Disclaimer: I don't own iCarly or Stargate, which is further mentioned in this chapter.

Chapter Eleven: iWon't Lose This

The response to their iCarly episode was positive, and the team was eager to continue filming new episodes. Spencer and Gibby had been happy about Sam and Freddie's healed friendship, of course, and had enthusiastically taken part in the web series filming "festivities".

One night, when Carly had gone out to dinner with Phillip, Sam had to decide if she was too proud to ask Freddie if he wanted to hang out, but she decided that maybe they were past the point in their friendship where pride needed to get in the way. So she called him.

"Hey, Fredson, wanna hang out? Carly's on a date."

"Oh. Well, I actually told Gibs and Raylee that I would watch a show with them tonight. It's kind of tradition. But, hey, if you wanna come…"

Sam hesitated, "What, uh, what show?"

"Yeah. It's kinda… nerdy. It's Stargate. You'd probably hate it…"

"Probably." Sam said, hesitating. She really didn't want to hang out alone all evening. "But... I might…"

"I'll buy you ham if you come." Freddie interjected quickly.

"Really?"

"Sure! I'll pick you up, okay?"

"I can take the bus."

"Nah. No big deal."

"Alright. See you, nerdbrain."

"See you… punk?"

"Nice try. Not real clever."

0000

The group watching Stargate welcomed Sam enthusiastically, and Sam had an okay time. She wouldn't admit to any pleasure she took in watching the show, but she didn't mind it either. Freddie felt it necessary to explain the different plot points to Sam. Who the aliens were, what the character backstories were, and so on.

Afterwards, he dropped her off at her house, and when she was safely inside her room she finally let herself think about how happy she was about their friendship. Sure, it felt weird to be nice to each other, and she didn't stop saying rather rude things, just to act normal, but they seemed to have this understanding in their friendship now. Like, they were best friends too. They weren't just mutual friends of Carly's.

Carly was happy too, and she wasn't always hanging out with Phillip. She spent a lot of time with Sam and Freddie, giggling every now and then out of joy at the fact that they could all spend time together again. It wasn't that Sam wasn't still herself around Freddie, it was just that she extended more courtesy to him than she used to. More of the kind of less-mocking-courtesy she had always extended to Carly, because they were best friends and Carly could be…sensitive. She had to try to be a little bit rude to Freddie, just for the sake normalcy, but it was less often.

The thing was, the more time she spent with Freddie, the more she liked him. She had, of course, liked him before. But she was starting to realize that when they actually tried to get along, it kind of worked. It began to seem like a relationship between them could actually last. The more she felt that way, though, the less she wanted to say something. It felt like their relationship was like a broken piece of porcelain that had finally been glued together, and while the drying glue was getting stronger, a relationship could break the porcelain all over again.

Which meant that she was determined to keep her mouth shut about her feelings. She couldn't tell Freddie. Not for the sake of pride, this time, but for the sake of their friendship.

Once or twice Carly commented on the fact that Sam and Freddie seemed to be getting quite close, a smug grin spreading across her face. Sam would just shrug it off, not wanting to talk about it.

Meanwhile, Sam was laughing, unconsciously, at more of Freddie's bad jokes. And he was grinning at more of Sam's antics.

0000

One day at school, Carly, Sam, Freddie, Gibby and Raylee, were walking down the hall together. Jack Hutchins jogged up behind them and fell in step beside Sam,

"Hey, Puckett."

Sam said nothing at first, her eyes narrowing. Freddie, who was watching carefully, fully expected Sam to beat up Hutchins at any moment.

"Look, don't tell me you're still mad."

"I'm not mad." Sam said, shrugging and continuing to walk. Everyone in the group was listening carefully to the conversation.

"Oh, that's great!" He said, with a laugh, "I knew you wouldn't be mad."

"What did you think I'd be? Crushed? Heartbroken?" Sam asked with raised eyebrows.

Jack laughed, "N…No. I thought it would be funny, you know!"

"Haha." Sam said, without a trace of humor. "Look, Hutchins, I'm tough. I'm not mad, cause I don't care."

"Great." Hutchins said, sounding confused.

"But I don't want to see you messing with anybody else, less tough than me. You hear Hutchins?" Sam said, turning to face him.

"Uh… I hear. Gotta go."

Freddie smiled slightly, watching the ground.

"What are you grinning about?" Sam asked.

"Nothin. Let's get to class."

0000

One day, after filming an iCarly, Freddie had told Sam he would walk her to the bus stop, seeing as his mom needed the car and he couldn't drop her off at her house. He had started driving her back since they'd become friends again and his gentleman attitude made him unwilling to make her take the bus home, normally.

"Could be dangerous." He'd said.

She didn't mind the excuse to hang out with him.

On this particular occasion, he couldn't drive her back, but wasn't willing to let her walk the five yards out of the building to the bus stop alone either.

They were laughing about some joke, before Freddie had become suddenly serious.

"Hey, Sam, can I ask you something?"

Sam hesitated, thinking about broken porcelain and the fragile state of their friendship. She tried to laugh.

"You don't have to. I can tell you now, that was a hilarious episode of iCarly."

"Come on, Sam, aren't you going to actually listen to my question?"

"What is it?" She said, fear welling up inside her chest.

"We've gotten really close… Haven't we?" He asked, watching her for her reaction.

"Yeah."

"Do you ever think…" He broke off, "I just mean…Don't you think that there might be something…else…between us?"

It felt too risky. She could say yes, that she could be in love with him. They would feel happy for a while. Really, very happy. But then, they might break up. Then they might stop speaking again and Sam wasn't ready. Not again.

She swallowed, hard.

"Something else?" She looked at him, returning the question. Wishing he would understand what she was thinking, so that she didn't have to hurt him, and so that she didn't have to say it.

He didn't answer, he knew she understood what he was saying.

"Freddie I…" She paused, trying to collect her thoughts. She didn't mean to stay silent for long, but it must have been long enough because he spoke again.

"Never mind, forget it." She knew he was hurt, but he didn't sound angry. "Look, if you take the bus you'll have to walk back to your house in the dark. Let me pay for a taxi for you."

"No, I'll be fine." She shrugged.

"I'm buying you a cab, Sam."

There was one of the yellow vehicles at the curb and Freddie opened the door for him.

Sam suddenly hugged Freddie. She didn't hug people much and she let go quickly, she just wanted him not to feel rejected…But not to feel accepted either. She couldn't accept. She got into the taxi, avoiding looking at him.

He seemed stunned. He paused for only a moment, then he shut the taxi door behind her. He opened the passenger door in the front to pay the cab driver, then shut that one too, and walked back toward Bushwell plaza.

Sam watched him, wondering if she had made the right choice.

Author's Note: I hope you all have a wonderful, blessed Easter!