Chapter 48: Pondering Darkness

"Riku…?" she asked quietly, blinking her eyes a few times.

She received no response, and then frowned in confusion. With a bit of effort, she rolled over, and was surprised to find him sitting in the middle of the floor, books and loose papers strewn around him. He had one book in his lap, which he was reading frantically, occasionally glancing over at one of the loose papers as if to compare something. He was muttering slightly.

"What are you doing?" she asked, louder this time.

He jumped.

"Namine!" he said, glancing over at her. He smiled, though it looked a bit forced. "I- I didn't realize you were awake. I-"

"What are you doing?" Namine repeated, laughing slightly. Though, the forced smile was bothering her…

"I-" Riku glanced down at the book in his lap. "Oh, I- I'm doing research. 19 brought it over. It's all concerning memories." He glanced back up at her. "I thought… maybe… we could figure out more about the meltdowns." He smiled slightly, though it still looked forced, and then returned to reading.

Namine frowned slightly, unsure of what to do. Part of her wanted to thank him. But… she was worried. She pushed herself into a sitting position, and looked at him. His back was to her, though he was glancing over at some of the papers around him at the moment.

"How long have you been at this?" she asked after a second.

"A while," Riku replied, using the tone that indicated he didn't quite care.

"How long's 'a while'?" she pressed. The laughter was returning to her voice, despite her worry.

Riku shrugged. "No more than a few hours," he said, clarifying himself. He flashed her another smile and then returned to the book.

Namine frowned, realizing something. Not only did his smile seem a bit forced, but his eyes were tired, more tired than she had seen them in a while. Tired as they only tended to get when he was focusing hard on something.

Maybe… too hard… she thought.

"When was the last time you slept?" she asked after a moment.

He didn't answer right away. She sighed.

"I don't know," he said finally. "I guess it's been a while."

"You should probably get some sleep," Namine laughed.

"I'm fine," he muttered. "I'm not tired."

"Riku, I'm serious," Namine said. "I don't care if you can function on little sleep, it's probably not good for you. You should really-"

"I'm fine!" Riku snapped, interrupting her.

She slowly closed her mouth, her sentence and plenty of her thoughts coming to an abrupt halt. She swallowed; all she could do was sit there in shock.

Riku had just snapped at her.

And for some reason, she couldn't think of what to do in response.

Riku slowly turned to her, looking as shocked as she felt. "I- I'm so sorry," he stuttered. "I didn't- I- I didn't mean-"

She shook her head. "Don't- don't worry about it," she told him. "You're just tired, that's all."

"I-" he began, and then sighed. "Yeah… tired…" he whispered. "I must be…" he rubbed his head, slowly closing the book and gathering up the papers. He turned to her again. "Listen, I am really sorry. I didn't mean to snap at you."

"Don't worry about it," she repeated. "Go take a nap. You probably need some sleep."

He nodded, standing up with the pile of books in his arms. "If you need anything, just… come get me," he told her, starting out.

"Leave the books here," she said.

He turned to her, confused.

"I don't want you reading instead of sleeping," Namine explained. "Leave them here."

Riku slowly nodded and set the books down on the table. He glanced back at her and gave her a weak smile before leaving.

"Research, huh?" Namine muttered to herself once he was gone, grabbing one of the books. After a second of thinking, she grabbed her sketchbook too, and then returned to her bed and began to read.

xxx

Sora

Alright I won't even try and hide it anymore, okay? This. Freaking. Sucks. Namine left, no one remembers you or her or Riku and it sucks. It sucks so bad, Sora.

I'm so tired of being so lonely. I'm tired of no one remembering you. I'm tired of no one getting it. No one understands what it's like, Sora, and I just feel so- so ALONE.

I don't know where you are Sora. I don't know what you're doing. But it can't be so important you can't come home? You don't even have to stay home! Just come home long enough to get me off this FREAKING island, Sora, I'm going to lose my mind.

I mean, on the bright side, something interesting finally happened today. Ran into this invisible guy. He was pretty decent, I guess. Dunno who he was, though. Didn't give me a name, but—

That wasn't you, Sora, was it?

I don't think it was, because he was a hell of a lot ruder than you'd ever be, but… there was something about him.

If it was you, Sora…

I don't know how the heck you got yourself turned invisible.

But please please please PLEASE just, talk to me about it, okay?

Please.

Come home.

- Kairi

xxx

Sora's Shadow read through the letter again, eyebrows raised.

"Dang… You know, she's a lot more upset than I thought," he mused. If her words weren't enough, her cramped handwriting certainly was. This looked like it was written in the height of anger.

She also thought he was Sora, which, he already knew. And couldn't even be mad about.

(If being around her had stirred up Sora's memories inside HIS chest, then who knows what had been stirring in hers.)

Well, okay, he could be mad about it. But he couldn't blame her. He knew where she was coming from, it just, wasn't true. He wasn't Sora. Just… someone who looked kind of like Sora.

"Good thing I found this letter, too," he continued to himself, still scanning its words as if they'd tell him something new. "Since, you know, she mentioned me—If Sora'd found out I'd been to see her…"

Well, it meant he could never see her again, that was for sure. He'd been by there once since that first time—as he'd promised—but… it was nice, talking to her. He couldn't imagine having that taken away. And if she found out who he was…

He didn't like thinking about that, so he didn't.

His eyes lingered on a single part of the letter. Six little words.

He was pretty decent, I guess.

Sure, Kairi'd said a lot of other not-so-nice things about him in this letter, but… He was pretty decent, I guess. She didn't hate him. It made him feel kind of warm inside.

Smiling, he folded up the letter carefully, and stuck it in his pocket.

That done, Sora's Shadow looked around the area. Nothing had changed, really. He sat on one of the rooftops in Hollow Bastion, and thus had an absolutely wonderful view of the area. And, just his luck, Sora happened to be in the middle of training not too far from here.

"Go on… get stronger…" the Shadow laughed. "The stronger you get, the stronger I get." He leaned back, grinning. "Besides, the longer I wait to bother him again, the more anger he can build up against me. I can already feel it growing…"

He closed his eyes, basking in the glow if it.

He fed off of all of Sora's pain, and anger, and most certainly, his hate. Especially Sora's hate towards him. The more Sora hated him, the stronger he would get. And maybe… he'd be strong enough that he wouldn't have to worry about the weird plane of existence. Maybe he'd be strong enough to truly exist. And not just exist to Sora, or half-exist to Kairi. But… completely exist to everyone.

Wouldn't that be nice.