Chapter 49: Anxious Heart

There was a knock on her door. Surprised, Namine looked up.

"Who is it?" she asked.

"Number 19, miss," came the reply. "May I come in?"

"Sure," Namine laughed.

The door slowly opened, and 19 took one look around the room and almost immediately frowned. "Where is Master Riku?" he asked.

"Sleeping," Namine replied. "At least, he should be…"

"Ah!" 19 said. "Right… I suppose I should have checked his room first… I had just assumed that he was still with you-" he trailed off, looking rather embarrassed. "But… it's probably best if I don't disturb him, he hasn't slept in a while…"

"Yeah, he sure hasn't," Namine agreed.

"Well, if you see him before I do, let him know that I've found more research," 19 finished. "Do you… happen to know if the research I found helped any?"

"No, sorry," Namine replied with a shrug. "I insisted that he get some sleep before I bothered to ask about that."

19 glanced around the room again, noting that she had also seemed to be looking through the research. His eyes lit up. "Oh, so you've read it, too?" he asked, sounding positively excited.

She nodded. "Not all of it, but I'm working my way through some."

"Has it been helpful?"

She grimaced. 19's smile fell.

"No! The research is fine!" Namine said quickly. "It's just… all I seem to be learning from it is that there's no possible way to fix what's wrong with me- and-"

"No worries," 19 interrupted. "I'm not offended. Only worried that… well… if it's not helpful…" He grimaced this time. "I'm not quite sure how happy Riku will be," he muttered.

"He's not going to kill you, if that's what you're worried about," Namine laughed.

"Are you sure about that, miss?" 19 replied, a devious glint in his eye.

"I'll make sure that he doesn't," Namine said, grinning.

19 laughed. "Good luck with that! Though… if you managed to convince him to sleep…" He trailed off, and then raised his eyebrows, realizing something. "Who knows, maybe you'll get him to actually use the Repair Program! Anyways, I should be going."

"Repair Program…?" Namine muttered. She started to ask 19 about that, only to find him already gone.

Just another thing to ask Riku about… she thought with a sigh.

xxx

Riku lay on his bed, staring at the ceiling. As tired as he was, he just… couldn't sleep.

I can't believe I yelled at her… he thought with a groan. I feel terrible. I mean- I know I've apologized… but…

She told me not to worry about it.

So… I should stop worrying about it.

Right?

He rolled over.

I don't know… I still feel bad.

Not once had he ever yelled at her, or snapped at her, or even raised his voice. The only time that he even got close to raising his voice was when he was telling her to stop worrying about something that she shouldn't be worrying about, typically after a meltdown. But then… it was only with mild annoyance. He couldn't yell at her after a meltdown. She was already in enough stress then, and him yelling would have just made it worse.

Besides… he found it hard to get mad at her at all.

Except just then… he thought wearily. Though… it wasn't like I was mad… I was just-

Just annoyed at what I was reading.

And tired.

And she started pestering me- and-

I snapped…

He groaned again, rubbing his head. He rolled back over onto his back and continued staring at the ceiling. He felt absolutely terrible. They hadn't even had time to talk much. He never bothered to tell her how the mission went. Never got around to explaining more about the research…

He never even got the chance to ask if she was okay.

His door opened a crack and he glanced over at it, very confused. For a second, he was slightly scared that Namine would be standing there. Or maybe… hoping that it was her, coming to tell him that everything was okay. He was, however, surprised (and slightly relieved and disappointed) to find 19 standing there. 19 looked embarrassed.

"So sorry to disturb you, sir!" 19 exclaimed. "Miss Namine mentioned that you were sleeping, and I thought I'd check for myself considering that you ne-"

"You talked to Namine!" Riku asked quickly, sitting up. "Is she alright? Did she seem upset? Was she angry?"

19 frowned, now more confused than embarrassed.

"Umm… no…" he replied slowly. "Why would she be?"

Riku paused. "I- Nothing. Nothing. Just- just nothing," he muttered.

19 considered pressing the issue farther, but decided against it. "Well, sir, you should probably get back to sleep. I'm sorry I-"

"19!" came a very sudden and very loud shout from down the hall.

19 sighed.

"I wondered when 23 was going to start bothering me…" he muttered. "He hasn't complained in a while. I love working with him and all, but he's… changed… recently…" He shook his head. "Sorry sir, I should leave you alone and… go see what 23 wants. Sleep well!"

And with that, 19 left.

Riku let out a slightly relieved sigh as he lay back down.

She's not… mad.

Maybe I'm just overreacting.

It probably is just nothing…

He slowly closed his eyes, set on falling asleep this time. He knew for certain that even if Namine wasn't mad at him now, she'd probably be mad at him if he didn't sleep like she'd told him to.