between the angry faces. Trying to believe Lou Lee's words and forget Rachel's. Trying to convince herself she wasn't doing such a bad job after all.

Quinn opened her bedroom door to find Rachel sitting by the fire, wearing only her stays, and with George sitting by her side and going through his briefcase. Quinn felt her stomach churning.

"What are you doing here?" she asked with a deep frown. He ignored her and grabbed all the doctor's tools that were scattered through the floor, shoving them back into his briefcase before turning to face Rachel.

"I'm sure it will all be fine, but tell me if you need anything," he said, getting up and walking past Quinn. "I'll leave you two to have a talk, now."

That had been Quinn's plan all along. She had left the cropover party earlier, because she had had enough. She couldn't be away from Rachel, and she was willing to explain herself, give her all the reasons why she couldn't abide to her wishes, and apologize. Whatever it took to be able to have Rachel again. She sat on the bed and took a deep breath.

"I'm sorry," Rachel said first, in a small whisper, looking down. "Our relationship is too.. different. I can't tell where are the boundaries, but I think I overstepped them. I'm still learning how to deal with all of this. I didn't think before saying what I said."

"No," Quinn answered and Rachel's head shot up in her direction, startled that Quinn had denied her apologies. So Quinn explained. "I'm the one that should apologize. I love you too much, Rachel. And I'm terrified of losing you. I can't free you now, because it would make it too obvious that I feel something for you. But I give you my word that I will, eventually."

Rachel sighed, but nodded, and walked over to sit on Quinn's lap. To know that their intimacy was still enough for Rachel to do so without it ever feeling weird made Quinn's heart warm again, in a way it hadn't since their fight.

"Thank you," Rachel whispered, dropping a kiss on Quinn's cheek. "But still. I shouldn't have said what I did. You're not just that little girl-"

"It's alright, Rachel, really," Quinn interrupted her. "I understand that you will probably never forget that, but I will still keep on trying-"

"No, Quinn, let me finish!" Rachel said, covering Quinn's lips with her finger. Quinn shut her mouth and smiled shyly. "You're not just that little girl. It's like you have a whole lot of different people inside of you. And even though I'm more fond of some of those than the others," she paused to breath, and connect their eyes. "I love everyone of them. And I love you. And it wasn't fair that I had never said it, even though you did ages ago. I didn't wanna give that to you, because I guess a part of me was still resentful of what you did. But I have to move on. You have grown up a lot, and you have changed. You can still be flawed, but you have made my life so much better. And you have saved me when I needed. And you protect me, always. And you make me feel a lot of things I had never felt. So yes, I love you. Being free or not, that wouldn't change. I would be free, but I would still be by your side. Always."

It was probably the longest she had ever heard Rachel talking and she felt her heart flipping with every sentence. Silence fell upon them, because Quinn couldn't get her mind to formulate anything to say back. So instead, she lunged forward and crashed their lips together. They kissed for what it felt like an eternity, but still not long enough. She had kissed Rachel many and many times before, and felt the love in it every single one of them - but somehow, it was even stronger after she had heard the words. Rachel pulled her by the gown, and they fell down on to the bed. Quinn was well aware of what Rachel wanted and she would never be the one to deny it. But one question wouldn't leave her mind.

"I need to ask you something," Quinn whispered against Rachel's lips. Rachel nodded, and Quinn went on. "You said you feel like your body doesn't belong to you," she said, drawing in a sharp breath to gather the courage to ask. "When I touch you, do you feel the same way you do when they…" She didn't have the guts to finish the sentence, but she knew Rachel would understand. "Is that why you had been avoiding doing it with me?"

"If you have to ask that, you clearly haven't been paying attention enough," Rachel murmured, grabbing Quinn's bottom lip between hers and biting it down. "You have how I reacted while they touched me. Take me now and see it for yourself. If you don't notice the difference, we'll try again."

Quinn did notice it.

But that didn't stop them from trying again, and again, and again.